₦airaland Forum

**My Experience Working With My Boss Was I Wrong to Quit?**

I got a job in early April. The scope of the job was for me to be the Admin Officer/Manager of the company. I am the only staff working directly with the CEO or Managing Director, as I prefer to call her. She employed me to bring her ideas into reality.

What we basically do at the company is this: we run a crypto academy, we have a 50-seater space we rent out for seminars and programs, and we also manage an NGO.

When I resumed, I submitted a blueprint outlining how I planned to help the office succeed. However, from the very first day, she never read it. She kept saying she did not have time to, and that continued through the entire first month.

From my second week, I began to notice changes in my boss's behavior specifically in the way she spoke to me. For context, I am 31 years old, married with two kids. I was previously a freelancer, working on Fiverr and Upwork, and I was earning good money until my Fiverr account was blocked and my Upwork account was suspended. I decided to step out and find something to do rather than sit at home idle.

That was when her attitude began to shift. She started speaking to me very unprofessionally. The first incident that stood out was when she asked me to retrieve something from her fridge. I could not find it, so I went back to inform her. She told me to check again. I did, and it still was not there. When I reported back to her, she said and I quote *"Israel, once I get there and find that item in the fridge, I am going to slap you."* She said this in the presence of 12 men we were having a meeting with, including two prominent pastors. I said nothing. I simply smiled and let it go.

Not long after, my wife gave birth to our second child. I informed my boss, and she attended the naming ceremony, which I genuinely appreciated. However, to this day, she has not given us any gift.

Now, the issue is this: she employed me as an Admin Officer to manage the company, not to perform secretarial duties, run personal errands, or act as a messenger. She frequently sends me to the market for things she could easily handle herself. Beyond that, I handle all the printing, typing, graphics design using Canva, and all social media posting. I essentially do everything that needs to be done in that office.

The problem is that she has no understanding of how long tasks take. She expects designs to be completed in under 15 minutes. She would give me an instruction and say, *"I don't care how you do it, just get it done."* She never gives me the opportunity to explain timelines or constraints. Anytime I tried, she would tell me to keep quiet and leave her office. She also occasionally sent me pictures of documents and expected me to print them out as clean, professional originals which is simply not possible. I sometimes had to completely redesign documents from scratch just to make them presentable.

There is also a financial issue. On top of my official duties, I have been spending my personal money — not my salary on office expenses. She would ask me to purchase things for the office or buy food when guests visited, and I would pay out of pocket with the expectation of being reimbursed. Over time, this left me financially drained.

After my child's naming ceremony, I sent her a WhatsApp message reminding her that she owed me money, and asked if I could receive part of it so I could get home. She responded that we would talk when I got to the office. The truth was, I had no data on my phone and no transport fare. I had already told her before leaving the office the previous day that I was financially down and might not be able to resume the following day. She acknowledged it and said we would discuss it later.

She never called. The next morning, around 8:30 AM, she called me and asked why I was not in the office. I reminded her that I had explained I had no transport. She then began to yell at me. She called me "very stupid" and asked why I hadn't called my father, my mother, my sisters, or even begged my wife for transport money. Every time I tried to respond, she cut me off and told me to keep quiet, saying that when she was talking, I was not to speak.

She brought up the fact that she had paid my salary the previous month 70,000 Naira. What she does not acknowledge is that I live in Maraba and the office is in Utako. My transport costs alone come to approximately 60,000 Naira per month, which means my net gain from this job is only 10,000 Naira. Despite this, she has refused to hire any of the candidates who came in for interviews, claiming she cannot pay salaries above 70,000 Naira. As a result, I have been covering multiple roles on my own.

She then claimed she had overpaid me the previous month. When I asked how, she said it was because she had bought me food and attended my child's naming ceremony. I responded calmly, telling her that buying me food was her own decision I never approached her saying I was hungry. And attending the naming ceremony was equally her choice. Neither of those things constitutes a salary overpayment.

She has also made comments about my wife's pregnancy that I found deeply inappropriate. On several occasions when I could not complete a design within 30 minutes, she would say things like, *"Israel, you are slow. Is it because your wife gave birth? Am I the one who asked your wife to give birth?"*

After enduring all of this, I finally spoke up. I told her that regardless of my position, she had no right to speak to me in the way she had been. I told her the truth firmly, but without insults. She said no one at my level had ever spoken to her that way. I told her I was speaking to her that way because I was being honest with her. She then said she was done. I responded that I was done as well and that I would not be continuing in the role.

