Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage - Family

Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage (10594 Views)

Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Deeprooted(op): 8:02pm On May 17

I won't bore you with unnecessary details.

My immediate younger sister is less than 2 years in her marriage with no children yet.

On the 13th of February, this year, her sister in-law moved in with her 6 children.

My sister thought it was just a visit only to be informed by the husband that his sister was divorced and would be with them for a few days.

Since her arrival with her children, my sister lost everything that has to do with privacy in her matrimonial home.

Dishes unwashed, a bag of rice lasts less than a month, the sitting room littered with dishes.

My sister has become a stranger in her home as the sister in-law now advises her husband against being too loving.

I love my sister so much and I'm already thinking of taking her away from that toxic environment.

I want my sister to leave the marriage since the husband is not helping matters with her sister.

This 17th of May and the sister in-law and her children are not making any arrangements of getting an apartment of their own.

What would you advise my sister to do?

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by WhiteIverson: 8:24pm On May 17

6 children ke. Instead of leaving the marriage, why not discuss with your husband?

If he can afford to feed his sister and her 6 children, then he can rent an apartment for them. The sister and the ex husband should sort out any other expenses by themselves.

If married couples cannot talk and find solutions to issues like this, then wetin una dey talk about for the marriage?

On top this very solvable issue, she wan leave marriage? What will now happen when the real challenges come. This is just 2 years of marriage.

Talk to your husband and express your displeasure!!! His response will guide you on what to do.

73 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Deeprooted(op): 8:31pm On May 17

WhiteIverson:
6 children ke. Instead of leaving the marriage, why not discuss with your husband?

If he can afford to feed his sister and her 6 children, then he can rent an apartment for them. The sister and the ex husband should sort out any other expenses by themselves.

If married couples cannot talk and find solutions to issues like this, then wetin una dey talk about for the marriage?

On top this very solvable issue, she wan leave marriage? What will now happen when the real challenges come. This is just 2 years of marriage.

Talk to your husband and express your displeasure!!! His response will guide you on what to do.

Thanks so much I will do that

2 Likes

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Kobojunkie: 8:33pm On May 17

Deeprooted:
➜I won't bore you with unnecessary details. My immediate younger sister is less than 2 years in her marriage with no children yet. On the 13th of February, this year, her sister in-law moved in with her 6 children. My sister thought it was just a visit only to be informed by the husband that his sister was divorced and would be with them for a few days.
➜Since her arrival with her children, my sister lost everything that has to do with privacy in her matrimonial home. Dishes unwashed, a bag of rice lasts less than a month, the sitting room littered with dishes. My sister has become a stranger in her home as the sister in-law now advises her husband against being too loving.
➜ I love my sister so much and I'm already thinking of taking her away from that toxic environment. I want my sister to leave the marriage since the husband is not helping matters with her sister. This 17th of May and the sister in-law and her children are not making any arrangements of getting an apartment of their own. What would you advise my sister to do?

1. Your sister's husband, not the woman in question, is the problem. Your sister should address her husband's lack of respect and possible complete disregard for her opinion directly. 😒

2. Again, the problem is that the root of your sister's marriage to her husband is fraught with no respect for her in the marriage, and all these points back to her relationship with her husband. If she is tired of being disrespected, she can move out of the marriage. However, if the man is not a violent man towards his own children, I suggest your sister work towards getting shared custody of the children as opposed to full custody. That way, the man will also need to make time out to take care of the children who are also his. 😒

3. Your sister needs to make the decision herself. She needs to be tired of the disrespect enough to want to change things for the better for herself. Otherwise, she may come back attacking you, claiming you made her do what she did not want to. So, leave her alone to do this for herself. Only help out where you are able to. 😒

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by WhiteIverson: 8:36pm On May 17

Kobojunkie:
1. Your sister's husband, not the woman in question, is the problem. Your sister should address her husband's lack of respect and possible complete disregard for her opinion directly. 😒

