₦airaland Forum

Little21:
That's the kind of men I can never deal with. Since when we were young, we were thought to "think" and what do we use to think? We use our "brain". And since you doesn't think with your "brain" anymore, you prefer thinking with "something else" just stick with your thinking, and keep out.

2. A woman that's gonna understand and fight? Fight for who?
Marriage is for the both of you too do your best. And since you can't even do your best, just keep out.
Since the so called person you are trying to be with, can't seems to do the same for you and suddenly wanted to try "something new", you can as well move there completely and leave her life alone to someone who will choose her.


For the remaining words, am yet to understand Mens theory of, "marriage favors woman and doesn't favors man".
Here we get married to have kids and someone to love. But you guys talk like, the kids the wife have is hers alone..
She puts her life on line to have that kids, she may die in the process. Sometimes some woman have something like a little"mental issues" after giving birth. Your figure changes. You can't stay the same.
Marriage doesn't favor woman. It's just like a bond. Nothing else.
For doing all that, what the men can do is provide for the kids and the wife. And the woman is gonna be the one to watch after the kids. Just babysit a kid for a day, and you know women and men are going through the same thing.
And if you know marriage doesn't favors men, no need to get married. It's not a must. You can just do a contract with someone and take the child after he/she is born, and look after it yourself. There is absolutely no need to get married.
I don't know why you keep going into things that doesn't favors you. It's not a must.

daylay7:
You can't compare the western live to here. Over there, sex in cheap and alot of children dont even know their fathers. Infact, that is the problem. Because we compare ourselves with the western world. Thats the reason why divorce is rampant today.

It is not usual for a woman to want to try something new while in a marriage. Once she start thinking of that, it means she has lost her love for her husband and the marriage. But this wasnot so in the olden days.

daylay7:
I came across this on the social media and I want to know the opinion of naira nations. The question is, is payback cheating okay in a marriage?

ADVISE HIM, ONLY FOR MATURE MINDS.
I cheated on my wife one time in our 3rd year of marriage.. she saw a text from the lady and confronted me crying and asking me where she went wrong.. she spoke to me in such a way that I felt useless and ashamed of my self.. indeed she’s a good woman who has stood by me all these years and this is how I repay her.. I went sober.. and very remorseful.. I confessed everything to her and exposed the lady In question.. She cried.. for several days and night.. she starved herself.. she was almost slipping into depression but with Gods help and my constant apologizing and actions she pulled through.. she told me she has forgiven me and I should not worry no soul will ever know about it.. I was like God thank you for the blessed wife you gave me.. she returned to being my sweet, loving and affectionate wife again and we were able to heal from the hurt .. I promised her and vowed to God never to ever cheat on her as long as I’m alive and this is our 7th year I have kept that promise by Gods grace.. two weeks ago my wife told me she was traveling to attend a wedding in another state.. her friends baby sisters wedding.. she even bought a lace.. sewed it, bought gele, and a purse.. I helped her book her flight, I drove her to the airport and even gave her extra money for spending.. I took care of the kids while she was away (she was supposed to be gone for 4 days ) the next day.. our fist daughter woke up with a high fever and I was panicking.. I rushed her to the hospital and they put her on admission instantly cos she had severe malaria.. then I tried to reach my wife at least to inform her.. her numbers were all switched off.. I’m not the type to be calling my wife’s friends but I had to call the friend she told me she was going to see just to inform her of the emergency.. so Was shocked to hear that my wife said she was coming to her place.. at first i greeted her and said ah ah madam how the preparation coming up? She was like what preparation sir?? I said your sisters wedding.. she said which sister? I immediately knew something was not right but I pretended so as not to embarrass my wife any further .. I cut the call and tried to keep my cool.. after series of medication she was stable.. my wife called me hours later and was apologizing that her and her friend (the one I called went to market to do some shopping and decided to leave their fones at home so it won’t get lost) I said okay no problem.. she encouraged me to be strong and even prayed over the fine and sang for our daughter.. she returned home after 3 more days and I was already disgusted by her presence.. I tried to be calm and act normal until our daughter was very strong and recovered fully.. one morning after I dropped them off at school I returned home to my wife who was still in bed..
Then I asked her to get up we needed to talk.. I asked her politely where she travelled to but she was acting clueless and pretending I went for my friends sisters wedding nau.. didn’t I tell you.. why are you asking me again
She even tried to call the friend to ask her but I told her it’s fine she should not worry because I already talked to the friend and she told me she hasn’t seen you in a very long time.. I became furious!! Because she was even trying to deny to my face.. I pressed and pressed her until she confessed that she travelled with her lover to Ghana !! I got the shock of my entire life.. my own wife did not just cheat, she travelled all the way to defile herself I asked her why and she said she’s sorry.. that she felt betrayed when I cheated on her.. and that she hasn’t been able to get it of her head.. that’s why she decide to get some distraction.. it’s been 4 years ago since that one Incident I had.. and she was the one who prayed with me and begged God to forgive me.. only for her to be plotting her own.. I o don’t even know what I’m feeling in my heart presently.. I left the house and I’ve been staying at my late moms house .. she’s been calling me and sending me lots of epistles but I’m too weak to even face her right now.. how could she? My chest literally feels like exploding with pain.. the upsetting part is that my wife is extremely beautiful and her body is beyond amazing.. the thought that another man has seen it all and touched it and felt it and been inside her is just killing me I want to die already!! For the first time in my marriage I cried profusely like a baby.. I can’t stand it.. I’m disgusted and perplexed!!!! I don’t even know what to do next..
#copied

