₦airaland Forum

Good day everyone here.

So lately I've been in contact with my ex girlfriend who's now supposedly a happy married woman, according to what I was told initially . Tho it on Whatsapp when I got a message from her,but I tried to be careful and mindful while conversing with her.

After a while,one thing led to another and I curiously asked her if she was really happy in her marriage. To my greatest surprise,she said NO,and she didn't even end it there. She said she regrets getting married to a man who's old enough to be her father. Mind you, she's in her late 20's while her husband seems to be in his early 60's. They've got a son together

Well,I just told her plainly,that I shouldn't be the one she should be complaining to . I only asked her a simple and polar question,and she ended up pouring out all her pains and agony before me as if I was amongst her kinsmen that took bride price from her husband Because I could remember we were still dating when she left me for him, thinking everything that was glittering then was gold .

The funny thing was that it didn't end there, because ever since then,she has been on my neck,from one polite billing to the other. And to be honest,I don't want to and will never have anything to do with her . I'm even Planning to block her number if she wouldn't stop pestering my innocent single and not searching life

Now,the real problem is that,for the past one week,her messages have been popping on my phone like steadily . And which has left me wondering and pondering , are married men not spending quality time with their wives ? 🤔. Is marriage not really enjoyable like those married folks makes us believe, especially on social media? Those of you who are married and happy in your marriages, please come in and give those us who are about to consider getting married in the future some tips on how to make a happy home.

Before I read the whole thread I knew this billing was going to come up. She's is also telling you all those stories to make you emotional and reap you off your earnings.

Don't cheat the Billing...once a lady is trying to tell you a story be the first person to bill her. Always be ahead of the game.

The sole purpose of that her storyline to you was to collect your money. Guard it jealously. Money is not so easy to make in Nigeria

ThugOfWar:
Before I read the whole thread I knew this billing was going to come up. She's is also telling you all those stories to make you emotional and reap you off your earnings.

Don't cheat the Billing...once a lady is trying to tell you a story be the first person to bill her. Always be ahead of the game.

The sole purpose of that her storyline to you was to collect your money. Guard it jealously. Money is not so easy to make in Nigeria

. I rather die than loose guard for her . Because I was very much alive,even younger,agile and fertile when she left me for her ancestorous husbands . I don't have her time.

This is my honest take on this matter.
First of all, you handled it well by telling her clearly that you shouldn’t be the one she’s complaining to. That was mature. Once someone is married, especially to another person, emotional boundaries must be respected. No matter the history, you are no longer her safe space.
Now let’s address the real issue.
Marriage is not Instagram. Marriage is not wedding pictures. Marriage is not matching outfits and anniversary captions. Marriage is two imperfect people managing expectations, responsibilities, finances, personalities, family pressure, and sometimes regret.
Some people marry for love.
Some marry for money.
Some marry for pressure.
Some marry for security.
And some marry thinking “it will get better with time.”
But marriage only amplifies what was already there.
If she married a man old enough to be her father because she thought he was “gold,” then she made a choice. Whether that choice was influenced by comfort, pressure, or glitter it was still her decision. Regret after marriage does not automatically mean marriage is bad. It simply means she may have chosen wrongly or for the wrong reasons.
Now, to your question:
Are married men not spending time with their wives?
Some are. Some aren’t.
Are all marriages enjoyable?
No.
Are some marriages peaceful and beautiful?
Absolutely yes.
The difference is not age gap alone. It is compatibility, communication, emotional maturity, shared values, and realistic expectations.
A happy home is not built on: • Money alone
• Social media validation
• Age difference
• Pressure to “secure your future”
A happy home is built on: • Friendship before romance
• Emotional safety
• Mutual respect
• Financial understanding
• Honest communication
• And choosing your partner daily, even when feelings fluctuate
The bigger red flag here is not her unhappy marriage. It is her constantly coming back to you emotionally. That is emotional cheating territory. Whether she realizes it or not, she is trying to reconnect with a past comfort zone because her present is uncomfortable.
You are wise to consider blocking her if she continues. Protect your peace. You are not her therapist. You are not her rescue mission. And you definitely are not her backup plan.
For those planning to marry in the future:
Don’t marry to escape your current life.
Don’t marry because of pressure.
Don’t marry because someone looks financially secure.
Don’t marry someone you cannot talk to freely.
Don’t ignore red flags because of “benefits.”
Marry someone you can laugh with on a bad day.
Marry someone who listens.
Marry someone who respects your growth.
Marry someone whose values align with yours.
Marriage is enjoyable when two people are intentional. It is miserable when one person is pretending.
And lastly if someone leaves you thinking another place is greener, let them stay where they planted themselves. Don’t water what walked away.
Protect your single and peaceful life until the right person comes.
That’s my two cents.

