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Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralRomanceRed Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? (25801 Views)

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Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by essentialone(m): 8:17pm On Dec 14, 2025
Diamond098454:
very well but I'm not really happy someone is planning to keep me in ph till 31st

I don't know what to do or say
But explain to the person that you really would not like to remain in PH till 31st December. I am pretty sure there person will understand.

If it was me, I will understand.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Diamond098454(f): 8:20pm On Dec 14, 2025
essentialone:
But explain to the person that you really would not like to remain in PH till 31st December. I am pretty sure there person will understand.

If it was me, I will understand.
no wahala , I'm still pleading.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by essentialone(m): 8:21pm On Dec 14, 2025
Diamond098454:
don't be too sure. Your gender are very stubborn
We cannot be all that bad. Are we?
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Diamond098454(f): 8:23pm On Dec 14, 2025
essentialone:
We cannot be all that bad. Are we?
no.



But stubborn and silent hmmmm
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Nobody: 8:56pm On Dec 14, 2025
Listening to internet advice will confuse you at a time you need clarity the most.

This is your life we're talking about. The biggest decision any man will ever make. This will either make you or break you.

I say, listen to you heart and follow your heart. It knows things you don't know, and it can see the future clearly.

Find a block of time...2 hours or more, in a very quiet place (a Catholic church is my favourite), sit down, close your eyes, and ask internally for the way forward, maritally.

Listen for the answer. It might take 2 hours, it might take 3. But you WILL get an answer.

You will gain clarity far beyond anything a thousand internet advisers can provide.

All the best bro

Chijeep:
Please help me(mature minds only)
After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl(Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.
Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.
Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.
So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship(because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected). So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy(because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process. And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.
NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.
Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by essentialone(m): 9:46pm On Dec 14, 2025
Diamond098454:
no.



But stubborn and silent hmmmm
Please, there is this situation I want your response on. Imagine a guy wants to marry. Every thing about the lady is ok. But ..... Her dad from Ebonyi State. He and his kinsmen eat human meat. No jokes. Real. But she grew with the mum in the city. But she sees nothing wrong in what they do, since it's their culture thing. But she does not eat human meat. This guy loves her a lot. Should he ignore these red flags and marry her?
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by ExudeLoveToAll: 10:46pm On Dec 14, 2025
Diamond098454:
Your insecurity is alarming and it's a sign of a weak man. You you you Mr tester hope you will pass when she test you in her own way?

You are not ready for marriage
Paternity fraud isn't a thing in your dictionary, when your sons get married they should marry street women that will give them children from different fathers because they are not insecure.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Diamond098454(f): 10:54pm On Dec 14, 2025
essentialone:
Please, there is this situation I want your response on. Imagine a guy wants to marry. Every thing about the lady is ok. But ..... Her dad from Ebonyi State. He and his kinsmen eat human meat. No jokes. Real. But she grew with the mum in the city. But she sees nothing wrong in what they do, since it's their culture thing. But she does not eat human meat. This guy loves her a lot. Should he ignore these red flags and marry her?
essential I don't know.... This is very critical
The guy should know better.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Diamond098454(f): 11:08pm On Dec 14, 2025
ExudeLoveToAll:
Paternity fraud isn't a thing in your dictionary, when your sons get married they should marry street women that will give them children from different fathers because they are not insecure.
you think he won't marry that Lady? From the way he sounds , that marriage is a done deal

Testing someone loyalty through social media doesn't worth it because even the guy will not pass it.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Diamond098454(f): 11:19pm On Dec 14, 2025
essentialone:
Please, there is this situation I want your response on. Imagine a guy wants to marry. Every thing about the lady is ok. But ..... Her dad from Ebonyi State. He and his kinsmen eat human meat. No jokes. Real. But she grew with the mum in the city. But she sees nothing wrong in what they do, since it's their culture thing. But she does not eat human meat. This guy loves her a lot. Should he ignore these red flags and marry her?
Essential I don't see any red flag🚩 because the lady in question doesn't eat human. She only said what she said because it's a culture which she will not change
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Smartguyboy(m): 12:49am On Dec 15, 2025
Chijeep:
Please help me(mature minds only)
After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl(Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.
Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.
Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.
So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship(because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected). So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy(because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process. And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.
NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.
Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.
You want to tie someone daughter down for good?
You haven’t engaged or married her yet so her options are still open , believe me %99.99 will fail the test .

