₦airaland Forum

SisterAnn:
This lady says she's not working and you still advice her to take on more responsibility?

Stephen0mozzy:
Op is an adult. If he knew he can't possibly cater for the younger brother, he won't even consider it.

Give your advice and let him do what's best for him

ReekyMass:
Hi, Guys!

Sincerely, I'm a bit confused here. My younger brother, the last born of the family wants to come over to the city to live with me.
My kid bro just graduated from secondary sch last year July. He is actually my step brother, as my mum had to remarry a year later after the passing of my dad many years ago. This brother is the only child my mum has for the Man.
The man is a retired state govt teacher, my mum is his second wife. He's not being responsible over the years and this has caused lots of issues between himself and my mum. Sometimes, if not most times, I'll always have to step in to broker peace between them.
My mum abandoned us to marry this man. At some point she even had to send my blood sister away from the man's house. My kid sister was just four years and needed the presence of a mother in her life, but since my mum so much cherished her new husband at the time, she said that my kid sister wouldn't live with her. So she had to send my sister to stay with our grandma(maternal). I felt so sad about this. Today same sister is married with two kids.
My mum never supported any of us through sch. We are four, plus this step brother of mine, five in total. As a matter of fact, while I was leaving for the city after the completion of my university education, she was nowhere to be found because I was in some financial mess at the time and I needed her to support me financially so I can go to city to hussle. I also wanted her to give me that motherly blessings and pray for my success as I embark on the journey for success. But she was nowhere to be found.
I managed to source for funds and left the village for the city. I'm not four years here. I send her money almost every week. I also send her mother(my grandma) money and ensure I take good care of her since she's the only grandparent I have now. There's almost no time I speak with my mum that she doesn't come up with one financial complaint or the other. Sometimes I avoid her calls for weeks. It's not like I'm doing well here in the city, but I keep meeting her needs. I don't complain to her even when I'm down. I already know she can't help me, so what's the point complaining?. She can have money Hidden somewhere while you're in dire need of it, but she won't tell or give u. She can be doing business and making money secretly without telling you. Sometimes I only get to hear about such businesses from outsiders. She does this so we wouldn't ask her for any help. She never bought us even a notebook or Pen while we were in sch.
Now she wants my kid Bro to come live with me. Living with me isn't a problem. But my mum already spoilt my step brother. He was so pampered as a child and he often disrespects my mum. They asked him to learn Barbing. After sch, he would go there and return in the evenings. But this boy wasn't consistent. At some point, he even stopped. Our mum instructed him to go back and continue, but he refused. His father is so weak and can't discipline him. Four years back, same brother went to live with my immediate younger brother in Lagos and after two weeks he said he wants to go back to the village just like that.
I want him to further his studies but I don't have the resources yet. I want his father to take up that responsibility first, while I also support.
He knows I'm very strict and he can't be disrespectful to me. But my mum already corrupted him. If he comes and I start to discipline and disciple him, it would look like I'm antagonizing him because he's my step brother.
Again, and most importantly, I'm not working now, I'm just managing myself, hustling here and there just to survive. Sometimes I don't even get what to eat. I mange myself. Due to this, I wouldn't want to add another burden to myself. He eats a lot and if he comes here, it will now look like I'm starving him. My mum knows I'm just managing my life. I asked him to be a bit more patient and stay back in the village till I get something tangible to do, so I can take care of him when he comes to town, but he's insisting that he's already tired of staying in the village.
Considering what he did when he visited my immediate younger brother the other time, he wouldn't be able to go back there again.

Nlfpmod
Mynd44
Lalasticlala

Sonnobax15:

Bro,no need to write all these long epistle.

Just tell your mom you aren't financially okay right now and you can't shoulder the load she's about to place on you.

I was once in your shoe, talking about last year....but in my case,it was my elder sister's son.....I'm talking about the same sister who never supported any of us after the death of our mother.....Now ,she wanted me to help her take care of her over pampered and spoilt child.....I refused instantly even when my lady was insisting....

Today,I'm a bad person and I don't care......

Stephen0mozzy:
Then let him come on probation and see how it goes - for you and for him.

Sometime, kids just needs someone to inspire them to be better - alot of factors may have contributed to his behavior at your brother's side when he was there.

May God guide you.