This person above me
AI dey cry

Anyways, the fact that you are still communicating with her and even asking if she's happy shows you're not over her yet.

WhiteIverson:
This person above me
AI dey cry

Anyways, the fact that you are still communicating with her and even asking if she's happy shows you're not over her yet.

I'm over her Mr. Man . I will never have anything to do with a married woman over my dead body

notobiafrababe:
This is my honest take on this matter.
First of all, you handled it well by telling her clearly that you shouldn’t be the one she’s complaining to. That was mature. Once someone is married, especially to another person, emotional boundaries must be respected. No matter the history, you are no longer her safe space.
Now let’s address the real issue.
Marriage is not Instagram. Marriage is not wedding pictures. Marriage is not matching outfits and anniversary captions. Marriage is two imperfect people managing expectations, responsibilities, finances, personalities, family pressure, and sometimes regret.
Some people marry for love.
Some marry for money.
Some marry for pressure.
Some marry for security.
And some marry thinking “it will get better with time.”
But marriage only amplifies what was already there.
If she married a man old enough to be her father because she thought he was “gold,” then she made a choice. Whether that choice was influenced by comfort, pressure, or glitter it was still her decision. Regret after marriage does not automatically mean marriage is bad. It simply means she may have chosen wrongly or for the wrong reasons.
Now, to your question:
Are married men not spending time with their wives?
Some are. Some aren’t.
Are all marriages enjoyable?
No.
Are some marriages peaceful and beautiful?
Absolutely yes.
The difference is not age gap alone. It is compatibility, communication, emotional maturity, shared values, and realistic expectations.
A happy home is not built on: • Money alone
• Social media validation
• Age difference
• Pressure to “secure your future”
A happy home is built on: • Friendship before romance
• Emotional safety
• Mutual respect
• Financial understanding
• Honest communication
• And choosing your partner daily, even when feelings fluctuate
The bigger red flag here is not her unhappy marriage. It is her constantly coming back to you emotionally. That is emotional cheating territory. Whether she realizes it or not, she is trying to reconnect with a past comfort zone because her present is uncomfortable.
You are wise to consider blocking her if she continues. Protect your peace. You are not her therapist. You are not her rescue mission. And you definitely are not her backup plan.
For those planning to marry in the future:
Don’t marry to escape your current life.
Don’t marry because of pressure.
Don’t marry because someone looks financially secure.
Don’t marry someone you cannot talk to freely.
Don’t ignore red flags because of “benefits.”
Marry someone you can laugh with on a bad day.
Marry someone who listens.
Marry someone who respects your growth.
Marry someone whose values align with yours.
Marriage is enjoyable when two people are intentional. It is miserable when one person is pretending.
And lastly if someone leaves you thinking another place is greener, let them stay where they planted themselves. Don’t water what walked away.
Protect your single and peaceful life until the right person comes.
That’s my two cents.

