₦airaland Forum

It's well. We shall find a way around it or over it or through it

Kobojunkie:
Action, they say, speaks volumes louder than words. (Money is not action.) That is a fact of human behavior and life in general. 🥱🥱

2. The vast majority of men out there are married to women they settled for. And yes, they too paid so much for the wedding, and all that was involved. 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
Maybe I'll invite her uncle she respects so much

That will do the magic, his presence will help pacify things

Mikedel80:
It's well. We shall find a way around it or over it or through it

You both have only one life to live, and the same goes for your child. If you both resolve to be unhappy in marriage, that decision will severely impact the happiness of your child... children raised in unhappy homes struggle to have healthy adulthoods. In simple terms, they end up no better than the average Nigerian youths out there in the way they reason and resolve life. 🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
Please my people help judge this family matter.
The truth of the matter is that I have not had sex with my wife for one year now and we live in the same house. The problem is that she killed the chemistry. My dick no longer stands for her. I'm not moved at all even if she is naked. I've lost the attraction and hence the erection for her. The reason is because she became stubborn, disrespectful and not submissive. She argues too much and ready to be combative. She no longer stays in her feminine state. As a result I lost the sexual urge I use to have for her. So I don't touch her It's more than a year we made love and we no longer talk to each other. I don't even know if I can ever have erection for her again. I used to like her when we newly got married. But I no longer like her again. My thing stands very well outside but can't stand for her. I'm tired of the marriage. My not having erection for her is natural. She caused it. I'm not the cause.
What do you think I should do guys cos we have a son together and we're legally married.

You no be God free the woman if you want to and continue outside even if you marry another you'll do the same. She's not submissive are you submissive abi you think marriage is one sided.

Are you faithful, can you be corrected for you not sleeping with her for a year,then you have made your decision oga go abeg anybody wey support you dey decide you

Kobojunkie:
From what you posted, what is clear is that you caused your wife to lose respect for you first. If you had worked with her towards adequately resolving the problems she kept raising, she may have gradually regained respect for you and had no more reasons to resist or argue with you. So, yes, you were not a good husband to her. 🤔🤔

I would recommend that since you both already checked out on each other at this point, divorce as soon as possible, rather than continue pouring precious time and life energy into an already leaking bucket. You should both go your separate ways so you can find love and fulfillment through other means or with other partners. 🥱🥱

You could consider patching things like our grandparents and parents did but we have more than enough data today to know they were not happy even at that. And with just this one life to live, you need to decide whether you want to live happy or miserable with someone you don't like but have to force yourself to tolerate. 🥱🥱

As for the children, joint custody is the way to go with the kids spending 50% of their time with each parent so they can receive love of both parents regardless. 🥱🥱

Arrant nonsense! What are you saying! You must be a lady. because no man can spew this nonsense u just did. How is d man at fault, eh! Were you there. See the way you turned everything upside down blaming the man. Advising him to divorce his wife because according to you, they can't make things work out no matter how they tried. You definitely from a broken home because no sane person would say the things you just said because you have data.


Bro! Settle wit your wife! Talk to her and try to get to her if u understand wat I mean. I'm sure she'd come around if she values your union. Divorce should be the last resort. Good women they scarce. What you feel from others is pure lust that's why you keep rising each time you lust over them. Channel that energy to your wife. No marriage is perfect. None! How you handle it is the determinant factor. At least she's not cheating because that has no remedy than separation. Aside that, I believe you two can work out.

Don't be too quick to divorce. Try all other options first. Thanks

Kobojunkie:
1. Again, you continue to use words that have nothing to do with human beings. 🙄🙄

Your wife does not have to be a saint in this. She merely needs to be a good wife, and none of your complaints regarding her point to her being a bad wife. So, you literally gave me nothing to indicate that she was any of that to you. 🥱🥱

2. Absolutely none of these makes you a good husband though. 🥱🥱🥱

You are Toxic! Very Toxic

Bro don't let all these 18 year old naira boys advise you, they don't even understand relationship , someone of them have never even had one successful girlfriend boyfriend relationship , I'm telling you honest truth, They will drive you crazy. When ever you read any comment that looks strange to you , na those 17 , 18 year old boys , this is a faceless forum.

Back to you issue, ask yourself a very deep question.

1. has she ever been a sweet wife for once before

2. has she ever made you happy in the past that you thank God for bringing such woman into your life

3. Do you still have an iota of love for her ?

4. Does she still have an iota of love for you?

5. Will she take care of you if you are old and sick regardless of her stubbornness ?

6. Most importantly : is she from a good home ? where there is someone she respect that can talk to her in the family .

If you answer 60 percent YES in those questions and especially if number 1 of the question is correct, here are possible solutions you need to check.