ReekyMass:
Trust me, I've never seen him as a Step brother. I don't even know the difference between a blood brother and step. We were birthed by same woman, so I don't discriminate. I treat him like my other siblings and I even try to do more for him, so he wouldn't be thinking it's because he's not our blood that's why I don't care about him.
God sees my heart

Sonnobax15:

Bro,no need to write all these long epistle.

Just tell your mom you aren't financially okay right now and you can't shoulder the load she's about to place on you.

I was once in your shoe, talking about last year....but in my case,it was my elder sister's son.....I'm talking about the same sister who never supported any of us after the death of our mother.....Now ,she wanted me to help her take care of her over pampered and spoilt child.....I refused instantly even when my lady was insisting....

Today,I'm a bad person and I don't care......

Stephen0mozzy:
Be sincere, you already know what's best for you. But you want us to support that innate decision.

There's a lot of advantage and disadvantage to allowing him come stay with you. But if you can answer the next question correctly to yourself, then you have your answer.

"If the young boy, spoiled and all that was your brother (same father and mother), will you allow him come stay with you knowing that you're a disciplinarian who wants the best for him".

If the answer is yes, then let him come stay - on probation. Tell your mum you'll watch his attitude for 3months, if he behaves, he stays. If he misbehaves, he goes back to the village.

But make sure you're kind to him, them no dey use wickedness correct stubbornness.

ReekyMass:
Trust me, I've never seen him as a Step brother. I don't even know the difference between a blood brother and step. We were birthed by same woman, so I don't discriminate. I treat him like my other siblings and I even try to do more for him, so he wouldn't be thinking it's because he's not our blood that's why I don't care about him.
God sees my heart

ReekyMass:
Hi, Guys!

Sincerely, I'm a bit confused here. My younger brother, the last born of the family wants to come over to the city to live with me..

ReekyMass:
Trust me, I've never seen him as a Step brother. I don't even know the difference between a blood brother and step. We were birthed by same woman, so I don't discriminate. I treat him like my other siblings and I even try to do more for him, so he wouldn't be thinking it's because he's not our blood that's why I don't care about him.
God sees my heart

brain54:
I don't think it should be about the mother though...

The mom has made bad decisions. But it's about the boy. If he can help he should forget about the mom and do so.


The dilemma is him not financially capable enough to do so. He shouldn't rub the sins of the mom on the boy. He is his brother!

2mch:
You better ghost your mum like she ghosts you. Tell her you are trying to take care of yourself and build your future. Never reward wicked and selfish people. Let her and her husband hustle for their kids. Remind her of the days of your hustle when she ran away! Tell her the help you are giving her is so she will not suffer. Ensure you give her the bare minimum and give your grandma more. But make sure all your needs are met first and you have savings. Don’t overstretch yourself for anybody that did nothing for you!

ReekyMass:
Trust me, I've never seen him as a Step brother. I don't even know the difference between a blood brother and step. We were birthed by same woman, so I don't discriminate. I treat him like my other siblings and I even try to do more for him, so he wouldn't be thinking it's because he's not our blood that's why I don't care about him.
God sees my heart

ReekyMass:
Hi, Guys!

Sincerely, I'm a bit confused here. My younger brother, the last born of the family wants to come over to the city to live with me.

My kid bro just graduated from secondary sch last year July. He is actually my step brother, as my mum had to remarry a year later after the passing of my dad many years ago. This brother is the only child my mum has for the Man.

The man is a retired state govt teacher, my mum is his second wife. He's not being responsible over the years and this has caused lots of issues between himself and my mum. Sometimes, if not most times, I'll always have to step in to broker peace between them.

My mum abandoned us to marry this man. At some point she even had to send my blood sister away from the man's house. My kid sister was just four years and needed the presence of a mother in her life, but since my mum so much cherished her new husband at the time, she said that my kid sister wouldn't live with her. So she had to send my sister to stay with our grandma(maternal). I felt so sad about this. Today same sister is married with two kids.

My mum never supported any of us through sch. We are four, plus this step brother of mine, five in total. As a matter of fact, while I was leaving for the city after the completion of my university education, she was nowhere to be found because I was in some financial mess at the time and I needed her to support me financially so I can go to city to hussle. I also wanted her to give me that motherly blessings and pray for my success as I embark on the journey for success. But she was nowhere to be found.

