₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
. Well, that is to be expected since 14 years in a marriage likely means she did not invest much in her own self-growth and person. The suffering and regret are part of growing pains. She will eventually pick herself up by her boots and begin working on herself. That is not a bad thing, but a good thing, something that studies have shown most women eventually get around to doing after they leave a marriage. She is lucky she does not have the burden of caring for her kids while going through it. 🥱🥱🥱

Yeah, you're right. She's lucky not to have those kids with her. The man is in Canada with his present wife and kids who helped him facilitate everything with her money and sweat.

Josywhyte:
➜Yeah, you're right. She's lucky not to have those kids with her. The man is in Canada with his present wife and kids who helped him facilitate everything with her money and sweat.

It's OK! The ex-wife need not concern herself with all of that. She has her freedom and life, and the years of experience she needs to restart her life, this time centered around her own health and wellbeing, and possibly that of her children, the moment she becomes situated enough to begin sending them some pocket money.🥱🥱🥱

Afriifa:
As a man you control your woman by not being afraid of trouble. You make her afraid of your trouble and not the other way round.

very true

No it is not society or church it is the fact u are a weak man and don't know ur worth ....if a woman don't show u enough respect ..divorce her ,dont make any woman special unless she is special and special women respect ,cherish and treat their hubby as kings, if she don't treat u so and u let her be then u are a terrible man that deserve what u get or maybe u have a very terrible character that doesn't demand or deserve respect or maybe u don't know ur worth and a simp ..society doesn't change nothing and no church has power to direct your home .the sole power lies with u as a man...know ur worth and protect it ...not even having children prevents u from sending a disrespectful spouse parking and getting someone else ..don't let anybody tell u all men or women are the ..the biggest lie of the century

Pukkalolo:
As a Man, You can pay her bride price with blood, sweat… You can slave 12-hour days, six days a week working to provide for her, to fund the house bills, the kids' school fees and feeding, take care of her expenses, send money to her family back home….

You can literally stand in front of a truck to save her life, die for her without a second thought…

Regardless of that… She'd still raise her voice at you in your own house. Still roll her eyes when you open your mouth, as if your words are already beneath her notice.
Still talk back to you with that sharp, cutting tone she’d never dare use on her boss, her pastor, or the gym instructor who barks orders at her. Still dismiss your opinion mid-sentence, like it’s background noise, like you’re her annoying younger brother instead of the man who carries the roof over her head.

And worse…sometimes even straight-up punish you by locking her legs and denying you sex for days, weeks or months, just to prove a point.


Meanwhile, the same woman walks into her boss's office, softens her tone, nods quickly, says "Yes sir" without hesitation, stays late if asked, absorbs criticism from her Boss calmly.


The same woman sits in church, hangs on every word her pastor drops, kneels down for him to lay his hands on her, calls him "My Daddy in the Lord," never dares interrupt or question his authority.

The same woman shows up to the gym, lets the instructor bark orders, correct her by sexually touching her hips, ass, thighs, laps… and she obeys, sweats, smiles through the pain, says "Thank you sir" after.

Why?

Why does she highly respect her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors but disrespect you her husband/ loyal boyfriend?

Because her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors occupy frames of unapologetic dominance, consequence, and zero emotional neediness…

Her boss doesn't need her approval to exist. He doesn't plead for her respect. He demand it with consequences baked in: miss a deadline and the salary vanishes… He can fire her tomorrow. Demote her. His world doesn't collapse if she walks away angry. So he gives orders, expects compliance. She feels his dominance. That dominance triggers respect, and subconscious attraction in her.

Her pastor doesn’t need emotional support from her. No “honey, do you think I should bla bla bla?”. He doesn't need her approval… He stands on a pulpit and speaks with confidence, as if he and God just ate breakfast that morning.

Her gym instructor… Same thing. He pushes her limits, doesn't care if she likes him… he cares if she progresses. He punishes laziness with more reps, more pain. No negotiation. No "please babe, can you bla bla bla?" He literally just gives raw directive energy.

Lions roar and the pride moves. Sheep bleat and hope someone listens. Most husbands bleat. Most husbands are Sheeps.

