₦airaland Forum

blesdman:
Both of them to be blamed. U don't keep an adult female near a man when they are not related by blood. It is a clear temptation. I will not say further. But she should find the heart to forgive the man; after separating for some days

Stop this.

As a married man, are you pressured to rape young girls in every regular close proximity? Don't take this logic to a schools, hospitals, offices and even choir settings. That animal is a violent rapist simple, with no respect for women and marriage, and must face it's consequences at least. We are not perfect we know, but Such a loose man that diligently plots and leaves his workplace to regularly go and oppress a young girl even without her submition, has zero self-control and will fck everything in skirt if faced with the slightest seduction by other girls. And That's morally dirty bro. Haba

The Real Victim here is not you but the Girl
Compensate her adequately , both you and your husband.
she is a good girl is the reason she didn't bulge to your husband's pressure
she must have went through hell which in uur blindness you didn't see, she left to preserve your marriage .
you and your husband owe her .

Then for your husband , if he is genuinely sorry, I mean genuinely sorry forgive him.
for a man to publicly accept his errors and plead publicly is a positive sign.
Therefore do your best to heal from this and continue with your home with him

Mrslarissa98:
Hello everyone, I need your advice please.


She had helped other people find help before, and she introduced us to a 19-year-old girl who came to live with us.

/
You don't need advice.

You married a second wife unofficially for your husband.

/

Monogamy is the problem. Marriages face difficulties when the woman gives birth because she no longer meets the sexual needs of the man (due to trauma, increased chores, etc) or vag1nal childbirth changes the anatomy of the private part and losens it (with herbs and kegel exercise this can be corrected over a long time). Men marry multiple women so that while the childbearing wife fully recovers, her co-wife helps out sexually and visa versa. This is how the sanity of marriage was stabilized in several cultures over thousands of years… until the West cooked up the evil that polygamy is bad.
The man committed a crime if he SAed the maid. If SA is established, he should be punished or the maid heavily compensated. On the other hand, I recommend you fight for your marriage. Don’t continue the circle of divorce at the slightest reason. Remember what happened when your mum divorced your dad. This is not to say you should stay if your man continues to be a monster, but your marriage is still worth saving for the kids sake.
I recommend that society embraces polygamy to reduce these kinds of incidents in marriage. The West sold the world the lie of monogamy and we all need to change our worldview about this lie from hell demonizing polygamy.

If you can take care of the kids all by yourself, leave. Not only did he rape her, he beat her up and lied that she passed out. Sounds like he must have done this before maybe to someone else.
If he couldn’t control himself inside, lord knws what he must’ve done or is capable of doing outside, get him arrested and leave.And I hope you protect your girl child frm him.

Mrslarissa98:
Hello everyone, I need your advice please.
I am half Nigerian. I am married and currently living in another African country with my husband and our two children. Our first child is 4 years old and the youngest is 9 months old.

I was born and raised in Nigeria to a Nigerian father. When I was 13 years old, my parents divorced. My mother took me, my younger brother, and my elder sister from her previous relationship back to her country. Since we left, I have not seen or spoken to my father.

Unfortunately, my mother passed away two years later when I was only 15. Life was very difficult for us because my mother’s family treated us badly, but that is not really what I am looking for advice about, so I will keep the story short.

I got married 5 years ago, and 3 years ago my husband and I relocated to a different African country. We are both involved in business. I run a hair salon while also taking care of my duties as a wife and mother.

When I started my business, my daughter was already 2 years old and attending school, so it was easier to manage both my business and my responsibilities at home. But when I became pregnant with my son, I knew it would not be easy anymore because I would need someone to help take care of him while I worked. I stayed home for about 3 months after he was born, and when I was preparing to return to work, I asked my pastor’s wife to help me find someone to assist me. She had helped other people find help before, and she introduced us to a 19-year-old girl who came to live with us.

At first, everything was going well. She took very good care of my baby. My daughter’s school was close to my shop, so I was the one dropping her off and picking her up. We had planned that the following year we would move her to a school closer to the house so the girl could help with picking her up.

Let me also add that while I was on maternity leave, my husband used to come home around 1 p.m. to eat lunch. But when I returned to work, I asked him not to come home during the day anymore and to start taking food to work instead, which he did.

When my baby was about 5 months old, we left for work as usual. Around 10 a.m., my phone rang. It was my husband saying he was at the hospital with the maid and the baby. I panicked and asked what happened and if my baby was okay. He said the baby was fine, but the maid was the one who was not well.

