₦airaland Forum

sweerychick:
words of a lazy fella. That's the problem with Naija folks always thinking that it's the sole responsibility of a man to provide. Let me tell you something, in this harsh economic environment it requires two to make it, I don't leave the whole responsibility for my husband alone, I work too, provide for my own basic needs, if my husband wishes to give me fine by me, but I'm there to support him because if I don't work hard too, anything can happen, what if my husband falls sick tomorrow or worse case dies would I still wait for him to provide from the grave. Enough of these nonsense it's a man's duty to provide that's the words of Lazy women.

At Op focus on your kids and rent and bills, start a side hustle stop giving her money let her make her own, if she decides to cheat outside let her suffer the consequences. Man up and don't listen to any fool saying that as a man you must provide everything.

@kobojunkie
See better woman here....

very few.... the rest are junkies

kenben:
The truth about such women is that the day she has to work and sweat for her own money she would be convinced that she married the wrong man. Disrespect and disregard will increase tremendously and cheating may likely follow.

Also, if you leave her and she is pretty ,she will immediately slide into the hands of another man. The failure here is one of upbringing. Her parents never impacted in her the need to take personal responsibility for her own growth. She therefore sees marriage as responsibility outsourcing.

Generally, to have a woman who does nothing in this day and age is the most irritating burden that any serious minded man would have to bear.

I can also predict that except changes are made and character is adjusted to meet expectations, that marriage is in its final days.

What if that man loses his Job....
which is almost Normal in a man's life, what will happen?

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

Wetin you talk make sense to you.... So come press phone na Wetin she fit do..... Rubbish

Roseey0:
You didnt look well before you married. Considering the fact that some men do not want their wife to work, you cant actually blame her if that was the type of spouse she was looking for. You should have settled with a woman that have the same mentality as you.


The only thing you can do now is to avoid making more babies because you already have 3(yes, including your wife) that you are taking care of. Now cut family expenses to suit your income such that you will have savings every month. If shes is ok with playing at the level of one income, I dont think you can change her.

What happens if he loses his income....
it happens!

Kobojunkie:
He can definitely tell her it is over, but that won't change the fact that the blame here is on OP ans not on the woman he wishes into paint in bad light based on his OP. 🥱🥱

My hope is she is wise enough to leave him with the children or at least leave them with his parents then. This is so she can finally go work on herself,band send him child support money until she is able to get herself on her feet to maybe share custody with him. 🥱🥱🥱

this will Ease his pain 100%

The Bible said that I will give you a helper Not a liability. Simple

OvertheTop:
Bro, take the above as a CRY for HELP,
the next thing Might be Extreme when he Cannot cope anymore...(Yielding point and then Breaking point)

Then he disappears as many husbands/fathers have. Then one day he'd be watching and one of his kids will appear on TV as a now-famous celebrity!

lincs25:
The Bible said that I will give you a helper Not a liability. Simple

Help meet not helper

CanadaOrBust:
Help meet not helper

correcting me while typing wrongly. What is help meet. Mate

CanadaOrBust:
Then he disappears as many husbands/fathers have. Then one day he'd be watching and one of his kids will appear on TV as a now-famous celebrity!

just like asake

You saw all this signs during courting but never made it a priority for her to own and master a skill before you marry her. You have to just deal with it that way. She's already used to being not useful to you.

bukatyne:
A married man can 'just ignore his family'?

It.is.well.

A married woman can just be idle and pressing phone all day?

May.God.have.mercy.upon.us.

lincs25:
The Bible said that I will give you a helper Not a liability. Simple

Bible never said that. Stop confusing your pastors with the Bible. 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Ayomid3h:
I'll advise you to go and apologize your ex gf if not something bad might happen unexpectedly

You're doing well in 2023 but things got worse in 2026 don't you know that's spiritual attack

I'll advise you tell your pastor or Alfa to pray harder on your matter

Where was the ex gf mentioned in the write up?

