₦airaland Forum

InsteadOf:
For Your Information:

"Nobody Is White."

"Nobody Is Black" Too.

Everyone Is Different Shades Of Brown.

I agree with white, but abeg, try go east africa...you go see proper black skin

EmperorIsaac:
Whether in Nigeria, abroad or in space, what I will not tolerate from a woman, I will not tolerate. I make that clear from day 1. They test me at first, but eventually fall in line. I'm far, very far from being a simp (by the grace of God).

Of course you are right, but in UK and US, you will become wrong without knowing. So just be prepared, build yourswlf and make enough money, that will be your shield.

Host78:
no.

It's not the african idea of marriage. It's the toxic nature the women over there have built where they rather walk out instead of figuring things out when issues comes up.

I say this because, the white people over there are facing the same high divorce rate.

So much so that they are 1. Leaving their women behind and going to Asia as passport bros to get married

2. There are numerous podcasts blowing up encouraging the men not to get married.

So, your theory of African men mentality causing the problem does not hold water.

The problem is uncontrolled freedom one partner has over the other. And that uncontrolled partner is the female.

Hence they end up filing for divorce at any slightest provocation.

They know they will always win.

When you know you'll alway win in a game regardless of how you play, you stop working on yourself. You ignore redflags. You don't care about the algorithm no more.

This is the problem.

I believe that makes up the western culture and tradition I was talking about. Let's not forget the definition of culture and tradition

Kobojunkie:
Well, list some of the tangible benefits of traditional marriage to the woman.

Well, same rhetorical question can be asked by men who are husbands too, you know?

EmperorIsaac:
Independent married woman and Nigeria in the same sentence? I doubt it!

My wife earns more than 10 times what I earn. We are still married, 7 years and counting.
We won't be if we were outside Nigeria based on the quarrels we have had. This is where religion comes in. In a godless land like the UK, anything goes.

Kobojunkie:
The free benefits that a man gains from being married. For the average married Nigerian man, marriage provides him with his personal housemaid/chef/nanny/sex-worker/laundry woman/therapist/assistant/house manager, etc.— all of this out of a woman desperate to cling to the Mrs badge from which she finds her worth — all at a cost that is next to free when compared to the market value. It is not easy to give all of that up, even when he has sidechicks who he knows can leave him at the drop of a kobo.

I think that's a big assumption on your party.

Most men run their homes/apartment effectively and efficiently before bringing home any woman.

Most men live fairly comfortably, no need for therapy, housemaid or a sex worker before they got married.

In fact, they have no reason to get married because they were already getting the sex and whatever "imaginary" benefits you think they are getting from the woman before the marriage.

Instead, they wanna build a family and this is why they always get married.

The woman on the other hand is not so much interested in this family in most cases. All she want is to cling to a man for survival.

This I say is almost 90% of the cases.

Hence once they get a little money, the family is no longer their problem. Instead they want out because they want "happiness"

For someone who is not happy but staying in the marriage shows her happiness is hinged ontop the resources and not love for the man

I

Host78:
I think that's a big assumption on your party.

Most men run their homes/apartment effectively and efficiently before bringing home any woman.

Most men live fairly comfortably, no need for therapy, housemaid or a sex worker before they got married.

In fact, they have no reason to get married because they were already getting the sex and whatever "imaginary" benefits you think they are getting from the woman before the marriage.

Instead, they wanna build a family and this is why they always get married.

The woman on the other hand is not so much interested in this family in most cases. All she want is to cling to a man for survival.

This I say is almost 90% of the cases.

Hence once they get a little money, the family is no longer their problem. Instead they want out because they want "happiness"

For someone who is not happy but staying in the marriage shows her happiness is hinged ontop the resources and not love for the man

I agree. Its man's inherent nature to want a family he can provide and protect. I hate this narrative of feminists that make the man out to be the bad party in a marriage. Not all marriages end because the man treated his wife like a slave. Most men had a good thing going as bachelors until they got married to women who later divorced under the guise of mental health and peace. Truth is women keep raising expectations and building lofty images in their head on how their marriage should be. The grass is not always greener after divorce. They tried marriage and failed woefully. No amount of TikTok videos to brag about their newfound freedom will change that. What did you think those wedding vows were for? Bad men are out there as well as bad women. Marriage is hard work. Its not designed to be about rainbow'filled skies and singing birds. Its a nest to perpetuate the human race. Its designed to protect the wealth of a family within its bloodline. The Bible doesn't even have a romantic marriage story. If you signed up for it, it better be for the right reasons and not a poverty alleviation scheme.

greypencils:
My wife earns more than 10 times what I earn. We are still married, 7 years and counting.
We won't be if we were outside Nigeria based on the quarrels we have had. This is where religion comes in. In a godless land like the UK, anything goes.

Well, I'm not down-playing your experience. I would really hope to scrutinize the "why" to come to a definite conclusion. However, if she is submissive and respects you as a wife should under your current economic condition, I would classify your case as the outlier of regular patterns. It is also possible that you have decided to revise "roles", in order to maintain the peace and sustain your family's order. A man should lean towards whatever works for him.

Wealthyonos:
The laws in the UK makes it very easy to leave a marriage.

That's not exactly it. It's the feminism wave rather.

Most Nigerian women marry for reasons other than love. The moment they get financially emancipated, they are done!

This is why I pity men who play "odogwu" to jobless women.

funsho75:
➜You think it's financial independence that make women divorce in US, UK... I don't think so, I think it is because divorce benefit women. If there is no benefit for women in divorce and a level playing field for both parties... U go see d level of divorce reduce..