He told me that he was at work, but he suddenly felt very uneasy, like something was telling him to go home and check on the baby. When he got home, he heard the baby crying inside the room where the maid shared with our daughter. At first, he ignored it, thinking maybe she was changing the baby. But the crying became worse, and he heard a loud bump. He called the maid’s name, but there was no response. When he entered the room, he found her lying on the floor naked, and the baby was next to her crying. He picked up the baby and called the neighbors, who helped cover her and put her in his car. One male neighbor followed them to help with the baby while they went to the hospital.

The girl was unconscious at first, but later she recovered. After she was discharged, I was wondering what could have happened. I asked her if she had any history of seizures or something similar, but she said no. She explained that she could not clearly remember what happened that day. She said that after putting the baby to sleep, she rushed to take a bath, and after coming out of the bathroom she could not remember anything else until she woke up in the hospital.

During the following days, I allowed her to rest as much as possible, and I started taking my baby with me to my shop. It was not easy, but I wanted her to recover.

One day, I came back home and found the house empty. She was nowhere to be found. I panicked and called her number, but it was switched off. I called our pastor’s wife, but she said she had not seen her. She was already aware of what had happened at the hospital. We were all worried and tried to reach her without success. Our pastor’s wife even sent someone to her aunt’s house to check if she was there, but she was not.
After a few days, we found out that she was staying with her elder sister in another town. We felt some relief knowing she was at least with family. We tried to contact her to ask why she left suddenly, but she would not pick up our calls.
Four months later, she came back to the church and informed our pastor that the reason she left my house was because, according to her, ever since she started living with us, my husband had been making advances toward her. She said she always refused him. She claimed that on the day of the incident, my husband came home and met her in the room while she was dressing, forced himself on her, beat her, and she passed out.
The pastor called us, and the girl repeated this in front of everyone. My husband could not deny it and started begging for forgiveness. I was completely shattered. Although the pastor and his wife counseled us and tried to reconcile us, and my husband has been begging for forgiveness, I am still heartbroken. I am no longer interested in this marriage. I feel anger and pain whenever I look at him.

Now I feel like taking my children and going back to my home country. I cry every day and feel very depressed. I really need advice, please help me.

If you leave him now, you would regret it believe me because you still need him in your life and that of your children.
I advice you leave his house or insist he lets you be for few weeks as a punishment for what he did. Moving forward, if you are going to continue the marriage, have a heart to heart discussion with him to know what really led him to do what he did. Was it that he needed more sex or what exactly? After this is spoken about and steps are taken to resolve this, you can have your husband back.
God help you in this difficult stage.

Mrslarissa98:
Hello everyone, I need your advice please.
I am half Nigerian. I am married and currently living in another African country with my husband and our two children. Our first child is 4 years old and the youngest is 9 months old.

I was born and raised in Nigeria to a Nigerian father. When I was 13 years old, my parents divorced. My mother took me, my younger brother, and my elder sister from her previous relationship back to her country. Since we left, I have not seen or spoken to my father.

Unfortunately, my mother passed away two years later when I was only 15. Life was very difficult for us because my mother’s family treated us badly, but that is not really what I am looking for advice about, so I will keep the story short.

I got married 5 years ago, and 3 years ago my husband and I relocated to a different African country. We are both involved in business. I run a hair salon while also taking care of my duties as a wife and mother.

When I started my business, my daughter was already 2 years old and attending school, so it was easier to manage both my business and my responsibilities at home. But when I became pregnant with my son, I knew it would not be easy anymore because I would need someone to help take care of him while I worked. I stayed home for about 3 months after he was born, and when I was preparing to return to work, I asked my pastor’s wife to help me find someone to assist me. She had helped other people find help before, and she introduced us to a 19-year-old girl who came to live with us.

At first, everything was going well. She took very good care of my baby. My daughter’s school was close to my shop, so I was the one dropping her off and picking her up. We had planned that the following year we would move her to a school closer to the house so the girl could help with picking her up.

Let me also add that while I was on maternity leave, my husband used to come home around 1 p.m. to eat lunch. But when I returned to work, I asked him not to come home during the day anymore and to start taking food to work instead, which he did.

When my baby was about 5 months old, we left for work as usual. Around 10 a.m., my phone rang. It was my husband saying he was at the hospital with the maid and the baby. I panicked and asked what happened and if my baby was okay. He said the baby was fine, but the maid was the one who was not well.