1. Be very sure the problem is not what yoruba people called "Ibisi" , some women have a very little mental health issue after birth of their child. Sometimes its not very very obvious but it's definitely a problem in the brain. One of the first sign is that they become very aggressive towards you and they start hating you for no reason. while the chronic ones comes with real madness.

The only solution to this is Phycological, book session for mental health issues or go for professional counselling

2. There is one chemical called pheromone, its a deep stuff that i'm also still leaning about, but once you release enough as a man to a particular woman , you loss all sense of sexuality towards them, you don't find them attractive anymore , and the only way to solve this issue is by staying a little bit far from such woman.

Rent a house outside, get a job outside your current state etc. By staying far away for 5 days , 1 month or 2 , or by coming back home every weekend , the Pheromone chemical will restore itself, and you will have strong erection for your woman again.

3. Masturbation : if you do that thing , stop it.

I hope your marriage works again, but if you try all means and its not still working, rent another house outside permanently , its easier than divorce, It is silent divorce without saying it, you go for weeks without coming home, gradualling weeks turns into months and months turns into years then everybody will be all right lass lass.

Mikedel80:
I don't even care what she does. Like I don't even look or listen. I'm totally not interested in her affairs

Diamond098454:
Marriage is so scary

Husband and wife haven't climb each other for a whole year? Your gender is wicked

Diamond you weren't like this before...

You used to smile a lot. Hope you aren't picking up bad habits and toxicity from jennyclay and safari?

Keep your smile o!

Good morning. Thanks so much. I'll research about the hormone. Question 1 & 2 are yes. I think I'll get another house for myself far away from Lagos. Maybe relocate to Abuja By the way, the marriage will be 10 years by May 2026.

everythingtall3:
Bro don't let all these 18 year old naira boys advise you, they don't even understand relationship , someone of them have never even had one successful girlfriend boyfriend relationship , I'm telling you honest truth, They will drive you crazy. When ever you read any comment that looks strange to you , na those 17 , 18 year old boys , this is a faceless forum.

Back to you issue, ask yourself a very deep question.

1. has she ever been a sweet wife for once before

2. has she ever made you happy in the past that you thank God for bringing such woman into your life

3. Do you still have an iota of love for her ?

4. Does she still have an iota of love for you?

5. Will she take care of you if you are old and sick regardless of her stubbornness ?

6. Most importantly : is she from a good home ? where there is someone she respect that can talk to her in the family .

If you answer 60 percent YES in those questions and especially if number 1 of the question is correct, here are possible solutions you need to check.

1. Be very sure the problem is not what yoruba people called "Ibisi" , some women have a very little mental health issue after birth of their child. Sometimes its not very very obvious but it's definitely a problem in the brain. One of the first sign is that they become very aggressive towards you and they start hating you for no reason. while the chronic ones comes with real madness.

The only solution to this is Phycological, book session for mental health issues or go for professional counselling

2. There is one chemical called pheromone, its a deep stuff that i'm also still leaning about, but once you release enough as a man to a particular woman , you loss all sense of sexuality towards them, you don't find them attractive anymore , and the only way to solve this issue is by staying a little bit far from such woman.

Rent a house outside, get a job outside your current state etc. By staying far away for 5 days , 1 month or 2 , or by coming back home every weekend , the Pheromone chemical will restore itself, and you will have strong erection for your woman again.

3. Masturbation : if you do that thing , stop it.

I hope your marriage works again, but if you try all means and its not still working, rent another house outside permanently , its easier than divorce, It is silent divorce without saying it, you go for weeks without coming home, gradualling weeks turns into months and months turns into years then everybody will be all right lass lass.

You should be more worried how your wife is getting sexually satisfied.

So I should start worrying. Worrying activates the stress hormones which leads to rise in blood pressure and heart beat. Ignorance is bliss. I want to be happy. I don't want anything that will worry me.

ruggedtimi:
You should be more worried how your wife is getting sexually satisfied.

Smile smile smile smile smile smile

Please ooooooooo

brain54:
Diamond you weren't like this before...

You used to smile a lot. Hope you aren't picking up bad habits and toxicity from jennyclay and safari?

Keep your smile o!

