The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom - Culture

The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom - Culture - Nairaland

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The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by VYourstories(op): 10:35pm On May 06

Once your bride price is not paid today, your prospective in-law, that is, your daughter’s fiancé, may have to pay your bride price along with your daughter’s.

This situation can become a nightmare, especially if the young man’s income is only average.

This kind of tradition occurs in several tribes in Akwa Ibom State, in the South-South region of Nigeria.

Recently, a young lady discovered that her mother’s bride price had never been paid by her father, even though they had lived together as husband and wife for decades.

To rectify the situation and avoid cultural embarrassment, she paid her mother’s bride price so that her own fiancé would not be burdened with the responsibility of paying both bride prices.

This reportedly happened in one of the local government areas in Akwa Ibom State.

However, when a double bride price situation arises, it can become deeply awkward and emotionally complicated.

This may place financial and psychological pressure on the man involved, especially if he has an average income.

In some cases, this pressure can lead to resentment or strained relationships within the family.

In another instance, the man may neglect the marriage ritual out of frustration, causing the woman to return to singlehood.

Even when the man is kind-hearted and willing to proceed without complaint, there is still a possibility that, at some point in the future, he may bring up the sacrifices he made and the financial burden he carried during the marriage process.

Such reminders can create tension in the relationship and affect family harmony.

Beyond the financial aspect, these complications can also have a ripple effect on the emotional and psychological well-being of the couple and may indirectly affect the children as well.

Therefore, it becomes important for African men and women to ensure that cultural obligations regarding marital arrangements are properly fulfilled so as to avoid situations of double bride price and prevent future resentment.

Ultimately, the bride price that is not paid today often becomes a source of complication in the future

https://www.voiceyourstories.com/nigeria-the-reality-of-double-bride-price/

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by Kyn4life: 6:05am On May 07

It's the bitter truth because am from there

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by karzyharsky(m): 6:05am On May 07

Double honor or double bride price.......akwa ibom.....

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by HeadNigga: 6:06am On May 07

Hmmm
This sounds off. I should pay for my mother in law's bride price because her father didn't marry her? No na

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by MilesMaxwell: 6:06am On May 07

Na wa oooo...... Some traditions needs to be studied

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Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by BodyCount: 6:09am On May 07

The culture and tradition of bride price is for virgins...
All these useless and senseless culture taking advantage of it to rip men off is unfair...
I don't blame the shameless parents demanding huge bride price ON CHILDREN THEY DIDN'T EVEN RAISE OR TRAIN WELL,
I blame the mumu men paying it.
How many of these girls you pay huge bride price on do you marry as virgins?

Imagine paying huge on second-hand product .
You pay huge bride price on a girl that one guy use Indomie and fanta to deflower.
Or a girl that gave it out freely as birthday or Valentine gift.
GOD FORBID EVIL SPIRIT.

If I be una, we will do the math.
HER BRIDE PRICE WILL BE DIVIDED BY HER BODYCOUNT.
If bride price is 1,000,000 and BODYCOUNT is 20,
What her parents will collect is
1000000/20 = 50k.

12 Likes 3 Shares

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by usecondom(m): 6:12am On May 07

Rip off! How's her dad unable to do his duty my business? Am I marrying both mother and daughter? Thank God I didn't have to go through this. My wife is also from Akwa Ibom.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by Luminee(f): 6:13am On May 07

This is a culture shock to me and it is inappropriate to burden the intended couple with responsibilities that he knows nothing about.

If he pays the bride price of his in-law, does that mean he has claims over his mother-in-law too, is he marrying both daughter and mother?

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by DMCY: 6:20am On May 07

When the father didn’t pay the bride price so na me go come pay am? Maka why? It’s either they allow me pay for only the daughter or make I vamos!

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Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by UkoAnnang(m): 6:21am On May 07*

Op kindly single out these tribes in Akwa.
Don't say Akwa Ibom in general.

We have many tribes in Akwa Ibom and this nonsense here is not applicable to my Annang tribe.

In Annang tribe cohabitation is prohibited. if a man must live together with a woman, then he must pay her bride price.

Note, in our tradition, bride price is not expensive, in some family bride price is not more than ₦100, while some is as low as ₦10, ₦20 and ₦50 with a bottle of dry gin.