He told me that he was at work, but he suddenly felt very uneasy, like something was telling him to go home and check on the baby. When he got home, he heard the baby crying inside the room where the maid shared with our daughter. At first, he ignored it, thinking maybe she was changing the baby. But the crying became worse, and he heard a loud bump. He called the maid’s name, but there was no response. When he entered the room, he found her lying on the floor naked, and the baby was next to her crying. He picked up the baby and called the neighbors, who helped cover her and put her in his car. One male neighbor followed them to help with the baby while they went to the hospital.

The girl was unconscious at first, but later she recovered. After she was discharged, I was wondering what could have happened. I asked her if she had any history of seizures or something similar, but she said no. She explained that she could not clearly remember what happened that day. She said that after putting the baby to sleep, she rushed to take a bath, and after coming out of the bathroom she could not remember anything else until she woke up in the hospital.

During the following days, I allowed her to rest as much as possible, and I started taking my baby with me to my shop. It was not easy, but I wanted her to recover.

One day, I came back home and found the house empty. She was nowhere to be found. I panicked and called her number, but it was switched off. I called our pastor’s wife, but she said she had not seen her. She was already aware of what had happened at the hospital. We were all worried and tried to reach her without success. Our pastor’s wife even sent someone to her aunt’s house to check if she was there, but she was not.
After a few days, we found out that she was staying with her elder sister in another town. We felt some relief knowing she was at least with family. We tried to contact her to ask why she left suddenly, but she would not pick up our calls.
Four months later, she came back to the church and informed our pastor that the reason she left my house was because, according to her, ever since she started living with us, my husband had been making advances toward her. She said she always refused him. She claimed that on the day of the incident, my husband came home and met her in the room while she was dressing, forced himself on her, beat her, and she passed out.
The pastor called us, and the girl repeated this in front of everyone. My husband could not deny it and started begging for forgiveness. I was completely shattered. Although the pastor and his wife counseled us and tried to reconcile us, and my husband has been begging for forgiveness, I am still heartbroken. I am no longer interested in this marriage. I feel anger and pain whenever I look at him.

Now I feel like taking my children and going back to my home country. I cry every day and feel very depressed. I really need advice, please help me.

You counselling from someone experienced. As usual many singles will be talking rubbish in the thread. I can't give my opinions here for several reasons I don't want to disclose. The only thing I will tell you is to give yourself time to relax. It might be one month, two months or even a year, depending on you. Once your head is clear, address this issue again. You don't really understand who you're married to.

FriendsAndFans:
If you end up divorcing, where will you go with the 2 young children? A 4 year old and a 9 months old.

It's very difficult to be a single parent even if you have a well paying job.
It's all upto you tho

She wouldn't listen

immortalcrown:
My own advice:

Leaving the marriage is risky. What if he becomes unavailable when you later forgive him and wishe to have him? His action was very wrong. But I advise you to continue with the marriage since he doesn't starve or assault you.

As for him, he should be arraigned ona two-count charges of rape and attempted murder. If at all you should separate from him, let his jail sentence be the cause, do not divorce him.

Are you well?

Seriously?

You guys are insane.

Jesus Christ

SpencerForbes:
Even the elders of nairaland are weak and speechless 😶

After thinking this through, here is my take on the situation. Firstly, you must ensure the girl is properly settled and compensated for what has happened. Following that, you need to have a very serious sit-down with your husband to make it clear that this must never repeat itself. If you let this slide without a heavy consequence, you are opening a door that might lead to your own daughter being the next target. Give him a very strict warning; it is going to be incredibly difficult to rebuild the trust that was once there, so you must give yourself the necessary time to heal.

Alternatively, if you are financially stable enough, you should consider leaving the house for two weeks or more. If he is truly remorseful and cares about the marriage, he will come around and look for you. However, if you are the one who goes back begging, you have effectively given him the audacity to do even worse because he will believe you have no other options or anywhere else to go. If he comes around, he should be watched closely, but if this behavior recurs, it proves he has no respect for you—and a marriage where there is no mutual respect is simply not sustainable.

So the best thing for the children will be for her to stay with a rapist ?

You people are crazy

correctyourself:
Here is a true experience.

I heard of similar issues with a family and the matter got to the husband's office and the man was sacked as a result of the issue. Till today the man has not been able to get well paying job and both the wife, man and children are lacking what the family needs for decent life.

Leaving the marriage wouldn't be good for the children.

Lastly, having seen the person whom your husband is, never you keep female house help to avoid similar issues, try and pull the issue over so that it wouldn't affect your thinking

ProfGday:
The blame is yours, cos how can you tempted your husband with a 19yr old maid?

The best you can do is to stay in that marriage and accept the blame as yours. Forgive your husband and let bygone be bygone.


