₦airaland Forum

The virginity conversation never ends. Here is where I stand and this is my final submission.

To everyone who immediately demands male virginity whenever female virginity is raised, I have one question.

Where in history has male virginity been a requirement for marriage? In which tribe? In which culture? In which religion?

Even the white wedding dress itself is a symbol of purity. Answer that honestly in your mind. Once you have, you will realize you are simply deflecting.

When a man wants to marry, the woman's family asks what he does, they ask about his capacity to provide. But when a man brings a woman home, his own family ignores his pocket and looks at her character and most importantly, her purity. Each gender carries what belongs to them.

Men are judged by what they can build and provide, this is why they are broke-shamed for underperforming. A man without resources is a man who has failed his primary social function

Women are judged by their sexual discipline, this is why they are slut-shamed for promiscuity. A woman without restraint has compromised the very trait that ensures stability and trust.

Women have a hymen for the same reason men do not. Men and women cannot be measured under the same moral compass, which is why the consequences are not the same.

Virgins are not perfect. They are not angels but they are still the better choice ahead of non-virgins not because of character alone, but because of what they bring to a marriage without being asked.

So to those who argue that virgins do not guarantee good character. If sexual discipline is not good character, then what is sleeping around? A woman who can keep her body in a world where women sell themselves to the highest bidder is not ordinary. She is rare. That discipline alone is the pinnacle of character.

A virgin offers a blank slate, no sexual ghosts, no comparisons to exes, and no emotional residue from past entanglements. Beyond purity, she offers proof of a rare trait in the modern market: the discipline to say no. This level of restraint is only possible because she has successfully navigated a world of manipulation, surpassing the lure of gifts, money and luxuries that compromise others.

As a man, instead of chastising virgins to feel better about your own choices, ask yourself why you aren't seeking a woman with sexual discipline instead of arguing that she doesn't exist.

And as a woman, tell yourself the truth, why are you so worried about virgins? Why do you keep badmouthing them to make yourself feel better? Is it because they still possess the one thing you once had and no longer do?

A woman who could keep her legs closed until marriage undoubtedly has a high level of self-discipline and this often transcends into the marriage.

Truly, change is constant and any woman can go wayward but the majority of women who cheat in relationships are those with prior sexual experience. Most often, they return to an ex or find a new lover nearby. It is a byproduct of indiscipline and recklessness. Old habits rarely die, they simply wait for an opportunity

For one, you can confidently discuss 'no sex before marriage' with a virgin, but you will be living in a fool’s paradise to try that with a woman who is not a virgin. Aside from the words coming out of her mouth, you can never tell if she’s not sleeping with someone else apart from you.

A woman who is sexually active before marriage has a higher tendency to maintain connection with previous sexual partners. That is how paternity fraud happens and when paternity fraud happens, it is men who suffer. No woman has ever unknowingly raised a child she did not give birth to. It is men who get deceived. A man raising another man's child, believing it is his, that is the consequence of ignoring this reality.

No man, regardless of what he argues publicly, will open his eyes and willingly marry a known prostitute. No parent here, mother or father, would celebrate their son bringing home a woman the entire street has passed through. Everyone knows this. The argument only exists online.

The only man who argues loudest against female virginity is a man who regrets his own choice. The only woman who argues loudest against it is a woman who regrets how she spent her prime. Watch the comment section and you will see exactly this play out. Virgins will never argue against this post. Men who married virgins will nod quietly because they already know. The ones performing outrage are the ones this post is about. The truth is always bitter. That has never stopped it from being the truth.

Any man who believes there are no virgins left should examine the life he is living and the places he is searching. Are you finding them at clubs? Hookup spots? Lounges? Men are marrying virgins with good character every single day. Virgins do not announce themselves. They do not perform for attention. Because the loudest women are the most reckless does not mean they are the majority. It only means they are the loudest. Any man who has given up on finding a decent woman should keep that conclusion to himself.

Every woman wants a capable man. She is not looking for a virgin. She wants a man who has worked, built and conquered. So what does she offer him in return? Something she has already given freely to men who offered her nothing. As a man, ask yourself if that is a fair exchange.

Women are ruthless and intentional when they choose a man. A woman with the lowest standards will still desire a man at the top of his game. She will not settle for less than what she believes she deserves in provision. Yet men who are expected to provide everything financially will not even ask a woman what she brings to the table in purity. You are held to a high standard of success, but you refuse to hold her to a high standard of history. You ask for her hand but not her past and then you wonder why your home has no peace.

You will never hear a woman say there are no rich men left. Even a woman who wasted her prime still believes she deserves a wealthy man. She never lowers her standard. She never announces that good men do not exist. She keeps searching. Men should take note.

Think about this carefully. Her womb will carry your seed. Your legacy will grow inside her. A man who is intentional about his future must be intentional about where he plants it. Would you rather eat from a clean table or a dirty one? A brand new vessel or one weathered by years of careless use? If you can sit with that question honestly, you already know the answer.

Most men pursue non-virgin women because access is easier. No waiting. No standards to meet. No patience required but lust is not a foundation. When the consequences of a poor choice begin to surface in your marriage, which they will, and when they do, physical attraction will not save you. The body that drew you in will still be there but so will everything you refused to vet. The same men who mock posts like this are the ones sending anonymous messages to influencers online, broken and betrayed. They chose based on vibes, but they are now living on consequences.

The problem is never the women. The problem is men who are ready to settle for crumbs while women raise their standards daily. This is why most women no longer care about sexual discipline. They already know that somewhere a man is ready to save them regardless of her history. A man who believes a virgin is a long shot will always end up with whatever is left. Men settle for crumbs while women raise their standards and then wonder why the world is where it is today.