lordnkem000:
The truth is what it is my dear..
Most men love their wives but can't resist the temptations of testing new things especially when it's right in their grasps, it's wrong but am being honest. A woman holds the marriage, not the man. If the woman stops giving her best efforts, marriage falls. Women are the brains behind every home. So a woman must fight for her marriage, fight for her home against intruders. The man duty is to protect the woman and the marriage. That's what i mean...
As for the favor thing, I mentioned many things and how they all favor women, but u just talked about childbirth, shape, etc. These things are no big deals to me. Does the woman take care of the man's family bills? No. But the man is expected to spend on the woman's parents, train or sponsor her siblings, etc together with his own responsibilities to his marriage. The woman has all to gain in marriage. If men refuse to marry today, women will have no happiness and they will never feel fulfilled. But the man will even prosper and have less responsibility. Why do u think our celebrities most of them prefer babymama to marriage? because of the lesser responsibility.
Most women will be loyal as a babymama today but become wild as a wife

skj1377:
Oga , your wife travelled with her lover to Ghana??. Hmm. Anyways how old are you?. How does a woman with small kids and a husband travel with another man to another country?. You said your wife is beautiful with nice body, i guess she has constant male attention even after marriage. Anyways your wife is not the first or the last to do such as many cooperate ladies in financial institutions and high net worth companies also do such for financial and carrier gains. A good example is the story of the former FCMB boss who fathered two children in another man's marriage. You can imagine how many trips and hotels sessions she had with her boss and still went home to her husband afterwards.
I don't know what advice your looking for or what type of man you are but what happened to you happens alot in Nigeria.
My young men please and please avoid pretty ladies with great bodies . Go for the ordinary looking ladies intentionally. Don't allow a ladies beauty put you under pressure financially in relationship and marriage.

Little21:
That's why I said don't get married if you think it doesn't favors you. It's very simple.


And about the trying "something new", don't take it to heart when your wife also do the same. That's all I would say.

Little21:
It's very simple. Just be a faithful husband and a loyal one. It's not that hard.
After going around and trying something new, and your wife sees that, she definitely also will try something new.
You aren't the only one who can try "something new" keep that in mind.

@bolded. Divorce is gonna be much, cuz you can't be trying to do your best, and the other party is going around trying "something new", It can't work out.
So it's better for both parties to go different ways, and everyone is gonna be free and happy with each other's "something new".
It's TIRING to be the only one putting in effort, and the other party isn't helping. [b] Is that the kind of marriage you dreamed of having? [/b]If no, then it's best too put an end to it.

