₦airaland Forum

“All men are the same.”
You hear it everywhere.

Then someone replies:
“Who asked you to try all men?”

It sounds funny, but let’s slow down and be honest because this conversation is usually more emotional than logical.

When people say “all men are the same,” they are not speaking statistically. They are speaking from experience. Repeated experience.

But here is the uncomfortable part.

If you keep meeting the same kind of person with the same behavior, at some point you have to ask:

Is it really “all men”… or a pattern in your choices?

Because human beings don’t pick randomly. We are drawn to certain traits:
1. Confidence
2. Looks
3. Lifestyle
4. Energy

The truth is that the very traits that attract you are the same ones that come with red flags you keep ignoring.

So you meet Different names with Different faces
Yet with Same story and it starts to feel like “all men are the same.”

But they are not.

There are men who are loyal.
There are men who are disciplined.
There are men who are serious about commitment.

Just like there are men who are not.

The real issue is not the existence of bad men.
It is repeated selection without reflection.

Now let’s balance it.

This is not about blaming women alone. Men also say “all women are the same” after dealing with similar patterns. Same logic applies.

If you don’t pause to understand your choices, your standards, and your blind spots, you will keep recycling the same experience.

So instead of asking,
“Why are all men like this?”

Ask:
“Why do I keep choosing this kind of man?”

That question is harder.
But it is also the one that actually leads to change.

Because until you fix the pattern, the faces will keep changing…
but the story will remain the same.

You are advising a category of people that don't know what they want.

Infact, how do you expect a woman to understand herself, when she does not pour water on her head because of Brazilian hair and attachment.

What about your papa?

We should stop raising kids from dysfunctional homes!

A lady will want to marry up!

While guys tend to marry down!

If your selections has been faulty so many times then something must be faulty in you!

Who told you,,,,
Me my pr1ck bend o 🌶️

I’m quite different and any serious single lady can hit me up

Dpsychologist:
“All men are the same.”
You hear it everywhere.

Then someone replies:
“Who asked you to try all men?”

It sounds funny, but let’s slow down and be honest because this conversation is usually more emotional than logical.

When people say “all men are the same,” they are not speaking statistically. They are speaking from experience. Repeated experience.

But here is the uncomfortable part.

If you keep meeting the same kind of person with the same behavior, at some point you have to ask:

Is it really “all men”… or a pattern in your choices?

Because human beings don’t pick randomly. We are drawn to certain traits:
1. Confidence
2. Looks
3. Lifestyle
4. Energy

The truth is that the very traits that attract you are the same ones that come with red flags you keep ignoring.

So you meet Different names with Different faces
Yet with Same story and it starts to feel like “all men are the same.”

But they are not.

There are men who are loyal.
There are men who are disciplined.
There are men who are serious about commitment.

Just like there are men who are not.

The real issue is not the existence of bad men.
It is repeated selection without reflection.

Now let’s balance it.

This is not about blaming women alone. Men also say “all women are the same” after dealing with similar patterns. Same logic applies.

If you don’t pause to understand your choices, your standards, and your blind spots, you will keep recycling the same experience.

So instead of asking,
“Why are all men like this?”

Ask:
“Why do I keep choosing this kind of man?”

That question is harder.
But it is also the one that actually leads to change.

Because until you fix the pattern, the faces will keep changing…
but the story will remain the same.

We don't have anything to prove to that gender.
We already have a lot on our hands

Seconded...Gbamsolutely!✍️
But a large proportion of the people who would come across this post lack capacity for comprehension; you'd see it in their comments.

They've slept with all Men na 🤷🏿

Nefort:
Women have gone extinct on Nairaland as a result of frequent sexism from men. Only men drop comments even on topics made for women. You guys have turned Nairaland into a gay pub

Our women folks don't have contributions on here, most of'em are here to troll or find simp to date

While the heading is true.. Write up showing Mansplaining strategy and opinion in a shameless and untidy mind. Haven't said that. Avoid toto people and always use your brain when giving and receiving head. Why is this about head really?

Ikennaford:
Our women folks don't have contributions on here, most of'em are here to troll or find simp to date

Hence why divorce is not really a thing... Brain option pool is depleting really fast just for money to buy data.