There is one more thing worth mentioning. I had built a landing page for the company and billed her 150,000 Naira, which covered the cost of the premium package, domain registration, and all related expenses. The day after I launched it, she brought her daughter to sit beside me and had me walk her through everything every purchase, every step of the process, and all payment receipts. I cooperated fully and showed them everything.

So I am now bringing this to Niralanders for honest feedback. I will not pretend I stayed silent throughout I did speak back. But I did not insult her. I simply refused to be spoken over and stood my ground for the first time. I told her she had never once given me space to explain myself, and that every time I attempted to, she shut me down.

My questions are simple: **Was I wrong for speaking back? And was I wrong for quitting on the spot?**

God abeg oo.

One prayer I pray every day is this: "May God not allow me be in a dire situation financially that will force me to take nonsense attitude from an employer".

Its the way carry yourself that people look and talk to you. Even my mother wey born me can't talk me like that , talk less of a female lousy employer that I have her type at home.

First of all. NO! You did not overreact, and you did not do anything wrong to address her wrong attitude and quit the job.
Not all employers are like this. There are bosses who actually appreciate and reward selflessness on the part of their employees. This particular one is just an un-forthu-nate sad soul.

I've worked with very toxic bosses, and worked in very amiable bosses, and the difference is clear.

Sometime in late 2014, I was working at a Printing Press being paid N13k as a graphic designer, the boss was a man - but God, I've never seen a more USE_ LESS SON OF A BIA-T- CH. There is no happy day in the office whenever this man is around - he insults the staff, insults the wife in the presence of the staff, insults customers when they "price too low" - BUT there was one particular guy he NEVER INSULTS - I'll explain why at the end.

So one day, we were working on a project, anyone who has worked with Direct Image machine will know that, paper is bound to jam, na so this man curse the world out of our body - he specifically called me devil sha - mehn, I just sofri type my resignation letter that day, when he stepped out of the office, I also left! I quit - It was almost the end of the month - but I said f--k him and f__k his salary!

Now, you see that guy who he never dared to talk to anyhow? THIS GUY WAS A BIG BOY - He was a freelance professional photographer, so he didn't really even need the job - the man literally begged him to come and manage the photo studio we were running, and this vile man of a boss never talked to him anyhow.

Where am I driving at with this? I understand the need to take up a job so as not to stay idle, but when you're working as an employee, make sure you're doing your assigned duties, but FROM THE VERY FIRST DAY, YOU MUST SET THE TONE for what you will and WILL NOT TOLERATE. I am currently working somewhere now, Everybody respects themselves, I do my work perfectly well, BUT they've had the opportunity to see that I don't TAKE DISRESPECT, and luckily, no one has tried that with me - I'll leave (like I said up there because there are options).

The tasks you were doing before fiverr and upwork went beserk, is there a way you can replicate same success on other platforms? Maybe by cold mailing/dms? See if you can find ways of getting referrals, and continue your freelancing - NO TOXIC WORKSPACE IS WORTH THE SALARY.

Softsnare:
**My Experience Working With My Boss Was I Wrong to Quit?**

I got a job in early April. The scope of the job was for me to be the Admin Officer/Manager of the company. I am the only staff working directly with the CEO or Managing Director, as I prefer to call her. She employed me to bring her ideas into reality.

What we basically do at the company is this: we run a crypto academy, we have a 50-seater space we rent out for seminars and programs, and we also manage an NGO.

When I resumed, I submitted a blueprint outlining how I planned to help the office succeed. However, from the very first day, she never read it. She kept saying she did not have time to, and that continued through the entire first month.

From my second week, I began to notice changes in my boss's behavior specifically in the way she spoke to me. For context, I am 31 years old, married with two kids. I was previously a freelancer, working on Fiverr and Upwork, and I was earning good money until my Fiverr account was blocked and my Upwork account was suspended. I decided to step out and find something to do rather than sit at home idle.

That was when her attitude began to shift. She started speaking to me very unprofessionally. The first incident that stood out was when she asked me to retrieve something from her fridge. I could not find it, so I went back to inform her. She told me to check again. I did, and it still was not there. When I reported back to her, she said and I quote *"Israel, once I get there and find that item in the fridge, I am going to slap you."* She said this in the presence of 12 men we were having a meeting with, including two prominent pastors. I said nothing. I simply smiled and let it go.

Not long after, my wife gave birth to our second child. I informed my boss, and she attended the naming ceremony, which I genuinely appreciated. However, to this day, she has not given us any gift.

Now, the issue is this: she employed me as an Admin Officer to manage the company, not to perform secretarial duties, run personal errands, or act as a messenger. She frequently sends me to the market for things she could easily handle herself. Beyond that, I handle all the printing, typing, graphics design using Canva, and all social media posting. I essentially do everything that needs to be done in that office.