Thank you

notobiafrababe:
This is my honest take on this matter.
First of all, you handled it well by telling her clearly that you shouldn’t be the one she’s complaining to. That was mature. Once someone is married, especially to another person, emotional boundaries must be respected. No matter the history, you are no longer her safe space.
Now let’s address the real issue.
Marriage is not Instagram. Marriage is not wedding pictures. Marriage is not matching outfits and anniversary captions. Marriage is two imperfect people managing expectations, responsibilities, finances, personalities, family pressure, and sometimes regret.
Some people marry for love.
Some marry for money.
Some marry for pressure.
Some marry for security.
And some marry thinking “it will get better with time.”
But marriage only amplifies what was already there.
If she married a man old enough to be her father because she thought he was “gold,” then she made a choice. Whether that choice was influenced by comfort, pressure, or glitter it was still her decision. Regret after marriage does not automatically mean marriage is bad. It simply means she may have chosen wrongly or for the wrong reasons.
Now, to your question:
Are married men not spending time with their wives?
Some are. Some aren’t.
Are all marriages enjoyable?
No.
Are some marriages peaceful and beautiful?
Absolutely yes.
The difference is not age gap alone. It is compatibility, communication, emotional maturity, shared values, and realistic expectations.
A happy home is not built on: • Money alone
• Social media validation
• Age difference
• Pressure to “secure your future”
A happy home is built on: • Friendship before romance
• Emotional safety
• Mutual respect
• Financial understanding
• Honest communication
• And choosing your partner daily, even when feelings fluctuate
The bigger red flag here is not her unhappy marriage. It is her constantly coming back to you emotionally. That is emotional cheating territory. Whether she realizes it or not, she is trying to reconnect with a past comfort zone because her present is uncomfortable.
You are wise to consider blocking her if she continues. Protect your peace. You are not her therapist. You are not her rescue mission. And you definitely are not her backup plan.
For those planning to marry in the future:
Don’t marry to escape your current life.
Don’t marry because of pressure.
Don’t marry because someone looks financially secure.
Don’t marry someone you cannot talk to freely.
Don’t ignore red flags because of “benefits.”
Marry someone you can laugh with on a bad day.
Marry someone who listens.
Marry someone who respects your growth.
Marry someone whose values align with yours.
Marriage is enjoyable when two people are intentional. It is miserable when one person is pretending.
And lastly if someone leaves you thinking another place is greener, let them stay where they planted themselves. Don’t water what walked away.
Protect your single and peaceful life until the right person comes.
That’s my two cents.

This book is what you call 2cents

You’re very generous 😅

Toolegit123:
I'm over her Mr. Man . I will never have anything to do with a married woman over my dead body

Then why did you get in contact with her, knowing she moved on in martiage, with another man to the point of having the boldness to direct billings to you?

If your story is true, why have you not blocked her or are you too eager for more gists about her marriage?

Over your dead body should translate in severing every contact with her, let her face her marriage without you being her crutches.

Mindlog:
Then why did you get in contact with her, knowing she moved on in martiage, with another man to the point of having the boldness to direct billings to you?

If your story is true, why have you not blocked her or are you too eager for more gists about her marriage?

Over your dead body should translate in severing every contact with her, let her face her marriage without you being her crutches.

. Okay sir . Thank you for your piece of advice.

Women in marriage always want to use their exes to pay bills. Don't be surprised o,you might not be the only one she is reaching out to. It's like romance scam. They will bring story to make you feel sorry for them.. Once once they will be billing you,even when their husbands is doing his best to make her comfortable.

BigYash:
Women in marriage always want to use their exes to pay bills. Don't be surprised o,you might not be the only one she is reaching out to. It's like romance scam. They will bring story to make you feel sorry for them.. Once once they will be billing you,even when their husbands is doing his best to make her comfortable.

I understand you bro . But trust me,her plans have already failed

Toolegit123:
Good day everyone here.

So lately I've been in contact with my ex girlfriend who's now supposedly a happy married woman, according to what I was told initially . Tho it on Whatsapp when I got a message from her,but I tried to be careful and mindful while conversing with her.

After a while,one thing led to another and I curiously asked her if she was really happy in her marriage. To my greatest surprise,she said NO,and she didn't even end it there. She said she regrets getting married to a man who's old enough to be her father. Mind you, she's in her late 20's while her husband seems to be in his early 60's. They've got a son together

Well,I just told her plainly,that I shouldn't be the one she should be complaining to . I only asked her a simple and polar question,and she ended up pouring out all her pains and agony before me as if I was amongst her kinsmen that took bride price from her husband Because I could remember we were still dating when she left me for him, thinking everything that was glittering then was gold .