Unfortunately both of you have gotten to the enstranged phase of your relationship. If you don't work on it, you might separate. You have to ask yourself what led to the breakdown of your relationship, was it infidelity? Abuse? Neglect? One half of a marriage suddenly doesn't wake up and start resenting the other, something must have led to it. If you really want the marriage, you bot need to re-evaluate yourselves and work on your excesses

I don't see much here:
-You didn't say your wife complained...if she does, tell her y and take it from there/work something out.
-You only complain of her attitude hence your response to end intimacy with her whether knowingly or otherwise.You didn't say you want to quit the marriage.
-If you need more children with her you can always do procedure.
-Abeg there are too many serious problems...tax reforms are here to stay, inflation everywhere,insecurity on the rise,election is close by etc.

Sir...focus on expanding your account balance...life no pure.

Thanks. I'm focusing on expanding my account balance...life no pure.

Ojaycom:
I don't see much here:
-You didn't say your wife complained...if she does, tell her y and take it from there/work something out.
-You only complain of her attitude hence your response to end intimacy with her whether knowingly or otherwise.You didn't say you want to quit the marriage.
-If you need more children with her you can always do procedure.
-Abeg there are too many serious problems...tax reforms are here to stay, inflation everywhere,insecurity on the rise,election is close by etc.

Sir...focus on expanding your account balance...life no pure.

Mikedel80:
I truly need this public opinion. People know alot and they can make you see things in another perspectives you never thought of. Some times it helps. It helps look at things in a holistic way
You then conclude and take actions

Since the past year you two have been having these issues,has she ever made any attempt at resolving the issues? If yes,try again. If no,let her go.

She has never made attempt at resolving the issues

fyneboi79:
Since the past year you two have been having these issues,has she ever made any attempt at resolving the issues? If yes,try again. If no,let her go.

Mikedel80:
She has never made attempt at resolving the issues

Let her go then because she's clearly not interested in bringing you peace of mind....and without peace you can achieve nothing!

OP I saw some comments saying that you should not involve family. My brother, even if you have made up your mind to divorce, involve family abi how you take marry her? You didn't do introduction? To help yourself in future, please let the families know and settle the matter seeing that you both have a child. This will help you if your decision was to call it off.

Mikedel80:
She argues too much
She is disrespectful
She is stubborn
She acts like a man
She dresses the way she likes. Not the way I want
She prays too much which a red flag.
After the prayers, she goes back into ungodly behaviours
I've warned her to put little or no salt in our food still yet salt is her best ingredient
Even Maggi, she go to the market and buy packs of Maggi. I hate Maggi. She no dey hear word.

She acts like a man is your biggest problem and I know men who are not gay don't like being with other men. Na useless elder de judge matter wey dem no hear from 2 sides. You should talk about it with her the way you are talking about it here, next is family. As a man, you need to make up your mind about what you want and the way you want your house to be. You are the leader, you lead, she follows. You can't have two captains in the ship. Set your standards for her to follow. And don't be afraid to take a decision that is in the best interest of YOUR FAMILY. A man builds the house, the woman builds the home. If you think she is destroying your home, you either have someone who is on your teamship or on the other ship. But remember, you have to be a good role model to your child.

Na moomoo man dey fall for & marry nigerian woman.

YUCK!

Mikedel80:
Maybe I'll invite her uncle she respects so much

Good idea.

Mikedel80:
Please my people help judge this family matter.
The truth of the matter is that I have not had sex with my wife for one year now and we live in the same house. The problem is that she killed the chemistry. My dick no longer stands for her. I'm not moved at all even if she is naked. I've lost the attraction and hence the erection for her. The reason is because she became stubborn, disrespectful and not submissive. She argues too much and ready to be combative. She no longer stays in her feminine state. As a result I lost the sexual urge I use to have for her. So I don't touch her It's more than a year we made love and we no longer talk to each other. I don't even know if I can ever have erection for her again. I used to like her when we newly got married. But I no longer like her again. My thing stands very well outside but can't stand for her. I'm tired of the marriage. My not having erection for her is natural. She caused it. I'm not the cause.
What do you think I should do guys cos we have a son together and we're legally married.

don't you know the lack of sex can make a woman combative.fear for your life

Is there nobody you know that she listens to? talk to the person so Dt the person can call her to order.

Thanks so much

SixSeven:
She acts like a man is your biggest problem and I know men who are not gay don't like being with other men. Na useless elder de judge matter wey dem no hear from 2 sides. You should talk about it with her the way you are talking about it here, next is family. As a man, you need to make up your mind about what you want and the way you want your house to be. You are the leader, you lead, she follows. You can't have two captains in the ship. Set your standards for her to follow. And don't be afraid to take a decision that is in the best interest of YOUR FAMILY. A man builds the house, the woman builds the home. If you think she is destroying your home, you either have someone who is on your teamship or on the other ship. But remember, you have to be a good role model to your child.