If you want to test her loyalty marry or engage her then put her to the test .

Not when she’s not sure you will marry her or not .
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Smartguyboy(m): 12:52am On Dec 15, 2025
essentialone:
Please, there is this situation I want your response on. Imagine a guy wants to marry. Every thing about the lady is ok. But ..... Her dad from Ebonyi State. He and his kinsmen eat human meat. No jokes. Real. But she grew with the mum in the city. But she sees nothing wrong in what they do, since it's their culture thing. But she does not eat human meat. This guy loves her a lot. Should he ignore these red flags and marry her?
Saying her father kinsmen eat human meat is like saying ohafia people used to get human head .

It just an old story
No part of Ebonyi state eat human meat it even a crime for your information.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by essentialone(m): 1:18am On Dec 15, 2025
Smartguyboy:
Saying her father kinsmen eat human meat is like saying ohafia people used to get human head .

It just an old story
No part of Ebonyi state eat human meat it even a crime for your information.
You think so? So how sure are you about that?
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by tgmservice: 2:47am On Dec 15, 2025
Sonnobax15:
lipsrsealed
Can any man here boast of his girlfriend? angry. That she wouldn't fall for this ? Personally, I've tested my own once ,and she fell for it....... Exactly the same way that the op's girlfriend did to him....In fact,from that day,I lost a very huge percentage of my trust on her angry. And from that the same day,I swore never to trust any woman.

The truth is that, don't put your entire trust on any human,be it a man or a woman...
U sef go fail d test
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Helpout12345: 4:47am On Dec 15, 2025
Good test. Move on. And continue to test them oo. It's better you remain single than to marry someone that don't like you or that will not be loyal to you.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by toboizilla: 5:15am On Dec 15, 2025
This is not difficult,
Meeting people and making friends or socializing is human instinct. Even when you marry her doing that is not a bad thing. I have married women that are my friends as a single guy, we talk but nothing is involved.
Please move forward with your plans with her.
I think you are not handing this maturely.
As look as you never engage a woman, she is still in the market. I see no wrong in what she did
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by toboizilla: 5:16am On Dec 15, 2025
Chijeep:
Please help me(mature minds only)
After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl(Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.
Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.
Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.
So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship(because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected). So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy(because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process. And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.
NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.
Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.
Every woman is a work in progress, that’s why you are called the bridegroom.
Marry her and teach her
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Hypnotise: 5:19am On Dec 15, 2025
dollypi:
Listening to internet advice will confuse you at a time you need clarity the most.

This is your life we're talking about. The biggest decision any man will ever make. This will either make you or break you.

I say, listen to you heart and follow your heart. It knows things you don't know, and it can see the future clearly.

Find a block of time...2 hours or more, in a very quiet place (a Catholic church is my favourite), sit down, close your eyes, and ask internally for the way forward, maritally.

Listen for the answer. It might take 2 hours, it might take 3. But you WILL get an answer.

You will gain clarity far beyond anything a thousand internet advisers can provide.

