₦airaland Forum

All the comments here ,no one lay emphasis on consistent exercise.What is happening to many of us? Nothing comes closer to longevity than exercises.Some old people have money but can barely walk.

Careente7:
Even if you’re not rich, just make sure sure you’re comfortable. Have money so you can move around. Don’t just be at home always (you’ll only become a victim of stories like this), join clubs, societies. Travel (that’s why the money is necessary), interact and don’t feel like anyone owes you. You’re just another man going through life don’t life go through you. Your wife and children don’t owe you much (I would have said ‘anything’) but you owe your self a lot.
You made a decision to reproduce, now make the decision not to be lonely.


No comment; next question

Kalatium:
There’s a man in my neighborhood whose story has stayed with me.

Years ago, his home was a hub of life. Teenagers everywhere. Music blasting. Laughter spilling into the street. Young boys full of promise, respect, and energy. A mother holding the center. A family in motion.

Fast forward to today and the house is silent.

One son is gone. Another has relocated. The wife and daughters have moved on. What remains is a man sitting alone behind a gate, cooking for himself, washing his own clothes, watching the days pass without the noise that once defined his life.

This is a reality we rarely discuss.

We talk about career growth. We talk about wealth. We talk about legacy.

But we almost never talk about male loneliness in old age.

For many men, life slowly narrows: Children grow up. Homes empty out. Visits reduce. Attention fades.

Mothers are remembered, celebrated, visited with gifts and affection. Fathers, too often, are left behind quietly enduring, saying little, asking for nothing, but feeling everything.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness.

Sons: Your father may not say much. He may act distant or grumpy. But he wants connection too. He wants to feel seen.

Daughters: Celebrate your fathers, not just on special days, but in ordinary moments. Presence matters more than presents.

Fathers: Be kind to your wives. Be warm with your children. Emotional deposits made today compound in old age.

Because here’s the uncomfortable truth: No promotion, no achievement, no title prepares a man for an empty house.

Old age doesn’t arrive suddenly, it creeps in quietly.

And how we love, show up, and stay connected today determines whether later years feel full… or painfully hollow.

This is not just a family issue. It’s a societal one.

Let’s do better while there’s still time.

Make a lot of money.. that solves the loneliness

That's not enough.You should able to walk,jog, squat,stand by yourself even at old age.That is why exercise is very important and not necessarily a huge sum of money.

66uvie:
Make sure you have money or you are financially comfortable at old age.

Every market day, same topic, followed by whining from men who have fathers. Then advice on marrying multiple wives. Still trying to put emotional and retirement labour on women. Same women you don't benefit anything from marrying. Rather than implore yourselves to take care of your fathers. In my house, the only person showing my father shege is his fellow man (his ONLY son). But no, let's blame feminism, mothers and menstraution.

Mtcheeeeew!

This is the sweetest thread I have read today. It has thought me alot. Myself first

jiggyman:
Lol this happens to you when you have nothing goiing on in your life.

Before I got married, I lived alone, cooked my food, did my laundry, etc why is it an issue at age 60?

Well this happens to be an issue in africa because an average African man wants submissive wife, kids etc. So why they pass the age of submission, his life becomes miserable and boring.

We will check up on you later, paddy
Oyinbos that this has become their culture still feel lonely.

You need a proper health and not necessarily alot of money.What is happening to all us men? Every one is talking only about money for longevity.The true elixir of life is a consistent exercise and this does not require much money.

Trymeee:
Truth is their is nothing in marriage for an average man. Maybe to help the woman raise the kids. How do I mean, most kids sees and takes care of their mums before the dad's (if at all the dad) I will always tell most married men I see to invest into their future and not make any child or wife their plans or hope for happiness. Marry as much wives if it makes you happy Las Las, one of them will always be there.

This same topic every market day
You are a father, you chose to be emotionally distant from your children. They asked your support severally and you declined. You lived a reckless life while you were young then in your old age you start crying loneliness, your eyes go see shege.
As a man, love your wife, do the best you can for your children. They'd always ( i mean always) come through for you.
All these 'children love their mothers more' talk is just mere gaslighting

maasoap:
I enjoyed your unbiased contribution. I'm for polygamy but if it doesn't work out, I'm equally open to adoption. I have been thinking about the two in recent time. I want kids in my house for as long as I can train and handle them

This is exactly one of the things that I preach. Most of our people simply can't think outside the box.

