₦airaland Forum

Stephen0mozzy:
I was watching a video on YouTube by one wise Nigerian, and he maid one quote



Come to think of the moral decadence of the kids and young adults today, is it really far from the truth? Teens these days do not even have a sense of responsibility or consequence - they have zero respect for authority.

Whe we were growing up, it was not like this with us, there used to be a saying then that "na one person dey born pikin, but na the whole community dey train am" - but these days, you can't even correct a child before their parents rain on you like hawks.

Where did we get it wrong? What can we do to remedy the situation, or atleast the nezt generation?

Share your thoughts.

Are these not pressing issues?

Stephen0mozzy:
You can imagine, that right there is an example of a failed father. How can such a father serve as a role model to deter the son from such criminal activity?

You wan break e leg because he nor dey use you as agent for yahoo? Abomination indeed.

Till today, if you can't show a record of how you come about money (job or skills), my mum nor go touch whatever you give her, let alone lay demands.

fyzaila:
Those that are pampering their kids into stupidity, I pray that stupidity fall back on the pamperers. Let the well trained ones live peacefully and enjoy all the goodies life has to offer

Stephen0mozzy:
You can imagine, that right there is an example of a failed father. How can such a father serve as a role model to deter the son from such criminal activity?

You wan break e leg because he nor dey use you as agent for yahoo? Abomination indeed.

Till today, if you can't show a record of how you come about money (job or skills), my mum nor go touch whatever you give her, let alone lay demands.

Stephen0mozzy:
I was watching a video on YouTube by one wise Nigerian, and he maid one quote



Come to think of the moral decadence of the kids and young adults today, is it really far from the truth? Teens these days do not even have a sense of responsibility or consequence - they have zero respect for authority.

Whe we were growing up, it was not like this with us, there used to be a saying then that "na one person dey born pikin, but na the whole community dey train am" - but these days, you can't even correct a child before their parents rain on you like hawks.

Where did we get it wrong? What can we do to remedy the situation, or atleast the nezt generation?

Share your thoughts.

Are these not pressing issues?

Stephen0mozzy:
I was watching a video on YouTube by one wise Nigerian, and he maid one quote



Come to think of the moral decadence of the kids and young adults today, is it really far from the truth? Teens these days do not even have a sense of responsibility or consequence - they have zero respect for authority.

Whe we were growing up, it was not like this with us, there used to be a saying then that "na one person dey born pikin, but na the whole community dey train am" - but these days, you can't even correct a child before their parents rain on you like hawks.

Where did we get it wrong? What can we do to remedy the situation, or atleast the nezt generation?

Share your thoughts.

Are these not pressing issues?

GloriousGbola:
it is more nuanced than that

when i was in uni, you would sometimes have whole families in a school

i and my sister both went to unilorin.

i saw families with three, four sometimes five siblings and you would see variation

you would see two sisters - one a runs babe , the other a hajia
you would see brothers one pastor, the other womaniser
you would see one brother alfa one brother regular guy, one brother rap-st

so it is not quite so cut and dried. you try to do your best as a parent but sometimes what will be will be
and also some kids from messed up homes actively try to ensure they do not follow the same path

today i am seeing some party girls from my school days being overly strict parents

as for parents of yahoo - a large number of nigerians are unable to empathize and understand long term consequences

back in the 2010s, i had colleagues at work joking about kidnapping white men. they did not hink of the trauma, or more directly, the culture being put in place. you start with oyibo, but it will trickle down to us and here we are today

same way yahoo boys are now attacking 16 and 14 years olds online. they are creating a culture where it will be looked at as ok for adults to rob children.

Stephen0mozzy:
I was watching a video on YouTube by one wise Nigerian, and he maid one quote



Come to think of the moral decadence of the kids and young adults today, is it really far from the truth? Teens these days do not even have a sense of responsibility or consequence - they have zero respect for authority.

Whe we were growing up, it was not like this with us, there used to be a saying then that "na one person dey born pikin, but na the whole community dey train am" - but these days, you can't even correct a child before their parents rain on you like hawks.

Where did we get it wrong? What can we do to remedy the situation, or atleast the nezt generation?

Share your thoughts.

Are these not pressing issues?

brain54:
In my mind you could have been brought up by good parents...


