₦airaland Forum

Dotherightthing:
Exactly!!!

The black men is at the very bottom of the totem pole once he's out of Africa. Infact he is rated less than an animal.

I pity black men abroad.

The white man would do anything to destroy the black man ultimately

Most of those western laws also disenfranchise white men, far more often than black men

nairalanda1:
Most of those western laws also disenfranchise white men, far more often than black men

Naaahhhh

The white man is at the very top of the totem pole.

Dotherightthing:
Naaahhhh

The white man is at the very top of the totem pole.

You should read accounts of white men whose stories in divorce and how they suffered make for very interesting reading

To the point that a political pressure group was formed in the UK representing such men for example.

Idaytesj29:
➜Yeah but these women got nothing in return from their spouses right?

Well, list some of the tangible benefits of traditional marriage to the woman.

nairalanda1:
You should read accounts of white men whose stories in divorce and how they suffered make for very interesting reading

To the point that a political pressure group was formed in the UK representing such men for example.

That's strange!

ZUBY77:
That's what it is everywhere in the World. The moment women begin to make money, forget it.
Before you take your wife to UK, US, Canada and EU, mke sure toh have enough plan to leave her.

Hmmmmmm
What a bitter truth

NairaMaster1:
So being eing single guarantees sound mental health?

I believe it is single but foocking around that guarantees sound mental health to them

What we practice in Nigerian when it comes to marriage is practically different from other countries like UK.
I do not subscribe to the tot that UK breaks homes, UK only faces reality and they would not watch a man or a woman not playing its role in a marriage unlike what you have in Nigeria where everybody minds their businesses including the government until someone dies in the marriage before it becomes everyone's business. That aside.
In my opinion, a marriage from Nigeria survives in UK because it has "good foundation" not just on money or feelings. If you as a pastor are not responsible (looking after your kids, sorting house chores, etc) and you can not afford the services in UK and you want same wife to go out to work and do same thing she used to do in Naija, you may not last 1year.
Many of men my age would not like our daughters to be treated the way our mothers were treated in Nigeria, so why go to UK and expect to treat a woman the way you dont want your daughters to be treated. Ko le work...remain in Naija and enslave your woman...best of luck to us all

Kobojunkie:
The laws in Nigeria also do the same. No be general tradition in Nigeria say if a man gets tired of a woman, all he needs to do is send her packing? The problem is that religion and society make it harder for women to walk out of marriages in Nigeria.

dis woman like to twist word, i blame people always arguing with u

Kobojunkie:
The laws in Nigeria also do the same. No be general tradition in Nigeria say if a man gets tired of a woman, all he needs to do is send her packing? The problem is that religion and society make it harder for women to walk out of marriages in Nigeria.

How Is The Inability For A Woman To Leave Marriage In Nigeria "A Problem" ?

MartinCorridon:
This guy probably uses ChatGPT to concoct these fake stories

Face reality!!! Marriages are not tenable in the UK for any manly man.

nairalanda1:
You should read accounts of white men whose stories in divorce and how they suffered make for very interesting reading

To the point that a political pressure group was formed in the UK representing such men for example.

For Your Information:

"Nobody Is White."

"Nobody Is Black" Too.

Everyone Is Different Shades Of Brown.

InsteadOf:
➜How Is The Inability For A Woman To Leave Marriage In Nigeria "A Problem" ?

No human being should hang on tightly to that which serves them only misery and heartache and nothing of individual happiness and fulfilment.

Host78:
no.

It's not the african idea of marriage. It's the toxic nature the women over there have built where they rather walk out instead of figuring things out when issues comes up.

I say this because, the white people over there are facing the same high divorce rate.

So much so that they are 1. Leaving their women behind and going to Asia as passport bros to get married

2. There are numerous podcasts blowing up encouraging the men not to get married.

So, your theory of African men mentality causing the problem does not hold water.

The problem is uncontrolled freedom one partner has over the other. And that uncontrolled partner is the female.

Hence they end up filing for divorce at any slightest provocation.

They know they will always win.

When you know you'll alway win in a game regardless of how you play, you stop working on yourself. You ignore redflags. You don't care about the algorithm no more.

This is the problem.

This is the crux of the matter.

Any man who gets married under the current tradition (the law, environment, and today’s female orientation inclusive) is a big FOOL. He has absolutely nothing to gain.

Kobojunkie:
Wrong! No human being with a healthy sense of self would ever subject themselves to unnecessary suffering that benefits another human at ones own detriment. Individuals with healthy self esteem value their mental health, peace, and joy above all else. 🤔

Also a healthy sense of self is not about how one "carries one self " -- as you are typically taught in Africa, but rather about how one generally values one's worth and desires against those of others. That African notion most Africans confuse with self-esteem is more or less a performative set of behaviors that people put up for others to see.

great essay! However, it does not discredit my opinion.

Exceed15:
I will never Invite my wife abroad. My children can come join me after completing secondary school.

Please don’t bring her abroad. Let her go and apply and collect visa, and travel independently in her own name.

naturefellow:
great essay! However, it does not discredit my opinion.

It does! But I doubt you care you see it!

Kobojunkie:
It does! But I doubt you care you see it!

