₦airaland Forum

My Story: Part One
Hi everyone, I am new here. I have been so hurt lately and didn’t know who to talk to, which is why I am here to share my story. Please, I really don’t need advice because I actually know the right thing to do; I am just blinded by love.

Back to my story: I met my husband five years ago on Facebook. We exchanged contacts and he came to visit me at home. I loved him the moment I saw him. I wanted to visit him, but he told me not to because he was living in a one-room apartment. I still agreed to visit him anyway. To cut a long story short, he finally showed me his place and we started dating, which of course was nice. I loved him wholeheartedly. I was still in school then and gave him the little I could. I don’t want to mention everything I did for him, but I tried; I did the best I could for him, just as he did the best he could for me, even though there was no money.

We were so close. We went to the market together, cooked together, bathed together—we did literally everything together. He was actually nice to me and kept telling me I was the best woman he had ever seen. He said that once he had money, he would marry me immediately. We kept hoping and praying for things to get better. Then came the abortions and everything else, which, by the way, I am not proud of.

After two years of dating, things started getting better. He told me that once he bought his first house, we would get married. I kept praying, and by God’s grace, he did it. I asked him when we were getting married, and he told me he wanted to acquire a second house so we would be receiving rent. I said okay, which eventually he did.

After some time, I got pregnant again. I asked him what the way forward was, since he already had two houses and I was already pregnant. I told him I couldn’t terminate it because I had already had too many abortions. He told me he wasn't ready for marriage. I asked, "But you said you were going to marry me after buying your second house?" Mind you, he didn’t say he didn’t want to marry me; he only said he wasn't ready and that my character was bad. I asked since when my character had been an issue, but I still pleaded with him not to put me to shame, promising that I would change my character.

After many conversations, he agreed to do only a traditional marriage. This actually made me angry and we quarreled a lot about it because I had always dreamt of having a white wedding. However, because of the love I have for him, I agreed. Later on, he went to meet my mom to tell her I was pregnant and that we wanted to get married. About a month later, my mom suggested, "Why not do the full wedding altogether?" He came back to me and said he had accepted to do the white wedding, provided I behaved myself. I said "no problem" and was very excited.

During the wedding preparations, he started behaving strangely. We went to the registry, and my husband asked the registry official if I would share his property if we got a divorce. I was so embarrassed that day. On our way home, I told him I didn’t want his property—that I was marrying him because I loved him, not because of his assets. He made me swear an oath not to fight for his property if we divorced. I agreed because I loved him so much and just wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

One week before the wedding, my husband went in search of a church without telling me. He found a church and told me we wouldn't be getting married at the secretariat anymore because he had found a church. I asked, "But it’s our wedding, why didn't you tell me?" This led to a quarrel, so I just kept quiet. I had to go and change the venue from the secretariat to the church on the wedding cards. He promised the pastor that we would be attending that church after the wedding.

On the day of our traditional marriage, my husband caused a scene and threatened to cancel the wedding. His siblings and mine had an issue, and he joined his siblings in insulting my family. That was when I knew he didn't love me and that I had messed up big time, because a man who loves you will never embarrass you like that. Please don't judge me; I am just in love.

The next day he was angry and said my family would not pick up money at our wedding. Correct me if I’m wrong, but traditionally, the bride's family is supposed to pick up the money. However, I didn’t say anything. I told my siblings not to go near the money. The people he put in charge of the money ended up stealing it. When we got to our hotel room that evening, I said, "Now they have stolen your money since you refused to let my family pick it." I told him it served him right.

He started beating me. He stood on top of the bed and was stomping on me, even though I was pregnant. He told me that after spending so much money to marry me, I was mocking him. He went out, but later came back in crying and begging me not to tell anyone because his brother and friends were coming over. I stood up and sat on the bed. They came and sat in our hotel room for hours. Like two people who just got married, his friends and brother just stayed and gossiped; he even fell asleep. I was the one who eventually told them I wanted to sleep before they finally left, but I didn't say a word to him.