Very apt. Nice write-up ! Keep it up !

They would love the same man over and over again. That first love defines what love really means to them. So they see the man, or rather, the trait of that man in every one they believed represents love. But since the first love doesn't have that happy ending, they repeat the same mistake over and over again.
When they give chance to someone with a different trait, they will want such a one to exhibit the trait of the love that failed creating more bad memories in the end.

Relationship is not about love. It is about genetics. But no one sees the genes. Only the traits of the genes. Those that understands will have a blissful union with someone morality and religion consider impossible.

EmperorIsaac:
Seconded...Gbamsolutely!✍️
But a large proportion of the people who would come across this post lack capacity for comprehension; you'd see it in their comments.

I can actually see it in their comment. It says alot about who people are.

Wow.... Fantastic writeup. God bless you for this

You don't mean it!


Ah ah ah ah!

Women prefer men who make them think all men are the same.

Read that again....

How can men be all the same?

Variations is the spice of life

I didn't even need to check the username to know who wrote this. Kudos for always staying consistent with your style. I already knew you’d bring in the NAWALT (Not All Women Are Like That) angle to balance things out.

While it’s true that everyone isn't the same, we can't ignore the similar traits MOST of them share due to environment, upbringing, and peer pressure. I’m underlining that MOST because I know how some Nairalanders like to "misconstrue" simple English.

It's called trauma. If you're a woman who had multiple relationships, there is 99% chance the next one too will break up until you do the work of healing yourself.

You won't even believe you offended the past men or take the share of the responsibility of what happened without working on yourself. Easier said than done.

Most people don't understand the psychological and spiritual components of life. Dey think na eat, walk around.

The body keeps the score is a good book to begin with. You will see how you're perhaps the one who really messed up the relationship not the guy. Learn to reflect on your life, family and environment. Today, by simply knowing your town or house you were brought up we can predict how long your relationship is going to last

You enjoy your partner if, two of you are ready to reach compromise and also treating yourself, the way you can treat your own son or daughter.

Mad comments so far, and really one has to wonder about the kind of people using nairaland now.

Back to the topic, I have to agree to a certain point. Some unfortunately get to meet terrible people and most times is as a result of bad choice. I can speak for myself, most of my bad relationships was as a result of me choosing looks over character and I really want to ask if there a beautiful ladies with good character, because I don't want to conclude that all beautiful ladies are bad

Manometre. Metre for guaging men.

"There are men who are loyal.
There are men who are disciplined.
There are men who are serious about commitment"

This is a lie. All men are the same.

JohnnyBling:
Mad comments so far, and really one has to wonder about the kind of people using nairaland now.

Back to the topic, I have to agree to a certain point. Some unfortunately get to meet terrible people and most times is as a result of bad choice. I can speak for myself, most of my bad relationships was as a result of me choosing looks over character and I really want to ask if there a beautiful ladies with good character, because I don't want to conclude that all beautiful ladies are bad

You don't want to conclude because of hope.

Take it or leave it all the badness and sharp guy/sharp woman that you all have been teaching have finally corrupted every soul and so both males and females are sharp and over sharp and now the game is about the sharper one winning.

Guest14:
It's called trauma. If you're a woman who had multiple relationships, there is 99% chance the next one too will break up until you do the work of healing yourself.

You won't even believe you offended the past men or take the share of the responsibility of what happened without working on yourself. Easier said than done.

Most people don't understand the psychological and spiritual components of life. Dey think na eat, walk around.

The body keeps the score is a good book to begin with. You will see how you're perhaps the one who really messed up the relationship not the guy. Learn to reflect on your life, family and environment. Today, by simply knowing your town or house you were brought up we can predict how long your relationship is going to last

So it's only women who are having multiple relationships, abi?

All men are the same cos you couldn't recognise your flaws

Same heading apply to woman also.

Dtruthspeaker:
So it's only women who are having multiple relationships, abi?

The explanation is relevant to both genders

Your mind is too dirty for my liking.

Personperson01:
While the heading is true.. Write up showing Mansplaining strategy and opinion in a shameless and untidy mind. Haven't said that. Avoid toto people and always use your brain when giving and receiving head. Why is this about head really?

Always Pay The Piper, it's not an advice