The maid should be well compensated for all the trauma she went through in the hand of that he-goat you called husband.


Your husband should be flogged naked 101 times on market days as a reparations for his crime.

Do you rape all 19 years olds you come across?

This is 2026 and this forum has not changed one bit

No wonder the country is in shambles. This is the crop from which the leaders are being chosen

FriendsAndFans:
If you end up divorcing, where will you go with the 2 young children? A 4 year old and a 9 months old.

It's very difficult to be a single parent even if you have a well paying job.
It's all upto you tho

Away from the rapist for a start. What an insane question

Mrslarissa98:
Hello everyone, I need your advice please.
I am half Nigerian. I am married and currently living in another African country with my husband and our two children. Our first child is 4 years old and the youngest is 9 months old.

I , please help me.

Your mother history want to repeat itself onn you.
I will advise you to forgive him, but don't forget to take the advantage of what happened to subdue him .

How did she tempt him. If it was her sister or relation that came to help, that is how he will rape her too.

You guys are rascal. So even if you are tempted, should you fall. Plenty girls dey outside, why the one in your house, why the one in your church, why the one in your street? I tire for una ohhh

ProfGday:
The blame is yours, cos how can you tempted your husband with a 19yr old maid?

The best you can do is to stay in that marriage and accept the blame as yours. Forgive your husband and let bygone be bygone.


The maid should be well compensated for all the trauma she went through in the hand of that he-goat you called husband.


Your husband should be flogged naked 101 times on market days as a reparations for his crime.

Mrslarissa98:
Hello everyone, I need your advice please.
I am half Nigerian. I am married and currently living in another African country with my husband and our two children. Our first child is 4 years old and the youngest is 9 months old.

I was born and raised in Nigeria to a Nigerian father. When I was 13 years old, my parents divorced. My mother took me, my younger brother, and my elder sister from her previous relationship back to her country. Since we left, I have not seen or spoken to my father.

Unfortunately, my mother passed away two years later when I was only 15. Life was very difficult for us because my mother’s family treated us badly, but that is not really what I am looking for advice about, so I will keep the story short.

I got married 5 years ago, and 3 years ago my husband and I relocated to a different African country. We are both involved in business. I run a hair salon while also taking care of my duties as a wife and mother.

When I started my business, my daughter was already 2 years old and attending school, so it was easier to manage both my business and my responsibilities at home. But when I became pregnant with my son, I knew it would not be easy anymore because I would need someone to help take care of him while I worked. I stayed home for about 3 months after he was born, and when I was preparing to return to work, I asked my pastor’s wife to help me find someone to assist me. She had helped other people find help before, and she introduced us to a 19-year-old girl who came to live with us.

At first, everything was going well. She took very good care of my baby. My daughter’s school was close to my shop, so I was the one dropping her off and picking her up. We had planned that the following year we would move her to a school closer to the house so the girl could help with picking her up.

Let me also add that while I was on maternity leave, my husband used to come home around 1 p.m. to eat lunch. But when I returned to work, I asked him not to come home during the day anymore and to start taking food to work instead, which he did.

When my baby was about 5 months old, we left for work as usual. Around 10 a.m., my phone rang. It was my husband saying he was at the hospital with the maid and the baby. I panicked and asked what happened and if my baby was okay. He said the baby was fine, but the maid was the one who was not well.

He told me that he was at work, but he suddenly felt very uneasy, like something was telling him to go home and check on the baby. When he got home, he heard the baby crying inside the room where the maid shared with our daughter. At first, he ignored it, thinking maybe she was changing the baby. But the crying became worse, and he heard a loud bump. He called the maid’s name, but there was no response. When he entered the room, he found her lying on the floor naked, and the baby was next to her crying. He picked up the baby and called the neighbors, who helped cover her and put her in his car. One male neighbor followed them to help with the baby while they went to the hospital.

The girl was unconscious at first, but later she recovered. After she was discharged, I was wondering what could have happened. I asked her if she had any history of seizures or something similar, but she said no. She explained that she could not clearly remember what happened that day. She said that after putting the baby to sleep, she rushed to take a bath, and after coming out of the bathroom she could not remember anything else until she woke up in the hospital.

During the following days, I allowed her to rest as much as possible, and I started taking my baby with me to my shop. It was not easy, but I wanted her to recover.