The next morning, I started bleeding, probably because of the beating. We went to the hospital. Upon returning, I told my friend to bring food for me. My husband went downstairs, and I could hear him discussing my family and what happened at our traditional marriage with his friends. I called him into the room and told him that it was enough—that he shouldn't be telling people everything. He started shouting, which led to an argument. He was very angry and said he was going to go collect his dowry back. Out of anger, I told him to go and collect it. He got even angrier and said he wasn't doing this anymore because I challenged him.

I started feeling pains and was rushed to the hospital again. When I arrived, his friend had already taken him to rent another hotel room. I kept begging and calling my husband. I called his brother to help me beg him. I begged for a long time before he finally came back.

It is getting too long; I’ll do a part two.

Nice story. I’ll really love to read the part two.

Newgirl206:
My Story: Part One
Hi everyone, I am new here. I have been so hurt lately and didn’t know who to talk to, which is why I am here to share my story. Please, I really don’t need advice because I actually know the right thing to do; I am just blinded by love.

Back to my story: I met my husband five years ago on Facebook. We exchanged contacts and he came to visit me at home. I loved him the moment I saw him. I wanted to visit him, but he told me not to because he was living in a one-room apartment. I still agreed to visit him anyway. To cut a long story short, he finally showed me his place and we started dating, which of course was nice. I loved him wholeheartedly. I was still in school then and gave him the little I could. I don’t want to mention everything I did for him, but I tried; I did the best I could for him, just as he did the best he could for me, even though there was no money.

We were so close. We went to the market together, cooked together, bathed together—we did literally everything together. He was actually nice to me and kept telling me I was the best woman he had ever seen. He said that once he had money, he would marry me immediately. We kept hoping and praying for things to get better. Then came the abortions and everything else, which, by the way, I am not proud of.

After two years of dating, things started getting better. He told me that once he bought his first house, we would get married. I kept praying, and by God’s grace, he did it. I asked him when we were getting married, and he told me he wanted to acquire a second house so we would be receiving rent. I said okay, which eventually he did.

After some time, I got pregnant again. I asked him what the way forward was, since he already had two houses and I was already pregnant. I told him I couldn’t terminate it because I had already had too many abortions. He told me he wasn't ready for marriage. I asked, "But you said you were going to marry me after buying your second house?" Mind you, he didn’t say he didn’t want to marry me; he only said he wasn't ready and that my character was bad. I asked since when my character had been an issue, but I still pleaded with him not to put me to shame, promising that I would change my character.

After many conversations, he agreed to do only a traditional marriage. This actually made me angry and we quarreled a lot about it because I had always dreamt of having a white wedding. However, because of the love I have for him, I agreed. Later on, he went to meet my mom to tell her I was pregnant and that we wanted to get married. About a month later, my mom suggested, "Why not do the full wedding altogether?" He came back to me and said he had accepted to do the white wedding, provided I behaved myself. I said "no problem" and was very excited.

During the wedding preparations, he started behaving strangely. We went to the registry, and my husband asked the registry official if I would share his property if we got a divorce. I was so embarrassed that day. On our way home, I told him I didn’t want his property—that I was marrying him because I loved him, not because of his assets. He made me swear an oath not to fight for his property if we divorced. I agreed because I loved him so much and just wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

One week before the wedding, my husband went in search of a church without telling me. He found a church and told me we wouldn't be getting married at the secretariat anymore because he had found a church. I asked, "But it’s our wedding, why didn't you tell me?" This led to a quarrel, so I just kept quiet. I had to go and change the venue from the secretariat to the church on the wedding cards. He promised the pastor that we would be attending that church after the wedding.

On the day of our traditional marriage, my husband caused a scene and threatened to cancel the wedding. His siblings and mine had an issue, and he joined his siblings in insulting my family. That was when I knew he didn't love me and that I had messed up big time, because a man who loves you will never embarrass you like that. Please don't judge me; I am just in love.

The next day he was angry and said my family would not pick up money at our wedding. Correct me if I’m wrong, but traditionally, the bride's family is supposed to pick up the money. However, I didn’t say anything. I told my siblings not to go near the money. The people he put in charge of the money ended up stealing it. When we got to our hotel room that evening, I said, "Now they have stolen your money since you refused to let my family pick it." I told him it served him right.

