₦airaland Forum

Hi Nairalanders,

I am a Nigerian based in the US. I grew up in one of the southern states in Nigeria. I met my fiancee who is based in Nigeria, Lagos to be precised. I came down to Nigeria for the introduction and we intend to do a small bride price payment due to the type of relocation path I want to use to bring her to the US which doesn’t require us to be legally married or even traditionally married.

Due to the nature of the visa type which I want to use to bring my wife to the US, I suggested to my fiancee and her family to do the bride price and a small igbankwu ceremony in Lagos where her parents reside. I also pleaded to them that i was ready to pay any fine from their village (Anambra State). The visa path is the K1 visa route which requires that we are not married even traditionally but I decided to do this to show my commitment to her parents. I believe if it is done in her father’s house in Lagos, it will be easy to manage the crowd in Lagos better than in her village where people may secretly take pictures and post those pictures and result in her visa disqualification.

Another reason why I suggested we do all of this in her fathers house in Lagos was because of the insecurity in the eastern part as I do not want to be liable for anybody’s death or kidnap in the event that this happens because they are coming to celebrate with me.

Sadly, her parents have refused to bulge as they are insisting that this must be done in the east. I am really worried and confused on what to do

Canada2021:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am a Nigerian based in the US. I grew up in one of the southern states in Nigeria. I met my fiancee who is based in Nigeria, Lagos to be precised. I came down to Nigeria for the introduction and we intend to do a small bride price payment due to the type of relocation path I want to use to bring her to the US which doesn’t require us to be legally married or even traditionally married.

Due to the nature of the visa type which I want to use to bring my wife to the US, I suggested to my fiancee and her family to do the bride price and a small igbankwu ceremony in Lagos where her parents reside. I also pleaded to them that i was ready to pay any fine from their village (Anambra State). The visa path is the K1 visa route which requires that we are not married even traditionally but I decided to do this to show my commitment to her parents. I believe if it is done in her father’s house in Lagos, it will be easy to manage the crowd in Lagos better than in her village where people my secretly take pictures and post those pictures and result in her visa disqualification.

Another reason why I suggested we do all of this in her fathers house in Lagos was because of the insecurity in the eastern part as I do not want to be liable for anybody’s death or kidnap in the event that this happens because they are coming to celebrate with me.

Sadly, her parents have refused to bulge as they are insisting that this must be done in the east. I am really worried and confused on what to do

bro comot body. Na the sign say them no dey reasonable be that. Go find another girl.

Every good tailor would know those materials being displayed by her parents are big enough to sew a very Big red flag

Imagine you wey dey outside naija come even dey more security conscious more than dem . Bro, follow your instincts and abort that mission..

Canada2021:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am a Nigerian based in the US. I grew up in one of the southern states in Nigeria. I met my fiancee who is based in Nigeria, Lagos to be precised. I came down to Nigeria for the introduction and we intend to do a small bride price payment due to the type of relocation path I want to use to bring her to the US which doesn’t require us to be legally married or even traditionally married.

Due to the nature of the visa type which I want to use to bring my wife to the US, I suggested to my fiancee and her family to do the bride price and a small igbankwu ceremony in Lagos where her parents reside. I also pleaded to them that i was ready to pay any fine from their village (Anambra State). The visa path is the K1 visa route which requires that we are not married even traditionally but I decided to do this to show my commitment to her parents. I believe if it is done in her father’s house in Lagos, it will be easy to manage the crowd in Lagos better than in her village where people may secretly take pictures and post those pictures and result in her visa disqualification.

Another reason why I suggested we do all of this in her fathers house in Lagos was because of the insecurity in the eastern part as I do not want to be liable for anybody’s death or kidnap in the event that this happens because they are coming to celebrate with me.

Sadly, her parents have refused to bulge as they are insisting that this must be done in the east. I am really worried and confused on what to do

1. Her visa will be denied because she's married to you.. explain this type of relocation path.... In trying to control the crowd reason you are suggesting Lagos... I Understand this sentence perfectly well...

Oga there is nothing to be confused 🤔 🤔 🤔

Like I have been saying any sane person knows that travelling upandan isn't safe... Insecurity and kidnappings are on the rampage... Her parents are just being selfish and want to feel among..

Apart from the fact that you are intending on taking her abroad to increase the chances of her being safe, access to good health care and better amenities.. it seems her family are the real village people about to hinder her...

Verdict
Please don't allow anyone use their own reggae to spoil your blues.. break up with her.. let her family go look for a groom that's willingly to risk his life to go all the way to her village to pay bride price and go back to his State of abode.. Go through all the risks just to do things traditionally in their village... Man dies only once...

Your to be inlaws are inconsiderate...

Lastly, There are many willing fishes of good nature from enlightened families who also stay in Lagos ... These fishes are also in the numerous oceans.. so please don't be downcast... Disappointment must come in life.. it's how you pick yourself up and face it that's the important thing..

No go follow love wey no get head o.... Reasoning is also important

Canada2021:
Sadly, her parents have refused to bulge as they are insisting that this must be done in the east. I am really worried and confused on what to do

You explained the whole plan to them and they said No?

On second thought... you can still do a parlour gathering in Anambra. No canopies, No music, just a matter of you going there with one or two people and settling the list. You all do it indoors. Even guys based here in Naija do this.
Did the parents give you this option?

Finally, I want to believe she has been aware of this plan. What is she even saying in all this objection posed by her family? who does she side with?

AllBlack:
You explained the whole plan to them and they said No?

On second thought... you can still do a parlour gathering in Anambra. No canopies, No music, just a matter of you going there with one or two people and settling the list. You all do it indoors. Even guys based here in Naija do this.
Did the parents give you this option?

Finally, I want to believe she has been aware of this plan. What is she even saying in all this objection posed by her family? who does she side with?

she is indifferent and it seems like that she is supporting them

Canada2021:
she is indifferent and it seems like that she is supporting them

Oga move

Fiancé wey somebody else fit Dey knack .
Anyways you are doing the girl n her family a favour. U are the price.
Just abort mission n look for another naija girl

Abort the mission simple man