₦airaland Forum

JAPA: Pastor and wife end their 11 years marriage after three kids and three year in the UK

So Pastor and Pastor Mrs have officially gone their separate way in the UK. 💔

Three years abroad vs eleven years of marriage and three kids. 😟

What is it about the UK that makes marriages crumble quicker than the Naira under this administration?

The UK japa wave has silently destroyed countless marriages.
Many marriages would have been better off staying back in Nigeria.

We read these heartbreaking stories online and think they’re exaggerated until it happens to someone close.

The call I just received now broke me💔

They courted for four solid years, yet the marriage broke down due to irreconcilable differences in just eight months.

What exactly were they doing throughout those four years of courtship?

Sincerely I want to know.

Source

If marriage is not working,better to separate
Nothing like have your mental health intact

Good luck to both of them

Patiently waiting for the input of Kobojunkie

The laws in the UK makes it very easy to leave a marriage.

I can absolutely guarantee that he has made his wife an "independent" woman. Only dependence keep them in marriage, unfortunately!

Wealthyonos:
The laws in the UK makes it very easy to leave a marriage.

The laws in Nigeria also do the same. No be general tradition in Nigeria say if a man gets tired of a woman, all he needs to do is send her packing? The problem is that religion and society make it harder for women to walk out of marriages in Nigeria.

lol but Divorce happens every single day in Nigeria as well. More than people even know. Sometimes you wonder where the love that made them marry in the first place even went especially the kind of evidence and things they say about themselves in court. I am certain that more women in Nigeria would leave their husbands if they were economically independent.

EmperorIsaac:
I can absolutely guarantee that he has made his wife an "independent" woman. Only dependence keep them in marriage, unfortunately!

Endurance formulae of marriage only works on women with devastatingly low levels of self esteem -- mental illness ---- than on women who women who know and see themselves as the same species as their husband.

dollyjoy:
lol but Divorce happens every single day in Nigeria as well. More than people even know. Sometimes you wonder where the love that made them marry in the first place even went especially the kind of evidence and things they say about themselves in court. I am certain that more women in Nigeria would leave their husbands if they were economically independent.

That na why financial abuse of women in marriage is basically a core part of the marriage system in Nigeria. Even in the Nigerian courts too.

dollyjoy:
lol but Divorce happens every single day in Nigeria as well. More than people even know. Sometimes you wonder where the love that made them marry in the first place even went especially the kind of evidence and things they say about themselves in court. I am certain that more women in Nigeria would leave their husbands if they were economically independent.

Marriage based on emotions are doomed to fail.


Most women find it hard divorcing their husband for the sake of their kids even they are financially capable

Chilipepper:
JAPA: Pastor and wife end their 11 years marriage after three kids and three year in the UK

Pastor and wife no get name?

This guy probably uses ChatGPT to concoct these fake stories

UK empowers women to end their marriages...for UK the longevity of ur marriage na ur wife hand..d day she tire e Don finish

Blitzking:
UK empowers women to end their marriages...for UK the longevity of ur marriage na ur wife hand..d day she tire e Don finish

That's pretty much the same thing in Nigeria. Your beloved endurance marriages in Nigeria are powered by women tolerating bullsheet and unmentionables every single day.

They probably had issues in Nigeria.

More are breaking as we speak. And more will break next year.
These days men are really reconsidering the trap called "marriage"

Chilipepper:
JAPA: Pastor and wife end their 11 years marriage after three kids and three year in the UK






Source

The African mentality and tradition about marriage, can never work in an environment of western tradition and mentality. They will need to unlearn, learn and relearn the new ways.

okomile:
If marriage is not working,better to separate
Nothing like have your mental health intact

Good luck to both of them

the problem nowadays is not mental health.

People are plain lazy at working out their problems.

Rather than sit down and talk things and look for ways to solve issues. They want to prove point that they can do without you.

It's a toxic thing we've done to ourselves.

Being a pastor with 3kids in UK does not make you immune from Divorce.

Woman will always be woman. They can never change

Kobojunkie:
The laws in Nigeria also do same. No be general tradition for Nigeria say if a man gets tired of a woman, all he needs is to send her packing? Problem is religion and society makes it harder for me women to walk out of marriages in Nigeria.

so what keeps the Nigerian man in marriage despite the laws favoring him divorcing and yet can't keep the Nigerian woman in the UK once the law favours her divorce?

People plan for success but forget to plan for failure as well. Failure is an integral part of success.

Thats what happens when women taste power, the power of being the favoured gender.

Omalicious1:
The African mentality and tradition about marriage, can never work in an environment of western tradition and mentality. They will need to unlearn, learn and relearn the new ways.

no.