He started beating me. He stood on top of the bed and was stomping on me, even though I was pregnant. He told me that after spending so much money to marry me, I was mocking him. He went out, but later came back in crying and begging me not to tell anyone because his brother and friends were coming over. I stood up and sat on the bed. They came and sat in our hotel room for hours. Like two people who just got married, his friends and brother just stayed and gossiped; he even fell asleep. I was the one who eventually told them I wanted to sleep before they finally left, but I didn't say a word to him.

The next morning, I started bleeding, probably because of the beating. We went to the hospital. Upon returning, I told my friend to bring food for me. My husband went downstairs, and I could hear him discussing my family and what happened at our traditional marriage with his friends. I called him into the room and told him that it was enough—that he shouldn't be telling people everything. He started shouting, which led to an argument. He was very angry and said he was going to go collect his dowry back. Out of anger, I told him to go and collect it. He got even angrier and said he wasn't doing this anymore because I challenged him.

I started feeling pains and was rushed to the hospital again. When I arrived, his friend had already taken him to rent another hotel room. I kept begging and calling my husband. I called his brother to help me beg him. I begged for a long time before he finally came back.

It is getting too long; I’ll do a part two.

Na wa o
You really try o... For enduring

Where you by any chance working while all these was happening

hmmmmmmmmmm your husband no be am at all, but that's if you are saying the truth o

🥱🥱🥱 Waiting to read the rest of the story.

Lord please help me

Newgirl206:
Before I forget: during my pregnancy, I developed high blood pressure at just 26 years old. If I ask him what my offense is, he says 'nothing'—only that he just doesn't love me and that I forced him into marrying me. I have asked a few of my friends, including one of our mutual friends, to please help me talk to him. I want them to explain that him saying I forced him into marriage, along with so many other hurtful words, is really painful."

It’s starting to sound more believable, though that single quotation mark (the ending part) is a bit of a giveaway that it might be AI. Still, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I’m genuinely interested in what you went through—there’s probably a lot the rest of us could learn from your story.

Everything you put up there is not possible in real life.
It's all fiction

Kajaard:
hmmmmmmmmmm your husband no be am at all, but that's if you are saying the truth o

Of course it's a lie na

Newgirl206:
➜Before I forget: during my pregnancy, I developed high blood pressure at just 26 years old. If I ask him what my offense is, he says 'nothing'—only that he just doesn't love me and that I forced him into marrying me.
✓ I have asked a few of my friends, including one of our mutual friends, to please help me talk to him. I want them to explain that him saying I forced him into marriage, along with so many other hurtful words, is really painful."

They say if a person tells you and/or shows you who they are, you should believe them that very first time. That is a fact! 🥱🥱

2. Human beings cannot change another human being. Forget the lies of traditions and religion to you. If you choose to continue clinging to this human being, you will only be clinging to someone who hates you. And yes, men are capable of staying married to even a woman they hate. Why? Because many times, the benefits of holding on to a woman one hates and using her for free house labor and emotional regulation(she could be a punching bag for relieving stress) outweigh the cost of going out there to find and possibly be rejected by the woman one prefers or yearns for. 🥱🥱

So are you willing to live your life clinging to —ever performing and trying to appease — someone who has more than shown you that you are hated? Or do you see better for yourself and maybe your child? 🥱🥱

Anyway, how old is this man? 🥱🥱

opera1:
➜Everything you put up there is not possible in real life. It's all fiction

I suggest you go have an honest talk with your mother, grandmother, and maybe aunts and sisters. You will be shocked that their stories may be a lot worse than OP's story.🥱🥱

According to some 'wiseacres' monikers above me, every story on Nairaland is fake. They are quick to debunk a story in order to create an impression that they are very smart and knowledgeable.

I don't know where the OP is going, but the story sounds so familiar....FB dating, marriage, domestic abuse, then separation within one month. If the story is fake, then I guess the people experiencing such abuse in real life must be robots.

Kobojunkie:
I suggest you go have an honest talk with your mother, grandmother, and maybe aunts and sisters. You will be shocked that their stories may be a lot worse than OP's story.🥱🥱

Naturally, God just bless you with awkward memory and bad tongue.

