₦airaland Forum

Ifexibe:
Women fundamentally lack the capacity to fully realize, much less appreciate the sacrifices a man makes to facilitate her reality. Even the most enlightened, appreciative woman you know still operates in a feminine-centric reality." - Rational Male

All women are the same.

All women are not the same. It's like saying all men are the same

Apart from the obvious economic hardship slapping men left, right and centre, most of these ladies are not really ready to be wives. They're just ready to be married and there's a major difference there. Being a wife and mother entails a lot of intentional responsibilities and accountability which most of them feel too big to carry on.

They want to be married and still live like singles. Only spineless men will condone that. Money or no money, a man who knows himself will never wife a woman who isn't willing to be a woman but rather sees herself as the man. Come with your useless, fake, woke beliefs about equality bs and I tell you for free, no man is equal with his wife. Yes they're one as a unit but structurally the man is above her and until she sees him in that light and respects and submits to him in that way, then and only then will she be truly ready to be wifed.

Any other kind of being ready na wash. Women do not show love the way we do. The way a woman shows she truly loves a man is by respecting him, following his lead, acknowledging he is above her as the leader of the Klan. It's how they can be even loyal to you when you're not there.

If you've ever had a girl who loved you even once. Do you not remember how they behave? They break all their so called fake rules that they've set-up around themselves for you, bend for you, give up anything else for the benefit of both of you. She holds you in high regards, esteem and admiration and you can actually see this in her eyes each time ahe stares at you and how she carries herself around you. If a woman can't do these things obgeni just forget na business transaction Una dey into and you go need use your brain fast.

emmaodet:
You know you are not forced to send it.
With or without you, they will find a way and survive.
It always look as if they won't survive without you or if you don't send that money home, hell will fall but it is a damn lie.
People will tend to live within their means if your enemy drops dead.
$5000 plus every month is no joke.
And pls avoid dipping your hands in unnecessary huge projects like trying to build a duplex back home, it will keep you working for a very long time

Thanks for the reminder. The thing is this: I give only what I can. If I no get, I'll simply tell them: "I don't have". Fortunately enough, my siblings all have paying jobs, so they won't throw tantrums or be sad if I don't temporary send funds.

Gerrard59:
The economy is really at fault here, as the term "hook up" got a sexual meaning after the 2015 elections. But then, Nigerians voted for the APC. So? Even the man - Tunde Bakare - you have in your signature was once a Buhari's VP candidate and camapaigned for the APC in 2015, 2019 and 2023.

lol

Same Nigerians that voted APC now want them out.

But what's Bakare's connection with the topic? By your logic, Osinbajo is now incapable of speaking the truth because he was Buhari's VP.

O

essentialone:
You just described a whole demographic that nobody wants to talk about because it makes everyone uncomfortable.

*“Involuntary single ladies”* — fine, educated, stable, ready… but still single. Not by choice. By market failure.

And you’re right: they’re everywhere. Hospitals, banks, law firms, tech companies, church choir, weddings. The complete package with an empty ring finger. And it’s not because “men are intimidated” or “their standards too high”. That’s lazy gist.

*Why it’s happening — the ugly truth about the dating market now*

1. *Too many options, zero filters*
Dating apps + Instagram + LinkedIn = everyone is accessible. So men keep “shopping”. Why commit to 1 great woman when 10 “maybes” are in his DM? He promises today, disappears tomorrow because tomorrow brought a new option. Women do it too, but men drive the ghosting stats.

2. *Serious men marry early, unserious men stay in circulation*
The guys ready for marriage at 28-32 lock down fast. Who’s left in the pool at 33+? Mostly: players, wounded men, perpetual “I’m not ready”, and broke men looking for a sponsor. So these solid women keep dating from a pool that’s already filtered for non-commitment.

3. *Timeline mismatch*
She’s 29-35, educated, stable. She wants kids + marriage in 2-3 years. She dates intentionally. The guy she meets is 35, “still finding himself”, “not under pressure”, wants to “see where it goes”. He can waste 2 years because his biological clock isn’t ticking. Hers is.

4. *She adjusted expectations, but the bar is on the floor*
These women already lowered standards: “Just be God-fearing, have work, and want family”. That’s bare minimum. Yet they still meet men who lie, cheat, can’t communicate, or want her to be mummy + girlfriend + ATM. So “adjusting” doesn’t help when the market is broken.

5. *Strong women get punished, not rewarded*
A doctor/nurse who paid her own bills, has her car, no drama, gets called “too independent” or “masculine”. Meanwhile, the high-maintenance, jobless babe gets chased because she “needs saving”. Some men don’t want a partner. They want a project. So the stable woman gets ignored.

6. *Women don’t approach, men don’t propose*
Culturally, she still can’t say “I like you, let’s date seriously”. She has to wait to be chosen. But the men choosing are unserious. So she’s stuck hoping the right one finds her in traffic.