One day, I came back home and found the house empty. She was nowhere to be found. I panicked and called her number, but it was switched off. I called our pastor’s wife, but she said she had not seen her. She was already aware of what had happened at the hospital. We were all worried and tried to reach her without success. Our pastor’s wife even sent someone to her aunt’s house to check if she was there, but she was not.
After a few days, we found out that she was staying with her elder sister in another town. We felt some relief knowing she was at least with family. We tried to contact her to ask why she left suddenly, but she would not pick up our calls.
Four months later, she came back to the church and informed our pastor that the reason she left my house was because, according to her, ever since she started living with us, my husband had been making advances toward her. She said she always refused him. She claimed that on the day of the incident, my husband came home and met her in the room while she was dressing, forced himself on her, beat her, and she passed out.
The pastor called us, and the girl repeated this in front of everyone. My husband could not deny it and started begging for forgiveness. I was completely shattered. Although the pastor and his wife counseled us and tried to reconcile us, and my husband has been begging for forgiveness, I am still heartbroken. I am no longer interested in this marriage. I feel anger and pain whenever I look at him.

Now I feel like taking my children and going back to my home country. I cry every day and feel very depressed. I really need advice, please help me.

Great now you will divorce him and find someone else to marry you, have more kids with him and your kids will grow up traumatized just like your mother before you did . It's a pattern that follows the bloodline and restricts you from their full potential. You're not awake enough to realize it's up to you to break the pattern.

Yes the man goofed big time but don't let it affect your kids, the next generation. It's easier said than done, I know but it's the price to pay. Forget those empty feminists playing the rapist card. You know who you married, has this been his nature? to force himself on women? I doubt because you would never have agreed to be his wife and partner. Men don't turn overnight. Trust me.

Some of these house helps are from hell with a single mission to destroy homes. I know what I'm saying. Your husband's fault is his failure to resist temptation by allowing his desires overcome his sense of self.

Not saying your husband is innocent, he's not no matter how you look at it but forgiving him and staying married will benefit you and your young family more. Except it's his nature, you should forgive but don't forget it, I say don't forget because no one really does.

Focus on getting better and building a strong family, also help him get through this period but never be too available for him. He must learn to enjoy the consequences of his actions too. I mean emotional and physical availablity

Two options: Stay for your young family's future's sake Or leave for your ego sake.

My simple advice to you: Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions

Lanre1st:
Your mother history want to repeat itself onn you
I will advise you to forgive him, but don't forget to take the advantage of what happened to subdue him .

She nor know say she's the one to break the pattern and the price to pay is before her.

I'm

correctyourself:
Here is a true experience.

I heard of similar issues with a family and the matter got to the husband's office and the man was sacked as a result of the issue. Till today the man has not been able to get well paying job and both the wife, man and children are lacking what the family needs for decent life.

Leaving the marriage wouldn't be good for the children.

Lastly, having seen the person whom your husband is, never you keep female house help to avoid similar issues, try and pull the issue over so that it wouldn't affect your thinking

You think it's easy as you have written in your comment?

Can't you see and feel how selfish,wicked, and heartless the action of the husband is on the Maid?

Just imagine the maid involve to be your Sister or family relation... How would you take up the matter?

That your husband must be from the south west abi?

123papas:
How did she tempt him. If it was her sister or relation that came to help, that is how he will rape her too.

You guys are rascal. So even if you are tempted, should you fall. Plenty girls dey outside, why the one in your house, why the one in your church, why the one in your street? I tire for una ohhh

Try to connect with the reality, do you think those in church, office, neighbours immune from this kind of assault? Even this what some girls are using for a living. Men will melt when it comes to sex, keep away adult female from your house, it's easiest temptation of close proximity.

Things are happening but were keeping from outside hearing.

Sometimes i wonder what will make a right thinking man force himself on any woman.

Mrslarissa98:
Hello everyone, I need your advice please.
I am half Nigerian. I am married and currently living in another African country with my husband and our two children. Our first child is 4 years old and the youngest is 9 months old.

I was born and raised in Nigeria to a Nigerian father. When I was 13 years old, my parents divorced. My mother took me, my younger brother, and my elder sister from her previous relationship back to her country. Since we left, I have not seen or spoken to my father.

Unfortunately, my mother passed away two years later when I was only 15. Life was very difficult for us because my mother’s family treated us badly, but that is not really what I am looking for advice about, so I will keep the story short.

I got married 5 years ago, and 3 years ago my husband and I relocated to a different African country. We are both involved in business. I run a hair salon while also taking care of my duties as a wife and mother.

When I started my business, my daughter was already 2 years old and attending school, so it was easier to manage both my business and my responsibilities at home. But when I became pregnant with my son, I knew it would not be easy anymore because I would need someone to help take care of him while I worked. I stayed home for about 3 months after he was born, and when I was preparing to return to work, I asked my pastor’s wife to help me find someone to assist me. She had helped other people find help before, and she introduced us to a 19-year-old girl who came to live with us.

