₦airaland Forum

It breaks my heart each time my mum calls to reveal some weird things to me.

Last year, someone from the city traveled to the village and when she asked the person about me, the person told her that I was going through serious hardship and that I had emaciated so badly. The person even went further to tell her that, while I was much younger, they had thought that my Destiny was going to be bright and they are disappointed that I haven't lived up to that expectation.
Only God can tell how bad I felt when I heard about this. I asked to know the person's identity, but she refused telling me till now. I got so angry that I hanged up the phone on her. I was like, how can a stranger, a non-relative have the audacity to say such about your own son and you being the mum couldn't shut her down? I was disappointed in her.

In November last year, she dreamt I was attacked and stabbed.

Just this night, she called to tell me how she dreamt of me been Naked in the dream.

I remember sometimes last year, I was sending her money almost twice every week. I notice that whenever I experience financial difficulties and I'm Unable to consistently send her money, she begins to get unnecessarily paranoid and premonitive.

She was supposed to go back to the hospital for check up on her breast issues, but since there has being no money yet, she's wondering why it is taking me this long to have money and send to her. I told her money can't always be available at all times. There are good times and there are bad and hard times. I even asked her to go take a loan from their women's meeting, and I will pay in bits till I completely offset it. What else?
I can't share my present situation with her cos she can't help me, and I also don't want to get her worried about me, so I just pretend as if I'm cool. But I'm in fact, not.
This is a woman who hasn't done anything for me aside birthing me, breastfeeding me and taking care of me till age 10. From age 10 till now, she hasn't being responsible to me or my younger ones. She expects so much from me and the pressure she's mounting on me is becoming increasingly troubling.
I'm a very emotional person and these things get to me seriously. Most times I try to avoid her calls because nothing good comes out of those calls except lamentations.
Let her negative dreams about me be kept only to herself please. I'm trying to change my line, so she can be unable to reach me. Whenever I need to hear from her, I'll hide my number and call her, then send her whatever I'm able to. My mental health is not in a good shape at this moment. The country is already hard and she's making it harder for me. Why all these negativities for God's sakes?

I want to ask, is this how your own mothers act towards you?

In my next world, I wouldn't want this kind of a mother abeg. Haba!

This is a woman who hasn't paid my fees before, or even given me any form of emotional or financial support. Even as an undergraduate, I was still the one sending her money.

I would have preferred my dad stayed alive while my mum died. Her matter don tire me abeg

All the answers you need are already in your post

mariovito:
All the answers you need are already in your post

I'm tired seriously.
Seriously

Bro there are family members i dont talk to. Not that we quarreled but discussing with them is all negativity.
Surround urself with positive people and stay away from negative energy.

slimjohn2k5:
Bro there are family members i dont talk to. Not that we quarreled but discussing with them is all negativity.
Surround urself with positive people and stay away from negative energy.

We are talking about "Mother" here and not just "family member"

Money stops nonsense.

Work hard...may the Lord bless your hands with good successes.

When the money comes, do not stop to take good care of her and your responsibilities.

All will be well.

decatalyst:
Money stops nonsense.

Work hard...may the Lord bless your hands with good successes.

When the money comes, do not stop to take good care of her and your responsibilities.

All will be well.

Amen , thanks

Malagans:
I'm tired seriously.
Seriously

If you cut her off now for your own sanity and progress, nothing spoil.

While contemplating that, reduce communication with her, you don't have to answer her calls, you may limit communication to text and WhatsApp messages.

Periods you are buoyant enough, send her something, when you not, stay your lane and don't beat yourself up about it.

There was a year I didn't speak with mine due to unnecessary issues she kept raising.

Also let her know once and for all that you will no longer entertain her negative energy and listening to people who undermine you.

mariovito:
If you cut her off now for your own sanity and progress, nothing spoil.

While contemplating that, reduce communication with her, you don't have to answer her calls, you may limit communication to text and WhatsApp messages.

Periods you are buoyant enough, send her something, when you not, stay your lane and don't beat yourself up about it.

There was a year I didn't speak with mine due to unnecessary issues she kept raising.

Also let her know once and for all that you will no longer entertain her negative energy and listening to people who undermine you.

She's unlettered. Can't communicate in English. As a result, she only uses a torchlight phone. Omor, I don tire. She's tormenting me

Dear op, stay strong; it's never easy.
It's not even easy anywhere now but consistency in hard work and prayers will definitely break every stronghold.

Some mother's can sometimes be misaligning and misjudging when one is out of there sight for long but that doesn't mean that they meant bad for there children, it's just that sometimes they want what is best for there children with or in a wrong approach or misstep.

