₦airaland Forum

Good evening, everyone. Hope y'all had a great day.
I have a question please. I just want to know if am the one not seeing this as I should or something.
So the thing is that my pregnant wife, currently in her 2nd trimester is making it look like I don't assist her enough even though I do help very often, even before she got pregnant. I don't see any big deal in it at all, I cook sometimes, do the whole house cleaning every now and then, and even help her wash her clothes sometimes. But I would say these days I haven't been helping out alot due to work schedule, not that I don't help at all, I still help whenever I can.

But in her own words, it's as if she wants me to do 80% of everything because of her condition. I didn't overreact or anything when she said it, but I was like what sort of talk is that.

I just want to know if she's right and I'm the one not seeing things as I should.

Kindly share your opinion pls.

Google Image used for illustration

Does she work?

Do you work?

There isn’t enough context to conclude on.

Goodman024:
Good evening, everyone. Hope y'all had a great day.
I have a question please. I just want to know if am the one not seeing this as I should or something.
So the thing is that my pregnant wife, currently in her 2nd trimester is making it look like I don't assist her enough even though I do help very often, even before she got pregnant. I don't see any big deal in it at all, I cook sometimes, do the whole house cleaning every now and then, and even help her wash her clothes sometimes. But I would say these days I haven't been helping out alot due to work schedule, not that I don't help at all, I still help whenever I can.
But in her own words, it's as if she wants me to do 80% of everything because of her condition. I didn't overreact or anything when she said it, but I was like what sort of talk is that.
I just want to know if she's right and I'm the one not seeing things as I should.
Kindly share your opinion pls.

All I can say is that; try to be a patient with her as possible. This phase will pass!!!

Thank your star she has not started telling you to buy her Amala by 3am

Double0h7:
Does she work?

Do you work?

There isn’t enough context to conclude on.

Yes, we both work. Her work doesn't involve any stress though. It's a local government job, they basically sit in the office from morning till evening.
And of course, I work. I work from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.

dawnomike:
All I can say is that; try to be a patient with her as possible. This phase will pass!!!

Thank your star she has not started telling you to buy her Amala by 3am

Lol
Okay boss

Goodman024:
➜ Good evening, everyone. Hope y'all had a great day. I have a question please. I just want to know if am the one not seeing this as I should or something. So the thing is that my pregnant wife, currently in her 2nd trimester is making it look like I don't assist her enough even though I do help very often, even before she got pregnant. I don't see any big deal in it at all, I cook sometimes, do the whole house cleaning every now and then, and even help her wash her clothes sometimes.
➜ But I would say these days I haven't been helping out alot due to work schedule, not that I don't help at all, I still help whenever I can.
➜ But in her own words, it's as if she wants me to do 80% of everything because of her condition. I didn't overreact or anything when she said it, but I was like what sort of talk is that.I just want to know if she's right and I'm the one not seeing things as I should.
Kindly share your opinion pls.

Sometimes? What is sometimes? At least 3 or 4 days out of every week? Be specific!

2. When can you? You mean like once a week or once a month? Be specific! 😒

3. Do 80% of what? You mean she wants you to cook, clean, and wash for 3 or 4 days a week, or 5 days out of every week? What is 80% here? 😒

Does your wife work? Do you work? How many hours a week do each of you work? Which one of you has the most free time, etc.? How is her pregnancy coming along? What advice did her doctors give her as far as work and stress is concerned? ... Look...It all depends on a lot of factors, so you would need to provide us with more details for us to determine which one of you is right or in the wrong here. I would advise you to do more to help out in the meantime since she is carrying your child, and the home is equally yours. Also, pregnancy is not an easy task. 😒

Goodman024:
➜ Yes, we both work. Her work doesn't involve any stress though. It's a local government job, they basically sit in the office from morning till evening. And of course, I work. I work from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.

1. By this statement in red, I can already tell that she is probably right that you are the problem. You think that a pregnant woman logging a heavy womb back and forth to what is probably a boring job where she gets to sit all day long, according to you, doesn't involve stress? My gosh! 😒😒

Kobojunkie:
1. By this statement in red, I can already tell that she is probably right that you are the problem. You think that a pregnant woman logging a heavy woman back and forth to what is probably a boring job where she gets to sit all day long, according to you, doesn't involve stress? My gosh! 😒😒

Where in my write-up does it seem like I’m not being empathetic about her condition?
Just shut up if you have nothing meaningful to contribute.

Goodman024:
Good evening, everyone. Hope y'all had a great day.
I have a question please. I just want to know if am the one not seeing this as I should or something.
So the thing is that my pregnant wife, currently in her 2nd trimester is making it look like I don't assist her enough even though I do help very often, even before she got pregnant. I don't see any big deal in it at all, I cook sometimes, do the whole house cleaning every now and then, and even help her wash her clothes sometimes. But I would say these days I haven't been helping out alot due to work schedule, not that I don't help at all, I still help whenever I can.
But in her own words, it's as if she wants me to do 80% of everything because of her condition. I didn't overreact or anything when she said it, but I was like what sort of talk is that.
I just want to know if she's right and I'm the one not seeing things as I should.
Kindly share your opinion pls.

The hormones are raging, please be patient with her. If you can afford to, please employ someone to help around the house. That would also afford you more rest, which I presume you need as the sole provider.

Juliearth:
The hormones are raging, please be patient with her. If you can afford to, please employ someone to help around the house. That would also afford you more rest, which I presume you need as the sole provider.

Alright, noted
Appreciate your input, thanks

What do u mean dat her job is a local Govet job. Dat DEY are sitting all day doing nothing?

Oju4190:
What do u mean dat her job is a local Govet job. Dat DEY are sitting all day doing nothing?