At first, everything was going well. She took very good care of my baby. My daughter’s school was close to my shop, so I was the one dropping her off and picking her up. We had planned that the following year we would move her to a school closer to the house so the girl could help with picking her up.

Let me also add that while I was on maternity leave, my husband used to come home around 1 p.m. to eat lunch. But when I returned to work, I asked him not to come home during the day anymore and to start taking food to work instead, which he did.

When my baby was about 5 months old, we left for work as usual. Around 10 a.m., my phone rang. It was my husband saying he was at the hospital with the maid and the baby. I panicked and asked what happened and if my baby was okay. He said the baby was fine, but the maid was the one who was not well.

He told me that he was at work, but he suddenly felt very uneasy, like something was telling him to go home and check on the baby. When he got home, he heard the baby crying inside the room where the maid shared with our daughter. At first, he ignored it, thinking maybe she was changing the baby. But the crying became worse, and he heard a loud bump. He called the maid’s name, but there was no response. When he entered the room, he found her lying on the floor naked, and the baby was next to her crying. He picked up the baby and called the neighbors, who helped cover her and put her in his car. One male neighbor followed them to help with the baby while they went to the hospital.

The girl was unconscious at first, but later she recovered. After she was discharged, I was wondering what could have happened. I asked her if she had any history of seizures or something similar, but she said no. She explained that she could not clearly remember what happened that day. She said that after putting the baby to sleep, she rushed to take a bath, and after coming out of the bathroom she could not remember anything else until she woke up in the hospital.

During the following days, I allowed her to rest as much as possible, and I started taking my baby with me to my shop. It was not easy, but I wanted her to recover.

One day, I came back home and found the house empty. She was nowhere to be found. I panicked and called her number, but it was switched off. I called our pastor’s wife, but she said she had not seen her. She was already aware of what had happened at the hospital. We were all worried and tried to reach her without success. Our pastor’s wife even sent someone to her aunt’s house to check if she was there, but she was not.
After a few days, we found out that she was staying with her elder sister in another town. We felt some relief knowing she was at least with family. We tried to contact her to ask why she left suddenly, but she would not pick up our calls.
Four months later, she came back to the church and informed our pastor that the reason she left my house was because, according to her, ever since she started living with us, my husband had been making advances toward her. She said she always refused him. She claimed that on the day of the incident, my husband came home and met her in the room while she was dressing, forced himself on her, beat her, and she passed out.
The pastor called us, and the girl repeated this in front of everyone. My husband could not deny it and started begging for forgiveness. I was completely shattered. Although the pastor and his wife counseled us and tried to reconcile us, and my husband has been begging for forgiveness, I am still heartbroken. I am no longer interested in this marriage. I feel anger and pain whenever I look at him.

Now I feel like taking my children and going back to my home country. I cry every day and feel very depressed. I really need advice, please help me.

Let me commend your writing skill and style first. You are a Good writer and a Good story Teller. Keep it up.

Now, to the matter at hand.

Madame, please, Take heart. You have every reason to feel the way you are feeling right now.

It's disgusting, painful and heart breaking to discover that one's husband can perpetrate such a selfish, wicked and heartless art towards your 19 yrs old maid.

Just take your time find somewhere else to go cool off your mind.

Mrslarissa98:
Hello everyone, I need your advice please.
I am half Nigerian. I am married and currently living in another African country with my husband and our two children. Our first child is 4 years old and the youngest is 9 months old.

I was born and raised in Nigeria to a Nigerian father. When I was 13 years old, my parents divorced. My mother took me, my younger brother, and my elder sister from her previous relationship back to her country. Since we left, I have not seen or spoken to my father.

Unfortunately, my mother passed away two years later when I was only 15. Life was very difficult for us because my mother’s family treated us badly, but that is not really what I am looking for advice about, so I will keep the story short.

I got married 5 years ago, and 3 years ago my husband and I relocated to a different African country. We are both involved in business. I run a hair salon while also taking care of my duties as a wife and mother.

When I started my business, my daughter was already 2 years old and attending school, so it was easier to manage both my business and my responsibilities at home. But when I became pregnant with my son, I knew it would not be easy anymore because I would need someone to help take care of him while I worked. I stayed home for about 3 months after he was born, and when I was preparing to return to work, I asked my pastor’s wife to help me find someone to assist me. She had helped other people find help before, and she introduced us to a 19-year-old girl who came to live with us.