Adoption is underrated. Most of our people forget that adoption is official and unofficial. My parent's house till today is loaded with children & young adults. We grew up having all sorts of people in the house at one point or the other. When we left, our parents never stopped bringing in one or two to live with them. It's a generational culture.

Tendd:
You need a proper health and not necessarily alot of money.What is happening to all us men? Every one is talking only about money for longevity.The true elixir of life is a consistent exercise and this does not require much money.

Good point.

Host78:
One thing I've come to understand is all men eventually realize this.

Some wey dey carry their mama for head go later realise say them go dey the same situation as their father one day.

Every hustle for mama is sweet to type.

Until all your own children start typing and showing the same thing.

Every guy complaining here neglected their own father's, are neglecting their father's or planning to.

Until their children start doing the same thing.

Your wife or sister will give birth and instead of nanny, you'll carry your mother, leaving your father all alone.

Your mother will spend not 1 month, not 2 or 3 but might stay one or two years doing omugwo and you don't care how your father is faring.

Men by all means are the enablers of their fathers loneliness and neglect in old age.

And they don't care until they understand that they will be in the same position later in life.

And it won't matter how much you loved your wife or the kids.

See young guys today. All they say is "the hustle is for mama"

And they don't bother to think "how will my own kids say or behave any different?"

The family is not for men until young men start reflecting on their behaviors.

At least one person is truthful. Men are the greatest enablers of mother-worship. But na them cry pass about fathers neglect. People that 8 out of 10 have poor relationship with their fathers. Father's day, they don't know. Their father's fav thing or activity, they don't know. They just wait for topics like this to cry. Then go back to ignoring their fathers.

My father is extremely lucky he has more girls and he loves those girls.

Kobojunkie:
Log off of Nairaland and delete your account to grant yourself your desire. It's your job to protect your peace & mental health by yourself, not mine. 🥱🥱

No mind am. I can't stand people like that Trymeee guy.

I am surprised many male nairalanders are even blaming the men thank God many of you be man too and you go old I pray you no go jam manipulate wives and seriously seun needs to do something about this spam bot that will just be banning people anyhow if not your forum members will reduce drastically imagine one can't express herself again even when your comment had no insults you will be banned!

Back to the topic I am a woman and I wonder how a Dad whose job description doesn't permit him closing before 7 will bond with the kids on weekdays if not only on weekend my mum was a retired teacher later became a principal who closes by 2:30 to 3 at times while my dad a lecturer and sometimes Hod closes by 6 and even after that organises meetings and seminars too so who will have time to bond with the kids more if the job description were reversed won't it be our dad who will bond with us more? still doesn't make my mom not loving us too especially as my mum also have holidays which will make her available to the kids more compared to my dad who even in his 8 years of lecturing I didn't think he had sabbatical more than 3 times and that was to further his studies

It's the job of a good wife to still impart in the kids that despite their dads job schedule doesn't allow him have enough time doesn't mean he isn't still caring for them more kids value things that are physical to them even though it's minute and perishable than more important things that will last more and will better their future my mom buys clothes and shoes for us yet we we will appreciate it more and even complained that my dad don't do this for us my mom will then caution us that so our dad who pays our school fees,buy books,take us for medical care ,and buys foodstuffs don't also care for us?or are they not even more important than shoes and clothes that will fade and tear and that we should always appreciate him the more also but you know some other wife's will never correct their kids and let them assume their father isn't loving or caring to them?
I am a mom now also and I understand better I take care of both my parents even my dad more because I understood his sacrifices for us.