Usmanovic95:
Where was the ex gf mentioned in the write up?

https://www.nairaland.com/7949749/ex-stalking-me-wife-social

This is where the problems started from

Ayomid3h:
just like asake

Really? What did Asake do?

lincs25:
correcting me while typing wrongly. What is help meet. Mate

See below

Akalia:
My post reads folly to you because you lack the depth of mental maturity to grasp its underlying moral story.

Not your fault, perhaps one day you would understand.

Future is not far my guy. Future will tell. No rush.

OvertheTop:
What happens if he loses his income....
it happens!

Maybe that could help her sit up.
More reasons I recommended he saves for emergencies like that

Stephen0mozzy:
When you're the only one with Growth and Wealth mindset, there are some conversations you can't have with your wife anymore, because she'll just be clueless - you can't take her to social gatherings with high ranking people, because all she knows is skit and self-acclaimed influencer bhuffuns who give half-baked advice online.

If you're okay with a maid-wife, that's fine - but not this soul.

Influence her...

"Upgrade" her mental state..

Emeskhalifa:
Shey if e think finsh, e no go still need money to pursue the billionaire thinking abi?

You heard someone said to provide basic needs in the house is taking a toll on him, you still dey tell am to think like billionaire. Ok, if hin think finish, help am credit hin aza with 1b naira

Chai...

The mindset of the poor..

morgstreme:
Chai...

The mindset of the poor..

Dey whine una sef.

morgstreme:
Influence her...

"Upgrade" her mental state..

You can force a horse to the river, but you can't force her to drink water.

When the zeal is not there, it's not there - see the evidence in Op's case.

Stephen0mozzy:
You can force a horse to the river, but you can't force her to drink water.

When the zeal is not there, it's not there - see the evidence in Op's case.

You think you have the zeal but you don't..

No difference between the both of you..

morgstreme:
Influence her...
"Upgrade" her mental state..

Have you been able to influence, say your mother, or cause her to upgrade her mentality? What about your own father? Na another man child you think say you fit influence like that? 🥱

CanadaOrBust:
Then he disappears as many husbands/fathers have. Then one day he'd be watching and one of his kids will appear on TV as a now-famous celebrity!

So After trying his best and getting overwhelmed,
you Expect him to keep on until he drop dead from financial Depression...

is this what you will Advice if her was your blood brother?

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

The economy was bad three years ago and yet you decided to get married and have two kids. How can a mother of two toddlers or a baby and a toddler be pressing phone all day? It’s impossible. You are the ungrateful family member here not appreciating the 24/7 care work she is doing here. Nonsense.

OvertheTop:
So After trying his best and getting overwhelmed,
you Expect him to keep on until he drop dead from financial Depression...

is this what you will Advice if her was your blood brother?

I never judged him. I only said what sometimes happens. Sometimes also the successful children resent the parent that raised them and bond with the one that was absent!!
Sometimes they even idolize their father who was there only briefly during childhood and they never saw him again, and resent their mother!

Kingosytex:
I no sure say you read dis article well. Person tell you say to provide basic amenities dey take a toll on him and you dey ask am to provide a nanny. Shey na you go dey pay the nanny?
Ndi mmadụ sef

Then he shouldn't expect much from a woman with two toddlers...Both for work, job or snake in the monkey shadow styles..

She too dey emotionally and physically drained!!
Let her breath!!!
Pregnancy and child bearing without break isn't a joke!!!

Chinny024:
Then he shouldn't expect much from a woman with two toddlers...Both for work, job or snake in the monkey shadow styles..

She too dey emotionally and physically drained!!
Let her breath!!!
Pregnancy and child bearing without break isn't a joke!!!

I wish the Op can listen to this line of thought. It's much easier for him to sort his sexual desires elsewhere and let the jobless, lazy leech he calls a wife sort out her own problems.

Kobojunkie:
Have you been able to influence, say your mother, or cause her to upgrade her mentality? What about your own father? Na another man child you think say you fit influence like that? 🥱

I influenced my wife...