This post does not condemn any woman. Not every man will marry a virgin and not every non-virgin woman is unworthy of marriage. Some women are victims of bad relationships or marriages that broke them before they found the right man. There are women who are not virgins but are not wayward. The only intimacy they knew was in a relationship that did not survive. The problem is there is no way for a man to tell the difference from the outside. This is why virginity remains the clearest standard a man has.

If as a man you choose to settle for a non-virgin, that is your right. But do not be careless about it. Your duty is to vet thoroughly. Do not put your future and the future of your children on vibes and lust. Be intentional. Be selective. Choose a woman who serves your present and your future, not just your appetite. The baggage a woman carries into a marriage does not disappear at the altar. It unpacks itself slowly, and you will be the one living with the contents.

So to women who are virgins, keep it. What you carry has value that the world is working hard to convince you to give away for free. To women who are not, stop adding to the count. More men are waking up although some will remain ignorant and learn the hard way. That is their portion.

One thing is certain. A woman will not forgive a man for being unproductive. The day he loses his income, he loses her loyalty. Even a woman with no standards wants a top-tier man. Yet we have men willing to wife women with no standards. Every man bears his own cross but this post will be one that many men will be grateful they read.


- Marcus Verum

Should I really tell him?? 😁

Lalami3232:
Should I really tell him?? 😁

He just told the loudest truth. So what do you really want to tell him.

I implore all men to chase virtuous women especially the virgins and marry them. Don't say there are no virgins, it is what you want that nature will bring to you, God bless you.

Seek and ye shall find..

To the one who said "should we tell him" - you already answered yourself by saying nothing.

Silence is confirmation.

To the brother who spoke truth in the comments -
I appreciate you. That is the voice of a man
who understands what is at stake.

To every man reading this thread -
the mockery in this comment section
is exactly what I warned you about.

Watch who laughs at the idea of standards.
Watch who gets uncomfortable when virginity is mentioned. Watch who rushes to discredit without a single logical argument.

Their reaction is the point.

A man who is at peace with his choices does not need to mock yours.

Only a man carrying regret needs this conversation to fail.

Chase virtuous women. Marry well.
Let the noise stay in the comment section
where it belongs.

- MV

marcusverum:
The virginity conversation never ends. Here is where I stand and this is my final submission.

To everyone who immediately demands male virginity whenever female virginity is raised, I have one question.

Where in history has male virginity been a requirement for marriage? In which tribe? In which culture? In which religion?

Even the white wedding dress itself is a symbol of purity. Answer that honestly in your mind. Once you have, you will realize you are simply deflecting.

When a man wants to marry, the woman's family asks what he does, they ask about his capacity to provide. But when a man brings a woman home, his own family ignores his pocket and looks at her character and most importantly, her purity. Each gender carries what belongs to them.

Men are judged by what they can build and provide, this is why they are broke-shamed for underperforming. A man without resources is a man who has failed his primary social function

Women are judged by their sexual discipline, this is why they are slut-shamed for promiscuity. A woman without restraint has compromised the very trait that ensures stability and trust.

Women have a hymen for the same reason men do not. Men and women cannot be measured under the same moral compass, which is why the consequences are not the same.

Virgins are not perfect. They are not angels but they are still the better choice ahead of non-virgins not because of character alone, but because of what they bring to a marriage without being asked.

So to those who argue that virgins do not guarantee good character. If sexual discipline is not good character, then what is sleeping around? A woman who can keep her body in a world where women sell themselves to the highest bidder is not ordinary. She is rare. That discipline alone is the pinnacle of character.

A virgin offers a blank slate, no sexual ghosts, no comparisons to exes, and no emotional residue from past entanglements. Beyond purity, she offers proof of a rare trait in the modern market: the discipline to say no. This level of restraint is only possible because she has successfully navigated a world of manipulation, surpassing the lure of gifts, money and luxuries that compromise others.

As a man, instead of chastising virgins to feel better about your own choices, ask yourself why you aren't seeking a woman with sexual discipline instead of arguing that she doesn't exist.

And as a woman, tell yourself the truth, why are you so worried about virgins? Why do you keep badmouthing them to make yourself feel better? Is it because they still possess the one thing you once had and no longer do?

A woman who could keep her legs closed until marriage undoubtedly has a high level of self-discipline and this often transcends into the marriage.

Truly, change is constant and any woman can go wayward but the majority of women who cheat in relationships are those with prior sexual experience. Most often, they return to an ex or find a new lover nearby. It is a byproduct of indiscipline and recklessness. Old habits rarely die, they simply wait for an opportunity

For one, you can confidently discuss 'no sex before marriage' with a virgin, but you will be living in a fool’s paradise to try that with a woman who is not a virgin. Aside from the words coming out of her mouth, you can never tell if she’s not sleeping with someone else apart from you.

A woman who is sexually active before marriage has a higher tendency to maintain connection with previous sexual partners. That is how paternity fraud happens and when paternity fraud happens, it is men who suffer. No woman has ever unknowingly raised a child she did not give birth to. It is men who get deceived. A man raising another man's child, believing it is his, that is the consequence of ignoring this reality.

No man, regardless of what he argues publicly, will open his eyes and willingly marry a known prostitute. No parent here, mother or father, would celebrate their son bringing home a woman the entire street has passed through. Everyone knows this. The argument only exists online.