even when he started living with an hereditary delibitating illness which exhausted him and was later involuntarily retired,was owed his pension and arrears for few years before he was paid and my mum became the sole breadwinner she never made it known that all the tuition fees and materials she bought for us while in the higher institutions didn't come from my dad, even though we knew the reality then never did she rub it on his face or let it potray to her own family.
my mum could never leave her husby and travel for a week even when we had grown up and could cook she could never travel then more than a week probably because they are destined for each other when my brother wanted to name his son in Ibadan and my mum was invited both my parents couldn't go because of dads health and he couldn't drive his car at a long distance again I even thought my mum will stay like 3 weeks to familiarize with the baby mbah o after 6 days she ran back to ekiti though her in-law (my brothers wife mum) was there too despite she knew I and our last born was with my dad then: we were keeping him company and still taking care of him we were even old enough to be married too then oo

my mum will warn us that if any of us is abroad and wants her to come visit or live permanently she isn't going without her husband but many of our nowadays mother's can never do that how can you abandon your man at old age to go live with your kids?if I use the correct word now bot will ban me and it isn't as if it's because she was my dad's only wife even that was how her grandmother whom she took after her character was she was loving,loyal,and devoted till the end and she wasnt her great grandpa's only wife.
society isn't fair on men so I prefer they even marry more than a wife at least all of them won't neglect him for the kids at old age

I pray my son marries someone who will love him unconditionally as my mom loves my dad so also should you nairaland men pray to marry a woman like my mum who is also wise may you not jam a manipulative,unfeeling,self centered woman who will render all your sacrifices on your kids as a waste!!

Exceed15:
Only foolish children neglect their fathers. Fathers give sacrificially without emotional stories. Mothers raise children to make them feel they love them more than their father.

Sad reality. More common than imagined

Bottom line : Men, that proprieties you are saving for children, sell one of them to give yourself a good treat because your children may likely forget you

Na so o, I love this. I go give myself nice treats and sure investments that bring cool cash monthly as I dey age

That's why as I'm here now, what ever I'm doing, I'm doing for my old age o.

My children have their life to live, me I still get my own to live too

Shikena:
This is exactly one of the things that I preach. Most of our people simply can't think outside the box.

Adoption is underrated. Most of our people forget that adoption is official and unofficial. My parent's house till today is loaded with children & young adults. We grew up having all sorts of people in the house at one point or the other. When we left, our parents never stopped bringing in one or two to live with them. It's a generational culture.

This is it. It doesn't have to be our biological children, we just need people around to keep our company. If your wife "doesn't allow" you to marry another wife or you don't like the idea, she shouldn't also prevent you from adopting kids either formally or informally

Trymeee:
Truth is their is nothing in marriage for an average man. Maybe to help the woman raise the kids. How do I mean, most kids sees and takes care of their mums before the dad's (if at all the dad) I will always tell most married men I see to invest into their future and not make any child or wife their plans or hope for happiness. Marry as much wives if it makes you happy Las Las, one of them will always be there.

Marrying more wives will only increase your financial burden, let's be realistic for once, if each wives gives you minimum of 2 children how do you plan to save for your future?

That's why you shouldn't be poor as a man. People want only one thing from men and it's money. If you have money people will always visit you but if you're a man, old and poor omo e go be for you ooh they'll even start saying you're a witch sef.

AirBay:
Very big issue in the African society. We survived alone as bachelor's, some even cooked the best meals, I wonder what went wrong.

Lol. The society turned them to women dependent. Of course, the potentials are there in the men because you see them adapting well in the university starting to cook noodles and egg. Gradually graduate to making sweet rice concoction (low budget jollof rice). And finally, they pick up " Oh God!". I hope you all know what "Oh God!" is.

But as soon as they graduate, start working, and married, it becomes a taboo to enter the kitchen. They cross their legs to watch TV after they return from work and later to the dining, and to bed. Lol.

B[quote author=maasoap post=137792333]Sad reality. More common than imagined



Na so o, I love this. I go give myself nice treats and sure investments that bring cool cash monthly as I dey age [/quote

U be wise man . U dey see future.

In all my plans for old age.....I did not include any plan to wait for any kids to fend for me.

First and foremost, I appreciate the writer for the awareness and I appreciate everyone of us for our contributions. My own take is whatever our age in life, we should not lack money. Once someone has money 99% of this problem is solved.

What do Nigerians really want? Today in churches people will be praying for long life. But here we are scaring men away from getting old as if being old is also a death sentence. I think we should stop this demonization of old age among men. At the end of the day everyone will die, including those we think have it better today.

ultraviolet27:
my mum will warn us that if any of us is abroad and wants her to come visit or live permanently she isn't going without her husband but many of our nowadays mother's can never do that how can you abandon your man at old age to go live with your kids?if I use the correct word now bot will ban me and it isn't as if it's because she was my dad's only wife even that was how her grandmother whom she took after her character was she was loving,loyal,and devoted till the end and she wasnt her great grandpa's only wife.