For the father
1. Tobacco
2. Walking stick
3. One traditional wear with strikes of lions or tiger heads (what we call uko ekpe). This wear signify the strength of a traditional Annang man.
4 a traditional Annang cap

For the the mother.
1. One length of wrapper
2. A bag of salt
3. A smaller basin of crayfish
4 one umbrella.
5. 1 stick of dry fish

For the general house
1. 2 cartons of beer
2. 2 create of soft drinks
3. 1 create of malt
4. Football
5. 5. Packet of Cigarette.
6. 1 red and white chalk (usei)
7 1 bottle of dry gin
8. small fishes
9. 1 female goat (this is only applicable if the bride is the first daughter of the family)

The palm wine for the events is to be provided by the father in-law. After drinking the palm wine, the son in-law can put anything or even return the cup empty to the father in-law.
We are not like our eastern neighbours who demand for dollars before the cup could be returned back

With what its listed a man can marry a woman, if the man is incapable to afford these items, his kins men can do so in his behalf.

Therefore the the issue of cohabitation is impossible in my tribe. So the prospective son in-law cannot pay bride price of mother in-law.

Also note that, in our traditional Annang land, if a man refuses to pay his woman bride price, the family of the woman will not accept anything from him, be it food, drink, money, kola, water. The mother of the woman is prohibited from visited her daughter while in such marriage.
These make it more difficult for a man and woman to cohabit in my tradition

OP next time make ur research well and single out the tribe involved in some abominable tradition before thunda faya u

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by numericalguy(m): 6:22am On May 07

The best thing is for the young man to just abandon everything for his own peace of mind.

It doesn't speak well of any family to tell a young man to pay the bride price of his mother-in-law to be because it would show that the family are poverty stricken and irresponsible.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by Lastpharoah33: 6:30am On May 07

UkoAnnang:

Op kindly single out these tribes in Akwa.
Don't say Akwa Ibom in general.

We have many tribes in Akwa Ibom and this nonsense here is not applicable to my Annang tribe

More like a rage bait...

Poor journalism. Little or no research to back up his conspiracy theories.

4 Likes

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by nurey(m): 6:34am On May 07

All these culture headache nah for poor or below average family nah grin

you think say if raba dey any inlaw go remember say dem no pay person mama bride price?

Hustle oooo make you no come dey wear your wife pant grin

go farm

1 Like

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by gabicon: 6:37am On May 07

BodyCount:
The culture and tradition of bride price is for virgins...
All these useless and senseless culture taking advantage of it to rip men off is unfair...
I don't blame the shameless parents demanding huge bride price ON CHILDREN THEY DIDN'T EVEN RAISE OR TRAIN WELL,
I blame the mumu men paying it.
How many of these girls you pay huge bride price on do you marry as virgins?

Imagine paying huge on second-hand product .
You pay huge bride price on a girl that one guy use Indomie and fanta to deflower.
Or a girl that gave it out freely as birthday or Valentine gift.
GOD FORBID EVIL SPIRIT.

If I be una, we will do the math.
HER BRIDE PRICE WILL BE DIVIDED BY HER BODYCOUNT.
If bride price is 1,000,000 and BODYCOUNT is 20,
What her parents will collect is
1000000/20 = 50k.

Historically bride price had nothing to do with virginity. In those days every member of a family was considered part of the workforce of the family. Basically, every member of a family was an employee or staff of the family. As a result, if the someone took a member of the family by marriage it was only fair that adequate compensation be made for taking away a staff and adding them to another workforce.

1 Like

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by themanderon: 6:43am On May 07

That is how one of my cousins fled from marrying an Akwa ibom lady then. Their bride price is too high now consider paying for two people.
If it was that easy why didn't the dad pay it years ago when things were much cheaper? He now wants to shift it to someone else.
They shouldn't worry. Soon they will be begging men to come marry their daughters or they should be ready to have old unmarried ladies as a consequence of their foolishness.

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Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by kaywhy09(m): 6:45am On May 07

Make them all getaout jor

2 Likes

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by CharleyBright(m): 6:45am On May 07

I have Never heard of this before.
Op for the benefit of doubt, my first question to you is : Are you from Akwa Ibom state for you to say these exist from a well informed perspective Or you just write from hear say?