The only man who argues loudest against female virginity is a man who regrets his own choice. The only woman who argues loudest against it is a woman who regrets how she spent her prime. Watch the comment section and you will see exactly this play out. Virgins will never argue against this post. Men who married virgins will nod quietly because they already know. The ones performing outrage are the ones this post is about. The truth is always bitter. That has never stopped it from being the truth.

Any man who believes there are no virgins left should examine the life he is living and the places he is searching. Are you finding them at clubs? Hookup spots? Lounges? Men are marrying virgins with good character every single day. Virgins do not announce themselves. They do not perform for attention. Because the loudest women are the most reckless does not mean they are the majority. It only means they are the loudest. Any man who has given up on finding a decent woman should keep that conclusion to himself.

Every woman wants a capable man. She is not looking for a virgin. She wants a man who has worked, built and conquered. So what does she offer him in return? Something she has already given freely to men who offered her nothing. As a man, ask yourself if that is a fair exchange.

Women are ruthless and intentional when they choose a man. A woman with the lowest standards will still desire a man at the top of his game. She will not settle for less than what she believes she deserves in provision. Yet men who are expected to provide everything financially will not even ask a woman what she brings to the table in purity. You are held to a high standard of success, but you refuse to hold her to a high standard of history. You ask for her hand but not her past and then you wonder why your home has no peace.

You will never hear a woman say there are no rich men left. Even a woman who wasted her prime still believes she deserves a wealthy man. She never lowers her standard. She never announces that good men do not exist. She keeps searching. Men should take note.

Think about this carefully. Her womb will carry your seed. Your legacy will grow inside her. A man who is intentional about his future must be intentional about where he plants it. Would you rather eat from a clean table or a dirty one? A brand new vessel or one weathered by years of careless use? If you can sit with that question honestly, you already know the answer.

Most men pursue non-virgin women because access is easier. No waiting. No standards to meet. No patience required but lust is not a foundation. When the consequences of a poor choice begin to surface in your marriage, which they will, and when they do, physical attraction will not save you. The body that drew you in will still be there but so will everything you refused to vet. The same men who mock posts like this are the ones sending anonymous messages to influencers online, broken and betrayed. They chose based on vibes, but they are now living on consequences.

The problem is never the women. The problem is men who are ready to settle for crumbs while women raise their standards daily. This is why most women no longer care about sexual discipline. They already know that somewhere a man is ready to save them regardless of her history. A man who believes a virgin is a long shot will always end up with whatever is left. Men settle for crumbs while women raise their standards and then wonder why the world is where it is today.

This post does not condemn any woman. Not every man will marry a virgin and not every non-virgin woman is unworthy of marriage. Some women are victims of bad relationships or marriages that broke them before they found the right man. There are women who are not virgins but are not wayward. The only intimacy they knew was in a relationship that did not survive. The problem is there is no way for a man to tell the difference from the outside. This is why virginity remains the clearest standard a man has.

If as a man you choose to settle for a non-virgin, that is your right. But do not be careless about it. Your duty is to vet thoroughly. Do not put your future and the future of your children on vibes and lust. Be intentional. Be selective. Choose a woman who serves your present and your future, not just your appetite. The baggage a woman carries into a marriage does not disappear at the altar. It unpacks itself slowly, and you will be the one living with the contents.

So to women who are virgins, keep it. What you carry has value that the world is working hard to convince you to give away for free. To women who are not, stop adding to the count. More men are waking up although some will remain ignorant and learn the hard way. That is their portion.

One thing is certain. A woman will not forgive a man for being unproductive. The day he loses his income, he loses her loyalty. Even a woman with no standards wants a top-tier man. Yet we have men willing to wife women with no standards. Every man bears his own cross but this post will be one that many men will be grateful they read.


- Marcus Verum

This message was brought to you by chatgtp.

‎To each his own. Some women choose to give their virginity to a man they sincerely believe loves them even after turning down other guys. Likewise, other women remain virgins not because they have better character or more disciplined, but because they view virginity as sacred/spiritual. Their discipline is rooted in that belief, not because they are morally better than others. Just as being religious does not automatically make someone a good person, virginity alone is not a complete measure of morality or character.

Nobody said virginity makes a woman a perfect human being.

The argument is simple. A virgin comes with less baggage than a non virgin. That is not an opinion. That is logic.

You just described two types of virgins and used them to argue against virginity. You actually proved the point.

Whether she kept it for love or for God the result is the same. She kept it.

That is the standard. Not perfection. Just a woman who did not give herself freely to the street.

The bar is not heaven. The bar is simply not poor standards.

- MV

TheFreshVanilla:
‎To each his own. Some women choose to give their virginity to a man they sincerely believe loves them even after turning down other guys. Likewise, other women remain virgins not because they have better character or more disciplined, but because they view virginity as sacred/spiritual. Their discipline is rooted in that belief, not because they are morally better than others. Just as being religious does not automatically make someone a good person, virginity alone is not a complete measure of morality or character.

marcusverum:
The virginity conversation never ends. Here is where I stand and this is my final submission.

To everyone who immediately demands male virginity whenever female virginity is raised, I have one question.

Where in history has male virginity been a requirement for marriage? In which tribe? In which culture? In which religion?

Even the white wedding dress itself is a symbol of purity. Answer that honestly in your mind. Once you have, you will realize you are simply deflecting.

When a man wants to marry, the woman's family asks what he does, they ask about his capacity to provide. But when a man brings a woman home, his own family ignores his pocket and looks at her character and most importantly, her purity. Each gender carries what belongs to them.