I managed to source for funds and left the village for the city. I'm not four years here. I send her money almost every week. I also send her mother(my grandma) money and ensure I take good care of her since she's the only grandparent I have now.

There's almost no time I speak with my mum that she doesn't come up with one financial complaint or the other. Sometimes I avoid her calls for weeks. It's not like I'm doing well here in the city, but I keep meeting her needs. I don't complain to her even when I'm down. I already know she can't help me, so what's the point complaining?. She can have money Hidden somewhere while you're in dire need of it, but she won't tell or give u. She can be doing business and making money secretly without telling you. Sometimes I only get to hear about such businesses from outsiders. She does this so we wouldn't ask her for any help. She never bought us even a notebook or Pen while we were in sch.

Now she wants my kid Bro to come live with me. Living with me isn't a problem. But my mum already spoilt my step brother. He was so pampered as a child and he often disrespects my mum. They asked him to learn Barbing. After sch, he would go there and return in the evenings. But this boy wasn't consistent. At some point, he even stopped. Our mum instructed him to go back and continue, but he refused. His father is so weak and can't discipline him. Four years back, same brother went to live with my immediate younger brother in Lagos and after two weeks he said he wants to go back to the village just like that.

I want him to further his studies but I don't have the resources yet. I want his father to take up that responsibility first, while I also support.
He knows I'm very strict and he can't be disrespectful to me. But my mum already corrupted him. If he comes and I start to discipline and disciple him, it would look like I'm antagonizing him because he's my step brother.

Again, and most importantly, I'm not working now, I'm just managing myself, hustling here and there just to survive. Sometimes I don't even get what to eat. I mange myself. Due to this, I wouldn't want to add another burden to myself. He eats a lot and if he comes here, it will now look like I'm starving him. My mum knows I'm just managing my life. I asked him to be a bit more patient and stay back in the village till I get something tangible to do, so I can take care of him when he comes to town, but he's insisting that he's already tired of staying in the village.

Considering what he did when he visited my immediate younger brother the other time, he wouldn't be able to go back there again.

ReekyMass:
Hi, Guys!

Sincerely, I'm a bit confused here. My younger brother, the last born of the family wants to come over to the city to live with me.

My kid bro just graduated from secondary sch last year July. He is actually my step brother, as my mum had to remarry a year later after the passing of my dad many years ago. This brother is the only child my mum has for the Man.

The man is a retired state govt teacher, my mum is his second wife. He's not being responsible over the years and this has caused lots of issues between himself and my mum. Sometimes, if not most times, I'll always have to step in to broker peace between them


Madam, you have the solution to your problem all by yourself.
Why bring some one to Saturday with you when you are hot comfortable yourself?
Allow him stay with is parents until after sometime when you are financially capable to assist. If he can't cope with his parents do you think he would be able to cope with you? Allow him there tell him to go and learn mechanic it's very lucrative this days or he should learn tilling and POP this skils will never make you go broke if you know them.

My mum abandoned us to marry this man. At some point she even had to send my blood sister away from the man's house. My kid sister was just four years and needed the presence of a mother in her life, but since my mum so much cherished her new husband at the time, she said that my kid sister wouldn't live with her. So she had to send my sister to stay with our grandma(maternal). I felt so sad about this. Today same sister is married with two kids.

My mum never supported any of us through sch. We are four, plus this step brother of mine, five in total. As a matter of fact, while I was leaving for the city after the completion of my university education, she was nowhere to be found because I was in some financial mess at the time and I needed her to support me financially so I can go to city to hussle. I also wanted her to give me that motherly blessings and pray for my success as I embark on the journey for success. But she was nowhere to be found.

I managed to source for funds and left the village for the city. I'm not four years here. I send her money almost every week. I also send her mother(my grandma) money and ensure I take good care of her since she's the only grandparent I have now.

There's almost no time I speak with my mum that she doesn't come up with one financial complaint or the other. Sometimes I avoid her calls for weeks. It's not like I'm doing well here in the city, but I keep meeting her needs. I don't complain to her even when I'm down. I already know she can't help me, so what's the point complaining?. She can have money Hidden somewhere while you're in dire need of it, but she won't tell or give u. She can be doing business and making money secretly without telling you. Sometimes I only get to hear about such businesses from outsiders. She does this so we wouldn't ask her for any help. She never bought us even a notebook or Pen while we were in sch.

