Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse - Family (3) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse (12107 Views)
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by Diamond098454(f): 9:34am On Dec 22, 2025 |
Dogalmighty17:Hahaha hahaha you are very very funny |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by IbrahimSola: 9:36am On Dec 22, 2025 |
Father4all:I agree. Even the women know that they set standards for men they don't like. If you see when a woman likes a man, what they call standard disappears all of a sudden. As a single man those years, I came to that conclusion. You see women that you probably hitherto considered way out of your league throwing caution in the air, dropping anything that shd be called standard, irrespective of religious standards, ethnic or social status, just to pursue you. And then when you consider that some of these people were already married while some were in very serious relationships, I wondered whether there's anything called standard. I'm not saying this to spite women, men also do the same, irrespective of social or religious standing. HUMANS (MEN, AND ESP WOMEN) ONLY SET STANDARDS FR THOSE THEY DON'T LIKE. Argue with yourself if you don't like my post. I'm telling you what you already know. |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 9:40am On Dec 22, 2025 |
DMCA:Because you are not permanently useless, and because I know you have potential. If you were permanently useless I wouldn't even have bothered being with you in the first place, and this discussion would not be happening. |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 9:42am On Dec 22, 2025 |
MasterTeeUSA:Yes, indeed it should. You shouldn't want to mount me if I were not pleasing you outside the bedroom, like if I rude to you and didn't keep a clean house and body and mind. |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by AZControversial: 9:43am On Dec 22, 2025 |
dahunsi12:Many of them are just opportunists. After being saved from singlehood, they now want to call the shots as they please..... |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 9:45am On Dec 22, 2025 |
Jman06:I'd add nice considerate you to my reverse harem if I were polyandrous! |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by Diamond098454(f): 9:46am On Dec 22, 2025 |
Married men should do the right thing You can't be tormenting your wife and expect her to have feelings for you it's not done Am too erotic in nature and if you are not romantic as a man it won't work for both of us Some men don't know how to treat a woman As a man or a husband what you dish out to your wife is what you get in return |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 9:47am On Dec 22, 2025 |
Eagleways:I wonder what makes you think I'd respect anyone who can't respect me.
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| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 9:58am On Dec 22, 2025 |
Winterhaven:I did read the article. Its a very nice article that I mostly agree with, and is why its not quoted so my response is not assumed to contradict it. The below is from the article. Read it and reread my response in that context while considering both parties are rational beings, and not that I'm just a selfish brainless woman, as some of my quotees have assumed, who ignorantly married a brainless selfish man, which is not my case. Marriage operates on shared access, shared duty, and shared care. When one partner unilaterally shuts down a core pillar of the relationship without justification, the system breaks down. |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 10:05am On Dec 22, 2025 |
Teymanhenry:Please, go out to mount another woman, I'm not that concerned if that's your prefered solution to a night of mount withholding. Just know you sound no different to a child who throws tantrums because mummy didn't give you sweets. And keep your money too. My parents trained me well enough so I can earn even more than you can dream of.
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| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 10:15am On Dec 22, 2025 |
omooba969:This is where our society makes huge mistakes. It presumes gender roles and expects humans to fit in those roles like we are programed mindless beings, when the truth is, we live in an ever changing world where roles are not set in stone. What would you expect my role to be, I wonder, when I'm home from the company I CEO because my parents invested loads in educating me so I can stand on my own two feet? What sort of man do you think I'd be withholding mounting from and why? And what do you think he'd do if I withhold mounting from him?
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| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by ITspeed: 10:31am On Dec 22, 2025 |
This matter is very very dicey. Marriage without sex is not marriage anymore. Lets just face it. The women think they are in control all the time, well that is not the case even though the have some amount of control which is permitted or allowed by the man. Religiously speaking it is wrong for a woman or a man to with hold their bodies from each other. The holy books says it that a wise woman maketh her home!!!!! Sex has a whole lot of role it plays in fixing issues in marriage and when it is used as a tool of weapon then it make having a peaceful and smooth and understanding marriage difficult. Lets just tell ourselves the truth. No man will be okay when sex is denied him and even if he goes out to get it any day and anytime, that denial from his own will still affect him and affect the home and same goes to the woman. Understanding and respect cannot be ruled out at all but again diplomacy and maturity is key too. |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by drsibz66(m): 10:34am On Dec 22, 2025 |
budaatum:The real advice is learn how to comprehend before giving an opionion The truth is you didnt read to understand the write up. You also dont understand what marriage should be. No human can ALWAYS be pleased with another human.There are always going to be times when you wont be happy with your partner, spouse or husband.. but resorting to withholding sex is an abuse. In those times communication and resettlement should be the goal not refusing sex as the has rightly said. Its like saying the man when he is not pleased with his wife ,therefore has the right to withdraw his responsibility to his family. PEACE |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by drsibz66(m): 10:41am On Dec 22, 2025 |
Kobojunkie: |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 10:53am On Dec 22, 2025 |
drsibz66:Is mounting your main issue when either of us is not pleased with the other? Man, will you let me mount you when you are not pleased with me? Wouldn't we both want to mount each other and enjoy the mounting if we first resolve whatever it is that makes either of us withhold mounting? Do you really love and care and respect me if we do not first resolve whatever it is that makes you want to mount when I am withholding? And do you sincerely think you are in a healthy worthwhile marriage if I let you mount when I am displeased with you? drsibz66:You have already withdrawn your responsibility to your family when you show no concern for the member of your family you want to mount without finding out why said family member is withholding! And to be honest, I must ask myself why I married immature you to whom mounting means more to than whether I'm pleased or not. I can just about imagine your mounting too. You'd climb on top of me and grunt a couple of times and come and be done in 5 minutes with no concern or consideration for my own coming or enjoyment. Trust me husband, when I say I'd rather give you money to go mount olosho just so I can have peace!