Men are judged by what they can build and provide, this is why they are broke-shamed for underperforming. A man without resources is a man who has failed his primary social function

Women are judged by their sexual discipline, this is why they are slut-shamed for promiscuity. A woman without restraint has compromised the very trait that ensures stability and trust.

Women have a hymen for the same reason men do not. Men and women cannot be measured under the same moral compass, which is why the consequences are not the same.

Virgins are not perfect. They are not angels but they are still the better choice ahead of non-virgins not because of character alone, but because of what they bring to a marriage without being asked.

So to those who argue that virgins do not guarantee good character. If sexual discipline is not good character, then what is sleeping around? A woman who can keep her body in a world where women sell themselves to the highest bidder is not ordinary. She is rare. That discipline alone is the pinnacle of character.

A virgin offers a blank slate, no sexual ghosts, no comparisons to exes, and no emotional residue from past entanglements. Beyond purity, she offers proof of a rare trait in the modern market: the discipline to say no. This level of restraint is only possible because she has successfully navigated a world of manipulation, surpassing the lure of gifts, money and luxuries that compromise others.

As a man, instead of chastising virgins to feel better about your own choices, ask yourself why you aren't seeking a woman with sexual discipline instead of arguing that she doesn't exist.

And as a woman, tell yourself the truth, why are you so worried about virgins? Why do you keep badmouthing them to make yourself feel better? Is it because they still possess the one thing you once had and no longer do?

A woman who could keep her legs closed until marriage undoubtedly has a high level of self-discipline and this often transcends into the marriage.

Truly, change is constant and any woman can go wayward but the majority of women who cheat in relationships are those with prior sexual experience. Most often, they return to an ex or find a new lover nearby. It is a byproduct of indiscipline and recklessness. Old habits rarely die, they simply wait for an opportunity

For one, you can confidently discuss 'no sex before marriage' with a virgin, but you will be living in a fool’s paradise to try that with a woman who is not a virgin. Aside from the words coming out of her mouth, you can never tell if she’s not sleeping with someone else apart from you.

A woman who is sexually active before marriage has a higher tendency to maintain connection with previous sexual partners. That is how paternity fraud happens and when paternity fraud happens, it is men who suffer. No woman has ever unknowingly raised a child she did not give birth to. It is men who get deceived. A man raising another man's child, believing it is his, that is the consequence of ignoring this reality.

No man, regardless of what he argues publicly, will open his eyes and willingly marry a known prostitute. No parent here, mother or father, would celebrate their son bringing home a woman the entire street has passed through. Everyone knows this. The argument only exists online.

The only man who argues loudest against female virginity is a man who regrets his own choice. The only woman who argues loudest against it is a woman who regrets how she spent her prime. Watch the comment section and you will see exactly this play out. Virgins will never argue against this post. Men who married virgins will nod quietly because they already know. The ones performing outrage are the ones this post is about. The truth is always bitter. That has never stopped it from being the truth.

Any man who believes there are no virgins left should examine the life he is living and the places he is searching. Are you finding them at clubs? Hookup spots? Lounges? Men are marrying virgins with good character every single day. Virgins do not announce themselves. They do not perform for attention. Because the loudest women are the most reckless does not mean they are the majority. It only means they are the loudest. Any man who has given up on finding a decent woman should keep that conclusion to himself.

Every woman wants a capable man. She is not looking for a virgin. She wants a man who has worked, built and conquered. So what does she offer him in return? Something she has already given freely to men who offered her nothing. As a man, ask yourself if that is a fair exchange.

Women are ruthless and intentional when they choose a man. A woman with the lowest standards will still desire a man at the top of his game. She will not settle for less than what she believes she deserves in provision. Yet men who are expected to provide everything financially will not even ask a woman what she brings to the table in purity. You are held to a high standard of success, but you refuse to hold her to a high standard of history. You ask for her hand but not her past and then you wonder why your home has no peace.

You will never hear a woman say there are no rich men left. Even a woman who wasted her prime still believes she deserves a wealthy man. She never lowers her standard. She never announces that good men do not exist. She keeps searching. Men should take note.

Think about this carefully. Her womb will carry your seed. Your legacy will grow inside her. A man who is intentional about his future must be intentional about where he plants it. Would you rather eat from a clean table or a dirty one? A brand new vessel or one weathered by years of careless use? If you can sit with that question honestly, you already know the answer.

Most men pursue non-virgin women because access is easier. No waiting. No standards to meet. No patience required but lust is not a foundation. When the consequences of a poor choice begin to surface in your marriage, which they will, and when they do, physical attraction will not save you. The body that drew you in will still be there but so will everything you refused to vet. The same men who mock posts like this are the ones sending anonymous messages to influencers online, broken and betrayed. They chose based on vibes, but they are now living on consequences.

The problem is never the women. The problem is men who are ready to settle for crumbs while women raise their standards daily. This is why most women no longer care about sexual discipline. They already know that somewhere a man is ready to save them regardless of her history. A man who believes a virgin is a long shot will always end up with whatever is left. Men settle for crumbs while women raise their standards and then wonder why the world is where it is today.

This post does not condemn any woman. Not every man will marry a virgin and not every non-virgin woman is unworthy of marriage. Some women are victims of bad relationships or marriages that broke them before they found the right man. There are women who are not virgins but are not wayward. The only intimacy they knew was in a relationship that did not survive. The problem is there is no way for a man to tell the difference from the outside. This is why virginity remains the clearest standard a man has.