lordnkem000:
All u do is absob women of blames and that make it partial, u re just not being fair.
Men we agree on our faults and weaknesses, but why can't you women do same. We need good women to marry, unfortunately, today's women are worse than Satan. Just 3% are actually better. I actually put u in that 3% because u have made a good impression of urself to me

lordnkem000:
That's exactly what am saying, many men think with their dicks instead of their heads, we recognize that flaws and I must tell u it's not right. This is why it's important we have a wife who's loyal and helps us to fight this temptations. Once a woman understands this, she will know how to make her marriage work. It's not easy. Remember, marriage favors the woman and men has no benefits in it. We pay the dowry, pay the bride price, protect the woman, pay rents, pay school fees, stretch hands to the woman's family too. Take care of the bills at home, etc. All these favors the woman. Am yet to see what favors the man. So the least we expect is a loyal woman who's submissive and know her role, not a rival who bleeps around. Am not saying men should cheat, am saying the woman should understand the life of a man is so hard and complicated

Justkatty:
Haha
You want to be a bone on my neck?

daylay7:
I just dey return am as u dey give me hot hot.
. Its nice meeting on this platform

lordnkem000:
All u do is absob women of blames and that make it partial, u re just not being fair.
Men we agree on our faults and weaknesses, but why can't you women do same. We need good women to marry, unfortunately, today's women are worse than Satan. Just 3% are actually better. I actually put u in that 3% because u have made a good impression of urself to me

Lol 😂 😂 😂 Nkem, kindly go back to your previous posts and read again this time with an open mind then you will realize who has been "absorbing" the other. You even went as far as painting men as mindless creatures
Where did you agree? C'mon! I'm yet to see that both online or offline. The only time a man will agree to his shortcomings he will drag woman enter with "No one is perfect" quote You will hear " Erm... Nne, no one is perfect, even you have your flaws, just forgive and forget ehn" obim, omalicha..." Forget bikonu, you know I love you" . That's cajoling not even apology let alone agree to weakness or shortcomings. Lol. My dear don't patronize me!
You need good women to marry but you don't want to be good men yourselves. That's the problem, you want women to keep managing you while you remain unrefined and spoilt. When these women don't manage you but demand accountability, you call them Satan. Interesting!

Don't put me in 3% biko.... I worse pass those women self . While those women are nice enough to get to know you , I jump and pass.

Justkatty:
Oya Pele o.
My pleasure too.

Persephone1:
Lol 😂 😂 😂 Nkem, kindly go back to your previous posts and read again this time with an open mind then you will realize who has been "absorbing" the other. You even went as far as painting men as mindless creatures
Where did you agree? C'mon! I'm yet to see that both online or offline. The only time a man will agree to his shortcomings he will drag woman enter with "No one is perfect" quote You will hear " Erm... Nne, no one is perfect, even you have your flaws, just forgive and forget ehn" obim, omalicha..." Forget bikonu, you know I love you" . That's cajoling not even apology let alone agree to weakness or shortcomings. Lol. My dear don't patronize me!
You need good women to marry but you don't want to be good men yourselves. That's the problem, you want women to keep managing you while you remain unrefined and spoilt. When these women don't manage you but demand accountability, you call them Satan. Interesting!

Don't put me in 3% biko.... I worse pass those women self . While those women are nice enough to get to know you , I jump and pass.

Persephone1:
Lol 😂 😂 😂 Nkem, kindly go back to your previous posts and read again this time with an open mind then you will realize who has been "absorbing" the other. You even went as far as painting men as mindless creatures
Where did you agree? C'mon! I'm yet to see that both online or offline. The only time a man will agree to his shortcomings he will drag woman enter with "No one is perfect" quote You will hear " Erm... Nne, no one is perfect, even you have your flaws, just forgive and forget ehn" obim, omalicha..." Forget bikonu, you know I love you" . That's cajoling not even apology let alone agree to weakness or shortcomings. Lol. My dear don't patronize me!
You need good women to marry but you don't want to be good men yourselves. That's the problem, you want women to keep managing you while you remain unrefined and spoilt. When these women don't manage you but demand accountability, you call them Satan. Interesting!

