₦airaland Forum

Host78:
Imagine a lady, no skill, no education. No handwork.

All waiting for a man to come save her from the gutter she called her father's house.

After you pick her and give her small hope, she go come dey call you misogynists.

That's how those smelling feminists are o. They are all here on nairaland creating threads upandan.

Nothing good is going on or will ever go on in their lives until a man shows up

Then you hear I am a strong and independent woman

Originalsly:
I knew someone who made an uneducated and unskilled woman his wife. He was a Police ....had three children ... got promotions .. never sent his wife to school ... retired ...died. The wife? ..bona fide housewife ... his entire salary went to her ... she gave him his "spending allowance" ... she took care of all the expenses ... took care of the children. He was happy with the arrangement ... especially knowing he had a gambling problem . The children are all grown up now... well behaved ..mannerly ...all working... now looking out for her. Been a happy family. One can always educate the uneducated ...or get the unskilled to learn a skill. The more important thing should be the character of the person. Uncle married a liability...a good looking liability.

FromZeroToHero:
I nearly made this same mistake but God save me.

Kobicove:
Marrying a lady without a skill or education in this present economy is tantamount to entering a One-chance bus

...dem go carry you go where you no know

SpaceX:
What kind of thread it this how can a woman not have any education or skills in modern times, it is impossible? Nairaland need to focus on high intellectual threads not this nonsense

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

APOPTOSIS:
Seems you're from Pluto.
Haven't you seen empty Ladies who solely rely on their bodies to assume the position of authority in any endeavor?

themountain:
I am currently in a logjam. Feel like I am trapped. I am married for a year now. She is a graduate, but without any skill or job. I have told her to look for for a job, perhaps in a supermarket to support herself, but she keeps saying she can't do that kind of work. She is too big for that kind of work.

She has tried different kind of business which she has failed in. Last year she wasted about 300k of my money without any result.

She is currently doing POS, and I still give her transport to go for the business, yet no profit.

I currently feel trapped. I have not been able to achieve anything since I married her.

APOPTOSIS:
Who spends time with such ladies?
Why date such Ladies in the first place?
It's just despicable to marry someone with zero income or zero ideas. 🤷🏾🤷🏾🤷🏾

themountain:
I am currently in a logjam. Feel like I am trapped. I am married for a year now. She is a graduate, but without any skill or job. I have told her to look for for a job, perhaps in a supermarket to support herself, but she keeps saying she can't do that kind of work. She is too big for that kind of work.

She has tried different kind of business which she has failed in. Last year she wasted about 300k of my money without any result.

She is currently doing POS, and I still give her transport to go for the business, yet no profit.

I currently feel trapped. I have not been able to achieve anything since I married her.

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going


Getting the intelligent and highly professional woman you want has its own downsides as well....you know.

Your wife has fulfilled the major requirements, you said she birthed fine kids.

You are just being a perfectionist.
Calm down and count yr blessings.

honour8:
What ever you do, don't leave your wife oh, the day you do, the day you will see and know the true meaning of suffer. Sorry to break it to you but all the things you said point to one thing, your wife is likely what we usually call an Ogbanje. If they, love you dem done done love you, things will be going well for you. They will continue to support you spiritually and you will think all your success is yours, do you know how many people graduated with first class in Nigeria or how many software developer there are, guy if you think I am lying ask a spiritual man, they will tell you. How you go expect person wey done carry her lucky charm join your own make e serious for work again.

Another thing that made me say that is that abroad stuff, the source of her power is in Nigeria, that is why she is discouraging you from travelling bet it if you too push her she will ask you to go, even with the children but she will stay behind, this is because they cannot leave far away from their source.

You are lucky you brought this here if not Oyo would have been your future. You will leave her and she will still find another man and the man will be very successful while you will fall flat. You go wonder, except you want make another person train your children.

elipheleh:
Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

WebMind:
Your obsession with light-skinned ladies lately is not without notice. You have focused on their character deficiencies so much. I am sure you prefer dark-skinned ones or have had few encounter with terrible light-skinned ones.

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

Helpout12345:
It's not a good idea. In fact, it's a terrible idea.

All men that I know that did it, later regret it.

In all cases, the women never loved them. They just married the men for survival.

Sirchiboy:
I have an uncle who is a teacher that married a Lady , no skill or education.
He married her because she is fair.
Guess what , this uncle couldnt achieve anything throughtout his 35 years of teaching.
All his salary was used to pay debt his wife push him into.
If not for their first daughter that married a well to do man who helped him to build a house on his land he bought from his gratuity.
This man would have just grow old and go without anything.
I don't pity him because he caused and brought that upon himself.

laivwire:
Elipheleh, my story is very similar to yours and it's been on for over a decade now.
3rd class, no job, no business. No ambition.
All she wants is a good life and money to spend.... and it is frustrating to say the least.

This is despite the fact that I broke my first true relationship of over 4 years because of this fear. I had seen enough experiences with my uncles to know it's not a good idea. All the wife would care about are her kids, watching Nollywood all day, and wanting the latest items they see on other people they gossip about. I discussed this with my wife before marriage that I do not want a wife like this and she said yes, ok. Only to count several years in marriage and she never stepped out of the house to go work for one day. I've designed CV multiple times and given her money for business. All down the drain because she has no drive to do it.

But I will reecho what honour8 said. I met my wife at a low point in life but ever since, I have found myself in an upward trajectory. Every big project I put my hands into, even though it's quite difficult and takes a long time, eventually turns successful. I previously had a cycle of 3 years of good tidings and by the fourth year I would be expecting some kind of setback but things changed since I met her. She talks about it too.

Now, I'm not so spiritual or anything. I have fought with her countless times and given her several ultimatums in this issue but it's just ingrained in her not to do/want anything other than her current life.

I'm not giving up on her however because even though her inaction has put me in dire straits when it comes to making some big career decisions multiple times, I choose to look at the positives. She's good natured, loves to care for the kids better than anyone else I know and does all housewifely chores gladly. Cook, clean, etc

Besides there are many educated Nigerian couples out there today with only the husband working. Even though the wife wants to work, there's no opportunity. So just manage your accounts and lead your family the best way you can given the situation.

sacajawea:
Lol, very very funny.

So this topic got to FrontPage??
Very very Funny.

Rich4god:
As a man... Marry any lady that gives you peace and willing to stand with you...

Then over time, you upgrade her to any standard you want. If it's skill, enrol her. If it's education plan and send her to school.

The most important thing is to be with someone that gives you all you need in a woman.