₦airaland Forum

Bro, firstly things are generally very bad in the country, especially economically. So the issue of low savings monthly is actually something a bit general. As for your wife not adding any value to your life , especially economically, it's best you have a serious chat with her about it, if it persists, you can file for a divorce.

Time is too short to waste it in an unhealthy union.

Na physique you marry. You didn’t think through it.

How can you even have 2 children in 3 years, when it’s not that you have married for long without babies?

Oga, show her a warning ⚠️ card.

Kobojunkie:
A helpmate as defined by whom or what? The marriage contract that is signed by the man and woman in question? Or the religious delusions that you specifically operate under? 🥱🥱

2. Marriage as partnership only applies if and only if the couple in question chose to enter into the agreement that is marriage as partners and not as master-slaves, the default traditional option in much of Nigeria. 🥱🥱

3. The woman in question did pull her weight. She had two kids, keeps the home and even tried her hands at business for a while. What exactly are you dead set on blaming on this woman? 🥱🥱

how long will you continue this ? Because it's getting boring already.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

bro, but you can afford the bills. Why are you complaining? If she starts making more money than you now, you will still complain. Keep up the good work boss. It's not easy

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

These generation of weak mean are going to be the death of society. This is the first time I am seeing a man complain about providing for his family.

I don't really know what to say to this , because mine also ( than God say na just one she born for me ) social media is the order of her days , cropping and resending some unreasonable words , finally though , she's at her papa house , shaking butt and admiring her face on status .. I can't just do it .. you've got nothing upstairs, not willing to do Anything to support the house , no any form of team work .. please go bavk to your papa house ni ..

morgstreme:
If you"overthink" on how you are becoming a Billionaire,you won't even notice your wife's not doing anything to add value to anyone or even yourself because you already are value..

Think and act like a Billionaire!

When you're the only one with Growth and Wealth mindset, there are some conversations you can't have with your wife anymore, because she'll just be clueless - you can't take her to social gatherings with high ranking people, because all she knows is skit and self-acclaimed influencer bhuffuns who give half-baked advice online.

If you're okay with a maid-wife, that's fine - but not this soul.

Stop giving her money if she asks for tell her no sales

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

What other values do you want from someone who gave you two children in three years? Is it not too early?
Don't be a wicked man...

hopeforcharles:
You are a w*cked Soul.
Instead of you to understand the plight of this young man and give a constructive assistance you are heaping the problems on him, In this economy why wount she assist? This issue of laziness is causing a strain in the marriage already and if not handled properly will be come a bigger issue.

You're a more weeked soul
You no get sisters?

Someone gave him two children in just three and he still want her to be hustling in the sun.
Do you know what it takes to take care of the house, wash, cook and take care of two children?
Make una dey think o...

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

With this kind of mentality, don't blame guys for reverting to just having baby mamas then adopt co-parenting system, since marriage to a woman has now turned to orphanage. Having a lazy jobless woman as a wife can be so stressful and exhausting. There won't be allowance for the man to grow.

Kobojunkie:
1. You married a woman who had nothing doing and no skills. Then you tried forcing her to become business savvy without her showing before hand that she has necessary skills and temperament for such. And then wonder why it didn't work or why you have yet to, after 2 kids with her, made a business wiz out of her. Essentially, your plan to mold the women into that which is of your dream failed and you are here to blame her for it. 🥱😩

2. She is a wife. She came to you as just a wife and you accepted, married and made her have your kids just as that. But with the economy how pinching your arse, you want to pretend she was supposed to magically transform into more than just the wife your married her as.)😩😩😩

3. She likely showed the same level of effort when you married her too. So what has changed if not you? Why are You desperately trying to blame her for what seems a you problem? 🥱🥱🥱

u always find a to put excuse for ur gender rubish u are very good in dat infact am not surprised anymore, infact dat is ur niche, continue ur nonsense feminism till u lead some of d female listen to u astray

Madness has surfaced.