Don't put me in 3% biko.... I worse pass those women self . While those women are nice enough to get to know you , I jump and pass.

daylay7:
I don dey follow u

lordnkem000:
Deep down u know I'm right, though I agree with some of your assertions. I am not saying we couldn't or shouldn't be better, all I'm saying is man was created with a lot of identical flaws due to the work load or responsibility or expectations that comes win being a man. Atleast that's how I've come to think and see it. A woman's sole responsibility is to be wife, which means a helper & home keeper. Therefore a promiscuous or cheating woman should never be kept, the society, the bible, everything mocks and abhor such man.
Myself I am not cheating, don't tolerate it, am not even in any relationship now and that's because breaking up gave me back my peace & helped me to want to become better. Honestly u re not worse, for starters, u re so intelligent, just see how u are holding a long conversation with me & etc, that's something 90% of today's women can't do. I've followed 80% of ur comments here & u really are awesome with ur ideas and input. Try allow me win u na, u too wise

Persephone1:
By they i will like to assume you meant women because literally women make the whole efforts in keeping marriage together, some men do too but it's not common. The reason most marriages fail and break up is because women aren't putting that extra effort anymore which i won't blame them for because it's TIRING. Fighting for who doesn't want to be won, enduring emotional abuse, doing all to create and maintain a home with someone who doesn't see anything wrong in bringing third party, building while the other party is destroying. And the in-laws, society, people.... Lol nahhhhhh marriage takes a toll on a woman who is in it alone. I don't blame women for not investing in marriages anymore after all they are not their husbands' blood according to most men.

Everyone has a deal breaker, for me it is cheating and to be honest I'm not sure if I can forgive it or let it go and pretend like nothing happened. It's not INTENTIONAL it's NATURAL for me. The image of the man's lips kissing another and his member in another's deepsea will always flash through my mind whenever we are together. I love my man pure and chaste same way I am, whatever he had done in the past remains there when with me . And cheating to me also mean "You weren't enough, you are not worth growing with so I find another" . That is betrayal . I really doubt if I can forgive a cheating partner. It cuts too deep for me.

So if any other woman/ man feels same, I'd be hypocritical to think or encourage him or her to stay. If you want a lasting marriage, don't do what you don't want others to do to you.

skj1377:
My dear your not realistic. Marriage is not relationship. If your lucky to even get a husband in the first place better keep him. If you walkaway from your marriage because of cheating your fooling yourself. Eventually, your new man if he is successful will cheat or you yourself will end up as a side chick of a successful married man( man cheating on his wife with you). Besides, the husband you left if comfortable or wealthy will get your replacement in a week or two but on the other hand even if your wealthy you may not find a new husband at all but just an ATM to a broke dude or sugar mummy to a Younger man cheating on his girlfriend. My dear if your married better think of your children and stay married. Serious married women fight to keep their man but only divorce the husband if he wants to officially marry a second wife or bring her home with him unofficially.

skj1377:
My dear your not realistic. Marriage is not relationship. If your lucky to even get a husband in the first place better keep him. If you walkaway from your marriage because of cheating your fooling yourself. Eventually, your new man if he is successful will cheat or you yourself will end up as a side chick of a successful married man( man cheating on his wife with you). Besides, the husband you left if comfortable or wealthy will get your replacement in a week or two but on the other hand even if your wealthy you may not find a new husband at all but just an ATM to a broke dude or sugar mummy to a Younger man cheating on his girlfriend. My dear if your married better think of your children and stay married. Serious married women fight to keep their man but only divorce the husband if he wants to officially marry a second wife or bring her home with him unofficially.

skj1377:
Do you think public figures like Peter obi , Tinubu or even sanwo olu have not cheated on their wife? Even to their knowledge? If they had divorced their husband or stop being good and loving partners today they will not be First lady. Cheating in marriage is very expensive so if your husband is managing his monthly salary cheating may not be affordable. Once a man is wealthy a woman has to go the extra mile to keep her man , marriage and family. Even you making so much noise about walking out is because your man or boyfriend has not spoilt you with luxury . If he has even at the boyfriend level you will fight tooth and nail to keep him.

Sniper101:
OP

I personally may not take back a cheating wife. But then, you're not me.

if you plan to continue in that marriage, I'll suggest you at least humiliate that wife of yours a bit before taking her back.
Go back to your house and send her packing to her father's house. Let everyone (who cares to know) know why you've sent her packing.