It's not the african idea of marriage. It's the toxic nature the women over there have built where they rather walk out instead of figuring things out when issues comes up.

I say this because, the white people over there are facing the same high divorce rate.

So much so that they are 1. Leaving their women behind and going to Asia as passport bros to get married

2. There are numerous podcasts blowing up encouraging the men not to get married.

So, your theory of African men mentality causing the problem does not hold water.

The problem is uncontrolled freedom one partner has over the other. And that uncontrolled partner is the female.

Hence they end up filing for divorce at any slightest provocation.

They know they will always win.

When you know you'll alway win in a game regardless of how you play, you stop working on yourself. You ignore redflags. You don't care about the algorithm no more. Even when a woman cheats, she will still win in court. Get the kids and child support while takin over the house you built.

How exactly do you expect them to put in the energy to make the relationship work? When leaving you is more lucrative than staying?

This is the problem.

Wealthyonos:
The laws in the UK makes it very easy to leave a marriage.

There's no law in Nigeria that makes leaving marriages difficult.

I will never Invite my wife abroad. My children can come join me after completing secondary school.

Kobojunkie:
The laws in Nigeria also do same. No be general tradition for Nigeria say if a man gets tired of a woman, all he needs is to send her packing? Problem is religion and society makes it harder for me women to walk out of marriages in Nigeria.

Unbiased comment on this: commendable. I was expecting something different. lol

dollyjoy:
I am certain that more women in Nigeria would leave their husbands if they were economically independent.

and yet we turn around and blame the men.

Yet we all know women are the problem. Just as you pointed out.

When a man is economically stable, he wants to provide and protect his family.

But once a woman is stable, she wants out of the marriage.

So, how's that the fault of the man?

And then you hear them telling the man, "go for therapy", "take her more on dates" "do the dishes"

And all the other nōnsense.

Yet behind our mind we know exactly what the problem is: the selfish nature of a woman.

One that made her marry a man simply because he can provide more and not because she care about him.

This same selfish nature let her abandon her family as soon as she can provide for herself without a care about how the separation will affect the husband or her kids.

Then you hear things like: "do what makes you happy", "she's chasing her happiness"

A woman's happiness does not involve the happiness of her kids or husbands or the family.

Just hers.

This selfish nature is what every law in the UK favors. It's what every influencers focus on in the UK.

Once she gets there she's bombarded with a daily dose of "happing without a husband or kids or living on child support"

And suddenly divorce becomes a shining medal for her.

IF U WANT PEACE IN UK, JUST MARRY A WHITE WOMAN.



THEY WONT GIVE YOU THE KIND OF PROBLEMS WOMEN YOU CARRY OVER THERE WILL GIVE U.



A NIGERIAN WOMAN WANT TO BE WHITER THAN THE WHITE WOMAN IN HER OWN COUNTRY.



JUST RAISE YOUR VOICE AND SHE HAS CALL POLICE, E COME BE LIKE SAY SHE PLAN U.



FROM CULTURED TO FEMINIST NA HIM U GO SEE AND NOBDOY CAN SAVE U.

This same nonsense gist...!

Marriage that ends abroad likely already ended in Nigeria!

The only difference is that most women don't have the courage to call it quits in Naija due to cultural suppression of women and stigma attached to divorce by many of you religious yet hypocritical people.


In a society where laws actually protect women, you honestly can't expect these "long-suffering" women to continue in such unions.

okomile:
If marriage is not working,better to separate
Nothing like have your mental health intact

Good luck to both of them

Its funny how we have accepted failure as a mechanism for happiness.. if you fail a course in the university more than once, quit, university is not for you. If your child keeps doing the same thing wrong over again drive the child out, the child is not meant to stay with you.. women now wants freedom at the slightest discomfort. For every issue in marraige there is a foundational cause. People overlook that and expect things to be right by speaking enhlish. Oh how i have an idea of what a marraige is in my head, yet i cant practically live it. Even with all i have seen in marraige, i dont think its that hard. But let me tell you if no one has told you, one person is responsible for braking the marraige, the other person only agrees to the brakeup. Forget the lies that they both agreed to peacefuly part. If we would address issues truthful with a heart that is ready focused on God, marraife would last forever. Marraige is simple, some people just make it hard. My final take is that the devil definitely is responsible for the brakeup in marraige. Simple reason is this. The hardest issues can be settled as long as its not marraige. Once there is an issue in marraige, one of the couple would harden thier heart over nothing and the other just accepts. No one would die in marraige if the idea of brakeup is not there in the first place. Its better not to marry than to marry and brakeup.