Here's the bitter truth…

The moment you become her "husband," is the moment you lose the very polarity that made her wet for you in the first place.

Why?

Because society, church, media, aunties tell you "husband" means:

- Provider first, leader second (or never).

- Soften your masculinity to "keep peace."

- Avoid conflict at all costs ("happy wife, happy life".

- Seek her agreement before making any decisions.

- Apologize even when you're right.



This is how a husband becomes predictable, needy for her sex, her “yes.” You trade being a demanding lion for being her accommodating sheep… and then act surprised when the jungle laws still apply.

Remember, lions sit at the top of the food chain. So lions get the best food. That’s exactly why her pastor, her boss, and her gym instructor get her best behavior: submissive, eager-to-please version of her… the soft voice, the quick “Yes sir,” the bowed head, the extra effort…



Look, Men…

Women are wired (evolutionarily, psychologically, call it what you want) to feel a raw attraction toward men who demand… not beg, not negotiate, not explain themselves...

Demanding men create tension. Tension creates heat. Heat creates sexual attraction or submission.


Boss demands output… she delivers or loses income. That create tension and heat. So she works hard to please her Boss.


You: the husband or the loyal boyfriend , demand nothing real from her.
Or when you do, it sounds weak like this:
“Please don’t talk to me like that…”

No consequence. No grounded dominance.

So she frustrate you,. She pushes. She argues. She gives you attitude.

Not because she’s evil. Not because she’s a bad wife. But because something primal in her is whispering:
“Why does this man feel so weak?” or “Did I marry a man… or a boy who needs my approval to function?”

And every time you fold, over-explain, bribe with gifts, or avoid confrontation to “keep the peace,” you don’t create peace.
You confirm your own weakness.

And female attraction doesn’t attach to weakness. It slowly detaches from it. Then she starts cheating on you.

Be wise, brothers...

Stay blessed

LordIsaac:
From day 1, I stand my ground with them and have zero tolerance for even banters.

I dey tell you bro, one of my ex even said that am arrogant and pompous, that am too rigid for her liking.

Pukkalolo:
As a Man, You can pay her bride price with blood, sweat… You can slave 12-hour days, six days a week working to provide for her, to fund the house bills, the kids' school fees and feeding, take care of her expenses, send money to her family back home….

You can literally stand in front of a truck to save her life, die for her without a second thought…

Regardless of that… She'd still raise her voice at you in your own house. Still roll her eyes when you open your mouth, as if your words are already beneath her notice.
Still talk back to you with that sharp, cutting tone she’d never dare use on her boss, her pastor, or the gym instructor who barks orders at her. Still dismiss your opinion mid-sentence, like it’s background noise, like you’re her annoying younger brother instead of the man who carries the roof over her head.

And worse…sometimes even straight-up punish you by locking her legs and denying you sex for days, weeks or months, just to prove a point.


Meanwhile, the same woman walks into her boss's office, softens her tone, nods quickly, says "Yes sir" without hesitation, stays late if asked, absorbs criticism from her Boss calmly.


The same woman sits in church, hangs on every word her pastor drops, kneels down for him to lay his hands on her, calls him "My Daddy in the Lord," never dares interrupt or question his authority.

The same woman shows up to the gym, lets the instructor bark orders, correct her by sexually touching her hips, ass, thighs, laps… and she obeys, sweats, smiles through the pain, says "Thank you sir" after.

Why?

Why does she highly respect her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors but disrespect you her husband/ loyal boyfriend?

Because her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors occupy frames of unapologetic dominance, consequence, and zero emotional neediness…

Her boss doesn't need her approval to exist. He doesn't plead for her respect. He demand it with consequences baked in: miss a deadline and the salary vanishes… He can fire her tomorrow. Demote her. His world doesn't collapse if she walks away angry. So he gives orders, expects compliance. She feels his dominance. That dominance triggers respect, and subconscious attraction in her.

Her pastor doesn’t need emotional support from her. No “honey, do you think I should bla bla bla?”. He doesn't need her approval… He stands on a pulpit and speaks with confidence, as if he and God just ate breakfast that morning.