But got it wrong along the way with the kids. Parents have became too lax and lazy along the way to raise their kids the way they themselves were raised.


In my mind also the dynamics changed drastically with the embrace of Western ideals, culture and values at the detriment of ours/ African which was used in raising those parents. With time it eroded alot of things and created that void.


What we are experiencing is the effects of over Westernization which has resulted in baby parents raising children.


They are other reasons ofcourse... but I think this played a major role!

fyzaila:
Is this new to you? This one na old story now. Kids/yahoo boyz that are buying latest model of cars here and there it's now just land that is awing you surprising you.

Stephen0mozzy:
I was watching a video on YouTube by one wise Nigerian, and he maid one quote



Come to think of the moral decadence of the kids and young adults today, is it really far from the truth? Teens these days do not even have a sense of responsibility or consequence - they have zero respect for authority.

Whe we were growing up, it was not like this with us, there used to be a saying then that "na one person dey born pikin, but na the whole community dey train am" - but these days, you can't even correct a child before their parents rain on you like hawks.

Where did we get it wrong? What can we do to remedy the situation, or atleast the nezt generation?

Share your thoughts.

Are these not pressing issues?

UnknownQueen:
I don’t have any problem with disciplining a child or raising them to become responsible and well-rounded. Where I take issue is with people like the O.P who are quick to say, “this isn’t how it used to be” or “we never did this in our time,” as if things should never change. That mindset ignores a simple truth, change is constant, and every generation faces its own realities.
Interestingly, there were no phones back then, yet today many would argue that phones are one of the biggest influences, most times negative, on this generation. If we’re going to reject everything new, then that should be included too.
So O.P, I’ll challenge you to stop using a phone as well, and please don’t claim you only use it for the benefits only.

Idaytesj29:
Why are you concerned beyond normal? There is prison all over the place to take care the problem. They will be kept away, the system will tell them they can't escape accountability

Stephen0mozzy:
Wetin concern phone concern, lack of respect, immorality that now reigns supreme, the utter lack of shame, the zero sense of responsibility and consequences?

I, being the OP, didn't say there were no riffraffs in our time, but I'm telling you, in the house, street and community i grew up in, children understand that ANYONE CAN DISCIPLINE YOU - but do parents these days allow that? Have you not seen reported cases where parents actually go and beat up teachers in school (and I'm talking about for simple things like, punishment, or canning on the hands, or being scolded).

Maybe you're a teenager, you'd have seen the evidence of the decadence in what we call children these days.

Selah.

Ishilove:
Wait ... The 17 year old bought land?

UnknownQueen:
In one sentence, tell me what the discipline of those days ever produced in today's parent?

Abi no be the Children of those days who are now parents dey say NOoooo you shouldnt discipline or cane my child for me..
If these present day parents say No to that style of parenting or discipline, let them be..
Stop looking for whose child to cane or discipline when you can simply give birth to a truck load of children and discipline them however you like..

SixSeven:
@thrillionaire

Parents today think that giving their kids gadgets from an early age will make them smart but thank God there's AI now. We can now see that the old process of reading, writing and the traditional methods can never fail you. If I have any advice to a parent, it is to prevent their child from using smartphone and technology till they are 13. Parents today need to learn how to teach their children CONTROL. The dopamine is like hard drugs, we can't just see it. We are raising adults who will not be able to think critically anymore. You can see it here on Nairaland. Some people think it's cruise, it is not. A forum is a place to exchange ideas and thoughts. You can see those who read to understand and those who read to reply. They are rage baiting and want all the attention because the tech companies are controlling them, dangling tiger, dragon and other monetary benefits to them to CONTROL THEM.

The old parents back then controlled our TV. I miss those TVs in a box. Now, the smart TV is listening to you and curating what it wants to give you. Kids of that time are now parents today but they think they are going to parent differently by making the kids smart early through coding, gaming etc. Life is not a race, it is a journey. Give those kids the fundamentals of life before it hurts them in the future. A good example of why tech doesn't make you smart is the TikToker, I've forgotten his name. Pull out that channel and you'll see that there's nothing to offer anymore. But people are dangerously lured to the financial reward that they can't think long term.