Divine healing

More knowledge

Lord help me

I don't know how this thing works, if am posting it right or not but please you guys should just search for the part two and three 🙏🙏 I have already posted them.

Newgirl206:
✓ And yes...... I am trying to be at peace with myself for my own sake, for the sake of my boy, and for the sake of my unborn baby. I am trying to love myself and put myself first, and I hope I get there. It won't be easy, but it can definitely happen.

You ended up having 2 kids for him? Go straight to the courts with documents showing the man is the father of the two children and request for joint custody of those children. He should have to raise them too since they are also his and you need any free time you can get to rebuild your broken life after what he did to you. 🤔

Be sure to let him know that you don't mind him having full custody of the children -- if you will pay child support, with you visiting or checking up on their welfare every so often. Divorce that man as soon as you are mentally able to, and refuse to listen to anyone that tries to lie to you that you are to blame or deserve the monstrous things he put you through. 🤔🤔

You are just 26 and only just beginning your life. You have already tried marriage and hopefully learned the hard way that it is not meat and potatoes. What you need now is to focus on rebuilding your mind, your self esteem and beginning, probably for the first time ever to discover who you truly are without validation from men. And my hope is that you spend the next couple of years alone (without a man) learning to love your own self. 🤔

After you have sufficiently built yourself up and become comfortable in who your own skin, then you can then have the confidence to step out and look for someone who will not use your energy without benefitting you equitably. 🤔

Newgirl206:
I don't know how this thing works, if am posting it right or not but please you guys should just search for the part two and three 🙏🙏 I have already posted them.

Go read this story https://www.nairaland.com/8586462/man-cries-out-after-wife

Find the video of the man and then the woman on tiktok and learn from women who may have been in your situation or worse. If you are tight with your family, now is the time to have them help you ensure you do not bare the burden that is those children all by yourself. 🥱🥱

Divorce him as soon as you are ready to move on from the pain of what I presume is now your past. And make up your mind to never place another human being above you in this life or another.🥱🥱

Newgirl206:
And yes...... I am trying to be at peace with myself for my own sake, for the sake of my boy, and for the sake of my unborn baby. I am trying to love myself and put myself first, and I hope I get there. It won't be easy, but it can definitely happen.

Pardon me to ask, do you have a job? Can you fend for yourself without him?
Just yourself, the kids excluded.

Una dey marry sha.
Jesus.

Your story weak me but I’ll love to know what you did? If you later left the marriage or if you’re still in the marriage.

HelenaWills:
Una dey marry sha.
Jesus.

Many women are in her shoes, but just pretending and can't speak out.

Newgirl206:
here—know that I have self-respect. I am with you because I love you. I am enduring this because I came from a broken home and I don’t want my children to come from one, too.

The emboldened is a trap that many women have fallen into. They tolerate rubbish from men because they are from a broken home, and don't want to end up like their mothers.

Unfortunately, you are in a worse situation than your mom by clinging unto a dead marriage. The society you are trying to please don't care, and won't even remember you if something bad happens to you. Your self esteem is damaged, and will need years of therapy to repair it.

She deactivated and her hubby become invisible.

Foodqueen:
She deactivated and her hubby become invisible.

Is this for real or she just got banned? 😳 Either way, it’s a serious situation. My main concern is her safety—hopefully, she isn't being subjected to more beatings from her 'supposed' husband; the last thing she needs is more physical abuse.

SpencerForbes:
Is this for real or she just got banned? 😳 Either way, it’s a serious situation. My main concern is her safety—hopefully, she isn't being subjected to more beatings from her 'supposed' husband; the last thing she needs is more physical abuse.

She deactivated probably her husband has seen this write-up.

Her husband monicker is "BlindAngel" u can look it up.

Foodqueen:
She deactivated probably her husband has seen this write-up.

Her husband monicker is "BlindAngel" u can look it up.

Wow 😯 really sad… make women marry better husband, mbanu. We love toxic and strong men. I wouldn’t want to involve myself in anybody’s family issues. The lady clearly needs a therapist because she’s down. I really hope it doesn’t resort to something that would end on frontpage.

I knew the story immediately.... The hot tempered warri husband,who came to nairaland last year to serenade us with his story.


2 werey couples.