₦airaland Forum

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated. My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve. I wish I could hustle harder but my health is not allowing me to. I feel also very sad and lonely living in the U.S as it's only me and my wife and I dont really have any friends. Everyone here always mind their business and its tough building any meaningful relationships. I have toyed with the idea of moving back to Nigeria in my head since America has not been all I hoped it will be for me but my wife does not want to and she quickly reminds me of the employment suitation in Nigeria and how it is me that made her come here in the first place. She kind of prefers it here. We have no kids yet so that is one additional information. I'm just venting and frustrated and I hope maybe some Nairalanders can come to my aid. Additional information. I dont come from a rich family that has money sitting in the bank and its me and my own. We just bought a house on a 30 year mortgage so we pretty stuck with paying the debt for 30 years but I don't know how I'd live here for 30 years. Just looking for someone with experience to share ideas with since I have no one. I feel stuck. Please no insults

NurseSnowToYou:
May I ask what is the usual treatment for depression or mental health issues in Nigeria? I was just reading an article about migrant returnees that were trying to get to Europe but were sent back home and now felt ostracized and suicidal. IOM and the Nigerian govt said they'd be offering psychosocial support and it just made me curious as Im a Psych Nurse Practitioner in the US, how these things are handled there? Appreciate it!

Helpout12345:
Depression is not very common in Nigeria as it's in America. Reasons

1. Our lifestyle is void of loneliness like western countries.

2. We have sun 12 months of the year. No dark cold months where we will be lacking vitamin D

3. More family and friends supports available to us.

4. We consume natural foods and not processed and chemicalized foods that cause alot of health problems including mental health issues.

Sometimes people in Nigeria that are suffering from poverty think they are suffering from depression.

Kaczynski:
Very wrong Almost 9 in 10 nigerians are going through some mental health crisis and we cope with it by drinking 3-4 bottles of alchol, constantly going to church and over feeding ourselves.

12inchess:
I'm surprised this thread is still moving. Also I'm a bit better now and less depressed. But I still feel doom and gloom once in a while. I have started attending a Nigerian church again but the thing just looks so ceremonial to me. Dancing and Thanksgiving and collecting tithes and offerings is all the Nigerian church seem to be interested in. I still think I need to take time off work but with the few leave days I get here I don't know how that will be possible. Anyway keep me in your prayers, I guess. I also kind of stopped the antidepressants since they were not really doing anything for me.

12inchess:
Can you take a leave of absence from a new job. I've been there for less than a year and just passed my probation period of 6 months.

12inchess:
➜I'm surprised this thread is still moving. Also I'm a bit better now and less depressed. But I still feel doom and gloom once in a while. I have started attending a Nigerian church again but the thing just looks so ceremonial to me. Dancing and Thanksgiving and collecting tithes and offerings is all the Nigerian church seem to be interested in. I still think I need to take time off work but with the few leave days I get here I don't know how that will be possible.
➜ Anyway keep me in your prayers, I guess.
➜ I also kind of stopped the antidepressants since they were not really doing anything for me.

franchasofficia:
You don't have a problem if your major problem is missing Nigeria. Just board a flight and go back to Nigeria to enjoy the wonderful Nigerian nation.


You have lived in the US for 8 years, you didn't buy landed properties in Nigeria, you didn't build any commercial building, you didn't make any meaningful investment back in Nigeria, you just stayed put in the US and next you went and married, next you went and bought a house on a low paid job according to you. What does your wife do?


You didn't consider change of career to a more promising career in the tech or IT or medicine to enable you earn more, take care of yourself more and invest more in Nigeria for a stress free retirement.


My brother you already made lots of mistakes and correcting them now won't be easy. You already entered into a house mortgage, just be managing it like that and plan visits to Nigeria during Christmas to unwind and relax.