2. Again, the problem is that the root of your sister's marriage to her husband is fraught with no respect for her in the marriage, and all these points back to her relationship with her husband. If she is tired of being disrespected, she can move out of the marriage. However, if the man is not a violent man towards his own children, I suggest your sister work towards getting shared custody of the children as opposed to full custody. That way, the man will also need to make time out to take care of the children who are also his. 😒

3. Your sister needs to make the decision herself. She needs to be tired of the disrespect enough to want to change things for the better for herself. Otherwise, she may come back attacking you, claiming you made her do what she did not want to. So, leave her alone to do this for herself. Only help out where you are able to. 😒

Did you even read the post?
You just rushed to comment 🙄

They have no kids
The 6 kids belong to her sister in law

21 Likes

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Kobojunkie: 8:38pm On May 17

WhiteIverson:
➜ 6 children ke. Instead of leaving the marriage, why not discuss with your husband? If he can afford to feed his sister and her 6 children, then he can rent an apartment for them. The sister and the ex husband should sort out any other expenses by themselves.
➜ If married couples cannot talk and find solutions to issues like this, then wetin una dey talk about for the marriage? On top this very solvable issue, she wan leave marriage? What will now happen when the real challenges come. This is just 2 years of marriage. Talk to your husband and express your displeasure!!! His response will guide you on what to do.

1. This all sounds great until you consider the fact that the money the man would use in serving his sister's life. All of that money would have to be sourced from the shared marital property that OP's children would need for their education, needs, and future-- it is money that should go to greatly advantaging OP and her children, not outsiders in the marriage. Renting an apartment for and feeding 7 people no be joke.😒

I am not against individuals helping out their relatives when they are in trouble, but when marriage is involved, we should not simply take it as a given, but rather consider the ramifications of those expectations. 😒

2. mmhhmm!😒

1 Like

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Kobojunkie: 8:46pm On May 17

WhiteIverson:
➜Did you even read the post? You just rushed to comment 😒 They have no kids The 6 kids belong to her sister in law

I generally prefer to assume that married people will have kids at some point(even when it is indicated that there are none). My main purpose of doing that is to see that the practice of shared child custody is normalized over the alternative, full custody. Shared custody benefits both the parents and the children in situations where violence and harm are not expected.😒

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Deeprooted(op): 9:02pm On May 17

WhiteIverson:
Did you even read the post?
You just rushed to comment 🙄

They have no kids
The 6 kids belong to her sister in law

You perfectly understand the post

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by MarketDispatch: 1:00am On May 18

WhiteIverson:
Did you even read the post?
You just rushed to comment 🙄

They have no kids
The 6 kids belong to her sister in law

Are you your sister's husband that you want to take her away from her husband s house? She is a married woman. She should discuss her issue with her husband.

5 Likes

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by 2mch(m): 2:32am On May 18

Tell your husband to ensure his Sister cleans up after her children and ensure she helps with the chores while she lives there. Let him know you know about what the sister is saying and you are very disappointed in him that he will allow her to interfer in your marriage to that extent.

That he should please refrain from discussing your marriage with anyone or you will become uncomfortable with the sisters presence in your house. Also, if she really knew a lot about advise and how to keep a marriage she wont be in your house. So she should focus on why shes there and stick to the timeline on when she should leave. She shouldnt ruin your home like hers.

4 Likes

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by DeltaBachelor(m): 6:19am On May 18

The husband here is the problem. Your sister has to TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS here, if not “ Sope o ti lo “

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Seunpapa65: 6:23am On May 18

So what's the six children would be doing if the can't wash plates and do some chores

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Eba50: 6:23am On May 18

Some women eh. She may even tell her brother that her kids are his kids, and no need wasting time having his own kids.if it was the other way round, would she have accepted same?

2 Likes

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Gotocourt: 6:23am On May 18

Deeprooted:
I won't bore you with unnecessary details.