If as a man you choose to settle for a non-virgin, that is your right. But do not be careless about it. Your duty is to vet thoroughly. Do not put your future and the future of your children on vibes and lust. Be intentional. Be selective. Choose a woman who serves your present and your future, not just your appetite. The baggage a woman carries into a marriage does not disappear at the altar. It unpacks itself slowly, and you will be the one living with the contents.

So to women who are virgins, keep it. What you carry has value that the world is working hard to convince you to give away for free. To women who are not, stop adding to the count. More men are waking up although some will remain ignorant and learn the hard way. That is their portion.

One thing is certain. A woman will not forgive a man for being unproductive. The day he loses his income, he loses her loyalty. Even a woman with no standards wants a top-tier man. Yet we have men willing to wife women with no standards. Every man bears his own cross but this post will be one that many men will be grateful they read.


- Marcus Verum

You can't reduce the whole world to your personal mindset. My brother's introduction took place today, and his engagement and wedding will happen soon. I have never seen any of my brothers obsess over virginity, nor have I heard any of my male relatives say a woman must be a virgin before they can marry her.

Love is a thing of the heart, not something controlled by society's mentality. A man can genuinely fall in love with a single mother, a divorced woman, or even a woman with ten children, even if twenty virgins are standing in front of him. Many marriages are built on genuine love, companionship, peace, loyalty, understanding, and emotional connection; not virginity.

Love is personal. How many great men specifically married virgins? Prince Harry chose the beautiful, hardworking, and accomplished; though divorced; Meghan Markle to be his wife.

There is a real-life example that recently took place. A divorced woman married a prominent honourable after leaving an abusive marriage. Her former husband was physically and verbally abusive, even toward their daughter. Despite being hardworking and supportive, she endured years of mistreatment. While she was still in that marriage, she met the honourable, who treated her with kindness and respect, and over time she fell in love with him.

The day she finally decided to leave, her friends followed her to help pack her belongings because they feared her husband would try to stop her. They warned him not to cause trouble, and many people in the area already knew about the abuse because the story had spread widely. When she finally left, people around her were genuinely happy because they knew what she had suffered through.

You clearly don't know how love works.

Some virgins may still end up as experiments.

I agree that virginity is a good thing. It can help you avoid certain problems and strengthen your spiritual life. However, when it comes to relationships, it is best to set virginity aside and focus on genuine love. Don't be misled. Don't let virginity deceive; it has absolutely no role to play in relationship. I have seen more non-virgins enjoy than virgins.

Whether you are a virgin or not, just marry the right person. There are many virgins that become victims of wrong marriages.

Last time I checked, people get baggage from trauma and unresolved emotional issues not from physical act of intercourse. Calling non-virgin ladies "the gutter" or saying they "gave themselves freely to the street" does not make any sense. Many of them lose their virginity in committed relationships with people they genuinely loved and intended to build with. Being a non-virgin now does not reduce their worth unless in your own head.

marcusverum:
Nobody said virginity makes a woman a perfect human being.

The argument is simple. A virgin comes with less baggage than a non virgin. That is not an opinion. That is logic.

You just described two types of virgins and used them to argue against virginity. You actually proved the point.

Whether she kept it for love or for God the result is the same. She kept it.

That is the standard. Not perfection. Just a woman who did not give herself freely to the street.

The bar is not heaven. The bar is simply not the gutter.

- MV

Nobody is arguing against love.

The post is about standards and awareness.
Not about banning men from marrying
who they want.

Your brother can marry whoever he chooses. Every man can. That is not the argument.

The argument is simple. A man should know what he is signing for before he signs.

Prince Harry is not the example you want
to use here. Look at how that marriage
turned out and ask yourself if that was
the wisest choice he could have made.

The divorced woman who found a kind man after an abusive marriage is a beautiful story. Nobody condemned her. The post never said non virgins cannot find love or be good wives.

What the post said is this. Given a choice between equal women a virgin comes with less baggage. That is not hate. That is logic.

You ended with you clearly do not know how love works.

I will end with this.
Love without wisdom is how men end up
raising another man's child and calling it destiny.

Vet with your head. Love with your heart.
Do both. Never just one.

- MV

Merry100:
You can't reduce the whole world to your personal mindset. My brother's introduction took place today, and his engagement and wedding will happen soon. I have never seen any of my brothers obsess over virginity, nor have I heard any of my male relatives say a woman must be a virgin before they can marry her.

Love is a thing of the heart, not something controlled by society's mentality. A man can genuinely fall in love with a single mother, a divorced woman, or even a woman with ten children, even if twenty virgins are standing in front of him. Many marriages are built on genuine love, companionship, peace, loyalty, understanding, and emotional connection; not virginity.

Love is personal. How many great men specifically married virgins? Prince Harry chose the beautiful, hardworking, and accomplished; though divorced; Meghan Markle to be his wife.

There is a real-life example that recently took place. A divorced woman married a prominent honourable after leaving an abusive marriage. Her former husband was physically and verbally abusive, even toward their daughter. Despite being hardworking and supportive, she endured years of mistreatment. While she was still in that marriage, she met the honourable, who treated her with kindness and respect, and over time she fell in love with him.

The day she finally decided to leave, her friends followed her to help pack her belongings because they feared her husband would try to stop her. They warned him not to cause trouble, and many people in the area already knew about the abuse because the story had spread widely. When she finally left, people around her were genuinely happy because they knew what she had suffered through.

You clearly don't know how love works.

Read the post again before you comment.

If you read it as an attack on women you missed the entire argument.

Nobody said every non virgin gave herself to the street. The post clearly stated that some women lost their virginity in relationships that did not survive and that there are non virgins who are not wayward.