How some of you guys travel abroad and abandon your childhood friends, forget to invest back in Nigeria beats my imagination. I still communicate and flex with all my school mates. In fact last December was a loud one for all us. We gathered from different countries of the world in Southeast to enjoy our lives. From US, Canada, Switzerland, UK, Germany, Japan, Singapore, Angola, China, SK, Lagos, Abuja, PHC, etc. We all are doing greatly and have always been in contact with each other despite the distance. We talk on phones often for years now. When one buy land or house at a good location he encourage others to come closer and those that have cash at that time follow suit. We have been together and it's been amazing but some of you once you leave Nigeria you distance yourself from all friends cos you believe they are doomed forever since they couldn't migrate same time u did.


Nigeria as bad as it is is still a fertile ground for investment. Being abroad should give you an edge to raise startup capital faster to join in the Nigerian investment boom. Some lands I bought few years ago have appreciated by x5, some x10 to my amazement. I wished I bought like 5 hectares of land, by now I will be planning my retirement at 40.

If you can correct things, try by working towards investing back in Nigeria.



You can reconnect back with your university mates back in Nigeria if you weren't snubby and arrogant to them when you left Nigeria thinking they will all die poor and wretched. Because I am sure most of them now are doing exceedingly well beyond what you may have thought when you left Nigeria, that's always the case.

12inchess:
➜You just made all sort of assumptions. I never for once mentioned to you that I'm not doing well financially. You just assumed that I'm proud without knowing me.

Kobojunkie:
Have you been able to take a vacation from your life and responsibilities since you first created this thread?

12inchess:
No!

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated. My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve. I wish I could hustle harder but my health is not allowing me to. I feel also very sad and lonely living in the U.S as it's only me and my wife and I dont really have any friends. Everyone here always mind their business and its tough building any meaningful relationships. I have toyed with the idea of moving back to Nigeria in my head since America has not been all I hoped it will be for me but my wife does not want to and she quickly reminds me of the employment suitation in Nigeria and how it is me that made her come here in the first place. She kind of prefers it here. We have no kids yet so that is one additional information. I'm just venting and frustrated and I hope maybe some Nairalanders can come to my aid. Additional information. I dont come from a rich family that has money sitting in the bank and its me and my own. We just bought a house on a 30 year mortgage so we pretty stuck with paying the debt for 30 years but I don't know how I'd live here for 30 years. Just looking for someone with experience to share ideas with since I have no one. I feel stuck. Please no insults

Kobojunkie:
A recent comment on tiktok by A Nigerian therapists claims that indeed about 90% of Nigerians carry around with them unresolved trauma from at least their childhood.

WantsandMore:
→you say this as if it's exclusive to Nigeria whereas it's a human nature.

Kobojunkie:
As if? Is this not a forum focused exclusively on Nigerian and Nigerians culture? 🤔

WantsandMore:
but your tone is biased

12inchess:
I'm surprised this thread is still moving. Also I'm a bit better now and less depressed. But I still feel doom and gloom once in a while. I have started attending a Nigerian church again but the thing just looks so ceremonial to me. Dancing and Thanksgiving and collecting tithes and offerings is all the Nigerian church seem to be interested in. I still think I need to take time off work but with the few leave days I get here I don't know how that will be possible. Anyway keep me in your prayers, I guess. I also kind of stopped the antidepressants since they were not really doing anything for me.

Gggjhhj:
You fit dae call me for phone dae pay me 10dollar a day, u go dae alright

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated. My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve. I wish I could hustle harder but my health is not allowing me to. I feel also very sad and lonely living in the U.S as it's only me and my wife and I dont really have any friends. Everyone here always mind their business and its tough building any meaningful relationships. I have toyed with the idea of moving back to Nigeria in my head since America has not been all I hoped it will be for me but my wife does not want to and she quickly reminds me of the employment suitation in Nigeria and how it is me that made her come here in the first place. She kind of prefers it here. We have no kids yet so that is one additional information. I'm just venting and frustrated and I hope maybe some Nairalanders can come to my aid. Additional information. I dont come from a rich family that has money sitting in the bank and its me and my own. We just bought a house on a 30 year mortgage so we pretty stuck with paying the debt for 30 years but I don't know how I'd live here for 30 years. Just looking for someone with experience to share ideas with since I have no one. I feel stuck. Please no insults