My immediate younger sister is less than 2 years in her marriage with no children yet.

On the 13th of February, this year, her sister in-law moved in with her 6 children.

My sister thought it was just a visit only to be informed by the husband that his sister was divorced and would be with them for a few days.

Since her arrival with her children, my sister lost everything that has to do with privacy in her matrimonial home.

Dishes unwashed, a bag of rice lasts less than a month, the sitting room littered with dishes.

My sister has become a stranger in her home as the sister in-law now advises her husband against being too loving.

I love my sister so much and I'm already thinking of taking her away from that toxic environment.

I want my sister to leave the marriage since the husband is not helping matters with her sister.

This 17th of May and the sister in-law and her children are not making any arrangements of getting an apartment of their own.

What would you advise my sister to do?

The husband should send them to family house, if none, rent their own apartment. Hope she spoke out about not loving statement 🤷🏿. Your sister will decide wen she wants to leave 🤷🏿

1 Like

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by TenQ: 6:25am On May 18

Deeprooted:
I won't bore you with unnecessary details.

My immediate younger sister is less than 2 years in her marriage with no children yet.

On the 13th of February, this year, her sister in-law moved in with her 6 children.

My sister thought it was just a visit only to be informed by the husband that his sister was divorced and would be with them for a few days.

Since her arrival with her children, my sister lost everything that has to do with privacy in her matrimonial home.

Dishes unwashed, a bag of rice lasts less than a month, the sitting room littered with dishes.

My sister has become a stranger in her home as the sister in-law now advises her husband against being too loving.

I love my sister so much and I'm already thinking of taking her away from that toxic environment.

I want my sister to leave the marriage since the husband is not helping matters with her sister.

This 17th of May and the sister in-law and her children are not making any arrangements of getting an apartment of their own.

What would you advise my sister to do?

You love your sister so much that you want to destroy her marriage!?

I want my sister to leave the marriage since the husband is not helping matters with her sister

Is this the best help you think she needs?

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Diamond098454(f): 6:30am On May 18

6 what? Moved in where? Your sister should have a conversation with her husband serious one for that matter. What a weak in law you got there

I really feel for your sister

3 Likes

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Julibet: 6:33am On May 18

Tell your sister to speak up, it's her house.

Let's just hope your family didn't drain the guy when he came to marry her anyway and that your sister works and earns good money. If not, she'll not really have a say in that house.

1 Like

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by akindelelawrenc: 6:36am On May 18

Deeprooted:
I won't bore you with unnecessary details.

My immediate younger sister is less than 2 years in her marriage with no children yet.

On the 13th of February, this year, her sister in-law moved in with her 6 children.

My sister thought it was just a visit only to be informed by the husband that his sister was divorced and would be with them for a few days.

Since her arrival with her children, my sister lost everything that has to do with privacy in her matrimonial home.

Dishes unwashed, a bag of rice lasts less than a month, the sitting room littered with dishes.

My sister has become a stranger in her home as the sister in-law now advises her husband against being too loving.

I love my sister so much and I'm already thinking of taking her away from that toxic environment.

I want my sister to leave the marriage since the husband is not helping matters with her sister.

This 17th of May and the sister in-law and her children are not making any arrangements of getting an apartment of their own.

What would you advise my sister to do?

very simple, she should give her husband two options, either he chose her or her sister in law, this will determine next move

1 Like

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by 3Si69: 6:38am On May 18

Your sister failed to read the bold letters written on the walls or perhaps she did but she didn't tell you. 2 years in marriage and not sign of pregnancy yet? Let me tell you, in marriage, nothing like waiting because in 6 months, you will get tired of sex, your focus will shift to start make babes. The moment you tried for a year and nothing happen, trust me, man will start misbehaving, small thing will turn disagreement. Your sister should go back home to treat herself or stay in there, accept which ever way they treat her pending she takes in.