Now she wants my kid Bro to come live with me. Living with me isn't a problem. But my mum already spoilt my step brother. He was so pampered as a child and he often disrespects my mum. They asked him to learn Barbing. After sch, he would go there and return in the evenings. But this boy wasn't consistent. At some point, he even stopped. Our mum instructed him to go back and continue, but he refused. His father is so weak and can't discipline him. Four years back, same brother went to live with my immediate younger brother in Lagos and after two weeks he said he wants to go back to the village just like that.

I want him to further his studies but I don't have the resources yet. I want his father to take up that responsibility first, while I also support.
He knows I'm very strict and he can't be disrespectful to me. But my mum already corrupted him. If he comes and I start to discipline and disciple him, it would look like I'm antagonizing him because he's my step brother.

Again, and most importantly, I'm not working now, I'm just managing myself, hustling here and there just to survive. Sometimes I don't even get what to eat. I mange myself. Due to this, I wouldn't want to add another burden to myself. He eats a lot and if he comes here, it will now look like I'm starving him. My mum knows I'm just managing my life. I asked him to be a bit more patient and stay back in the village till I get something tangible to do, so I can take care of him when he comes to town, but he's insisting that he's already tired of staying in the village.

Considering what he did when he visited my immediate younger brother the other time, he wouldn't be able to go back there again.

ReekyMass:
Hi, Guys!

Sincerely, I'm a bit confused here. My younger brother, the last born of the family wants to come over to the city to live with me.

My kid bro just graduated from secondary sch last year July. He is actually my step brother, as my mum had to remarry a year later after the passing of my dad many years ago. This brother is the only child my mum has for the Man.

The man is a retired state govt teacher, my mum is his second wife. He's not being responsible over the years and this has caused lots of issues between himself and my mum. Sometimes, if not most times, I'll always have to step in to broker peace between them.

My mum abandoned us to marry this man. At some point she even had to send my blood sister away from the man's house. My kid sister was just four years and needed the presence of a mother in her life, but since my mum so much cherished her new husband at the time, she said that my kid sister wouldn't live with her. So she had to send my sister to stay with our grandma(maternal). I felt so sad about this. Today same sister is married with two kids.

My mum never supported any of us through sch. We are four, plus this step brother of mine, five in total. As a matter of fact, while I was leaving for the city after the completion of my university education, she was nowhere to be found because I was in some financial mess at the time and I needed her to support me financially so I can go to city to hussle. I also wanted her to give me that motherly blessings and pray for my success as I embark on the journey for success. But she was nowhere to be found.

I managed to source for funds and left the village for the city. I'm not four years here. I send her money almost every week. I also send her mother(my grandma) money and ensure I take good care of her since she's the only grandparent I have now.

There's almost no time I speak with my mum that she doesn't come up with one financial complaint or the other. Sometimes I avoid her calls for weeks. It's not like I'm doing well here in the city, but I keep meeting her needs. I don't complain to her even when I'm down. I already know she can't help me, so what's the point complaining?. She can have money Hidden somewhere while you're in dire need of it, but she won't tell or give u. She can be doing business and making money secretly without telling you. Sometimes I only get to hear about such businesses from outsiders. She does this so we wouldn't ask her for any help. She never bought us even a notebook or Pen while we were in sch.

Now she wants my kid Bro to come live with me. Living with me isn't a problem. But my mum already spoilt my step brother. He was so pampered as a child and he often disrespects my mum. They asked him to learn Barbing. After sch, he would go there and return in the evenings. But this boy wasn't consistent. At some point, he even stopped. Our mum instructed him to go back and continue, but he refused. His father is so weak and can't discipline him. Four years back, same brother went to live with my immediate younger brother in Lagos and after two weeks he said he wants to go back to the village just like that.

I want him to further his studies but I don't have the resources yet. I want his father to take up that responsibility first, while I also support.
He knows I'm very strict and he can't be disrespectful to me. But my mum already corrupted him. If he comes and I start to discipline and disciple him, it would look like I'm antagonizing him because he's my step brother.