Bring her back after 3 to 4months and continue with your marriage. But in the course of these 3 to 4months, if she had visited that other man AGAIN, then "do not" take her back. Ever.

daylay7:
Thats not true. Even if she has a dozen or a score, if she wants to cheat, there is nothing stopping it.

daylay7:
I came across this on the social media and I want to know the opinion of naira nations. The question is, is payback cheating okay in a marriage?

ADVISE HIM, ONLY FOR MATURE MINDS.
I cheated on my wife one time in our 3rd year of marriage.. she saw a text from the lady and confronted me crying and asking me where she went wrong.. she spoke to me in such a way that I felt useless and ashamed of my self.. indeed she’s a good woman who has stood by me all these years and this is how I repay her.. I went sober.. and very remorseful.. I confessed everything to her and exposed the lady In question.. She cried.. for several days and night.. she starved herself.. she was almost slipping into depression but with Gods help and my constant apologizing and actions she pulled through.. she told me she has forgiven me and I should not worry no soul will ever know about it.. I was like God thank you for the blessed wife you gave me.. she returned to being my sweet, loving and affectionate wife again and we were able to heal from the hurt .. I promised her and vowed to God never to ever cheat on her as long as I’m alive and this is our 7th year I have kept that promise by Gods grace.. two weeks ago my wife told me she was traveling to attend a wedding in another state.. her friends baby sisters wedding.. she even bought a lace.. sewed it, bought gele, and a purse.. I helped her book her flight, I drove her to the airport and even gave her extra money for spending.. I took care of the kids while she was away (she was supposed to be gone for 4 days ) the next day.. our fist daughter woke up with a high fever and I was panicking.. I rushed her to the hospital and they put her on admission instantly cos she had severe malaria.. then I tried to reach my wife at least to inform her.. her numbers were all switched off.. I’m not the type to be calling my wife’s friends but I had to call the friend she told me she was going to see just to inform her of the emergency.. so Was shocked to hear that my wife said she was coming to her place.. at first i greeted her and said ah ah madam how the preparation coming up? She was like what preparation sir?? I said your sisters wedding.. she said which sister? I immediately knew something was not right but I pretended so as not to embarrass my wife any further .. I cut the call and tried to keep my cool.. after series of medication she was stable.. my wife called me hours later and was apologizing that her and her friend (the one I called went to market to do some shopping and decided to leave their fones at home so it won’t get lost) I said okay no problem.. she encouraged me to be strong and even prayed over the fine and sang for our daughter.. she returned home after 3 more days and I was already disgusted by her presence.. I tried to be calm and act normal until our daughter was very strong and recovered fully.. one morning after I dropped them off at school I returned home to my wife who was still in bed..
Then I asked her to get up we needed to talk.. I asked her politely where she travelled to but she was acting clueless and pretending I went for my friends sisters wedding nau.. didn’t I tell you.. why are you asking me again
She even tried to call the friend to ask her but I told her it’s fine she should not worry because I already talked to the friend and she told me she hasn’t seen you in a very long time.. I became furious!! Because she was even trying to deny to my face.. I pressed and pressed her until she confessed that she travelled with her lover to Ghana !! I got the shock of my entire life.. my own wife did not just cheat, she travelled all the way to defile herself I asked her why and she said she’s sorry.. that she felt betrayed when I cheated on her.. and that she hasn’t been able to get it of her head.. that’s why she decide to get some distraction.. it’s been 4 years ago since that one Incident I had.. and she was the one who prayed with me and begged God to forgive me.. only for her to be plotting her own.. I o don’t even know what I’m feeling in my heart presently.. I left the house and I’ve been staying at my late moms house .. she’s been calling me and sending me lots of epistles but I’m too weak to even face her right now.. how could she? My chest literally feels like exploding with pain.. the upsetting part is that my wife is extremely beautiful and her body is beyond amazing.. the thought that another man has seen it all and touched it and felt it and been inside her is just killing me I want to die already!! For the first time in my marriage I cried profusely like a baby.. I can’t stand it.. I’m disgusted and perplexed!!!! I don’t even know what to do next..
#copied

daylay7:
I came across this on the social media and I want to know the opinion of naira nations. The question is, is payback cheating okay in a marriage?