At first, everything was going well. She took very good care of my baby. My daughter’s school was close to my shop, so I was the one dropping her off and picking her up. We had planned that the following year we would move her to a school closer to the house so the girl could help with picking her up.

Let me also add that while I was on maternity leave, my husband used to come home around 1 p.m. to eat lunch. But when I returned to work, I asked him not to come home during the day anymore and to start taking food to work instead, which he did.

When my baby was about 5 months old, we left for work as usual. Around 10 a.m., my phone rang. It was my husband saying he was at the hospital with the maid and the baby. I panicked and asked what happened and if my baby was okay. He said the baby was fine, but the maid was the one who was not well.

He told me that he was at work, but he suddenly felt very uneasy, like something was telling him to go home and check on the baby. When he got home, he heard the baby crying inside the room where the maid shared with our daughter. At first, he ignored it, thinking maybe she was changing the baby. But the crying became worse, and he heard a loud bump. He called the maid’s name, but there was no response. When he entered the room, he found her lying on the floor naked, and the baby was next to her crying. He picked up the baby and called the neighbors, who helped cover her and put her in his car. One male neighbor followed them to help with the baby while they went to the hospital.

The girl was unconscious at first, but later she recovered. After she was discharged, I was wondering what could have happened. I asked her if she had any history of seizures or something similar, but she said no. She explained that she could not clearly remember what happened that day. She said that after putting the baby to sleep, she rushed to take a bath, and after coming out of the bathroom she could not remember anything else until she woke up in the hospital.

During the following days, I allowed her to rest as much as possible, and I started taking my baby with me to my shop. It was not easy, but I wanted her to recover.

One day, I came back home and found the house empty. She was nowhere to be found. I panicked and called her number, but it was switched off. I called our pastor’s wife, but she said she had not seen her. She was already aware of what had happened at the hospital. We were all worried and tried to reach her without success. Our pastor’s wife even sent someone to her aunt’s house to check if she was there, but she was not.
After a few days, we found out that she was staying with her elder sister in another town. We felt some relief knowing she was at least with family. We tried to contact her to ask why she left suddenly, but she would not pick up our calls.
Four months later, she came back to the church and informed our pastor that the reason she left my house was because, according to her, ever since she started living with us, my husband had been making advances toward her. She said she always refused him. She claimed that on the day of the incident, my husband came home and met her in the room while she was dressing, forced himself on her, beat her, and she passed out.
The pastor called us, and the girl repeated this in front of everyone. My husband could not deny it and started begging for forgiveness. I was completely shattered. Although the pastor and his wife counseled us and tried to reconcile us, and my husband has been begging for forgiveness, I am still heartbroken. I am no longer interested in this marriage. I feel anger and pain whenever I look at him.

Now I feel like taking my children and going back to my home country. I cry every day and feel very depressed. I really need advice, please help me.

Madam, you're not serious!

How can you allow a full grown girl of 19 to come to your house as a maid and expect nothing to happen between she and your husband?

Like I said you're not serious. If you were serious you would have gotten a nanny from 55years and above or even 60yrs

cococandy:
Away from the rapist for a start. What an insane question

....Very insane question! Just imagine the rubbish myopic mentality!

This is how some people go about discouraging certain persons from moving away from toxic marriages and relationships.

angelboy01:
In all of these you still haven't looked for your father. Your late mom has so much brainwashed you that you still hate your father till this day. I pray to God not to have this kind of child. My advice look for your father. Without your father you wouldn't even be existing today but wickedness in high places will block your reasoning not to know.

That is the point! That is why from what I have observed in life, if you see any woman from a broken home, be careful, most of them are damaged.

Tzar:
Monogamy is the problem. Marriages face difficulties when the woman gives birth because she no longer meets the sexual needs of the man (due to trauma, increased chores, etc) or vag1nal childbirth changes the anatomy of the private part and losens it (with herbs and kegel exercise this can be corrected over a long time). Men marry multiple women so that while the childbearing wife fully recovers, her co-wife helps out sexually and visa versa. This is how the sanity of marriage was stabilized in several cultures over thousands of years… until the West cooked up the evil that polygamy is bad.
The man committed a crime if he SAed the maid. If SA is established, he should be punished or the maid heavily compensated. On the other hand, I recommend you fight for your marriage. Don’t continue the circle of divorce at the slightest reason. Remember what happened when your mum divorced your dad. This is not to say you should stay if your man continues to be a monster, but your marriage is still worth saving for the kids sake.
I recommend that society embraces polygamy to reduce these kinds of incidents in marriage. The West sold the world the lie of monogamy and we all need to change our worldview about this lie from hell demonizing polygamy.