That is in the post you are responding to. Which means you did not read it.

On baggage.
You said baggage comes from trauma and unresolved emotional issues.
Correct.

Now tell me.
Does a woman with multiple sexual partners
carry zero emotional history from those
encounters?
Does she have no soul ties?
No comparisons she makes in marriage?
No ex she cannot fully let go of?

The physical act has emotional consequences.
That is not an opinion.
That is biology and psychology combined.

A woman's worth is not reduced by her past.
But a man's right to set standards is not reduced by your feelings either.

Nobody is forcing any man to marry a virgin.
The post is awareness. Not a law.

- MV

TheFreshVanilla:
Last time I checked, people get baggage from trauma and unresolved emotional issues not from physical act of intercourse. Calling non-virgin ladies "the gutter" or saying they "gave themselves freely to the street" does not make any sense. Many of them lose their virginity in committed relationships with people they genuinely loved and intended to build with. Being a non-virgin now does not reduce their worth unless in your own head.

You agreed virginity is a good thing then spent the rest of your comment arguing against it.

Pick a side.

You said virginity has no role to play
in relationships.But you just admitted it helps avoid certain problems and strengthens spiritual life.

Those are roles. You defeated your own argument in the same paragraph.

You said you have seen more non virgins enjoy than virgins. Enjoy what exactly.
And what does enjoyment have to do with building a stable home?

You said there are virgins who end up
in wrong marriages.
Correct.
Nobody said virginity is a guarantee of a perfect marriage.

The post said a virgin comes with
less baggage than a non virgin. That is still true regardless of how many wrong marriages you have witnessed.

A new car can still end up in an accident. That does not mean you buy a used car with heavy history on purpose.

Read the post fully before responding. The answers to your objections are already in it.

- MV

Merry100:
Some virgins may still end up as experiments.

I agree that virginity is a good thing. It can help you avoid certain problems and strengthen your spiritual life. However, when it comes to relationships, it is best to set virginity aside and focus on genuine love. Don't be misled. Don't let virginity deceive; it has absolutely no role to play in relationship. I have seen more non-virgins enjoy than virgins.

Whether you are a virgin or not, just marry the right person. There are many virgins that become victims of wrong marriages.

marcusverum:
You agreed virginity is a good thing then spent the rest of your comment arguing against it.

Pick a side.

You said virginity has no role to play
in relationships.But you just admitted it helps avoid certain problems and strengthens spiritual life.

Those are roles. You defeated your own argument in the same paragraph.

You said you have seen more non virgins enjoy than virgins. Enjoy what exactly.
And what does enjoyment have to do with building a stable home?

You said there are virgins who end up
in wrong marriages.
Correct.
Nobody said virginity is a guarantee of a perfect marriage.

The post said a virgin comes with
less baggage than a non virgin. That is still true regardless of how many wrong marriages you have witnessed.

A new car can still end up in an accident. That does not mean you buy a used car with heavy history on purpose.

Read the post fully before responding. The answers to your objections are already in it.

- MV

You seem confused. My point was absolutely consistent: when I said virginity can help avoid certain problems or strengthen spiritual life, I was acknowledging personal or religious benefits, not claiming it determines relationship success. I even clearly stated that it has no role in relationship; that is, it has no role in choosing a partner.

Virginity is not one of the factors in building a stable home. A stable home is built on actual factors like love, compatibility, personality, and shared values

I often laugh when I see women remind their narcissistic husbands that they were virgins before he married them, especially when it is clear that the man does not love them.

Many virgins, rather than patiently selecting a good man, marry with the assumption that the man will be good to them because he married them as a virgin.

Some ladies assume virginity makes a partner "better" or compensates for poor judgment in choosing a spouse. That assumption is what leads to disappointment, not virginity itself.

At the same time, being a virgin or not does not determine whether someone will enjoy or suffer in marriage. A wrong choice of partner does. A person can be a virgin and still end up in a difficult marriage, just as a non-virgin can have a healthy one.

The real issue is not whether virginity is "good" or "bad," but making sure it is not mistaken for something it is not.

marcusverum:
The virginity conversation never ends. Here is where I stand and this is my final submission.

To everyone who immediately demands male virginity whenever female virginity is raised, I have one question.

Where in history has male virginity been a requirement for marriage? In which tribe? In
- Marcus Verum

Paulscholari:
He just told the loudest truth. So what do you really want to tell him.

I implore all men to chase virtuous women especially the virgins and marry them. Don't say there are no virgins, it is what you want that nature will bring to you, God bless you.

Seek and ye shall find..

What should REALLY convince you folks you are DELUDED is that ANY woman can tell you she's a virgin and THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN PROVE HER WRONG (except she has a child)!
Read the below, research on it diligently then imbed it into your skull!!

Merry100:
You can't reduce the whole world to your personal mindset. My brother's introduction took place today, and his engagement and wedding will happen soon. I have never seen

TheFreshVanilla:
‎To each his own. Some women choose to give their virginity to a man they sincerely believe loves them even after turning down other guys. Likewise, other women remain virgins not because they have better character or more disciplined, but because they view virginity as sacred/spiritual. Their discipline is rooted in that belief, not because they are morally better than others. Just as being religious does not automatically make someone a good person, virginity alone is not a complete measure of morality or character.

Gbadugbakun:
This message was brought to you by chatgtp.