*What happens to these women?*

You listed it:
*Some settle* – Marry the barely-available guy because “better than nothing”. Resentment later.
*Some give up* – “God when” turns to “God abeg”. Career, travel, cats, God.
*Some still hopeful but tired* – They’re dating but numb. Every new guy feels like another interview that will end in “we’ll see”.

And the worst part? *It’s not their fault.* They did everything “right”. School, career, character, prayer. But the market rewards vibes, not value.

*What the market isn’t saying out loud*

1. *Men are scared of responsibility, not strong women*
Marriage, kids, bills, in-laws — many men in Nigeria are running from that. So they date the stable woman, enjoy her peace, then run when she asks “what are we?” Because she represents adulthood.

2. *Attention is cheaper than commitment*
It costs a man ₦0 to say “you’re wife material” in DM. Costs ₦5M+ to actually marry her. So he distributes free compliments to 20 women and commits to none.

3. *Many women are involuntary single, many men are involuntary unserious*
He’s 38, still in situationships, telling people “good women don finish”. No, bro. You met 4 good women. You wasted 6 months each because you can’t choose.

*So what’s the way forward for these ladies?*

Because “just pray” isn’t a strategy.

1. *Stop dating in the general pool* – If every guy in your DM is 33+ and “not sure”, your pool is contaminated. Meet men through married friends, professional networks, places where commitment is pre-screened. Farmers market vs Night club.

2. *Time-box ruthlessly* – “I’m dating intentionally. In 3 months we should know if this is heading to marriage. If we don’t, I exit.” Say it early. Unserious men will flee. That’s the point.

3. *Stop adjusting, start requiring* – “God-fearing + has job” is not enough. Add: “Can plan a date, communicates daily, introduces me to friends in 2 months, talks about future without sweating”. If he can’t, next.

4. *Date younger if values align* – Many 28-32 year old men are more ready than 38 year olds. Age isn’t maturity. Stop capping yourself at “must be older”.

5. *Consider location arbitrage* – Harsh but true: Nigeria dating market is brutal. Some women find serious men when they relocate to other locations in Nigeria, or even to abroad. Different pond, different fish.

6. *Build life without waiting* – Buy the land, freeze eggs, travel, start business. So you choose marriage from abundance, not desperation. Men can smell desperation and they run.

*What men need to hear too*

If you’re a serious guy reading this: These women are not scarce. They’re just tired of auditioning for clowns. If you meet one and you’re ready:
1. *Say it early* – “I’m looking for a wife, not a vibe.”
2. *Move with clarity* – No “let’s see how it goes” for 1 year.
3. *Match her effort* – She’s stable. Don’t come with chaos.

Because right now, the best women are going single while the worst men stay in rotation. That’s how a society collapses.

*Bottom line:* The dating market don change, yes. Less clarity, less commitment, more options. But options without character = poverty.

These women aren’t “unlucky”. They’re in a rigged game. Solution isn’t “try harder”. Solution is “change the game or change the players”.

This piece was written by a woman, I'm guessing.
Many truths and many delusions. The usual delusions.

Here are some simple truths.
In their youthful prime, women see themselves as the prize. They choose whom to give their prize. They give it for love, for free and for money and resources.
When youth begin to fade, the tables turn. They now look for a man to pay a great price and permanently latch on to that which had been previously given freely or sold cheaply.
Also,Social media have further destabilized the dynamics of dating ,courtship and social interactions, exposing the shallowness and fickleness of the greater numbers of the female gender.
So men are on guard, albeit confused, about making lifetime commitments that statistically have a short span and rigged against him.

DrFunmisticGlow:
So you believe that women should be downgraded so that men can be elevated.

It's like you didn't learn enough from history.

May your type never find me

May I never find your type. Amen. And may you never find my type. Amen.

You obviously struggle with comprehension and I am in no place to help you. Where, for the love of Mike, or how, did I in that piece insinuate those baggage of bias that you carry about like an armour?

May you find the help that you need.

Lolz

Gerrard59:
sounds like an advice given on Nairaland in 2013/2014.

I don too old for this forum...

TheStoriesOfMan:
Guy shake me. If all Nigerian men married all the women, whocup will reduce to the zero. Churches should encourage men to marry multiple women. After all, it is not a sin and the Abrahams, Isaacs and Jacobs marries multiple women and God didn't frown at it.

Na so! Even like eritria the govt should help men with the second wife 😃😃😃😃

plaetton:
O

This piece was written by a woman, I'm guessing.
Many truths and many delusions. The usual delusions.