Her gym instructor… Same thing. He pushes her limits, doesn't care if she likes him… he cares if she progresses. He punishes laziness with more reps, more pain. No negotiation. No "please babe, can you bla bla bla?" He literally just gives raw directive energy.

Lions roar and the pride moves. Sheep bleat and hope someone listens. Most husbands bleat. Most husbands are Sheeps.

Here's the bitter truth…

The moment you become her "husband," is the moment you lose the very polarity that made her wet for you in the first place.

Why?

Because society, church, media, aunties tell you "husband" means:

- Provider first, leader second (or never).

- Soften your masculinity to "keep peace."

- Avoid conflict at all costs ("happy wife, happy life".

- Seek her agreement before making any decisions.

- Apologize even when you're right.



This is how a husband becomes predictable, needy for her sex, her “yes.” You trade being a demanding lion for being her accommodating sheep… and then act surprised when the jungle laws still apply.

Remember, lions sit at the top of the food chain. So lions get the best food. That’s exactly why her pastor, her boss, and her gym instructor get her best behavior: submissive, eager-to-please version of her… the soft voice, the quick “Yes sir,” the bowed head, the extra effort…



Look, Men…

Women are wired (evolutionarily, psychologically, call it what you want) to feel a raw attraction toward men who demand… not beg, not negotiate, not explain themselves...

Demanding men create tension. Tension creates heat. Heat creates sexual attraction or submission.


Boss demands output… she delivers or loses income. That create tension and heat. So she works hard to please her Boss.


You: the husband or the loyal boyfriend , demand nothing real from her.
Or when you do, it sounds weak like this:
“Please don’t talk to me like that…”

No consequence. No grounded dominance.

So she frustrate you,. She pushes. She argues. She gives you attitude.

Not because she’s evil. Not because she’s a bad wife. But because something primal in her is whispering:
“Why does this man feel so weak?” or “Did I marry a man… or a boy who needs my approval to function?”

And every time you fold, over-explain, bribe with gifts, or avoid confrontation to “keep the peace,” you don’t create peace.
You confirm your own weakness.

And female attraction doesn’t attach to weakness. It slowly detaches from it. Then she starts cheating on you.

Be wise, brothers...

Stay blessed

So my dear writer, do you think you know more than our creator who gave the rules for marriage in Ephesians chapter 5?
Where He commanded a husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her? For wives to respect their husbands, for the two to submit to one another? Etc, Or have you read Christian love as expounded in 1 Corinthians. Chapter 13:4-7?
All you have written is a worldly opinion in error. It can never engender a happy home.
Submit to what's in the Bible if you are a Christian and see the Lord's power give you a stable home.
Thank you.

Kobojunkie:
. Well, that is to be expected since 14 years in a marriage likely means she did not invest much in her own self-growth and person. The suffering and regret are part of growing pains. She will eventually pick herself up by her boots and begin working on herself. That is not a bad thing, but a good thing, something that studies have shown most women eventually get around to doing after they leave a marriage. She is lucky she does not have the burden of caring for her kids while going through it. 🥱🥱🥱

Speaking from both sides of your mouth

Approbation and reprobation is not permitted.

First you wrote with glee that hope she left with the kids

After you are told the kids are with the man, you are all of a sudden happy for her that she doesn't have the "burden" of children to cater for.

mirrael68:
➜So my dear writer, do you think you know more than our creator (Paul) who gave the rules for marriage in Ephesians chapter 5?
Where He (Paul) commanded(suggestion) a husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her? (Paul suggestion) For wives to respect their husbands, for the two to submit to one another? Etc, Or have you read (Paul's suggestion) Christian love as expounded in 1 Corinthians. Chapter 13:4-7?
All you have written is a worldly opinion in error. It can never engender a happy home. Submit to what's in the Bible (Paul) if you are a Christian and see the Lord's (Paul's) power give you a stable home. Thank you.

You are one of dem worshipper's of Paul, right?