Lalami3232:
Should I really tell him?? 😁

Those two are seriously DELUDED

True, don't say there are no virgins when you have never tasted me. I'm a virgins, tested and approved.
Let me know when you ready...
Ps...Females only

QuinQQ:
What should REALLY convince you folks you are DELUDED is that ANY woman can tell you she's a virgin and THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN PROVE HER WRONG (except she has a child)!
Read the below, research on it diligently then imbed it into your skull!!








Those two are seriously DELUDED

I have never personally come across a woman with such an experience, but I know it exists since it is scientifically documented.

The hymen is nothing special; some men just use it as a mere bragging right, in fact, it has often been used to belittle women.

But just to clarify:

The majority of women are born with a hymen. Cases where a woman is born without one are rare.

Less than 1% of women are born without a hymen, while few women may have it stretched or torn through certain strenuous physical activities.

Women who are not involved in strenuous physical activities are unlikely to have a torn or stretched hymen.

A lot of men who are obsessed with marrying virgins cannot agree to "No sex " relationships.
The obsession with virginity stems from their reckless sexual history with women, hence become afraid and start hunting for virgins that they will stilld deflower in order to "taste& test" before marrying them.

QuinQQ:
What should REALLY convince you folks you are DELUDED is that ANY woman can tell you she's a virgin and THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN PROVE HER WRONG (except she has a child)!
Read the below, research on it diligently then imbed it into your skull!!








Those two are seriously DELUDED

Drop the cap and Google bs. No hymen no virgin I don't care to know if she lost it during ballet, running or horse riding. The Op made very valid and important points and it's the truth

spiceadole:
A lot of men who are obsessed with marrying virgins cannot agree to "No sex " relationships.
The obsession with virginity stems from their reckless sexual history with women, hence become afraid and start hunting for virgins that they will stilld deflower in order to "taste& test" before marrying them.

Honestly, virginity often takes a toll on relationships. Many men don't even want a sexless relationship. It is often men with fragile egos who perceive virginity as a source of pride or status.

kiddaz:
Drop the cap and Google bs. No hymen no virgin I don't care to know if she lost it during ballet, running or horse riding. The Op made very valid and important points and it's the truth

So if a man has been anal and oral sexing a female for years she remains a virgin but a virgin with a torn hymen is no longer a virgin. You are a real genius

Merry100:
I have never personally come across a woman with such an experience, but I know it exists since it is scientifically documented.

This below is from MedicineNet, a top-doctors-produced health and medical information site. Study it then do further research so you'd no longer unknowingly be making a fool of yourself

You are still arguing against a point nobody made.

Read the post one more time.

The post never said virginity guarantees
a stable home.

The post never said virginity replaces love, compatibility or good judgment.

The post never said a virgin cannot end up in a bad marriage.

All of that is already in the post you are responding to.

What the post said is one thing only.
Given two women of equal character
the virgin comes with less history
that can complicate a marriage.

That is it.
That is the entire argument.

You have written three paragraphs defeating points that were never made while carefully avoiding the one point that was.

That is not consistency. That is a very educated way of missing the point.

- MV

Merry100:
You seem confused. My point was absolutely consistent: when I said virginity can help avoid certain problems or strengthen spiritual life, I was acknowledging personal or religious benefits, not claiming it determines relationship success. I even clearly stated that it has no role in relationship; that is, it has no role in choosing a partner.

Virginity is not one of the factors in building a stable home. A stable home is built on actual factors like love, compatibility, personality, and shared values

I often laugh when I see women remind their narcissistic husbands that they were virgins before he married them, especially when it is clear that the man does not love them.

Many virgins, rather than patiently selecting a good man, marry with the assumption that the man will be good to them because he married them as a virgin.

Some ladies assume virginity makes a partner "better" or compensates for poor judgment in choosing a spouse. That assumption is what leads to disappointment, not virginity itself.

At the same time, being a virgin or not does not determine whether someone will enjoy or suffer in marriage. A wrong choice of partner does. A person can be a virgin and still end up in a difficult marriage, just as a non-virgin can have a healthy one.

The real issue is not whether virginity is "good" or "bad," but making sure it is not mistaken for something it is not.

QuinQ:
So if a man has been anal and oral sexing a female for years she remains a virgin but a virgin with a torn hymen is no longer a virgin. You are a real genius



This below is from MedicineNet, a top-doctors-produced health and medical information site. Study it then do further research so you'd no longer unknowingly be making a fool of yourself

Like I said, I have never personally come across a woman with such an experience, but I know it exists since it is scientifically documented.

MedicineNet does not conduct medical studies; it only summarizes existing medical research. The information being discussed comes from peer-reviewed studies published in scientific journals.

You are the one fooling yourself, I am only being logical. Most of the available research on hymen and bleeding during first intercourse is based largely on self-reported data and international studies, not controlled "scientific testing".

In Nigeria, there is even limited published research on hymen-related bleeding during first intercourse. Most available data comes from studies in other countries, and the findings vary widely across populations.

Many of these studies come from mixed or Western populations, and they show that a significant number of people do not experience bleeding during first intercourse, while some do. This is why bleeding is not considered a reliable or standard indicator.

However, medical studies still suggest that when bleeding does occur, it is often linked to physical stretching or small tears of vaginal or hymenal tissue during first intercourse.