All the best bro
This is what the Bible meant by seek the kingdom of heaven within. Not everytime, baba God abeg.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Hypnotise: 5:22am On Dec 15, 2025
@Op, if she can do this now, I.e lie and deny, in future, she will lie, deny and cheat on you. A woman who really loves you would own you and never deny your position in her life. Her loyalty is questionable.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Kobojunkie: 5:28am On Dec 15, 2025
toboizilla:
➜Every woman is a work in progress, that’s why you are called the bridegroom. Marry her and teach her
You people are not serious! 🥱🥱🥱🥱
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by michlins(m): 7:09am On Dec 15, 2025
Any woman with no bride price on her head should keep her cards open. You're still single until otherwise. This is how women miss out on their husbands because of immature boyfriends
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by ReacherSaidNoth: 8:07am On Dec 15, 2025
Look at all these losers justifying disloyal, unfaithful behavior because they're shitty people themselves undecided
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by AllBlack: 8:18am On Dec 15, 2025
Chijeep:
Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.
Who told you that you are ready?
You tested her and told her? You don't look like someone who can last 7 months in a marriage without spoiling it with your own hands. Better leave that babe with your immature antics.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by kiddaz: 9:56am On Dec 15, 2025
Diamond098454:
Your insecurity is alarming and it's a sign of a weak man. You you you Mr tester hope you will pass when she test you in her own way?

You are not ready for marriage
Learn to not comment all the time when your fingers itch to type. You keep giving the impression that you have nothing upstairs undecided
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by kiddaz: 9:58am On Dec 15, 2025
Chijeep:
Please help me(mature minds only)
After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl(Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.
Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.
Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.
So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship(because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected). So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy(because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process. And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.
NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.
Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.
Run far from that family. Let this sink into your head today. Every time your instinct suggests things to you on certain important life decisions, it's not your thoughts but a higher power directing you to what you must know in order to be safe.

Now that the light has exposed what's in darkness, do yourself a favour or forever remain ph00leesh... The mom is a pharmtool and is angry you aren't the client they had anticipated. Thank your God and keep looking for a partner closer to you. Only like 5% of girls can be loyal and out of this I really can't say the percentage of the ones who can be loyal in a LDR
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by CodeTemplarr: 11:01am On Dec 15, 2025
Sonnobax15:
lipsrsealed
Can any man here boast of his girlfriend? angry. That she wouldn't fall for this ? Personally, I've tested my own once ,and she fell for it....... Exactly the same way that the op's girlfriend did to him....In fact,from that day,I lost a very huge percentage of my trust on her angry. And from that the same day,I swore never to trust any woman.

The truth is that, don't put your entire trust on any human,be it a man or a woman...
can any girl here boast of her man too? The whole thing must balanced in both direction to make sense.

Emotional and mistrust now look like maturity.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Exceed15: 11:28am On Dec 15, 2025
I'd advice you end it and this is my reason: you will always suspect her in marriage even when she's innocent. Save yourself the headache.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by Exceed15: 11:28am On Dec 15, 2025
I'd advice you end it and this is my reason: you will always suspect her in marriage even when she's innocent. Save yourself the headache
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by bmd1010: 12:04pm On Dec 15, 2025
Chijeep:
Please help me(mature minds only)

After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl (Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.

Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.

Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.

So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship (because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected).

So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy (because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process.

And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.

NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.

Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.
U should have continue, pretended to b abroad n even send money once a while, u will see her altitude change quickly, dey play, forgive lol u never ready to settle.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by manuelkel(m): 12:05pm On Dec 15, 2025
SpencerForbes:
If you keep testing, I’m 100% sure you’ll never find a wife. Most Nigerian girls will fail loyalty test even with a ring on their finger. Just look for a woman that can train your kids and respect you. Once she’s given birth ensure you take care of the kids. Your purpose should be finding a good mother for your kids.
Exactly.
Re: Red Flag Discovery Gone Wrong. Should I Still Continue This Relationship? by cnonyechi(f): 12:06pm On Dec 15, 2025
Chijeep:
Please help me(mature minds only)

After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl (Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.

Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.

Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.

So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship (because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected).

So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy (because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process.

And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.

NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.

Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.
But she didn't lie. You haven't married her. After all men are known for making commitment promises only to marry someone else. The only time she will know u r serious is after paying her bride price. She did the right thing after all she told the fake u no sex.
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