To some large extent, you and i knows what the OP is saying, well he wouldn't have said it the way he said it thereby making everyone that works in every local govt in nigeria looks lazy.

I have worked at a government hospital and I know exactly what the OP is saying but saying the pregnant wife is working a non stressful work is an understatement, even the gossip they gossip there na work on it's own.

Oju4190:
What do u mean dat her job is a local Govet job. Dat DEY are sitting all day doing nothing?

And you think I don't know what I'm saying?

martinskelly:
To some large extent, you and i knows what the OP is saying, well he wouldn't have said it the way he said it thereby making everyone that works in every local govt in nigeria looks lazy.

I have worked at a government hospital and I know exactly what the OP is saying but saying the pregnant wife is working a non stressful work is an understatement, even the gossip they gossip there na work on it's own.

You get my point, I guess I shouldn't have said it that way sha

Goodman024:
You get my point, I guess I shouldn't have said it that way sha

Bro, na public forum you dey so no expect 💯% validation for your actions.

One thing i know is that every pregnant woman produces the same core set of pregnancy hormones, but their exact levels, timing, and how they affect the body vary significantly from person to person, so try and observe her from time to time and show empathy where necessary.

Goodman024:
Yes, we both work. Her work doesn't involve any stress though. It's a local government job, they basically sit in the office from morning till evening.
And of course, I work. I work from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.

So you work full time and she works full time and you call doing the chores at home “helping her”
You are not helping her, you are being an adult and keeping your environment clean and safe.
You need to do better. Your woman has is pregnant, working, and expected to come home and work some more. Downplaying her job doesn’t help your argument. I feel sorry for her.

Double0h7:
So you work full time and she works full time and you call doing the chores at home “helping her”
You are not helping her, you are being an adult and keeping your environment clean and safe.
You need to do better. Your woman has is pregnant, working, and expected to come home and work some more. Downplaying her job doesn’t help your argument. I feel sorry for her.

Feel sorry for yourself! If you can read properly, you will see that I'm not complaining but rather asking for opinion.
And it's silly to compare my full time job with her full time job.

martinskelly:
Bro, na public forum you dey so no expect 💯% validation for your actions.

One thing i know is that every pregnant woman produces the same core set of pregnancy hormones, but their exact levels, timing, and how they affect the body vary significantly from person to person, so try and observe her from time to time and show empathy where necessary.

I understand boss. Thank you.

Double0h7:
So you work full time and she works full time and you call doing the chores at home “helping her”
You are not helping her, you are being an adult and keeping your environment clean and safe.
You need to do better. Your woman has is pregnant, working, and expected to come home and work some more. Downplaying her job doesn’t help your argument. I feel sorry for her.

Is ur straight of hormuz open? or is it closed?

For your own good and hers, don't help too much and make her get used to it and become lazy.
Chores and exercises are very good for her condition. It keeps her healthy, strong and prepared for delivery.
My two cents.

Try to assist her more, get her a maid or someone to help her for the period.
pls,you can render her any assistance but stop washing her cloths
Thank you for your attention to the matter !!!

Goodman024:
Good evening, everyone. Hope y'all had a great day.
I have a question please. I just want to know if am the one not seeing this as I should or something.
So the thing is that my pregnant wife, currently in her 2nd trimester is making it look like I don't assist her enough even though I do help very often, even before she got pregnant. I don't see any big deal in it at all, I cook sometimes, do the whole house cleaning every now and then, and even help her wash her clothes sometimes. But I would say these days I haven't been helping out alot due to work schedule, not that I don't help at all, I still help whenever I can.

But in her own words, it's as if she wants me to do 80% of everything because of her condition. I didn't overreact or anything when she said it, but I was like what sort of talk is that.

I just want to know if she's right and I'm the one not seeing things as I should.

Kindly share your opinion pls.

Google Image used for illustration

Don't fall into that trap... Once you start she will keep asking for more. From experience oooo.

Probably it’s the hormones.

Orisirisi! So dem tell you say this forum is for marriage or family counselling....

Find a way to balance things with you wife.
Assist her reasonably and well enough but no let her overuse you.... Pregnancy no be sickness

Nairaland ooooooo.

This new trend of moving absurd stories to FP is getting annoying fr. Nairaland get level na.

I understand sha, I know times are "one kind" and everybody dey hustle tight. Engagement and traffic na your food but abeg no turn here to Facebook na.

Na beg I dey beg oooooo

This is why I use to advise men don't start what u can't finish...in my own case I made it clear that my work is to provide and protect my home ..I use to fetch water every morning for my wife until one day I nearly fell inside my compound well.. due to hang over I had ...I told myself, so na like this u for kpai ..the need I bought pumping machine and call plumber to fix it for me ...then I told myself if u need water pump it into the kitchen...I won't fetch water for life...bought washing machine...since then am free .....

Nothing sweet like to kpansh a pregnant woman aswear

Create space for one of her relatives to assist. End the thread here.

Goodman024:
Good evening, everyone. Hope y'all had a great day.
I have a question please. I just want to know if am the one not seeing this as I should or something.
So the thing is that my pregnant wife, currently in her 2nd trimester is making it look like I don't assist her enough even though I do help very often, even before she got pregnant. I don't see any big deal in it at all, I cook sometimes, do the whole house cleaning every now and then, and even help her wash her clothes sometimes. But I would say these days I haven't been helping out alot due to work schedule, not that I don't help at all, I still help whenever I can.

But in her own words, it's as if she wants me to do 80% of everything because of her condition. I didn't overreact or anything when she said it, but I was like what sort of talk is that.

I just want to know if she's right and I'm the one not seeing things as I should.

Kindly share your opinion pls.

Google Image used for illustration

Don't help her at all let her do it. She's not the first woman to get pregnant .