Low self-esteem is not the only reason people stay in abusive situations. Critically consider other possible factors, before you publicly attack opposing perspectives. You'd get to learn new things too

Stolen:
IF U WANT PEACE IN UK, JUST MARRY A WHITE WOMAN.



THEY WONT GIVE YOU THE KIND OF PROBLEMS WOMEN YOU CARRY OVER THERE WILL GIVE U.



A NIGERIAN WOMAN WANT TO BE WHITER THAN THE WHITE WOMAN IN HER OWN COUNTRY.



JUST RAISE YOUR VOICE AND SHE HAS CALL POLICE, E COME BE LIKE SAY SHE PLAN U.



FROM CULTURED TO FEMINIST NA HIM U GO SEE AND NOBDOY CAN SAVE U.

Why are you advocating for any man to get married at all in the UK?

It’s better and peaceful to stay single. Marriage is antithesimal to any manly man in the UK.

ibedun:
➜This is the crux of the matter. Any man who gets married under the current tradition (the law, environment, and today’s female orientation inclusive) is a big FOOL. He has absolutely nothing to gain.

Traditional marriage — more or less a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship masked as marriage— benefits men and not women. In the case of dissolution, the woman cannot claim anything from the union, and most men would rather abandon the children along with the woman when that is done. All this while the man gains access to a woman(her body) and her emotional, mental, and physical labor for next to free for the rest of her life, if he chooses to keep her.

naturefellow:
➜Low self-esteem is not the only reason people stay in abusive situations. Critically consider other possible factors, before you publicly attack opposing perspectives. You'd get to learn new things too

I never suggested that low self-esteem is the only reason why individuals remain in abusive situations. I unequivocally stated, however, that no individual out there — woman or man — with a healthy self-esteem would remain or cling to such a relationship.

Kobojunkie:
Traditional marriage — more or less a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship masked as marriage— benefits men and not women. In the case of dissolution, the woman cannot claim anything from the union, and most men would rather abandon the children along with the woman when that is done. All this while the man gains access to a woman(her body) and her emotional, mental, and physical labor for next to free for the rest of her life, if he chooses to keep her.

The emboldened is just pure nature. As we all know nature can be quite brutal.

In today’s climate there is absolutely no reason for any man to “enter” a marriage. It serves him NO purpose. I guess humanity is starting to evolve beyond marriage and that’s ok. Afterall the global population is heading towards unsustainability.

ibedun:
➜The emboldened is just pure nature. As we all know nature can be quite brutal.
In today’s climate there is absolutely no reason for any man to “enter” a marriage. It serves him NO purpose. I guess humanity is starting to evolve beyond marriage and that’s ok. Afterall the global population is heading towards unsustainability.

Bullsheet! Does a man come married to a woman from his mother's womb?

I am not in the mood for the meaningless rants today. Try your luck another day, abeg!

ibedun:
Please don’t bring her abroad. Let her go and apply and collect visa, and travel independently in her own name.

Exactly, let her work for it

okomile:
If marriage is not working,better to separate
Nothing like have your mental health intact

Good luck to both of them

stop encouraging wickedness online.The Holy Bible of God does not support divorce except on ground of adultery. Marriage is a vow before God that must be kept till death sir

greypencils:
If She was independent and they were still in Nigeria, they will still be married.

Independent married woman and Nigeria in the same sentence? I doubt it!

ccollins:
✓ stop encouraging wickedness online.The Holy Bible of God does not support divorce except on ground of adultery. Marriage is a vow before God that must be kept till death sir

So, all of the wickedness and abuse people endure in these marriages are sanctioned by your god? Basically,what you are saying is that your holy god sanctions wickedness that is carried out in marriages by one partner or the other? 🤐🤐🤐

MartinCorridon:
This guy probably uses ChatGPT to concoct these fake stories

That's what Nigerians are using AI for

Oyibo use religion do good and bad. E reach Nigeria, na only bad bad things we use am do

Now oyibo dey use AI design travel maps, self driving cars, improve agriculture... we dey use am concoct fake stories for hip up cream and pénis enlargement

ZUBY77:
That's what it is everywhere in the World. The moment women begin to make money, forget it.
Before you take your wife to UK, US, Canada and EU, make sure you have enough plan to leave her.

Whether in Nigeria, abroad or in space, what I will not tolerate from a woman, I will not tolerate. I make that clear from day 1. They test me at first, but eventually fall in line. I'm far, very far from being a simp (by the grace of God).

dollyjoy:
lol but Divorce happens every single day in Nigeria as well. More than people even know. Sometimes you wonder where the love that made them marry in the first place even went especially the kind of evidence and things they say about themselves in court. I am certain that more women in Nigeria would leave their husbands if they were economically independent.

The main issue is that the woman now make as much money as the man in the UK, yet still want man to chest all the bills

dollyjoy:
lol but Divorce happens every single day in Nigeria as well. More than people even know. Sometimes you wonder where the love that made them marry in the first place even went especially the kind of evidence and things they say about themselves in court. I am certain that more women in Nigeria would leave their husbands if they were economically independent.

You think it's financial independence that make women divorce in US, UK...

I don't think so, I think it is because divorce benefit women.

If there is no benefit for women in divorce and a level playing field for both parties...

U go see d level of divorce reduce..