1 Like

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by We4all: 6:46am On May 18

Six kids, unwashed dishes, items littering around the house.....Did your sister lose her tongue? What stops her from reading the riot act to her sister in-law? It is her house, and she should learn to put her foot down.

The situation is not that deep to seek for a divorce, but she and her partner should have a long conversation about it. The man cannot pretend he didn't know his sister wasn't going to stay for just a few days. He created the mess, so he should fix it if he respects his wife.

2 Likes

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Killermamba: 6:46am On May 18

Deeprooted:
I won't bore you with unnecessary details.

My immediate younger sister is less than 2 years in her marriage with no children yet.

On the 13th of February, this year, her sister in-law moved in with her 6 children.

My sister thought it was just a visit only to be informed by the husband that his sister was divorced and would be with them for a few days.

Since her arrival with her children, my sister lost everything that has to do with privacy in her matrimonial home.

Dishes unwashed, a bag of rice lasts less than a month, the sitting room littered with dishes.

My sister has become a stranger in her home as the sister in-law now advises her husband against being too loving.

I love my sister so much and I'm already thinking of taking her away from that toxic environment.

I want my sister to leave the marriage since the husband is not helping matters with her sister.

This 17th of May and the sister in-law and her children are not making any arrangements of getting an apartment of their own.

What would you advise my sister to do?

I have always advise who wants to listen, keep your family away from your home if you want to enjoy your marriage, they can visit but not stay.

2 Likes

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by edogu(m): 6:48am On May 18

This matter dey complicated. grin

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Blackdisciple(m): 6:53am On May 18

What nonsense is that coming from the husband...

4 Likes

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Antoeni(m): 6:56am On May 18

Your Sister is Now a Widow ,Since She Has Lost Her Supposed husband to a Dirty Sister in Law, Let Her Remarry Aftet Mourning

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by We4all: 6:56am On May 18

3Si69:
Your sister failed to read the bold letters written on the walls or perhaps she did but she didn't tell you. 2 years in marriage and not sign of pregnancy yet? Let me tell you, in marriage, nothing like waiting because in 6 months, you will get tired of sex, your focus will shift to start make babes. The moment you tried for a year and nothing happen, trust me, man will start misbehaving, small thing will turn disagreement. Your sister should go back home to treat herself or stay in there, accept which ever way they treat her pending she takes in.

The opinions that most of you churn out here are so chauvinistic and archaic. It makes me feel sorry for the unfortunate woman that ends up with your like.

It takes two people to make babies. So what makes you conclude that the fault is from the woman, and not the man? And why should only the woman be the one to seek medical help?

2 Likes

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by shogotermies(m): 7:02am On May 18

What kind of man will allow his sister with 6 children move into his home?

I wonder how some men thinks.

4 Likes

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by 3Si69: 7:03am On May 18

We4all:
The opinions that most of you churn out here are so chauvinistic and archaic. It makes me feel sorry for the unfortunate woman that ends up with your like.

It takes two people to make babies. So what makes you conclude that the fault is from the woman, and not the man? And why should only the woman be the one to seek medical help?

Your sense is there in your head to make use of it in everything you do in your life. Perhaps lack of comprehension is the biggest problem of life you're facing right now. Her husband won't misbehave if he was the one has the problem. What I said was based on assumptions not the real reason her husband is not taking her serious.

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Beautifulday: 7:03am On May 18

Deeprooted:
I won't bore you with unnecessary details.

My immediate younger sister is less than 2 years in her marriage with no children yet.

On the 13th of February, this year, her sister in-law moved in with her 6 children.

My sister thought it was just a visit only to be informed by the husband that his sister was divorced and would be with them for a few days.

Since her arrival with her children, my sister lost everything that has to do with privacy in her matrimonial home.

Dishes unwashed, a bag of rice lasts less than a month, the sitting room littered with dishes.

My sister has become a stranger in her home as the sister in-law now advises her husband against being too loving.

I love my sister so much and I'm already thinking of taking her away from that toxic environment.

