₦airaland Forum

“What I mean invested, is invested so much, start up a business for you, set up properties for you. Then he is probably asking for a loan, and the loan he should be asking should be 0.001 percent of whatever he has done for you.”

“Don’t Give Your Man Money” — Lady Warns Women https://t.co/QUhATdlaK0 pic.twitter.com/KKkJK17T06

— Rep9ja.Com (@Rep9jaNg) February 20, 2026

Merry100:
In a way, she is right; she is likely speaking from experience.

I believe women should guard their emotions and avoid making sacrifices that harm them in the long run. That said, I see nothing wrong with being financially involved with your partner, whether it is lending him money, doing business together, or building something as partners.

I just don't mix business with pleasure. I can't be unkind to someone simply because he is a man. I have brothers, and I wish them well. Still, you must protect yourself; people can be unpredictable.

Don't sacrifice your whole world or give so much to the extent that you can later regret or feel entitled in return.

Support him only at your own convenience. You can keep such transactions strictly business, you can even charge interest if you wish.

spiceadole:
When I was single, I guided my money so much that I would tell myself "Instead of a man to eat my money, let me rot in jail". ..and I don't collect money or gifts from men.Its never free.



I remember when I was dating my now husband, on my birthday, he called and texted me. no money , no gifts...as he had only agreed on my "no sex before marriage" principle on the condition that he wouldn't spend on me which I agreed .I was working and earning fairly okay .
I wasn't greedy or living above my means.


Few months later, it was his birthday.. I had a good amount of money in my savings. So I went to a boutique and started shopping for him.
Along the line, my sense returned.
I dropped the items I was buying for him.. and instead shopped for my siblings. Afterall, it was few days to Christmas.

On his birthday, I also called and texted him.
We got married 3 months later..
He started gifting me after we got married because he had started sleeping with me but I still find it impossible to give him anything which he low-key complains about it.

I don't acknowledge his birthday, valentine's Day or our anniversary with any gifts.

SpencerForbes:
This comment of yours really got me thinking, and honestly, I don’t think anyone can even blame you. But I have a question: are you a Barrister, or do you just let every little event and happening stick to you that deeply? It’s usually only people in law firms who cling to agreements that rigidly.

I’m certain there are other "benefits" you’re hiding, probably based on things you learned while you two were dating. I actually pity the man, because at this rate, anything he says will surely be used against him in your "Court of Law."

What is the point of a marriage if both parties cannot learn to compromise and let things go?

spiceadole:
I am not a Barrister.
I am just a lady who keeps to agreements because I don't like trouble.
My mum told me at age 14 that I should not collect money or gifts from any man I know I will not have sex with...It stuck.

For me ,I have benefited from having children who know their father and having a partner to assist me take care of them.

I don't know for him as men say wife is not family and they don't even have anything to benefit from getting married.

SpencerForbes:
I guess he’s also happy. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. What’s the essence of being a husband if you can't accept the other side of your partner? Kudos to him; by now, I’m sure he’s gotten used to it.

spiceadole:
I don't know if he is happy.
Whenever he gets tired, he knows what to do.
Divorce is an option.

SpencerForbes:
So will you be happy if he initiates it meanwhile you both have children and have you considered the mental health of your kids if they’ll be able to handle it or you’ll just make them hate their father and it is settled?

spiceadole:
When I was single, I guided my money so much that I would tell myself "Instead of a man to eat my money, let me rot in jail". ..and I don't collect money or gifts from men.Its never free.



I remember when I was dating my now husband, on my birthday, he called and texted me. no money , no gifts...as he had only agreed on my "no sex before marriage" principle on the condition that he wouldn't spend on me which I agreed .I was working and earning fairly okay .
I wasn't greedy or living above my means.


Few months later, it was his birthday.. I had a good amount of money in my savings. So I went to a boutique and started shopping for him.
Along the line, my sense returned.
I dropped the items I was buying for him.. and instead shopped for my siblings. Afterall, it was few days to Christmas.

On his birthday, I also called and texted him.
We got married 3 months later..
He started gifting me after we got married because he had started sleeping with me but I still find it impossible to give him anything which he low-key complains about it.

I don't acknowledge his birthday, valentine's Day or our anniversary with any gifts.

kiddaz:
Somebody else is doing for him what you're not willing to. He can't be that steeewwpd to accept such arrangements. You will be expecting gifts from me without reciprocating? You go chop wall
And you sound like a really boring wife. No doubt he must have a side chick or two else he won't last long

spiceadole:
Well he accepted the arrangement,married me within 8 months and didn't marry the somebody.


Also,congratulations to him ,his somebody and his side chicks.

The best relationship remains where there is no sex and no spending

But greed and lust won't allow people practise it.

Ladies allow themselves to be messed up because of their greed for material things while guys spend their fortune to satisfy their lustful desires.
Good for them.

As for me,I am a proud boring wife with 3 children.

kiddaz:
I'm not even arguing about that. It's the sad situation of no celebrating your husband once in a while with little gifts while he does it for you on occasions. It's just so sad.

It's not a matter of being a wife with kids , it's a matter of being selfishly self-centred. Start listening to his own complaints at least. Stop being rigid, you will not die if you gift him things once in a while. Try to care about his own happiness too .

And you the best relationship is loving someone who loves you back without inhibitors and conditions as you do them.

Deciding to not spend on eachother and not get sexual are choices you both can agree on but nothing beats mutual love and respect... These are obviously lacking in your marriage according to your contributions here. No wonder most men die before their time. The man even dey complain but you no send.