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| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by drsibz66(m): 11:04am On Dec 22, 2025 |
budaatum:You are either a bitter person , hiding under the delusion of strong woman or you lack basic reading and comprehension skills. WHY... BECAUSE YOU LEFT OUT THE PART OF THE WRITE UP WHERE I SAID IN TIMES ISSUES... COMMUNICATION AND RESETTLEMENT SHOULD BE THE GOAL AND NOT REFUSING SEX OR WITHHOLDING RESPONSIBITY.. And you still come here to ask same questions. |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by ROK123(f): 12:46pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
When you treat your woman well, she will never have any excuse to ignore you when you need her, except she never loved you! No be by I paid for everything ![]() |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by Mckraz01: 2:08pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
Dpsychologist:It's also criminality |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by MKPUOGALIGA: 2:19pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
budaatum:Why get married if you are not ready. This issue of denying your husband s3x has ruined marriages. |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by eulogised: 3:39pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
Dpsychologist:You're wise. And from the comments I'm reading here, I'm never giving my daughter's hand in marriage to just any man, I hope he's a whole human being whose fully formed mentally, physically, and so on. Very important because some of these comments are shocking |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by Kobojunkie: 4:09pm On Dec 22, 2025*. Modified: 6:06pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
drsibz66:. Thinking a woman's body is there to serve your sexual pleasure is disrespectful,if you don't know this already, I suggest overhauling your mindset.🥱🥱🥱 |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by Nnamdipapa(m): 5:58pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
budaatum:The same goes the other way, you constantly make me angry, and if you want sex, I have advised her to get a Love Machine as I am never having a conjugal congress when not happy with you. Never! |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by drsibz66(m): 6:15pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:So where was that written in my write up. Or you also control my thoughts.. your gender ,assumptions and manipulations are 5 &6 . You just bring out a statement from anywhere and start dwelling on it.. What part of my statement portrays and says a womans body is meant to serve mens sexual pleasure. You are irredeemable ... Do what suits you cos you devoid of any reality or rational thoughts. |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by Kobojunkie: 6:21pm On Dec 22, 2025*. Modified: 7:12pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
drsibz66:Stop arguing like an Odi! Marriage does not guarantee you sex, means you need to do your part to get your partner to consent to having sex with you, even in marriage. Go one corner, go chew on that, and allow people who already have their brains churning at effective capacity to continue the discussion already! 🥱🥱🥱 |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 7:10pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
drsibz66:Sir, I did not miss out anything, and perhaps it's you who is seeking for disagreement or can not read to see when you are agreed with and when you are not. For I'm very certain, or I at least hope, that we will not be mounting each until we have communicated and settled our issues. Or will you enjoy mounting me when I'm unhappy with you or you are unhappy with me? If we do what you call "COMMUNICATION AND RESETTLEMENT", which indeed "SHOULD BE THE GOAL", there would be no need for either of us to withhold mounting each other. After all, COMMUNICATION AND RESETTLEMENT will resolve whatever issues we might have, so why would I, after we've communicated, which involves you hearing my grievance and placating me and me honouring you, then still withhold mounting when our mounting should be the crowning acceptance of each other? |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 7:17pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
Nnamdipapa:Yes, it indeed does the go other way too. You will not love me nor likely want to mount me if I make you angry. And I better please you if I want mounting from you, or go get myself a Love Machine if that satisfies me more than you can. If you didn't have potential, and hadn't pleased me or I hadn't pleased you before, we wouldn't even have married in the very first place, and mounting each other would never be considered. |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by Kobojunkie: 7:23pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
Nnamdipapa:She gets a lovemachine, while you get yourself a sidechick? Abeg, declare that marriage an open marriage or you two should divorce already! 😑😑😑 |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 7:42pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
joseph1832:No, the only reason why I'd want my husband to mount me, is not only when I am pleased with him, though I definitely will not be mounted when he makes me unhappy. I want to mount my husband because he is the man I love and married, which I did because he is kind and respectful and loving and caring and considerate, and I want to show him I care for him and love him in return. After all, another word for mounting is to make love to each other in a caring loving relationship. And in fact, when I don't want to be mounted, he will understand and wait until I am ready, because he is not some selfish pig who thinks of his own enjoyment alone, or I wouldn't have married pig in the first place. |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by budaatum: 7:48pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
MKPUOGALIGA:I am ready, and that's why I married him in the first place. And I want to remain married to him and raise the child we have and even have more, which means mounting. But if one night of refusing to let myself be mounted by him is what results in marriage being ruined, then so be it and good riddance. Because, if it wasn't this instance of mounting refusal that broke our marriage, it would likely be something equally as immature on his part, and I should quickly accept I made a bad choice and move on instead of letting him destroy me by turninh me in to his mountee on tap. |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by Nnamdipapa(m): 10:01pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:I have discussed the option of a divorce which I am very much in favour but as an uber religious person, she is vehemently against a divorce and would not hear of it. I may have to run away to Uganda or Kenya one of these days. lol |
| Re: Withholding Intimacy In Marriage Is Abuse by Nnamdipapa(m): 10:03pm On Dec 22, 2025 |
budaatum:You have a good point and I totally agree with you. I stop mounting when I stop loving you. |
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