The funny thing was that it didn't end there, because ever since then,she has been on my neck,from one polite billing to the other. And to be honest,I don't want to and will never have anything to do with her . I'm even Planning to block her number if she wouldn't stop pestering my innocent single and not searching life

Now,the real problem is that,for the past one week,her messages have been popping on my phone like steadily . And which has left me wondering and pondering , are married men not spending quality time with their wives ? 🤔. Is marriage not really enjoyable like those married folks makes us believe, especially on social media? Those of you who are married and happy in your marriages, please come in and give those us who are about to consider getting married in the future some tips on how to make a happy home.

Nlfpmod obembet Dominique mynd44 Seun

Clap for yourself, you are second best! Keeping in touch with a girl who left you for another man? Tueh! Some men no get self respect.

Still billing you ?been think say she married a 60yo sugar daddy or maybe he later turn bitterleaf daddy

notobiafrababe:
This is my honest take on this matter.
First of all, you handled it well by telling her clearly that you shouldn’t be the one she’s complaining to. That was mature. Once someone is married, especially to another person, emotional boundaries must be respected. No matter the history, you are no longer her safe space.
Now let’s address the real issue.
Marriage is not Instagram. Marriage is not wedding pictures. Marriage is not matching outfits and anniversary captions. Marriage is two imperfect people managing expectations, responsibilities, finances, personalities, family pressure, and sometimes regret.
Some people marry for love.
Some marry for money.
Some marry for pressure.
Some marry for security.
And some marry thinking “it will get better with time.”
But marriage only amplifies what was already there.
If she married a man old enough to be her father because she thought he was “gold,” then she made a choice. Whether that choice was influenced by comfort, pressure, or glitter it was still her decision. Regret after marriage does not automatically mean marriage is bad. It simply means she may have chosen wrongly or for the wrong reasons.
Now, to your question:
Are married men not spending time with their wives?
Some are. Some aren’t.
Are all marriages enjoyable?
No.
Are some marriages peaceful and beautiful?
Absolutely yes.
The difference is not age gap alone. It is compatibility, communication, emotional maturity, shared values, and realistic expectations.
A happy home is not built on: • Money alone
• Social media validation
• Age difference
• Pressure to “secure your future”
A happy home is built on: • Friendship before romance
• Emotional safety
• Mutual respect
• Financial understanding
• Honest communication
• And choosing your partner daily, even when feelings fluctuate
The bigger red flag here is not her unhappy marriage. It is her constantly coming back to you emotionally. That is emotional cheating territory. Whether she realizes it or not, she is trying to reconnect with a past comfort zone because her present is uncomfortable.
You are wise to consider blocking her if she continues. Protect your peace. You are not her therapist. You are not her rescue mission. And you definitely are not her backup plan.
For those planning to marry in the future:
Don’t marry to escape your current life.
Don’t marry because of pressure.
Don’t marry because someone looks financially secure.
Don’t marry someone you cannot talk to freely.
Don’t ignore red flags because of “benefits.”
Marry someone you can laugh with on a bad day.
Marry someone who listens.
Marry someone who respects your growth.
Marry someone whose values align with yours.
Marriage is enjoyable when two people are intentional. It is miserable when one person is pretending.
And lastly if someone leaves you thinking another place is greener, let them stay where they planted themselves. Don’t water what walked away.
Protect your single and peaceful life until the right person comes.
That’s my two cents.

From what the op narrated you ought to know that the major reason the lady is complaining about her marriage is lack of money; her husband is broke.


Lack of money is usually the number one cause of marital issues in most Nigerian marriages, every other thing comes second, so don't worry yourself so much about them, if you can, help them with money and the lady will be just fine lol

After some time, marriage becomes a chore where you play your roles as husband or wife, father or mother or in laws. In playing various roles, you lose yourself and you forget how to love yourself. Slowly, that person dies. And if you can't give what you don't have, love becomes a drug, which is a dependency on another person, instead of giving it out to the world 💔


At topic, she's testing you. You asked a question, close the survey portal. Don't solve the problem. You are just a passing time. If she wants you, she will leave him. Women love fantasy, don't be an actor in her dreams, wake up and smell the coffee ☕

Toolegit123:
. I rather die than loose guard for her . Because I was very much alive,even younger,agile and fertile when she left me for her ancestorous husbands . I don't have her time.