When that man finally kpained, that work wey she no wan work she go work am sotey her back go bend, infact she go do all work still do ashawo join am. Eno go reach still.

Don't worry o. Kill your husband with responsibilities, even disabled beggar go sleep you.

Continue

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

Emdi1914:
@op...,See, whether your wife contributes a dim or not,it is really not her business.
You are the man.Even if your wife earns more than you do,her money is her money,you are still to care for your household even without her contributing a dim.

In the 21 Century? Where my women fight for gender equality? Go get your facts right brov

verminnel:
senseless talk!! A wife is supposed to be a help mate to her man ,thats the essence of marriage in its entirety. Marriage is Partnership!!! for crying out loud ,u cant kill the innocent man with pressing bills while u sit down doing nothing. Every right thinking woman knows that she also has to pull her weight by being productive to give her marriage a sort of balance.We are not in the stone age, Please!!!

the so called wife will not know what befalls her until the man kpai

A woman gave birth twice in the space of 3 years and her husband expects her to go out and hustle and men are supporting him. Does she have help? You conveniently left that part out. Assuming she had a job or business she was doing before having the babies, maybe she would have found a way to adjust depending on how strong she is and the kind of support she has. Expecting a woman with an infant and toddler to go out and start hustling is beyond absurd. If she knows what's good for her she better go and get a birth control done. This is not a type of husband a woman should be birthing more than 2 kids for

Ezedgreat:
the so called wife will not know what befalls her until the man kpai

You mean there are no other men out there if that were to happen? 🤔

DanBJChem:
In the 21 Century? Where my women fight for gender equality? Go get your facts right brov

Forget that equality parade bro.There is how you treat a woman and they would worship you as if you are were some god.

The mistake many people make is that, not everybody is good at buying and selling. Some people are only good in offering services but not good at buying and selling. Let her learn a skill she is talented at, i think she may be better at that. Sit down with and discuss asking her the area of her interest where she can learn a skill to offer sevices

Send her back to school. Make she go do Masters. If she finish, make she go do PhD.

Bro,You started wetin you no fit finish and now,Nigeria is happening to you..It will be hard for you to turn a lazy woman into a hardworking woman. The best you can do is to call her parents and yours for a meeting so they can talk sense into her.

Akalia:
God will provide you with an opportunity to earn a very good salary. I was once in your shoe, all i needed was a way better job and it miraculously came my way at the appointed time.
Today, comfortably no matter how much I spend in running the family every month, I still have a great deal of balance to split between my personal savings and my frivolities.
Your wife is not a problem-please never see her as one else the devil will start feeding you with negative thoughts that will drive you to acting untoward to your wife.

Yes, she may not be economically productive but she is still very useful in other areas in the marriage, so don't go hard on her. She can't do what she doesn't have the capacity to do.
I pray that God will come through for every responsible married man that is struggling financially, Amen.
OP please be intentional about getting closer to GOD. What you really need is a miraculous breakthrough and not necessarily your wife's supporting effort towards financing your home.

You may one day lose that job. Or lose ur health in it.

Then u will come back to read your foolish post

dominique:
A woman gave birth twice in the space of 3 years and her husband expects her to go out and hustle and men are supporting him. Does she have help? You conveniently left that part out. Assuming she had a job or business she was doing before having the babies, maybe she would have found a way to adjust depending on how strong she is and the kind of support she has. Expecting a woman with an infant and toddler to go out and start hustling is beyond absurd. If she knows what's good for her she better go and get a birth control done. This is not a type of husband a woman should be birthing more than 2 kids for

I have scanned all pages of this thread trying to see a single man who would reason this way unfortunately only two ladies mentioned it prior. She gave birth to two children in 3 years, that is 18 months of pregnancy out of 36 months of marriage plus being a first time young mother. Except she was working before marriage it is unreasonable to expect any contribution right now until the kids can at least recognize their right hand from left. @Funkmrflexx you need to take personal responsibility and stop making babies every year, your finances clearly do not support such recklessness lest you die young and cut your wife some slack, you need to reduce luxurious spending and differentiate between NEEDS and WANTS. Also, you might need to practice opportunity cost with some of your NEEDS and let go of some sadly because of your current realities.