Here are some simple truths.
In their youthful prime, women see themselves as the prize. They choose whom to give their prize. They give it for love, for free and for money and resources.
When youth begin to fade, the tables turn. They now look for a man to pay a great price and permanently latch on to that which had been previously given freely or sold cheaply.
Also,Social media have further destabilized the dynamics of dating ,courtship and social interactions, exposing the shallowness and fickleness of the greater numbers of the female gender.
So men are on guard, albeit confused, about making lifetime commitments that statistically have a short span and rigged against him.

Na AI write am

1forall:
Same Nigerians that voted APC now want them out.

But what's Bakare's connection with the topic? By your logic, Osinbajo is now incapable of speaking the truth because he was Buhari's VP.

Sorry, but the Nigerians who voted for Buhari did the same thing with Tinubu. Why are they surprised things aren't getting better? Why did they vote for Buhari who had been historically incompetent at everything he touched his hands on since 1984?

I don't buy the excuse, sorry. Nigerians knew what they wanted when they voted for Buhari in 2015. Nobody should complain.

Negroid001:
All women are not the same. It's like saying all men are the same

The good girl’s Game is built around playing to the ‘Quality Woman’ mythos that men harbor. They want to believe she exists among a sea of vapid, self-absorbed sluts looking to cash in before they hit the wall." - RM

One of the trappings of a woman a guy perceives as a ‘good girl’ is that he’ll have a tendency to pedestalize her by default." - Rational Male

You may be inclined to think of a good girl as a prude, but this is often in error. The good girl needs to be seductively cute enough to make her hypergamy work for her." RM

Negroid001:
All women are not the same. It's like saying all men are the same

Do you understand what is hypergamy?

Ifexibe:
The good girl’s Game is built around playing to the ‘Quality Woman’ mythos that men harbor. They want to believe she exists among a sea of vapid, self-absorbed sluts looking to cash in before they hit the wall." - RM

One of the trappings of a woman a guy perceives as a ‘good girl’ is that he’ll have a tendency to pedestalize her by default." - Rational Male

You may be inclined to think of a good girl as a prude, but this is often in error. The good girl needs to be seductively cute enough to make her hypergamy work for her." RM

You're spitting entrails. I said all women are not the same. I did not ask for your philosophy.

The answer is simple::more jobless men,less marriage.

More financially empowered men,more marriages

Negroid001:
You're spitting entrails. I said all women are not the same. I did not ask for your philosophy.

You're blue pilled and naive. I asked you, do you know what is hypergamy? Do you?

Kingsley1169:
The answer is simple::more jobless men,less marriage.

More financially empowered men,more marriages

I agree

pocohantas:
Marry your gfs.
There is one here always typing banny.
Since 2024 he said he is going to do introduction, this is 2026, he is still calling her my banny. Na unemployment hold that one too? Marry the ones you are dating first.

Sonnobax15 abi na wetin be that moniker sef

PerfectStranger:
For this hard economy that instead of helping more men with job roles, na women dey collect am.

If we start employing more men in different job sectors, over 70% of spinsters will get engaged.
Majority of today's 30+ men will not be getting married any time soon or at all, highest na to find one girl give belle, case close

Unfortunately, no sensible woman can take this kind of narrative seriously. We will keep advocating for more jobs and better opportunities rather than reduce women's participation in the economy over a secondary matter like marriage. Marriage is not survival.

I choose my career over marriage because marriage is secondary. I can live fully and happily without it.

The system is still unfair to women; men are far more represented in employment, while women remain underrepresented.

essentialone:
You just described a whole demographic that nobody wants to talk about because it makes everyone uncomfortable.

*“Involuntary single ladies”* — fine, educated, stable, ready… but still single. Not by choice. By market failure.

And you’re right: they’re everywhere. Hospitals, banks, law firms, tech companies, church choir, weddings. The complete package with an empty ring finger. And it’s not because “men are intimidated” or “their standards too high”. That’s lazy gist.

*Why it’s happening — the ugly truth about the dating market now*

1. *Too many options, zero filters*
Dating apps + Instagram + LinkedIn = everyone is accessible. So men keep “shopping”. Why commit to 1 great woman when 10 “maybes” are in his DM? He promises today, disappears tomorrow because tomorrow brought a new option. Women do it too, but men drive the ghosting stats.

2. *Serious men marry early, unserious men stay in circulation*
The guys ready for marriage at 28-32 lock down fast. Who’s left in the pool at 33+? Mostly: players, wounded men, perpetual “I’m not ready”, and broke men looking for a sponsor. So these solid women keep dating from a pool that’s already filtered for non-commitment.

3. *Timeline mismatch*
She’s 29-35, educated, stable. She wants kids + marriage in 2-3 years. She dates intentionally. The guy she meets is 35, “still finding himself”, “not under pressure”, wants to “see where it goes”. He can waste 2 years because his biological clock isn’t ticking. Hers is.