ADVISE HIM, ONLY FOR MATURE MINDS.
I cheated on my wife one time in our 3rd year of marriage.. she saw a text from the lady and confronted me crying and asking me where she went wrong.. she spoke to me in such a way that I felt useless and ashamed of my self.. indeed she’s a good woman who has stood by me all these years and this is how I repay her.. I went sober.. and very remorseful.. I confessed everything to her and exposed the lady In question.. She cried.. for several days and night.. she starved herself.. she was almost slipping into depression but with Gods help and my constant apologizing and actions she pulled through.. she told me she has forgiven me and I should not worry no soul will ever know about it.. I was like God thank you for the blessed wife you gave me.. she returned to being my sweet, loving and affectionate wife again and we were able to heal from the hurt .. I promised her and vowed to God never to ever cheat on her as long as I’m alive and this is our 7th year I have kept that promise by Gods grace.. two weeks ago my wife told me she was traveling to attend a wedding in another state.. her friends baby sisters wedding.. she even bought a lace.. sewed it, bought gele, and a purse.. I helped her book her flight, I drove her to the airport and even gave her extra money for spending.. I took care of the kids while she was away (she was supposed to be gone for 4 days ) the next day.. our fist daughter woke up with a high fever and I was panicking.. I rushed her to the hospital and they put her on admission instantly cos she had severe malaria.. then I tried to reach my wife at least to inform her.. her numbers were all switched off.. I’m not the type to be calling my wife’s friends but I had to call the friend she told me she was going to see just to inform her of the emergency.. so Was shocked to hear that my wife said she was coming to her place.. at first i greeted her and said ah ah madam how the preparation coming up? She was like what preparation sir?? I said your sisters wedding.. she said which sister? I immediately knew something was not right but I pretended so as not to embarrass my wife any further .. I cut the call and tried to keep my cool.. after series of medication she was stable.. my wife called me hours later and was apologizing that her and her friend (the one I called went to market to do some shopping and decided to leave their fones at home so it won’t get lost) I said okay no problem.. she encouraged me to be strong and even prayed over the fine and sang for our daughter.. she returned home after 3 more days and I was already disgusted by her presence.. I tried to be calm and act normal until our daughter was very strong and recovered fully.. one morning after I dropped them off at school I returned home to my wife who was still in bed..
Then I asked her to get up we needed to talk.. I asked her politely where she travelled to but she was acting clueless and pretending I went for my friends sisters wedding nau.. didn’t I tell you.. why are you asking me again
She even tried to call the friend to ask her but I told her it’s fine she should not worry because I already talked to the friend and she told me she hasn’t seen you in a very long time.. I became furious!! Because she was even trying to deny to my face.. I pressed and pressed her until she confessed that she travelled with her lover to Ghana !! I got the shock of my entire life.. my own wife did not just cheat, she travelled all the way to defile herself I asked her why and she said she’s sorry.. that she felt betrayed when I cheated on her.. and that she hasn’t been able to get it of her head.. that’s why she decide to get some distraction.. it’s been 4 years ago since that one Incident I had.. and she was the one who prayed with me and begged God to forgive me.. only for her to be plotting her own.. I o don’t even know what I’m feeling in my heart presently.. I left the house and I’ve been staying at my late moms house .. she’s been calling me and sending me lots of epistles but I’m too weak to even face her right now.. how could she? My chest literally feels like exploding with pain.. the upsetting part is that my wife is extremely beautiful and her body is beyond amazing.. the thought that another man has seen it all and touched it and felt it and been inside her is just killing me I want to die already!! For the first time in my marriage I cried profusely like a baby.. I can’t stand it.. I’m disgusted and perplexed!!!! I don’t even know what to do next..
#copied

daylay7:
100%

Jman06:
Reading through this epistle, several clues gave it out as a fake story but many nairalanders who responded earlier didn't even notice that it's a made up story.

You escorted your wife to the airport and saw her take off alone yet you said she confessed to traveling to Ghana with a lover!

When you claimed you called her friend, the tone you said her friend responded to you is not typical of a friend. If this story was true, I'm sure that immediately you called the friend and started asking about the wedding, a typical Nigerian friend would decode that something was amiss and tried to play along to cover up for her friend.

Etc