SixSeven:
Parents are living vicariously through their children and it is becoming a menace. It is a lack of identity, a lack of self worth and an abuse on the innocent child who is not allowed to enjoy their childhood or youth with proper adult supervision. Don't take the attention away from the child, let the freaking child play in their own world and environment. Na agbaya de steal the show of pikin, letting these kids face unnecessary humiliation the following week when they have to compare their parents. Damn it! Small time nau, these parents will enter the changing rooms of the kids and we will start complaining about Sexual Abuse. Eediots

The phone is not helping matters but when you see a lot of adult behaviour in Nigeria, you can tell that many of them have unhealed trauma. It's not just a Nigerian thing, I know, but I can tell you that parents today have spent more time condemning their own parents' style of parenting more than they have done in the actual work of parenting their kids. I feel sorry for kids born today because in a few years, many of them will come on the internet and curse their parents for putting their lives on the internet without their permission, from the announcement of pregnancy to livestreaming their birth and opening a social media page for them before they had sense. The phone has really revealed the children in us. There is a time and place for everything.

SixSeven:
Money is good o but let me humor you a bit. You are planning for your children in Naira but they decide to pursue their future in Dhiram or Australia pound or let's say in 2065, the Sudanese pound is more than the British pound and your child goes there. Your child will not value all your hard work. What about children who do well than anyone in their generation has ever done?

The greatest gift to inherit from parents is not financial, but emotional and intangible, including unconditional love, presence, wisdom, and strong values. These lasting legacies shape a child's confidence and character, often considered more valuable than material wealth. Other key inheritances include a good reputation and a well-planned estate. Your plan is in estate but know that anything can happen to it.

Give your children intangible assets when you are available. During the Nigerian Civil War, the government made millionaires poor with a policy they passed. Some people have fled a country as rich people only to start their lives in a new country as refugees.

We tend to plan for life in the current image we have of it without realizing that we do not control the future we have a vision of


https://www.tiktok.com/video/7509956901187194118

Nobody serves a local dog with a golden plate, it will end up messing up the plate. I remember someone once said if you have children and none of them can say "my father used to say, my father said this, my father used to do this", then you have not lived yet.

Don't think I am a pessimist because generational wealth exists but I just want you to look at the larger picture. What are you living for?

SixSeven:
"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise."

While you are not responsible for the programming you received in childhood, as an adult, you are 100% responsible for fixing it, breaking dysfunctional cycles, and managing your own healing and growth. Though upbringing shapes initial behaviors, adulthood requires taking ownership to rewrite your narrative and consciously choose your actions. Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them, sometimes they forgive them." - Oscar Wilde. Don't take this trauma to your future relationships because you will continue to repeat the cycle instead of you learning from it and making your own life work. You will be trying to avenge your site your dad when he has a different personality, different state of mind, different age of love and marriage, different economy, different generation, and so on. You will be doing the work that wasn't given to you. You won't break free because you've made judgement on what you currently see.

"What an adult sees sitting, a child climbing on the tallest tree cannot see" - African Proverb. This means that a son may lack the life experience to see the true strength or wisdom behind his father’s choices.

SixSeven:
I also blamed the principal for not protecting their staff but if all that is reported is true, they said the principal recorded the video. That is one good thing I can commend the principal for. The thing with powerful people is that they get carried away by their might so maybe the principal is helpless (it is still wrong sha) and rather than do anything, they recorded it.

This is why people in the so-called abroad pick up the phone immediately. They record the incident because the person committing the crime go explain taya. That school needs to review their procedures. Disciplinary procedures, security and meeting procedures.


We still have a lot of baby parents from the comments I can read here. I read every page here and remembered that even though I was a good student, I got into trouble and absolved myself of blame then. So the people commenting about children are absolutely right, children do not usually accept responsibility because they don't have one yet. It is best to investigate what a child says as a parent instead of reacting emotionally. In your response as a parent, you have to remember that the kids are watching you too. I pity these parents because as they have done this, e fit be the boy uncle go chop beating tomorrow and the boy will expect the parents to defend him. Pikin wey de no train for inside, na for outside dem go teach am.