Obainomilano:
No it is not society or church it is the fact u are a weak man and don't know ur worth ....if a woman don't show u enough respect ..divorce her ,dont make any woman special unless she is special and special women respect ,cherish and treat their hubby as kings, if she don't treat u so and u let her be then u are a terrible man that deserve what u get or maybe u have a very terrible character that doesn't demand or deserve respect or maybe u don't know ur worth and a simp ..society doesn't change nothing and no church has power to direct your home .the sole power lies with u as a man...know ur worth and protect it ...not even having children prevents u from sending a disrespectful spouse parking and getting someone else ..don't let anybody tell u all men or women are the ..the biggest lie of the century

You are completely wrong!
Is your home happy with these your draconian approach? How many women will you divorce? Is your wife your partner or your slave? Are you her husband or emperor? Whoever told you the husband is king in an overbearing manner?
Marriage rules were not set by any church. Go read the Bible for yourself and humbly learn.
If marriage doesn't humble any man or woman then heaven will be far for you!
If you enter marriage and you learn self denial as your foundation, the man especially your home will be peaceful, your prayers will be answered and heaven will be sure.
All these carnality taught here are rubbish. Will only lead to an unhappy home for everybody and a lonely old age full of regrets for the husband especially.

mariovito:
➜Speaking from both sides of your mouth Approbation and reprobation is not permitted.
➜ First you wrote with glee that hope she left with the kids
➜ After you are told the kids are with the man, you are all of a sudden happy for her that she doesn't have the "burden" of children to cater for.

1. What are you particularly high on?

2. Yes, I am glad she left the kids with the man, so they do not have to suffer in poverty with her while she finally gets around to working on her financial independence, something she should have worked on and maintained throughout the marriage. 🥱🥱

3. You seem to be projecting your delusions my way.🥱🥱

I would rather a woman leave the children with the man so she can first get her head and life together, so she can then begin to pay child support towards the raising of her own children or seek shared custody— never custody. I am for divorce when two folks can no longer tolerate and mutually respect each other. However, I am more on the side of the children than of anyone else. What problem do you have with that? 🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
You are one of dem worshipper's of Paul, right?

No one worships St. Paul.
Jesus explained the Gospel to him in ways no one else had the privilege of and sent him principally to the gentile nations.
Even then all he said are corroborated by other apostles and prophets.
But the children of the bondwoman always want to oppose the Gospel they refuse to accept and that came down 600+ years before an opposite book "fell down from the skies for them"

Kobojunkie:
. I am glad he is doing well and decided to keep the kids. That way, the ex-wife can also have the freedom to work on herself and pursue her own life and dreams away from a marriage she was also probably not happy in. It is a win-win for both. 🥱🥱🥱

So you think the laws that favored women in child custody cases were put there by mistake

Keep deceiving people. There's no woman who wants to be called mother that will be happy to pursue any bad dream. Stop deceiving people. Even women who do this out of circumstances beyond their control regret this. Maternal instinct is not there for fun.

mirrael68:
➜ No one worships St. Paul.
➜ Jesus explained the Gospel to him in ways no one else had the privilege of and sent him principally to the gentile nations.
Even then all he said are corroborated by other apostles and prophets.
But the children of the bondwoman always want to oppose the Gospel they refuse to accept and that came down 600+ years before an opposite book "fell down from the skies for them"

You literally claimed that Paul's suggestions and opinions expressed in his letters are words of God to you. That literally makes you a worshipper of Paul. 🥱🥱🥱

2. If you have ever actually read the books of the Gospels, you would find that the claims you made have no connection to the Gospels. Also, the Gospels claim that only those of the bloodline of Jacob are welcome, but you Christians claim Paul opened the door against the will of YHWH himself and His Gospel to even those considered dogs in this. 🥱🥱🥱

SixSeven:
➜So you think the laws that favored women in child custody cases were put there by mistake
➜ Keep deceiving people. There's no woman who wants to be called mother that will be happy to pursue any bad dream. Stop deceiving people. Even women who do this out of circumstances beyond their control regret this. Maternal instinct is not there for fun.