I pray my son marries someone who will love him unconditionally as my mom loves my dad so also should you nairaland men pray to marry a woman like my mum who is also wise may you not jam a manipulative,unfeeling,self centered woman who will render all your sacrifices on your kids as a waste!!

Many wives wouldn't think twice before jumping inside airplane

Can't relate. I and my siblings carry my parents like eggs and even when my mother traveled for a very long time and left my dad home alone, everyone took turns to check on him and ensure he never lacked anything. I want to believe that male loneliness in old age is as a result of the poor relationship those men have with their children because nobody will willfully neglect a loving dad who has made an impact in their lives.

Hmmm... I have been reading comments to see if someone actually notice the role women play in this.
Thank God you a single guy observed a part of it. Which is the wife of the man turning their backs to him intentionally and some are done unintentionally and all very subtle.
I have seen women tell children to say I love my mum because those children were saying I love my dad eventually it began to look wrong to say I love my dad and I love my mum was easier, more correct and simple.
Another side to this coin of point is the wife of the sons also fights to pitch the their husbands to forget their fathers.
Manipulation from mothers and Manipulation from wives are a factor that affects male children. While a mother can fight her way into her son's life through omugo visit and even fight the wife if need be but a father can't.
Finally don't assume this cannot happen to you. Prepare a plan for your future that ensures nothing like this ever happens to you .
Plan it now and pray about it too. Prayer does wonders you know

Trymeee:
Well said, I'm single and from most marriages I see, only 2percent of married men really enjoy that happiness, all they do Is lie to theirselves and the camera.


A woman can easily manipulate and dissuade the love of the kids from their father. This is supported by nature as an average man spend more time working than living. Reminded me a lady I met who had this bitter hatred for her dad. I asked if the man paid her fees, she said yes. I asked if he provides, she said yes.


Her excuse was mum said this mum said that. The man unbeknown is working his ass out for the so-called family not knowing the wife already poisoned the kids mind and he's only still tolerated because he's the provider. When he's weak and can't work again, they will ostracize him like the plague and epidemy they see him as.

As a man learn how to play PS now.
Make it part of your companion.
Learn a Game only you can play yet derive so much satisfaction

Ishilove:
Can't relate. I and my siblings carry my parents like eggs and even when my mother traveled for a very long time and left my dad home alone, everyone took turns to check on him and ensure he never lacked anything. I want to believe that male loneliness in old age is as a result of the poor relationship those men have with their children because nobody will willfully neglect a loving dad who has made an impact in their lives.

They don't want to hear this part. They will say the mother manipulated the kids. But when the kids are loving their father, no one says the mother manipulated them to love him. My mum came for omugwo and I did tell her to go back and stay with her husband. I am not married to her and I see no reason to live with her again, except on health grounds. Flip it and it is always guys fighting to live with their mothers in their matrimonial homes.

Amumaigwe:
You even have time to notice that bitter evening Newspaper. An Ignore serves her real good.

Bitter evening newspaper? Tell me what she will benefit in a marriage to someone like you? Im curious.

Well life has cycles. Plan for your old age. Love your spouse and treat her right so that she can reciprocate later. The kids would leave . Aim to raise a good child who would grow up to be a good person , who remembers his parents. But also understand they life gets quite hectic and as people disperse farther to make a living , chances of being forgotten is high. You can get every one’s buy-in , to gather at home during Easter or Xmas, so as to keep in touch.
Plan for your retirement - volunteer , change skill, save your money and of course keep worshipping God.
Plan for everything and expect anything . Live goes on till the last breath .

pocohantas:
They don't want to hear this part. They will say the mother manipulated the kids. But when the kids are loving their father, no one says the mother manipulated them to love him. My mum came for omugwo and I did tell her to go back and stay with her husband. I am not married to her and I see no reason to live with her again, except on health grounds. Flip it and it is always guys fighting to live with their mothers in their matrimonial homes.

Aunty, off mic 😂😂