Op, just do what your intuition is telling you, your mental health is important, put in more effort in your hustling, try not to move in circles, better still you can change location but put it in the back of your mind no matter what happens your mother is still your mother.

I had some issues some years back in my finances, I couldn't find support even my own mother said so many unbelievable things that made me not to talk to her for a long period, but for now me and her are realigning our differences.

It's well.

martinskelly:
Dear op, stay strong; it's never easy.
It's not even easy anywhere now but consistency in hard work and prayers will definitely break every stronghold.

Some mother's can sometimes be misaligning and misjudging when one is out of there sight for long but that doesn't mean that they meant bad for there children, it's just that sometimes they want what is best for there children with or in a wrong approach or misstep.

Op, just do what your intuition is telling you, your mental health is important, put in more effort in your hustling, try not to move in circles, better still you can change location but put it in the back of your mind no matter what happens your mother is still your mother.

I had some issues some years back in my finances, I couldn't find support even my own mother said so many unbelievable things that made me not to talk to her for a long period, but for now me and her are realigning our differences.

It's well.

Thanks brother 🙏

You said something that relates with me a bit but my own mom isn't really all about negativity. But once I no send am money her own na prayer, every locked door be opened and she fit pray for long minutes over the phone.

Mama na just little traffic hold my money o. YouTube never pay o, clients says they will pay next week. She go don start prayer. . At the end things will go well..

Even me sometimes I no dey pick because of those prayers but at last her prayer works. That's what your mom needs to be doing. As she even ever prayed for you on phone? Oh my son I'm fasting on your behalf etc. Even you ma go ginger as a son.

All those negative news she always tell you will likely find it's way into your subconscious mind and before you know it you will accept that and your destiny will now be changed.

Just do your best to avoid her negativity and do what your mind pleases, your sanity is important is important to you.

angelboy01:
You said something that relates with me a bit but my own mom isn't really all about negativity. But once I no send am money her own na prayer, every locked door be opened and she fit pray for long minutes over the phone.

Mama na just little traffic hold my money o. YouTube never pay o, clients says they will pay next week. She go don start prayer. . At the end things will go well..

Even me sometimes I no dey pick because of those prayers but at last her prayer works. That's what your mom needs to be doing. As she even ever prayed for you on phone? Oh my son I'm fasting on your behalf etc. Even you ma go ginger as a son.

All those negative news she always tell you will likely find it's way into your subconscious mind and before you know it you will accept that and your destiny will now be changed.

Just do your best to avoid her negativity and do what your mind pleases, your sanity is important is important to you.

Bro, sometimes I am even wondering if she is the weapon formed against me. I was doing well, sending her money twice every week until things changed. Just a month or two that I haven't sent her MONEY, she began having nightmares about me.
Nawaooo.
As if she don ever dash me any money for her life

Malagans:
Bro, sometimes I am even wondering if she is the weapon formed against me. I was doing well, sending her money twice every week until things changed. Just a month or two that I haven't sent her MONEY, she began having nightmares about me.
Nawaooo.
As if she don ever dash me any money for her life

Baba I don loose my email o. I can't even remember what I used. Saw your request bro. I can't access it.

angelboy01:
Baba I don loose my email o. I can't even remember what I used. Saw your request bro. I can't access it.

Na u sabi

Useless parents that give birth to children they can't care for and yet expect those kids to cater for them.
I detest them so much.

@Op, I can't advice you o. But relax, ndi "she's still your mother" will come and tell you to stay and continue being abused.

But just understand that if you kpai today because of pressure, that your parent will still continue to live. She won't join you inside grave o. Use your tongue to count your teeth.

OldBeer:
Useless parents that give birth to children they can't care for and yet expect those kids to cater for them.
I detest them so much.

@Op, I can't advice you o. But relax, ndi "she's still your mother" will come and tell you to stay and continue being abused.

But just understand that if you kpai today because of pressure, that your parent will still continue to live. She won't join you inside grave o. Use your tongue to count your teeth.

You've said it all.
This is a woman that has never being responsible to me at any point in my life. When the going is good, she shows you care and love, but when things go south, she disappears. She can't even take a bullet for you

may God bless our mums.

i think you should just tell her you dont like those negative dreams and they will never be your portion

Pootle:
may God bless our mums.

i think you should just tell her you dont like those negative dreams and they will never be your portion

Amen.
Never my portion

Malagans:
She's unlettered. Can't communicate in English. As a result, she only uses a torchlight phone. Omor, I don tire. She's tormenting me

Is your mum a Christian?