₦airaland Forum

toboizilla:
This is not difficult,
Meeting people and making friends or socializing is human instinct. Even when you marry her doing that is not a bad thing. I have married women that are my friends as a single guy, we talk but nothing is involved.
Please move forward with your plans with her.
I think you are not handing this maturely.
As look as you never engage a woman, she is still in the market. I see no wrong in what she did

We're not in line of relationship or dating ooo.
My cousin helped me find her because she told her that I want to marry her and that's why she took me to her parent the first day we met.
And since then we've been making plans on the marriage so soon that I've even told my own dad about her

Such text is meant for married people not for someone in need to settle down
[quote author=Chijeep po
st=137791011]Please help me(mature minds only)

After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl (Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.

Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.

Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.

So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship (because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected).

So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy (because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process.

And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.

NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.

Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.[/quote]

Big RED flag. The wife I marry today never fell for any trap after I told her she was the one, she cut off whatever links and advances. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME.

Chijeep:
Please help me(mature minds only)

After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl (Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.

Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.

Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.

So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship (because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected).

So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy (because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process.

And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.

NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.

Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.

The biggest Red flag anyone can have is serially telling lies upon lies and no single truth in their mouth.

A liar can hurt u more than a cheater and all liars are cheaters or potential cheaters but all cheaters may not be liars.

Chijeep:
Please help me(mature minds only)

After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl (Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.

Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.

Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.

So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship (because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected).

So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy (because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process.

And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.

NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.

Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.

A big red flags here. She wants to used you as escape route niiii

Chijeep:
Please help me(mature minds only)

After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl (Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.

Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.

Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.

So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship (because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected).

So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy (because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process.

And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.

NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.

Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.

If you were tested too will you pass the test. As a guy I won't even consider testing anyone. I don't have to test you to make a decision. I can fall for test too as a guy so I won't make a judgement based on that.

Yu are not yet serious 4 marriage. Girls are like flowers, blossom in d morning and filtered in d evening. Yu went to her family house and made a mere talk , did u deposit something on her head that u are very much serious. D only time she is Ur prospective wife is when there is a serious commitment by u maybe traditionally. For now, u are d red flag cuz u hv trust issues and again, women are light goods display for sale in d market . So mere intention is not an evidence of purchase.....

Chijeep:
I was having some doubts about her loyalty because I'm not friendly with long distance relationship

. You want her to put all her eggs in one basket, you are a very wicked person. At least she never went to have sex with the fake friend, and she told him no sex until after marriage. What if you refuse to marry her later? Don't you know women have a time limit for marriage? At least you both just met, she should still be open, maybe she will see a better partner than you. You are very selfish.

Chijeep:
I only tried to be more precise. And besides, cousins are also gender wise right?
That's y I indicated it

Gender is he/she her/him, not sister/brother

Cousin is gender-neutral. Your male cousin is still called "cousin" just as your female cousin is without any adjectives or gender delimiters needed.

My personal opinion with over 40 years of experience is that you’re are the red flag yourself. From your write up, you’ve neither made any official introduction nor paid her bride price. So she is not your wife yet, she is not yet 100 percent certain that you’re going to marry her. Have both of you known your genotypes yet? The answer may still be no. Nothing wrong in her giving her number to anyone else until you’ve made that full commitment for you both being together as husband and wife. Swallow your pride and go for her. For her to even ask people to plead with you means that she acknowledged her mistake and taken full responsibility, which makes her to appear even more matured than yourself as per my own observation.

Neoteny:
Gender is he/she her/him, not sister/brother

Cousin is gender-neutral. Your male cousin is still called "cousin" just as your female cousin is without any adjectives or gender delimiters needed.

So if I wqnt to specify the type of cousin I'm talking about what will I say

ogaprime:
Ogbeni, how more red do you want the flag to be before you take reverse and run away?

Then you should remain single forever.

Stone123:
My personal opinion with over 40 years of experience is that you’re are the red flag yourself. From your write up, you’ve neither made any official introduction nor paid her bride price. So she is not your wife yet, she is not yet 100 percent certain that you’re going to marry her. Have both of you known your genotypes yet? The answer may still be no. Nothing wrong in her giving her number to anyone else until you’ve made that full commitment for you both being together as husband and wife. Swallow your pride and go for her. For her to even ask people to plead with you means that she acknowledged her mistake and taken full responsibility, which makes her to appear even more matured than yourself as per my own observation.

We've known our genotype.
She have introduced me to her mom and I've told her that my dad is notified already. And 3 of my Aunts have known her. So what else, I don't see any reason why she would deny the fast growing relationship

Chijeep:
Please help me(mature minds only)

After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl (Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.

Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.

Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.