I want my sister to leave the marriage since the husband is not helping matters with her sister.

This 17th of May and the sister in-law and her children are not making any arrangements of getting an apartment of their own.

What would you advise my sister to do?

If you take your sister, will you marry her? In fact, that is what the guy man is waiting for.

Your sister should talk to him to get her an apartment.

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by femi4: 7:03am On May 18

Deeprooted:
I won't bore you with unnecessary details.

My immediate younger sister is less than 2 years in her marriage with no children yet.

On the 13th of February, this year, her sister in-law moved in with her 6 children.

My sister thought it was just a visit only to be informed by the husband that his sister was divorced and would be with them for a few days.

Since her arrival with her children, my sister lost everything that has to do with privacy in her matrimonial home.

Dishes unwashed, a bag of rice lasts less than a month, the sitting room littered with dishes.

My sister has become a stranger in her home as the sister in-law now advises her husband against being too loving.

I love my sister so much and I'm already thinking of taking her away from that toxic environment.

I want my sister to leave the marriage since the husband is not helping matters with her sister.

This 17th of May and the sister in-law and her children are not making any arrangements of getting an apartment of their own.

What would you advise my sister to do?

Mind your business
Let your sister n her hubby sort things out

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by erad(m): 7:20am On May 18

Nothing in what you wrote suggests she doesn't have privacy in her home. She has been turned into a stranger in her home.

Also, why is leaving the marriage the only solution you can think of to a temporary inconvenience? You didn't even suggest her going on a trip to clear her head, you're talking about leaving the marriage. Una just see marriage as kitchen, enter and leave as you please.

1 Like

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by We4all: 7:21am On May 18

3Si69:
Your sense is there in your head to make use of it in everything you do in your life. Perhaps lack of comprehension is the biggest problem of life you're facing right now. Her husband won't misbehave if he was the one has the problem. What I said was based on assumptions not the real reason her husband is not taking her serious.

How many Nigerian men have ever owned up to be infertile? And how many will stick to a woman who can't get pregnant? The sole reason a man gets married in Nigeria is to have children, and it's very rare for a man to support his wife if she is incapable of conceiving.

So if a man remains married to a woman who is yet to conceive, it is because he knows he is the problem, and not because he is loyal. Even at that, an egoistic man will still treat the woman like trash. So, your theory about the man disrespecting the wife because she is infertile hold no water.

1 Like

Re: Help! No My Sister Has No Privacy In Her Marriage by Phils: 7:24am On May 18

It seems there may have been underlying issues in the marriage even before the sister-in-law moved in.

Two years without a child should not automatically become a source of pressure, though society in Nigeria often makes it one.

Regarding the food and household expenses, if your Sister is not solely responsible for providing them, she should avoid focusing too much on how fast things are being consumed for now, so she can protect her peace of mind.

On orderliness in the house... With six children from the visitor, some of them should be old enough to assist with dishes and basic cleaning. Your sister can politely involve them in maintaining the house.

Your Sister should have a calm and honest conversation with her husband, explaining how the lack of privacy and the prolonged stay are affecting her emotionally and their marriage. Together, they should discuss possible timelines and arrangements for the sister-in-law to get her own place.

If the environment continues to affect her mental health, you can help her to temporarily engage herself elsewhere in a productive way, for example through further studies, professional development or work, rather than making it look like she is simply running away from the marriage. Leaving a marriage is a major decision and should not be made purely out of frustration or pressure from outsiders.

I sincerely wish her peace, wisdom, and a positive resolution.

1 Like

1 2 Reply

Wife With No Privacy • My Younger Sister Has This Entitlement Mentality. Help I'm Scared For Her. • My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control • 2 • 3 • 4

Saving Yourself For Marriage - Reasons To Wait Until Your Wedding Nighf • Husband Having Affairs And Not Admitting It But Wants To Continue His Marriage • How Do I Fatten My Toddler?