1. What in the world are you on about? 🥱🥱🥱

2. Woman who wants to be called a mother? Pursue a bad dream? Maternal instinct? Are you high? 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
1. What in the world are you on about? 🥱🥱🥱

2. Woman who wants to be called a mother? Pursue a bad dream? Maternal instinct? Are you high? 🥱🥱🥱

No mother wants to abandon her children except she's high so please get off your high horse with a fake happiness.

Since you've been asking everyone who responds to you if they are high, please let me go higher. Don't bother replying.

SixSeven:
➜No mother wants to abandon her children except she's high so please get off your high horse with a fake happiness.

Storyland! 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Most Nigerian men obey their pastors, their bosses, their tailors, and photographers as well. However, we are told those men ought also to expect their wives, with whom they share a bed, to obey them. Do the same men obey their wives, too? 🥱🥱🥱

Abev keep quiet and stop defending your confused gender...

I no even wan read anything again.

If that's the case, whose silly child would still think they have a life partner?

Shey na until dem put knife for ya neck you go understand say dem wan kih you?

Gods forbid such useless descendants...

PaNnamdi:
➜Abev keep quiet and stop defending your confused gender...

So, it is not that the men who equally obey their pastors, bosses, tailors, and photographers are confused in thinking women should submit to them simply because they are married and share their beds?🥱🥱🥱

You have spoken well

Pukkalolo:
As a Man, You can pay her bride price with blood, sweat… You can slave 12-hour days, six days a week working to provide for her, to fund the house bills, the kids' school fees and feeding, take care of her expenses, send money to her family back home….

You can literally stand in front of a truck to save her life, die for her without a second thought…

Regardless of that… She'd still raise her voice at you in your own house. Still roll her eyes when you open your mouth, as if your words are already beneath her notice.
Still talk back to you with that sharp, cutting tone she’d never dare use on her boss, her pastor, or the gym instructor who barks orders at her. Still dismiss your opinion mid-sentence, like it’s background noise, like you’re her annoying younger brother instead of the man who carries the roof over her head.

And worse…sometimes even straight-up punish you by locking her legs and denying you sex for days, weeks or months, just to prove a point.


Meanwhile, the same woman walks into her boss's office, softens her tone, nods quickly, says "Yes sir" without hesitation, stays late if asked, absorbs criticism from her Boss calmly.


The same woman sits in church, hangs on every word her pastor drops, kneels down for him to lay his hands on her, calls him "My Daddy in the Lord," never dares interrupt or question his authority.

The same woman shows up to the gym, lets the instructor bark orders, correct her by sexually touching her hips, ass, thighs, laps… and she obeys, sweats, smiles through the pain, says "Thank you sir" after.

Why?

Why does she highly respect her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors but disrespect you her husband/ loyal boyfriend?

Because her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors occupy frames of unapologetic dominance, consequence, and zero emotional neediness…

Her boss doesn't need her approval to exist. He doesn't plead for her respect. He demand it with consequences baked in: miss a deadline and the salary vanishes… He can fire her tomorrow. Demote her. His world doesn't collapse if she walks away angry. So he gives orders, expects compliance. She feels his dominance. That dominance triggers respect, and subconscious attraction in her.

Her pastor doesn’t need emotional support from her. No “honey, do you think I should bla bla bla?”. He doesn't need her approval… He stands on a pulpit and speaks with confidence, as if he and God just ate breakfast that morning.

Her gym instructor… Same thing. He pushes her limits, doesn't care if she likes him… he cares if she progresses. He punishes laziness with more reps, more pain. No negotiation. No "please babe, can you bla bla bla?" He literally just gives raw directive energy.

Lions roar and the pride moves. Sheep bleat and hope someone listens. Most husbands bleat. Most husbands are Sheeps.

Here's the bitter truth…

The moment you become her "husband," is the moment you lose the very polarity that made her wet for you in the first place.

Why?

Because society, church, media, aunties tell you "husband" means:

- Provider first, leader second (or never).

- Soften your masculinity to "keep peace."

- Avoid conflict at all costs ("happy wife, happy life".

- Seek her agreement before making any decisions.

- Apologize even when you're right.



This is how a husband becomes predictable, needy for her sex, her “yes.” You trade being a demanding lion for being her accommodating sheep… and then act surprised when the jungle laws still apply.