PissInside:
A whole lot of men are going to marry nonsense in this generation.

No wonder a lot of newly married men are now looking old,depressed and aggressive.

Haha

SIRTee15:
First it's insulting to say your wife added no value to your life. She gave u 2 kids that bears YOUR NAME. THAT PRESERVES YOUR LEGACY.
She just doesn't sit down at home doing nothing, she is raising your kids, keeping the house clean, cooking you good home made meals and satisfying your urge at night at your beckon. That is something and u dont pay her for it, do you?
forcing her to do business when she has no entrepreneurial skills or background history in business acumen shows it's your fault not hers. She may be well adapted to routine desk job rather than commerce. ask her first how she wants to add extra income to the house not just pushing your ways on her.

Finally, whether u like it or not. It's your duty to provide for your home. THAT IS YOUR GOD GIVING RIGHT DUTY AS A MAN TO PROVIDE FOR YOUR HOME OTHERWISE U ARE WORSE THAN AN INFIDEL- NA BIBLE TALK AM.
Being a man isnt about attending to the needs of your testosterone urge or packing 5 shoulders up and down. What makes u a man is your ability to take care of yourself, another man's daughter and your kids.
whatever your wife brings in is just an adjuvant, u are not expected to rely on it.

I think it's high time we really need to change the orientation of our men in southern Nigeria, because I dont understand how u cant feed your family and the next thing that comes to your mind is to blame your wife....instead of u to DOUBLE YOUR HUSTLE AND KEEP GRINDING.

come to uk, south asian men dont even allow their wives to work, yet na dem get property pass even more than africans that both couple work.
Men better learn to work hard, disruptive AI is coming that will wipe out more than half of all jobs in labour market. At that time, a man will even be lucky to get job not to talk a house wife.

Big shame on u for using Bible as scare tactics on us. That was pauls word but at d same time, he encouraged men to be like him and not marry.

You should be advicing the op to leave his marriage and become single like Paul first. U think say u wise

Good morning dear brother. I experience something similar but here is my approach to the issues and it later paid off. I don't know if you apply the same if it can work for you. I made advantage of her happy mood to ask her the exact thing she wanted to do , from there I discovered that every other things I suggested for her are out of her interest. So she told me she wanted to go into media (news casting/presentation). So I supported her for the program with my resources and after a year she got a federal government job through one of her friends. And today she is even better than myself in terms of finances. That your wife has a potential and your anger can not find it. Calm yourself down and approach the matter with total submission to God, you will see the best of your spouse. That's my submission

My only interest is the business that crumbled.

I am honestly surprised why men keep going the route of opening businesses for their unemployed wives.

Most businesses fail in their first year.
Most first time business people fail at their first business.

Go and ask around, most people who have a profitable business, the business is not their first business.

This has data backed from developed countries.

But you want to open business for an unmotivated wife, in a country like ours?

Do you think business is about collecting money and giving change?

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

You see the way am looking at you

She is taking care of your children and cooking for you as a wife. You provide and stop complaining.
If she starts working and shares the house chores, Una go still complain.
If you're ready to assist with house chores as you expect her to assist with bills, then register her to learn a handwork.

WriteerNg:

---

Go out one day and never return.

She will work by force.

You married an enemy not a wife.

Some women are naturally lazy and entitled sir and there's nothing eve them can do about it. If he takes your advice, she'll simply find herself a boyfriend to take care of her bills.

Emdi1914:
@op...,See, whether your wife contributes a dim or not,it is really not her business.
You are the man.Even if your wife earns more than you do,her money is her money,you are still to care for your household even without her contributing a dim.

So she's my house hold but her money is not my house hold aswear you no well seriously