So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship (because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected).

So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy (because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process.

And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.

NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.

Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.

For someone you’ve come to do introductory rites to say she’s not in a relationship, is more than a red flag. I will not advise you to continue with any plans you have, that’s my own opinion but you do you.

Edit* All these male monikers justifying her actions with he has not paid her bride price but will come wailing if their girlfriend cheats on them are funny. There’s something called being in a committed relationship with or without bride price and for crying out loud he has done the initial introduction.

YOU SHOULD HAVE TESTED HER AFTER YOU HAVE DONE THE TRADITIONAL WEDDING OR YOU HAVE SENT OUT INVITATION CARDS FOR THE WEDDING.

AT THE POINT YOU DID THE TEST EVERYTHING WAS STILL WORD OF MOUTH AND YOU COULD DISSAPOINT HER.

WOMEN SOMETIMES LIKE TO KEEP ALL OPTIONS OPEN.....THE FACT THAT SHE SAID NO SEX MAKES THIS LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE CASES

Shocked to see comments talking about plan B, not putting eggs in one basket or even worst, the ones saying all women or men will fail this test. Like, seriously? But why am I even surprised? Isn't this the same Nigerians who believe in the idea of "workchop?" Zero integrity, but somehow they want their leaders to be faithful and honest.

As for you OP, if you like, allow damaged, dishonest people to mislead you with all those insecurity talks. She denied your papa this one time. Just like Peter in the bible, there are at least two more times she is going to deny you. If you think cheating is only when your girlfriend is sending nudes or doing the do, then think again. And one last thing, let this be the last time you will ever seek advise from or report a woman to another woman.

Stone123:
My personal opinion with over 40 years of experience is that you’re are the red flag yourself. From your write up, you’ve neither made any official introduction nor paid her bride price. So she is not your wife yet, she is not yet 100 percent certain that you’re going to marry her. Have both of you known your genotypes yet? The answer may still be no. Nothing wrong in her giving her number to anyone else until you’ve made that full commitment for you both being together as husband and wife. Swallow your pride and go for her. For her to even ask people to plead with you means that she acknowledged her mistake and taken full responsibility, which makes her to appear even more matured than yourself as per my own observation.

What other introductions need to be done after the OP has officially gone to the see the lady’s mother in question?

I mean she clearly postured herself as not even being in a relationship. So it’s until her bride price is paid then she’s can commit to one person.

Any lady you haven't taken to alter is not yet yours so testing her loyalty by impersonation is just a waste of time.Lady's always get a backup guys b4 tying knot with their guy,because she too is doubting your loyalty.
[b][/b]
Meanwhile there are so many ways to catch unfaithful girls without any excuses your approach to test her is very very poor.

Run ooooooooo

Chijeep:
So if I wqnt to specify the type of cousin I'm talking about what will I say

My cousin. Somewhere along the line you'll likely say "she" or "her" in relation to some verb and her gender would become clear. It's all in the context of the narrative.

You could even say my female cousin if her gender is absolutely essential. But "cousin sister" is not right.

gunners160:
What kind of rubbish talk is this one. How is he a suitor? He is somebody who has made is intentions known and also gone ahead to show interest. Infact in most families, once you have introduced your guy to the family, you dont introduce them to any other guy again ( That is a functioning family). Is being faithful now a crime.

You sound like an arsenal fan.
Once you enter top 4, you assume you have won a title.
Btw, he made his intention to marry the lady known, that's what made him a suitor.
He hasn't even engaged her yet.
In a generation where men wake up and dump a lady, even days to their wedding, the "functioning family" thingy has become a dangerous gamble.
You will hardly find any lady rejecting other suitors simply because one guy somewhere has told her he wants to marry her.

gunners160:
What kind of rubbish talk is this one. How is he a suitor? He is somebody who has made is intentions known and also gone ahead to show interest. Infact in most families, once you have introduced your guy to the family, you dont introduce them to any other guy again ( That is a functioning family). Is being faithful now a crime.

Many people come from weird household with very low morals. I’m so shocked at the answers justifying what she did.

Dfather1:
I am 100% sure that my girl can not fall for this. She is too loyal

Test her loyalty bro..... I was having the same trust on mine before I tested her,and she fell for it.....
Tho i wouldn't want to advise you to do that, especially if you know you won't be able to stomach the result should it go the other way......

Don't trust that gender bro..

Chijeep:
Please help me(mature minds only)

After getting tired of the flaws discovered from most city girls I decided this mid-year to go my village to get a lady for marriage. And with the help of my cousin sister I was able to get this particular girl (Judith) and she agreed in the sense that she's also very much ready to settle down.