But you refused to marry her.
You knew you weren’t her kinsman, but you asked her if she was happy in her marriage…
Now she has told you her predicament, go ahead and deliver her 😜 that’s what good friends does.
Wahala de one corner, you go drag am close

Its usually women whom lack ambition that go quicky for marriage and after they complain about getting abused one way or other both financially and physically. Marriage is more like a leash for humans instead of dogs . Each day more people keep knee jerking to societal pressure.

You said you will block her if she continues pestering you but you didn’t😂. You wee even the one that asked if she was happy in her marriage 😜. As for your question if men still spend time with their wives, you forgot Doris Ogala who was having phone intimacy with her pastor even when on the bed with her husband😒

Toolegit123:
Good day everyone here.

So lately I've been in contact with my ex girlfriend who's now supposedly a happy married woman, according to what I was told initially . Tho it on Whatsapp when I got a message from her,but I tried to be careful and mindful while conversing with her.

After a while,one thing led to another and I curiously asked her if she was really happy in her marriage. To my greatest surprise,she said NO,and she didn't even end it there. She said she regrets getting married to a man who's old enough to be her father. Mind you, she's in her late 20's while her husband seems to be in his early 60's. They've got a son together

Well,I just told her plainly,that I shouldn't be the one she should be complaining to . I only asked her a simple and polar question,and she ended up pouring out all her pains and agony before me as if I was amongst her kinsmen that took bride price from her husband Because I could remember we were still dating when she left me for him, thinking everything that was glittering then was gold .

The funny thing was that it didn't end there, because ever since then,she has been on my neck,from one polite billing to the other. And to be honest,I don't want to and will never have anything to do with her . I'm even Planning to block her number if she wouldn't stop pestering my innocent single and not searching life

Now,the real problem is that,for the past one week,her messages have been popping on my phone like steadily . And which has left me wondering and pondering , are married men not spending quality time with their wives ? 🤔. Is marriage not really enjoyable like those married folks makes us believe, especially on social media? Those of you who are married and happy in your marriages, please come in and give those us who are about to consider getting married in the future some tips on how to make a happy home.

Nlfpmod obembet Dominique mynd44 Seun

Women are emotionally manipulative, if she had married someone younger the story wouldn't have been different

Toolegit123:
Good day everyone here.

So lately I've been in contact with my ex girlfriend who's now supposedly a happy married woman, according to what I was told initially . Tho it on Whatsapp when I got a message from her,but I tried to be careful and mindful while conversing with her.

After a while,one thing led to another and I curiously asked her if she was really happy in her marriage. To my greatest surprise,she said NO,and she didn't even end it there. She said she regrets getting married to a man who's old enough to be her father. Mind you, she's in her late 20's while her husband seems to be in his early 60's. They've got a son together

Well,I just told her plainly,that I shouldn't be the one she should be complaining to . I only asked her a simple and polar question,and she ended up pouring out all her pains and agony before me as if I was amongst her kinsmen that took bride price from her husband Because I could remember we were still dating when she left me for him, thinking everything that was glittering then was gold .

The funny thing was that it didn't end there, because ever since then,she has been on my neck,from one polite billing to the other. And to be honest,I don't want to and will never have anything to do with her . I'm even Planning to block her number if she wouldn't stop pestering my innocent single and not searching life

Now,the real problem is that,for the past one week,her messages have been popping on my phone like steadily . And which has left me wondering and pondering , are married men not spending quality time with their wives ? 🤔. Is marriage not really enjoyable like those married folks makes us believe, especially on social media? Those of you who are married and happy in your marriages, please come in and give those us who are about to consider getting married in the future some tips on how to make a happy home.

Nlfpmod obembet Dominique mynd44 Seun

Even though your story is figment.

What is your business in asking married woman, if she is happy in her marriage? infact, why did you keep contact of your married ex if not to destroy her marriage?