Secondly, I expected you to be specific and mention the tribes or local govt areas where these exist, but you failed to do that but rather tow the line of anonymous hear say.
When you make posts like this that are fact and evidence based, kindly present same so your readers won't run off with falsehood or half -truths.

Pls kindly tell your readers you are not from Akwa Ibom, and do justice by mentioning the LGA these warp traditions exists so that those from those localities can either corroborate or debunk you.
You can't be telling stories of a locality you have never set your foot on.
Thank you.

3 Likes

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by Winnerfx: 6:46am On May 07

You sound so bitter towards women. Why? You don't even sound like a man who would support a lady to uphold her virtue... Rest let real men who know how to protect women talk

BodyCount:
The culture and tradition of bride price is for virgins...
All these useless and senseless culture taking advantage of it to rip men off is unfair...
I don't blame the shameless parents demanding huge bride price ON CHILDREN THEY DIDN'T EVEN RAISE OR TRAIN WELL,
I blame the mumu men paying it.
How many of these girls you pay huge bride price on do you marry as virgins?

Imagine paying huge on second-hand product .
You pay huge bride price on a girl that one guy use Indomie and fanta to deflower.
Or a girl that gave it out freely as birthday or Valentine gift.
GOD FORBID EVIL SPIRIT.

If I be una, we will do the math.
HER BRIDE PRICE WILL BE DIVIDED BY HER BODYCOUNT.
If bride price is 1,000,000 and BODYCOUNT is 20,
What her parents will collect is
1000000/20 = 50k.

1 Like

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by Nebes: 6:46am On May 07*

If I pay both bride prices, I'll take the 2 women home with full conjugal rights.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by jojothaiv(m): 6:48am On May 07

The OP is a typical example of a Nigerian politician, says a lot and end up saying nothing, alaye, what the names of the local government abi it should be left for readers to dig out.

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by system21: 6:50am On May 07

If him papa no pay why is he expecting me to pay for her daughter? I will marry her daughter the same way he married her mother

1 Like

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by BodyCount: 6:50am On May 07

Winnerfx:
You sound so bitter towards women. Why? You don't even sound like a man who would support a lady to uphold her virtue... Rest let real men who know how to protect women talk

You sound pained, guilty and frustrated.
How did you lose your own?
With indomie and fanta?

2 Likes

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by femi4: 6:56am On May 07

Stealing us real...ole ifon

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by samwash(m): 6:57am On May 07

This cultural practice is off, what I know is that if the father in-law has not paid the bride price of his wife, he has to do so in order of his daughter's bride price to be paid, it's his responsibility to pay his bride price not the responsibility of his perspective son in-law.

If this kind of cultural practice is still practice in that state, it means most of all those beautiful ladies in Akwa ibom will just been living in their husbands house without bride price been paid. While wouldn't them be promiscuous since their bride price has not been paid and their husbands don't have full rights over them.

From the story, how can a Daughter pay her mother's bride price, it's not heard of, does it mean we have irresponsible men in that place or it's just because of poverty.

Am yet to believe this cultural practice sha, I will do research on it , if you are from that state, pls throw more light on this issue.

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by Okoroemekah: 6:58am On May 07

Lastpharoah33:
More like a rage bait...

Poor journalism. Little or no research to back up his conspiracy theories.

it is true.it also happens in the southeast but the intending suitor is not tasked with paying the bride price of his inlaws.that responsibility lies solely with the father inlaw he intends to marry his daughter. He might support them but it is not his obligation.

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by SmartPolician: 6:59am On May 07

BodyCount:
The culture and tradition of bride price is for virgins...
All these useless and senseless culture taking advantage of it to rip men off is unfair...
I don't blame the shameless parents demanding huge bride price ON CHILDREN THEY DIDN'T EVEN RAISE OR TRAIN WELL,
I blame the mumu men paying it.
How many of these girls you pay huge bride price on do you marry as virgins?

Imagine paying huge on second-hand product .
You pay huge bride price on a girl that one guy use Indomie and fanta to deflower.
Or a girl that gave it out freely as birthday or Valentine gift.
GOD FORBID EVIL SPIRIT.