4. *She adjusted expectations, but the bar is on the floor*
These women already lowered standards: “Just be God-fearing, have work, and want family”. That’s bare minimum. Yet they still meet men who lie, cheat, can’t communicate, or want her to be mummy + girlfriend + ATM. So “adjusting” doesn’t help when the market is broken.

5. *Strong women get punished, not rewarded*
A doctor/nurse who paid her own bills, has her car, no drama, gets called “too independent” or “masculine”. Meanwhile, the high-maintenance, jobless babe gets chased because she “needs saving”. Some men don’t want a partner. They want a project. So the stable woman gets ignored.

6. *Women don’t approach, men don’t propose*
Culturally, she still can’t say “I like you, let’s date seriously”. She has to wait to be chosen. But the men choosing are unserious. So she’s stuck hoping the right one finds her in traffic.

*What happens to these women?*

You listed it:
*Some settle* – Marry the barely-available guy because “better than nothing”. Resentment later.
*Some give up* – “God when” turns to “God abeg”. Career, travel, cats, God.
*Some still hopeful but tired* – They’re dating but numb. Every new guy feels like another interview that will end in “we’ll see”.

And the worst part? *It’s not their fault.* They did everything “right”. School, career, character, prayer. But the market rewards vibes, not value.

*What the market isn’t saying out loud*

1. *Men are scared of responsibility, not strong women*
Marriage, kids, bills, in-laws — many men in Nigeria are running from that. So they date the stable woman, enjoy her peace, then run when she asks “what are we?” Because she represents adulthood.

2. *Attention is cheaper than commitment*
It costs a man ₦0 to say “you’re wife material” in DM. Costs ₦5M+ to actually marry her. So he distributes free compliments to 20 women and commits to none.

3. *Many women are involuntary single, many men are involuntary unserious*
He’s 38, still in situationships, telling people “good women don finish”. No, bro. You met 4 good women. You wasted 6 months each because you can’t choose.

*So what’s the way forward for these ladies?*

Because “just pray” isn’t a strategy.

1. *Stop dating in the general pool* – If every guy in your DM is 33+ and “not sure”, your pool is contaminated. Meet men through married friends, professional networks, places where commitment is pre-screened. Farmers market vs Night club.

2. *Time-box ruthlessly* – “I’m dating intentionally. In 3 months we should know if this is heading to marriage. If we don’t, I exit.” Say it early. Unserious men will flee. That’s the point.

3. *Stop adjusting, start requiring* – “God-fearing + has job” is not enough. Add: “Can plan a date, communicates daily, introduces me to friends in 2 months, talks about future without sweating”. If he can’t, next.

4. *Date younger if values align* – Many 28-32 year old men are more ready than 38 year olds. Age isn’t maturity. Stop capping yourself at “must be older”.

5. *Consider location arbitrage* – Harsh but true: Nigeria dating market is brutal. Some women find serious men when they relocate to other locations in Nigeria, or even to abroad. Different pond, different fish.

6. *Build life without waiting* – Buy the land, freeze eggs, travel, start business. So you choose marriage from abundance, not desperation. Men can smell desperation and they run.

*What men need to hear too*

If you’re a serious guy reading this: These women are not scarce. They’re just tired of auditioning for clowns. If you meet one and you’re ready:
1. *Say it early* – “I’m looking for a wife, not a vibe.”
2. *Move with clarity* – No “let’s see how it goes” for 1 year.
3. *Match her effort* – She’s stable. Don’t come with chaos.

Because right now, the best women are going single while the worst men stay in rotation. That’s how a society collapses.

*Bottom line:* The dating market don change, yes. Less clarity, less commitment, more options. But options without character = poverty.

These women aren’t “unlucky”. They’re in a rigged game. Solution isn’t “try harder”. Solution is “change the game or change the players”.

You have said it all...well done.

Not everyone is lucky to meet their soulmate.

Ifexibe:
You're blue pilled and naive. I asked you, do you know what is hypergamy? Do you?

Hahaha bro dey calm down abeg

CerebrumOptimus:
How can they see husband when men are getting opueh from pretty ladies on tinder, codedruns for just $100 USD for the weekend. It is quite disturbing.. short-term every where you go...

just shows you how many usel..ess men are encouraging these OS runsgirls in the back then coming front to form critic
$100 USD for the OS runsgirl
we haven't calculated drinks and lodgings .
most men having bigger pre.eek than brain

2RightHands1Coc:
100$ for the weekend . Rich people dey nairaland o

PerfectStranger:
For this hard economy that instead of helping more men with job roles, na women dey collect am.

If we start employing more men in different job sectors, over 70% of spinsters will get engaged.
Majority of today's 30+ men will not be getting married any time soon or at all, highest na to find one girl give belle, case close

I swear

We4all:
OP, go and get yourself busy and worry less about single ladies. Why taking panadol for another person's headache?

keep your mouth shut.