Well, yes, there is also freedom from offering her labor for free to a man who financially abuses her is one of the potential benefits of divorce for many Nigerian women in the UK. It is not so much that they gain anything from the divorce in terms of property or alimony, but that by freeing themselves from that former vain labor, they could offer up that same labor elsewhere and receive a lot better compensation at the end of the day for it.

EmperorIsaac:
Well, I'm not down-playing your experience. I would really hope to scrutinize the "why" to come to a definite conclusion. However, if she is submissive and respects you as a wife should under your current economic condition, I would classify your case as the outlier of regular patterns. It is also possible that you have decided to revise "roles", in order to maintain the peace and sustain your family's order. A man should lean towards whatever works for him.

It is indeed the outlier because a lot of emotional intelligence come into play on my part. Yet you can't help but think, laws and an army of feminists wait to upturn families in the western world making women put themselves first above family, above their own children and above their spouses. It might look irrational on my part to think I would be divorced outside the country but I have witnessed the most loving relationships break down for the flimsiest excuses once the women cross the borders into western countries, excuses not tenable here in Nigeria. Little things like telling your woman not to wear a particular outfit, I do that sometimes. Will She obey such a request if we were outside Nigeria? I doubt it. It is termed controlling behavior by the atmosphere within westernized borders.

greypencils:
➜My wife earns more than 10 times what I earn. We are still married, 7 years and counting.
We won't be if we were outside Nigeria based on the quarrels we have had. This is where religion comes in. In a godless land like the UK, anything goes.

The people who literally gave you religion as part of a slave package are godless, while you, the brainwashed slave, are god-ful, abi? You know your marriage is hanging on a thread that will break the moment you both step onto saner shores because of the many quarrels you both have had, and somehow, that it is because you are godlier than the UK?

Kobojunkie:
The people who literally gave you religion as part of a slave package are godless, while you, the brainwashed slave, are god-ful, abi? You know your marriage is hanging on a thread that will break the moment you both step onto saner shores because of the many quarrels you both have had, and somehow, that it is because you are godlier than the UK?

I have got no issues to discuss with you.

greypencils:
I have got no issues to discuss with you.

Awon godlier-than-the-masters-who-brought-the-religion-they-are-now-addicted-to. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Awon godlier than their masters who brought them the religion they are addicted to. 🥱🥱🥱

Goodnight already

greypencils:
It is indeed the outlier because a lot of emotional intelligence come into play on my part. Yet you can't help but think, laws and an army of feminists wait to upturn families in the western world making women put themselves first above family, above their own children and above their spouses. It might look irrational on my part to think I would be divorced outside the country but I have witnessed the most loving relationships break down for the flimsiest excuses once the women cross the borders into western countries, excuses not tenable here in Nigeria. Little things like telling your woman not to wear a particular outfit, I do that sometimes. Will She obey such a request if we were outside Nigeria? I doubt it. It is termed controlling behavior by the atmosphere within westernized borders.

I see your point...and I agree with you.

EmperorIsaac:
I can absolutely guarantee that he has made his wife an "independent" woman. Only dependence keep them in marriage, unfortunately!

Going abroad is a problem, either alone or with your wife. You suddenly open her eyes like Eve and she hits you back with her true colors. African culture values marriage and chastity. Foreign culture disrespect marriage.

Never disenfranchise a White man to the benefit of a black man in a white man's country?. May be in another world. A man is at the bottom of the food chain.

nairalanda1:
Most of those western laws also disenfranchise white men, far more often than black men

Kobojunkie:
The laws in Nigeria also do the same. No be general tradition in Nigeria say if a man gets tired of a woman, all he needs to do is send her packing? The problem is that religion and society make it harder for women to walk out of marriages in Nigeria.

what is hard there
Na woman laziness not any society
If she's not a leech she can leave anytime unlike in the west where the govt takes half the man's salary and subsidize the woman
Who no like awoof
But don't worry
Hakimi philosophy will soon catch on them you will see women revert back to their rightful place

Kobojunkie:
Endurance formulae of marriage only works on women with devastatingly low levels of self esteem -- mental illness ---- than on women who women who know and see themselves as the same species as their husband.

lies
Women only divorce cos Western gifts subsidize them with half the man's money but now they panicking as men not playing that game no more

Blitzking:
UK empowers women to end their marriages...for UK the longevity of ur marriage na ur wife hand..d day she tire e Don finish

na lie
Na your hand
But weak men want soft life so they choose slavery

EmperorIsaac:
I can absolutely guarantee that he has made his wife an "independent" woman. Only dependence keep them in marriage, unfortunately!

Everything that has disadvantages also have advantages for instance you can fall sick or loose ur job and ur financially independent wife will eventually comes to ur rescue.

Mrexcell:
Everything that has disadvantages also have advantages for instance you can fall sick or loose ur job and ur financially independent wife will eventually comes to ur rescue.

Your conclusion is not always true. Your siblings, neighbors or church members and friends may come in handy. She starts grumbling if it's extended.

okomile:
If marriage is not working,better to separate
Nothing like have your mental health intact

Good luck to both of them

Marriage and mental health that was OK, until they relocated? Are you sure it is not the location they should change?

Uncle Charlie Na your mate?

EDGEof2MORO:
I agree with white, but abeg, try go east africa...you go see proper black skin

It's Called "Dark Brown" And There Are Different shades of Browns And Dark Browns.

InsteadOf:
It's Called "Dark Brown" And There Are Different shades of Browns And Dark Browns.

And there is black skin. Proper black skin.

If a man is suppressing his wife ... disrespectful to her ...cheating on her.... and treats her like a child .... slapping her around .....should he migrate with his family he should know what to expect.