Remember, lions sit at the top of the food chain. So lions get the best food. That’s exactly why her pastor, her boss, and her gym instructor get her best behavior: submissive, eager-to-please version of her… the soft voice, the quick “Yes sir,” the bowed head, the extra effort…



Look, Men…

Women are wired (evolutionarily, psychologically, call it what you want) to feel a raw attraction toward men who demand… not beg, not negotiate, not explain themselves...

Demanding men create tension. Tension creates heat. Heat creates sexual attraction or submission.


Boss demands output… she delivers or loses income. That create tension and heat. So she works hard to please her Boss.


You: the husband or the loyal boyfriend , demand nothing real from her.
Or when you do, it sounds weak like this:
“Please don’t talk to me like that…”

No consequence. No grounded dominance.

So she frustrate you,. She pushes. She argues. She gives you attitude.

Not because she’s evil. Not because she’s a bad wife. But because something primal in her is whispering:
“Why does this man feel so weak?” or “Did I marry a man… or a boy who needs my approval to function?”

And every time you fold, over-explain, bribe with gifts, or avoid confrontation to “keep the peace,” you don’t create peace.
You confirm your own weakness.

And female attraction doesn’t attach to weakness. It slowly detaches from it. Then she starts cheating on you.

Be wise, brothers...

Stay blessed

The same boss, pastors even G.Os , and gym instructor face worse from their wives than you can imagine. Don't let one unmarried guy destroy your marriage with unrealistic write up. Manage your wife in the best way you can have peace for the sake of your children.

YOU ARE Maad....,!!!

MAKE SHE GO MARRY THEM THEN.

Who tell you say the wife of a pastor does not argue or disagree with them or the gym tutor or the boss at work? A lot of cats and dogs relationship nowadays and claiming to be born again and children of God. The husband and the wife are meant to be friends that see from different perspectives and not enemies. The fact that your wife has wisdom and she is prudent does not mean she is rude for disagreeing with you as a man. Men love your wife and wife submit to your husband. That is the law and order.

Pukkalolo:
And female attraction doesn’t attach to weakness. It slowly detaches from it. Then she starts cheating on you.

Be wise, brothers...

Stay blessed

Trash. When e reach your turn roar like lion. You think marriage is about all this nonsense you are writing? Go to married men who have been happily married for decades to learn what makes a marriage work, not from internet bros who have mummy and daddy issues.

Shior. You have a lot of growing up to do.

Angelfrost:
Lol... Been married for ages, and I honestly can't relate with what Op is saying.

Not saying you are wrong, but I believe it's an individual thing.

The OP is rubbish. You will know the unmarried ones by what they regurgitate after listening to men who can't even keep a stable relationship, talk more of a wife at home. They come to advice married people about marriage when they can't even keep a relationship.

Strong man this, alpha male that. Check them well, their head no correct.

The supposed spiritual head, boss or gym instructor sees the same at home because of over familiarity.

mariovito:
Speaking from both sides of your mouth

Approbation and reprobation is not permitted.

First you wrote with glee that hope she left with the kids

After you are told the kids are with the man, you are all of a sudden happy for her that she doesn't have the "burden" of children to cater for.

Nice observation.. . Na their type dey encourage woman to gang up against her husband.

Ishilove:
The OP is rubbish. You will know the unmarried ones by what they regurgitate after listening to men who can't even keep a stable relationship, talk more of a wife at home. They come to advice married people about marriage when they can't even keep a relationship.

Strong man this, alpha male that. Check them well, their head no correct.

Hahahaha!!!

The toxic masculinity is just weird.

I think it all dies down to the type of man you are and the type of woman you marry cause in some cases she will obey all those people and still respect you too, but just like someone said most disrespect comes from over familiarity and when she knows he can't do anything to me he'll only talk and still beg me when i give him attitude.

Liverpoolfc:
The same boss, pastors even G.Os , and gym instructor face worse from their wives than you can imagine. Don't let one unmarried guy destroy your marriage with unrealistic write up. Manage your wife in the best way you can have peace for the sake of your children.