There is nothing as powerful as a woman in her feminine state. No be to dey do gra gra.

Okoroemekah:
don't you know the lack of sex can make a woman combative.fear for your life

Mikedel80:
There is nothing as powerful as a woman in her feminine state. No be to dey do gra gra.

1. Be careful of advise you take from here. Because most of the people here are inexperienced in marriages, very young, old but never married, have problems with "marriage" as an institution.

2. You are truly inexperienced with women and marriages based on all you have revealed.

3. I think you should look for experienced married men who have lived happily with their wives for years to gain knowledge of how to handle a woman In a marriage. Look for experienced married ones ooo.

4. Note that what you are facing now is common to many marriages, most especially new marriages, until both parties become experienced. If you scatter this marriage and fail to learn from elders and make yourself better, you might face similar challenges in any other woman you will marry in future. So go and learn.

Mikedel80:
Please my people help judge this family matter.
The truth of the matter is that I have not had sex with my wife for one year now and we live in the same house. The problem is that she killed the chemistry. My dick no longer stands for her. I'm not moved at all even if she is naked. I've lost the attraction and hence the erection for her. The reason is because she became stubborn, disrespectful and not submissive. She argues too much and ready to be combative. She no longer stays in her feminine state. As a result I lost the sexual urge I use to have for her. So I don't touch her It's more than a year we made love and we no longer talk to each other. I don't even know if I can ever have erection for her again. I used to like her when we newly got married. But I no longer like her again. My thing stands very well outside but can't stand for her. I'm tired of the marriage. My not having erection for her is natural. She caused it. I'm not the cause.
What do you think I should do guys cos we have a son together and we're legally married.

Dear Op, I think you should consider taking your wife out and talking about it. You know, sometimes women sabi do cho cho cho, they say things they don't really meant and if you take their matter to heart, you no go fit marry any woman at all.

Women loves petting. Have you even try looking beyond what she is saying to what might actually caused it. They will not want to tell you that they want your love and assurance and they will be doing cho cho cho up and down.

My point is, no better woman outside. That woman outside you think is better, wait until you bring her home and you will know you just married the secretary general of the poisonous snake kingdom. No human is perfect including you that's why you should try talking to her and if all options have been exhausted, then maybe it's time to involve family members.

I love marriages and I pray your own works and mine in the nearest future will work too in Jesus name, Amen.

Thanks so much. I appreciate your advice

Adaisback:
Dear Op, I think you should consider taking your wife out and talking about it. You know, sometimes women sabi do cho cho cho, they say things they don't really meant and if you take their matter to heart, you no go fit marry any woman at all.

Women loves petting. Have you even try looking beyond what she is saying to what might actually caused it. They will not want to tell you that they want your love and assurance and they will be doing cho cho cho up and down.

My point is, no better woman outside. That woman outside you think is better, wait until you bring her home and you will know you just married the secretary general of the poisonous snake kingdom. No human is perfect including you that's why you should try talking to her and if all options have been exhausted, then maybe it's time to involve family members.

I love marriages and I pray your own works and mine in the nearest future will work too in Jesus name, Amen.

Mikedel80:
Thanks so much. I appreciate your advice

yes darling, don't just forget to grab her by the waist and give her a hot kiss when she wants to start another round of cho cho cho and that will end it. Good luck darling

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

Adaisback:
yes darling, don't just forget to grab her by the waist and give her a hot kiss when she wants to start another round of cho cho cho and that will end it. Good luck darling

Kobojunkie:
From what you posted, what is clear is that you caused your wife to lose respect for you first. If you had worked with her towards adequately resolving the problems she kept raising, she may have gradually regained respect for you and had no more reasons to resist or argue with you. So, yes, you were not a good husband to her. 🤔🤔

I would recommend that since you both already checked out on each other at this point, divorce as soon as possible, rather than continue pouring precious time and life energy into an already leaking bucket. You should both go your separate ways so you can find love and fulfillment through other means or with other partners. 🥱🥱

You could consider patching things like our grandparents and parents did but we have more than enough data today to know they were not happy even at that. And with just this one life to live, you need to decide whether you want to live happy or miserable with someone you don't like but have to force yourself to tolerate. 🥱🥱

As for the children, joint custody is the way to go with the kids spending 50% of their time with each parent so they can receive love of both parents regardless. 🥱🥱

Like the part of your brain that comprehend is not functioning.
Where did he mentioned children?
Where did he mentioned he not listening to her (his wife)
If you don't have something reasonable to say, just keep shut, not by force to reply.
I am certain you will reply with insult, but I won't be surprised you insult and curse your Father too.