Everything was going perfectly so I decided to go and see her in person so that we can proceed to the next stage which I went and she introduced me to her mom.

Her mother's reaction showed that they both liked and welcomed me as a proposed inlaw. So we move on, and I came back to my Base to inform my dad and my dad didn't say No. And I let her know that everything is good at my own side too. That we're good to go.

So this faithful mind pressured me to test this girl's loyalty to me and the relationship (because atimes she used to say something like; guys use to approached her for marriage and she rejected).

So 1 day I used a fake fb account to chat her up and to cut the story short she said she's not in any relationship, nor married and she agreed to meet the other fake guy I used. She told the guy (because I asked if I could meet her people when I come) that they shouldn't rush things that it should be a gradual process.

And went ahead to send the guy her number and even her picture. But she told the guy that nothing like having s3x. And after there chat I confronted her myself saying that she failed my test and she fuvk up. Buh she started explaining but I was highly disappointed. And she went ahead to inform my cousin sister to apologise to me on her hehalf and also told her friend to chat me and apologise.

NOW MY COUSIN SISTER TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON WITH HER BUT HER MOTHER IS NOW GETTING ANGRY AT ME THAT I OVER ACTED TO THE ISSUE.

PLEASE IS IT NOT A RED FLAG ENOUGH TO QUIT OR GET ANGRY OR WAS MY TESTING NOT NECESSARY AS HER FRIEND WAS EVEN SAYING THAT; WHO'S TESTING GIRLS LOYALTY IN THIS AGE OF LIFE.

Please I need a nice answers because I'm very much ready to settle down.

She passed your test oga, in your absence she took step to protect her body in your interest, she always systematically create space for you by telling the other guy to let things run slowly whereas she didn't keep you waiting when you requested. Nothing is 100% guaranteed, the girl only gave the other guy a chance to be on the queue in case you misbehave and sorry to say, you are already misbehaving. I ve only visited her once and you expect her to lock everywhere for you, no na, you self talk am say she is ready to settle down, you want her to join the thousands of singles without hope of marriage out there?

Chijeep:
My cousin sister said I should forgive her.
And besides, she made it clear 2 the person that she don't want s3x

U don ever see girl wey go tell you say she want sex.....in norms na their way of forming saint be that.....
Even when they reach ur house com fvck...u will hear " I will son be going oooo....."I'm only spending 48mins....na u know wetin u go use than information do

She lied to the fake guy not you. I feel she just wanted to catch cruise and that is why she ask him not to rush and of course no sex. That is not a red but yellow ⛳
Go ahead she is not bad

wildcatter23:


I see absolutely nothing wrong with what the lady did. Infact you are the red flag!

Testing or tricking your fiance is born from a place of insecurity. Do you understand?

And the mother is correct. Why are you making a big deal out of nothing. If she is already married, I will be the first to come for her.

You are just in a relationship. So while at that, she is free to chat and explore her options. You too should be exploring your options.

Moreover, You haven't paid her dowry so she isn't yours yet. So you cannot claim double dating.

While you are looking out for yourself finding the right one, who said she can't look out for the right one for herself.

Guy, you see, a woman should exercise absolute prudence in picking a spouse.

If she chooses wrongly. She will spend her entire life ruing her choices. This is nothing new, expect you weren't experienced.

Heck, she told the fake you no sex.
So, why the fuss?

That's the best response you should be expecting.

As a woman or man, you should keep your options open.

It's up to you to take my advice or leave it.

This is the best comment up here!!!! She's not your wife for God's sake...

Firstly you guys weren't lovers, they match made you guys. So she's not really into you yet, she only want to settle down. So she's still keeping her option open cos you've not yet married her and you've not committed her in any way, you only made your intention known. You rushed it bro, you should've collected the marriage list and fixed the date you're coming to present those items on the marriage list. Then that would've been the right time to test her and if she fails, then you have every right to walk away. So forgive her, but don't rush things, get to know her much better before marriage.

My advice? Move on, you will never enjoy that marriage coz you will never trust her again.

Lastly, don't ever trust anyone, no one is 100% loyal to anyone

Sonnobax15:
Test her loyalty bro..... I was having the same trust on mine before I tested her,and she fell for it.....
Tho i wouldn't want to advise you to do that, especially if you know you won't be able to stomach the result should it go the other way......

Don't trust that gender bro..

I am very ready to test her loyalty, the only problem is how to go about it.

brain54:
Why did you test her if you can't take actions based on her test results...?


After testing her you are still coming to ask for advice. You should have a marking scheme and the test should have decided if she passed or failed. So you take a decision based on that.


Now you are asking us again...are you testing us?

Welcome bro, you have concluded the metter