Again, and most importantly, I'm not working now, I'm just managing myself, hustling here and there just to survive. Sometimes I don't even get what to eat. I mange myself. Due to this, I wouldn't want to add another burden to myself. He eats a lot and if he comes here, it will now look like I'm starving him. My mum knows I'm just managing my life. I asked him to be a bit more patient and stay back in the village till I get something tangible to do, so I can take care of him when he comes to town, but he's insisting that he's already tired of staying in the village.

Considering what he did when he visited my immediate younger brother the other time, he wouldn't be able to go back there again.

ReekyMass:
Hi, Guys!

Sincerely, I'm a bit confused here. My younger brother, the last born of the family wants to come over to the city to live with me.

My kid bro just graduated from secondary sch last year July. He is actually my step brother, as my mum had to remarry a year later after the passing of my dad many years ago. This brother is the only child my mum has for the Man.

The man is a retired state govt teacher, my mum is his second wife. He's not being responsible over the years and this has caused lots of issues between himself and my mum. Sometimes, if not most times, I'll always have to step in to broker peace between them.

My mum abandoned us to marry this man. At some point she even had to send my blood sister away from the man's house. My kid sister was just four years and needed the presence of a mother in her life, but since my mum so much cherished her new husband at the time, she said that my kid sister wouldn't live with her. So she had to send my sister to stay with our grandma(maternal). I felt so sad about this. Today same sister is married with two kids.

My mum never supported any of us through sch. We are four, plus this step brother of mine, five in total. As a matter of fact, while I was leaving for the city after the completion of my university education, she was nowhere to be found because I was in some financial mess at the time and I needed her to support me financially so I can go to city to hussle. I also wanted her to give me that motherly blessings and pray for my success as I embark on the journey for success. But she was nowhere to be found.

I managed to source for funds and left the village for the city. I'm not four years here. I send her money almost every week. I also send her mother(my grandma) money and ensure I take good care of her since she's the only grandparent I have now.

There's almost no time I speak with my mum that she doesn't come up with one financial complaint or the other. Sometimes I avoid her calls for weeks. It's not like I'm doing well here in the city, but I keep meeting her needs. I don't complain to her even when I'm down. I already know she can't help me, so what's the point complaining?. She can have money Hidden somewhere while you're in dire need of it, but she won't tell or give u. She can be doing business and making money secretly without telling you. Sometimes I only get to hear about such businesses from outsiders. She does this so we wouldn't ask her for any help. She never bought us even a notebook or Pen while we were in sch.

Now she wants my kid Bro to come live with me. Living with me isn't a problem. But my mum already spoilt my step brother. He was so pampered as a child and he often disrespects my mum. They asked him to learn Barbing. After sch, he would go there and return in the evenings. But this boy wasn't consistent. At some point, he even stopped. Our mum instructed him to go back and continue, but he refused. His father is so weak and can't discipline him. Four years back, same brother went to live with my immediate younger brother in Lagos and after two weeks he said he wants to go back to the village just like that.

I want him to further his studies but I don't have the resources yet. I want his father to take up that responsibility first, while I also support.
He knows I'm very strict and he can't be disrespectful to me. But my mum already corrupted him. If he comes and I start to discipline and disciple him, it would look like I'm antagonizing him because he's my step brother.

Again, and most importantly, I'm not working now, I'm just managing myself, hustling here and there just to survive. Sometimes I don't even get what to eat. I mange myself. Due to this, I wouldn't want to add another burden to myself. He eats a lot and if he comes here, it will now look like I'm starving him. My mum knows I'm just managing my life. I asked him to be a bit more patient and stay back in the village till I get something tangible to do, so I can take care of him when he comes to town, but he's insisting that he's already tired of staying in the village.

Considering what he did when he visited my immediate younger brother the other time, he wouldn't be able to go back there again.

Donlexino:
Guy, you are not making sense at all! didn't you read where he said that he doesn't have a job and he's still struggling to survive?na your eyes the glutton boy go chop?plz op,let the boy remain there with your wicked mum...let she and her husband she rushed to marry another man under a year after the demise of her husband.

ReekyMass:
My mum knows I'm just managing my life. I asked him to be a bit more patient and stay back in the village till I get something tangible to do, so I can take care of him when he comes to town, but he's insisting that he's already tired of staying in the village.

Considering what he did when he visited my immediate younger brother the other time, he wouldn't be able to go back there again.