If you are better than husband, will she leave you and married old man?

notobiafrababe:
This is my honest take on this matter.
First of all, you handled it well by telling her clearly that you shouldn’t be the one she’s complaining to. That was mature. Once someone is married, especially to another person, emotional boundaries must be respected. No matter the history, you are no longer her safe space.
Now let’s address the real issue.
Marriage is not Instagram. Marriage is not wedding pictures. Marriage is not matching outfits and anniversary captions. Marriage is two imperfect people managing expectations, responsibilities, finances, personalities, family pressure, and sometimes regret.
Some people marry for love.
Some marry for money.
Some marry for pressure.
Some marry for security.
And some marry thinking “it will get better with time.”
But marriage only amplifies what was already there.
If she married a man old enough to be her father because she thought he was “gold,” then she made a choice. Whether that choice was influenced by comfort, pressure, or glitter it was still her decision. Regret after marriage does not automatically mean marriage is bad. It simply means she may have chosen wrongly or for the wrong reasons.
Now, to your question:
Are married men not spending time with their wives?
Some are. Some aren’t.
Are all marriages enjoyable?
No.
Are some marriages peaceful and beautiful?
Absolutely yes.
The difference is not age gap alone. It is compatibility, communication, emotional maturity, shared values, and realistic expectations.
A happy home is not built on: • Money alone
• Social media validation
• Age difference
• Pressure to “secure your future”
A happy home is built on: • Friendship before romance
• Emotional safety
• Mutual respect
• Financial understanding
• Honest communication
• And choosing your partner daily, even when feelings fluctuate
The bigger red flag here is not her unhappy marriage. It is her constantly coming back to you emotionally. That is emotional cheating territory. Whether she realizes it or not, she is trying to reconnect with a past comfort zone because her present is uncomfortable.
You are wise to consider blocking her if she continues. Protect your peace. You are not her therapist. You are not her rescue mission. And you definitely are not her backup plan.
For those planning to marry in the future:
Don’t marry to escape your current life.
Don’t marry because of pressure.
Don’t marry because someone looks financially secure.
Don’t marry someone you cannot talk to freely.
Don’t ignore red flags because of “benefits.”
Marry someone you can laugh with on a bad day.
Marry someone who listens.
Marry someone who respects your growth.
Marry someone whose values align with yours.
Marriage is enjoyable when two people are intentional. It is miserable when one person is pretending.
And lastly if someone leaves you thinking another place is greener, let them stay where they planted themselves. Don’t water what walked away.
Protect your single and peaceful life until the right person comes.
That’s my two cents.

I copied all you posted and ran it through plagiarism detection software and it told me you were writing verbatim transcription from chatgpt

And I was almost clapping for you

Brandiebird:
This book is what you call 2cents

You’re very generous 😅

Na artificial intelligence him use

No too dey wonder 😏

Tips on how to make a happy home:

Marry your best friend, someone you're compatible with in all aspects of life.

Not all that glitters you see on social media is actually gold in reality, hubby and I made a decision to keep our marriage private, away from social media scrutiny and so far it's been peaceful... He only has two pictures of me on his Instagram account, which is my feet and hands.

I've always preferred living a low-key private life and he didn't seem to have any issues with it.

Marriage ehn. Please don’t go for money alone o

but apostle paul warned against it unfortunately not many are aware of the that sound warning , i wasnt until i got married

I keep saying it, "anything that costs you your happiness is too expensive"

People and ex whahalahh...

Where is Samantha my love? Please who have seen Samantha my love?

If your story is true and if she's really unhappy in her marriage, I'm sure the problem didn't stem from age difference between her and her husband. Rather, she might even be the problem herself but has failed to see that she's the problem! Also, I can assure you that if that lady was married to you she would have still complained to other guys that she wasn't happy in the marriage with you. She would probably have wished she married someone older.

So, the problem could be from her!

Marriage is two different people living together who have made a decision to love despite all their weaknesses.

Love is a decision, not just emotions, and it's expressed through giving/sacrifices.

True Love is unselfish. The reason why many marriages fail these days is selfishness and lack of true love between couples.

Many especially women marry out of pressure, envy, competition, mockery, greed, anxiety, revenge, etc.

Only God can give you a partner that truly loves you and vice versa.

Glad she is billing you so you will know your place in the life of a married ex and do the needful