QuinQ:
So if a man has been anal and oral sexing a female for years she remains a virgin but a virgin with a torn hymen is no longer a virgin. You are a real genius

Don't be stwwp and stop deviating. I was only countering the gibberish you Googled. Vaginal virgin= hymen in tact. Wether she's an anal, deepthroat or tribbing queen isn't what we're arguing about. Girls who do that are still considered virgins vaginally. A torn hymen = non virgin

You said does a woman with multiple sexual partners carry zero emotional history from those encounters? You are already deviating from the main conversation. Being a non-virgin doesn’t mean she has slept with multiple men. Like I said earlier, she might have given her virginity to the man she thought was genuinely interested in her. Stuff like soul ties are spiritual beliefs. Psychology does not say non-virgins are damaged or virgins are emotionally healthy. Any comparisons she makes in marriage depend on the individual’s emotional maturity. Definitely not a universal rule like you’re presenting it. Nobody is saying men can’t have standards. Men are free to go for virgins if that’s what they want. The issue with you and others with your type of mentality is you keep generalizing and assuming the worst-case scenario applies to everyone who goes for non-virgins.

marcusverum:
Read the post again before you comment.

If you read it as an attack on women you missed the entire argument.

Nobody said every non virgin gave herself to the street. The post clearly stated that some women lost their virginity in relationships that did not survive and that there are non virgins who are not wayward.

That is in the post you are responding to. Which means you did not read it.

On baggage.
You said baggage comes from trauma and unresolved emotional issues.
Correct.

Now tell me.
Does a woman with multiple sexual partners
carry zero emotional history from those
encounters?
Does she have no soul ties?
No comparisons she makes in marriage?
No ex she cannot fully let go of?

The physical act has emotional consequences.
That is not an opinion.
That is biology and psychology combined.

A woman's worth is not reduced by her past.
But a man's right to set standards is not reduced by your feelings either.

Nobody is forcing any man to marry a virgin.
The post is awareness. Not a law.

- MV

kiddaz:
Don't be stwwp and stop deviating. I was only countering the gibberish you Googled. Vaginal virgin= hymen in tact. Wether she's an anal, deepthroat or tribbing queen isn't what we're arguing about. Girls who do that are still considered virgins vaginally. A torn hymen = non virgin

You are the one being totally "stwwp". You just talk off the top of your head. The other guy at least does a semblance of research. See what he himself posted below. That puts an end to the discussion.
Henceforth find another word to use. Don’t "stwwp"ly keep using the word "virgin" as it is virtually meaningless in any practical, verifiable sense!

Merry100:
Many of these studies come from mixed or Western populations, and they show that a significant number of people do not experience bleeding during first intercourse, while some do. This is why bleeding is not considered a reliable or standard indicator.

End of discussion. So henceforth find another word to use. Don’t keep using the word "virgin" as it is virtually meaningless in any practical, verifiable sense. This concludes this discussion.

marcusverum:
Now tell me.
Does a woman with multiple sexual partners
carry zero emotional history from those
encounters?
Does she have no soul ties?
No comparisons she makes in marriage?
No ex she cannot fully let go of?

Does this also apply to men or only to women?

QuinQ:
You are the one being totally "stwwp". You just talk off the top of your head. The other guy at least does a semblance of research. See what he himself posted below. That puts an end to the discussion.
Henceforth find another word to use. Don’t "stwwp"ly keep using the word "virgin" as it is virtually meaningless in any practical, verifiable sense!

End of discussion. So henceforth find another word to use. Don’t keep using the word "virgin" as it is virtually meaningless in any practical, verifiable sense. This concludes this discussion.

How did you eyes omit this?
However, medical studies still suggest that when bleeding does occur, it is often linked to physical stretching or small tears of vaginal or hymenal tissue during first intercourse.

This is the common one I have seen people experience. The other ones are what they suggest.

Merry100:
How did you eyes omit this?
However, medical studies still suggest that when bleeding does occur, it is often linked to physical stretching or small tears of vaginal or hymenal tissue during first intercourse.

This is the common one I have seen people experience. The other ones are what they suggest.

In statistics this is TOTALLY nolified by the statement:
"Significant number of people do not experience bleeding during first intercourse"

QuinQ:
In statistics this is TOTALLY nolified by the statement:
"Significant number of people do not experience bleeding during first intercourse"

"Significant" simply means large enough to be meaningful. It could even be 10 out of 100.

The concept of virginity itself cannot simply be "nullified."

Personally, I believe every woman deserves equal human dignity and should not be reduced to her sexual history. That does not mean people cannot personally choose to remain virgins, identify themselves as virgins, or share their experiences.

If you have an issue with it, deal with it. It did not only appear in dictionaries; it also appears in Scripture. Whether you agree with the concept or not, the term will not cease to exist.

A virgin simply refers to a person who has not engaged in sexual intercourse, regardless of hymen status.

Many men and women will continue to choose abstinence and set themselves apart from sexual intercourse. So the term "virgin" can never be cancelled.

Merry100:
"Significant" simply means large enough to be meaningful. It could even be 10 out of 100.

The concept of virginity itself cannot simply be "nullified."

Personally, I believe every woman deserves equal human dignity and should not be reduced to her sexual history. That does not mean people cannot personally choose to remain virgins, identify themselves as virgins, or share their experiences.

If you have an issue with it, deal with it. It did not only appear in dictionaries; it also appears in Scripture. Whether you agree with the concept or not, the term will not cease to exist.

A virgin simply refers to a person who has not engaged in sexual intercourse, regardless of hymen status.

Many men and women will continue to choose abstinence and set themselves apart from sexual intercourse. So the term "virgin" can never be cancelled.

Point is that "virgin" is virtually meaningless in any practical, verifiable, provable sense! Any woman who tells you she's a virgin IS a virgin, unless she has a child or you've seen her with a d*ck inside her.
Better terms are "virtuous", "chaste" "celibate" "abstinent", "continent", etc.
None of these terms is dependent on whether you've ever had sex or not