If the child was in Martial Arts, they will teach him the importance of discipline. It is not that you cannot react with your power but wisdom is more profitable to direct in situations of life. Wisdom is the teacher not responding to the beating but having the video as proof. Wisdom is the parent knowing they can beat the teacher but restraining themselves from that because of the child in front of them, the respect to the school, respect to the person and respect to the authorities. They could have spent that money suing the school after the incident but they chose the money miss road highway. Wisdom is the principal recording their behaviour and letting them know they are on camera. I heard when the parents were reminded and they replied like do your worst. Na the result of the worst be dis.

Stephen0mozzy:
Okay, i agree with you.

Guestmale:
The problem with we parents of nowadays is that in attempt trying not to let our children pass through difficulties we their parents pass through while growing up,we are now overdoing it and also the western culture we are copying now make the situation even worse.

SixSeven:
Yes, I wanted to remember something I always say. In doing ITK, parents today are doing oversabi in correcting what they thought their own parents did wrong but foolishly not doing any better than their parents. Their parents taught them what they knew, instead of working hard, today's parents are motivational speakers. They talk more than they work and they are not ripe yet. Why? Because they don't think of the future in the way they behave, they only think of today. Before correcting something you think is wrong, ask your parent, why did you do this?

Some intelligence get why! That's why in our traditions, they put everything at a stage. There is a stage your brain will understand some things, there is a stage you will be wise. Also, Africans have thrown away rituals. Most African societies had rites of passage into adulthood. Today's parents aren't interested in that.

I will give you a classic example. Most parents today talk about trauma of beating etc. Agreed, physical punishment is not a good thing. We even know that it is abused. Should it be totally done away with? Not necessarily. Okay, let's say you don't want beating. Do you want corporal punishment for your child? Yes or No. Most parents will say no. Now, do you know that until the 70s, the British used to cane students in school? Go TO Australia, Canada or US and find out in their archives when they stopped. Some people will quote spare the rod and spoil the child. In Africa, things have stages, we have culture. Some are abusive but instead of us to take the wisdom, we throw everything away in name of modernity.

Stephen0mozzy:
I'm concerned because, I'm vested in raising my own kids in a society where being a GOOD CHILD is not seen as weird.

By the wayz our prisons don't do nothing other than cage and criminalize them more.

Kaczynski:
i’ve seen more logic in a recursive loop with a memory leak than in this entire thread.


the problem isn't pampering, the problem is a lack of stress testing. if you insulate a child from the consequences of their own incompetence, you are essentially shipping buggy software to production without running a single unit test. when the system eventually crashes in the real world and it will you don't get to act surprised that the server room is on fire.

as for respect for authority most authority is just a collection of fragile egos hiding behind titles they didn't earn. if these kids don't respect you, it’s probably because they’ve realized your traditional wisdom has zero utility in a world where AI can do your job better than you ever could.

stop trying to fix the next generation. let the darwinian process run its course. the weak ones will become social media influencers or UI designers, and the ones who actually possess a brain will learn to code and survive the collapse.

Onegai:
I kind of have to disagree with this statement:

Sometimes you can be good parents, yet have bad kids who don't listen to you

I actually think it's rare in real life. And if it happens, then you're looking at Serial killer or mass murderer or someone who was born with a different wired brain.

Everyone I know has so far, followed the path that their parents set out for them. They are products of their upbringing to the core, down to their mistakes. Myself included.

I've never seen truly good parents bring out a truly bad child.

I have, however, seen parents who think they're good, bring out kids who are "na wa".

I'm seeing someone who was a very "good" child misbehave as a man in his 30s. His parents will swear they were good parents but I know for a fact he was spoiled and grew up with a prideful, cruel father and a deceitful mother (they're pillars of society publicly). Now everyone is shocked at his actions.

Almost every "runz" babe I know, their parents profile pic is wearing CWO/CMO uniform beaming with pride at the camera. Yes, they absolutely think they're excellent parents. But your child won't have a passion for selfishness, covetiousness and greed if they didn't learn it from home.

Almost everyone I know working in govt inflating contracts, their parents' churches celebrated them as "pillars of society"

Even us as parents, we're very lax but we all think we're "good" parents. Myself included.

Nigeria is truly not a country of morals. We're a country of eye-service. We need to stop acting shocked that the next generation is tired of pretending and is showing it openly.

fyzaila:
Those that are pampering their kids into stupidity, I pray that stupidity fall back on the pamperers. Let the well trained ones live peacefully and enjoy all the goodies life has to offer