If I be una, we will do the math.
HER BRIDE PRICE WILL BE DIVIDED BY HER BODYCOUNT.
If bride price is 1,000,000 and BODYCOUNT is 20,
What her parents will collect is
1000000/20 = 50k.

Be prepared to keep spilling this nonsense for the rest of your life. The society just enjoys shaming women for having sex as if they had sex with themselves. It didn't even start today - there are several accounts in the Bible.

If men weren't sleeping around like people who weren't raised by parents, most women would still be virgins today. Prostitution is a lucrative business today because men of low-esteem pay a lot of money just to cum, and women are gladly taking advantage of it. Fathers are failing in raising good boys because good fathers rarely exist; women cannot raise boys.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by Bahamas95(m): 7:00am On May 07

Even God knows I won't try that nonsense no matter how I love the girl, the love would disappear immediately I hear that bullshyt.

What's my business if her father is yet to pay her mum's bride price?
Some senseless traditions needs to be scrapped in Nigeria.

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by Samsam141619: 7:00am On May 07

UkoAnnang:

Op kindly single out these tribes in Akwa.
Don't say Akwa Ibom in general.

We have many tribes in Akwa Ibom and this nonsense here is not applicable to my Annang tribe

I love this your comment, sensitive info that goes along with stigma suppose trim line to applicable tribe

3 Likes

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by Lastpharoah33: 7:05am On May 07

Okoroemekah:
it is true.it also happens in the southeast but the intending suitor is not tasked with paying the bride price of his inlaws.that responsibility lies solely with the father inlaw he intends to marry his daughter. He might support them but it is not his obligation.

Thanks for shading more light on the issue, but next time he/she should single out the communities in A/ibom that still practice such for information purposes.

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by kenn4rill(m): 7:15am On May 07

This is really funny aswear 😁...so what this means now that the girl's father that has been with his wife for years with now duty me to pay the bride price for him and he will still be the one to collect both his daughter's bride price and that of his wife 😁😁.
Me too I go marry the girl for credit so that my future son-in-law will pay for both my own and my in-laws own and his own so that I will eat 3 portions of the bride price.
Afterall my father-in-law would have died by then.. grin

1 Like

Re: The Reality Of Double Bride Price In Akwa Ibom by BodyCount: 7:27am On May 07

SmartPolician:
Be prepared to keep spilling this nonsense for the rest of your life. The society just enjoys shaming women for having sex as if they had sex with themselves. It didn't even start today - there are several accounts in the Bible.

If men weren't sleeping around like people who weren't raised by parents, most women would still be virgins today. Prostitution is a lucrative business today because men of low-esteem pay a lot of money just to cum, and women are gladly taking advantage of it. Fathers are failing in raising good boys because good fathers rarely exist; women cannot raise boys.

"Ah yes, the classic ‘men are animals, women are innocent bystanders’ arguement. Very convenient!

According to this logic, women apparently have no agency, no standards, no choices, no accountability. Just helpless passengers floating through life while men magically control every sexual decision on earth. Interesting feminism.

You say prostitution exists because men pay for sex. True. It also exists because people willingly sell it.
PEOPLE RUSH FREE, CHEAP AND AFFORDABLE COMMODITIES...
Funny how responsibility suddenly becomes a one-way street whenever accountability gets uncomfortable.
Do you see men rushing and sleeping with MODEST, well-trained and high moral standard girls or women?

And the ‘women cannot raise boys’ part is ironic too. So fathers are absent, men are terrible, yet somehow only women deserve sympathy while men are blamed for literally everything from hookup culture to bad parenting to society itself. At some point this stops being analysis and starts sounding like resentment disguised as wisdom.

Reality check: both men and women contribute to the culture we live in. Men sleep around because women AVAILABLE, cheap, loose and agree to sleep around too.
It's also a very easy and simple job lazy and morally bankrupted girls and women can use to make money.
Women shame women. Men shame men. Bad fathers exist. Bad mothers exist. Weak men exist. Reckless women exist. Human beings are flawed across the board.

But pretending women are eternal victims with zero responsibility for their own choices is exactly why these conversations never improve. Accountability cannot be gender selective."

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