It's like your brain is paining you?

So, a man can't control his sexual urge for just a few months while his wife is recovering from a near-death experience? No use this kind brain cross road o. It's people like you that makes me feel ashamed of being called a man.

The truth is that Polygamy won't solve a man's uncontrolled sexual desire; only self discipline will. Any man that can't control his sexual urge is no different from a wild animal.

In about 10 years of my marriage, I've had countless female relatives (both from my side & my wife's) stay with us. And not even for once have I ever looked at them the wrong way talk less of touching them. Shame for don kill me. We've had grown up ladies as maids, some of my wife's friends have at one point in time stayed with us. Nothing! There are certain lines that a man should never cross. Haba nau! A 19 year old maid in your house?

One of the first things my dad taught us (while growing up) was to have self discipline when it comes to money or women. And I still thank God for that.

We too dey condone nonsense in this country. In a saner clime, that man would be rotting in prison by now. And that will make another animal think twice before committing such atrocity.

The woman shouldn't hesistate to leave the animal. He's a threat to their children. If he could assault a helpless 19 year old maid in his house, then I doubt his daughter will be safe from his perverted mind. Shameless He-goat!

#Spits

Goo0dHardDick:
Madam, you're not serious!

How can you allow a full grown girl of 19 to come to your house as a maid and expect nothing to happen between she and your husband?

Like I said you're not serious. If you were serious you would have gotten a nanny from 55years and above or even 60yrs

...No blame her on this. She is a young mother and wife at that, Her mindset is positive and innocent.

She just believe say ,her man mind go dey like her own.

Even at that, the husband no be am, no be better man.

Whether this story is fake or not, I don't care

But the home training that many African men lack on sex & explicit consent from partners...

Many of them are taught bitter lessons abroad, now that emigration has drastically increased.

Then you hear them complaining they were set up by Whites. Who will set up a no-body ? When you're not Martin Luther King or Malcolm X.

Even if you ask them what they would have done if it happened to their mother, or daughter or sisters, they still don't understand the ggrim reality of rap3 for victims.

I am not a fan of most principles of feminism, but women go through a lot in the hands of African men to be honest

See the disgustn* comments by most males on this thread

Cc. Mrslarissa98.... If your story is true and you cover up for your rap**st husband, karma can come eventually for your own daughter

The 19 year old maid was an innocent daughter of someone too

Seem these kind of scenarios in real life and they always cover for the uselessmen. Some eventually suffer the consequences later

pocohantas:
Some comments are sensible.
Some are quite interesting.

It is better to remain married to a rapist than be a divorcee. Hmmm... We learn everyday.


- Sit him down and warn him.
- Compensate her.
- What if you still want him?



Marriage benefits women indeed.

ravensckar:
It's like your brain is paining you?

So, a man can't control his sexual urge for just a few months while his wife is recovering from a near-death experience? No use this kind brain cross road o. It's people like you that makes me feel ashamed of being called a man.

The truth is that Polygamy won't solve a man's uncontrolled sexual desire; only self discipline will. Any man that can't control his sexual urge is no different from a wild animal.

In about 10 years of my marriage, I've had countless female relatives (both from my side & my wife's) stay with us. And not even for once have I ever looked at them the wrong way talk less of touching them. Shame for don kill me. We've had grown up ladies as maids, some of my wife's friends have at one point in time stayed with us. Nothing! There are certain lines that a man should never cross. Haba nau! A 19 year old maid in your house?

One of the first things my dad taught us (while growing up) was to have self discipline when it comes to money or women. And I still thank God for that.

We too dey condone nonsense in this country. In a saner clime, that man would be rotting in prison by now. And that will make another animal think twice before committing such atrocity.

The woman shouldn't hesistate to leave the animal. He's a threat to their children. If he could assault a helpless 19 year old maid in his house, then I doubt his daughter will be safe from his perverted mind. Shameless He-goat!

#Spits

My brother, you don talk am finish.

If person no control himself on this particular matter, person go take vex throway phone because of the Nonsense and Annoying comments wey some persons dey drop on this forum..

Base on this particular matter, the woman husband na very heartless, selfish and wicked Man.

Mrslarissa98:
She was 19 at the time and is now 20 years old. She and her family refused to press charges. They stated that all they wanted was for the truth to come out. They have neither pressed charges nor requested any money from us.

Great error from the church, your family to take an adult as a maid.
What do you expect?