The problem is that she has no understanding of how long tasks take. She expects designs to be completed in under 15 minutes. She would give me an instruction and say, *"I don't care how you do it, just get it done."* She never gives me the opportunity to explain timelines or constraints. Anytime I tried, she would tell me to keep quiet and leave her office. She also occasionally sent me pictures of documents and expected me to print them out as clean, professional originals which is simply not possible. I sometimes had to completely redesign documents from scratch just to make them presentable.

There is also a financial issue. On top of my official duties, I have been spending my personal money — not my salary on office expenses. She would ask me to purchase things for the office or buy food when guests visited, and I would pay out of pocket with the expectation of being reimbursed. Over time, this left me financially drained.

After my child's naming ceremony, I sent her a WhatsApp message reminding her that she owed me money, and asked if I could receive part of it so I could get home. She responded that we would talk when I got to the office. The truth was, I had no data on my phone and no transport fare. I had already told her before leaving the office the previous day that I was financially down and might not be able to resume the following day. She acknowledged it and said we would discuss it later.

She never called. The next morning, around 8:30 AM, she called me and asked why I was not in the office. I reminded her that I had explained I had no transport. She then began to yell at me. She called me "very stupid" and asked why I hadn't called my father, my mother, my sisters, or even begged my wife for transport money. Every time I tried to respond, she cut me off and told me to keep quiet, saying that when she was talking, I was not to speak.

She brought up the fact that she had paid my salary the previous month 70,000 Naira. What she does not acknowledge is that I live in Maraba and the office is in Utako. My transport costs alone come to approximately 60,000 Naira per month, which means my net gain from this job is only 10,000 Naira. Despite this, she has refused to hire any of the candidates who came in for interviews, claiming she cannot pay salaries above 70,000 Naira. As a result, I have been covering multiple roles on my own.

She then claimed she had overpaid me the previous month. When I asked how, she said it was because she had bought me food and attended my child's naming ceremony. I responded calmly, telling her that buying me food was her own decision I never approached her saying I was hungry. And attending the naming ceremony was equally her choice. Neither of those things constitutes a salary overpayment.

She has also made comments about my wife's pregnancy that I found deeply inappropriate. On several occasions when I could not complete a design within 30 minutes, she would say things like, *"Israel, you are slow. Is it because your wife gave birth? Am I the one who asked your wife to give birth?"*

After enduring all of this, I finally spoke up. I told her that regardless of my position, she had no right to speak to me in the way she had been. I told her the truth firmly, but without insults. She said no one at my level had ever spoken to her that way. I told her I was speaking to her that way because I was being honest with her. She then said she was done. I responded that I was done as well and that I would not be continuing in the role.

There is one more thing worth mentioning. I had built a landing page for the company and billed her 150,000 Naira, which covered the cost of the premium package, domain registration, and all related expenses. The day after I launched it, she brought her daughter to sit beside me and had me walk her through everything every purchase, every step of the process, and all payment receipts. I cooperated fully and showed them everything.

So I am now bringing this to Niralanders for honest feedback. I will not pretend I stayed silent throughout I did speak back. But I did not insult her. I simply refused to be spoken over and stood my ground for the first time. I told her she had never once given me space to explain myself, and that every time I attempted to, she shut me down.

My questions are simple: **Was I wrong for speaking back? And was I wrong for quitting on the spot?**

I have been in your shoes before, I think it's the toxic pattern common to most Nigerian women when they become married or already have children. You don't have to rant it out, just move on

@op, what are you seeking opinions on? You want people to say yes you spoke to her badly so that you can go back and apologized to her? Or you want people to say you did the right thing so that you can move on with your life? Stop seeking people's opinions in matters that concerns your own life Live your life to the fullest

Softsnare:
**My Experience Working With My Boss Was I Wrong to Quit?**

I got a job in early April. The scope of the job was for me to be the Admin Officer/Manager of the company. I am the only staff working directly with the CEO or Managing Director, as I prefer to call her. She employed me to bring her ideas into reality.

What we basically do at the company is this: we run a crypto academy, we have a 50-seater space we rent out for seminars and programs, and we also manage an NGO.

When I resumed, I submitted a blueprint outlining how I planned to help the office succeed. However, from the very first day, she never read it. She kept saying she did not have time to, and that continued through the entire first month.

From my second week, I began to notice changes in my boss's behavior specifically in the way she spoke to me. For context, I am 31 years old, married with two kids. I was previously a freelancer, working on Fiverr and Upwork, and I was earning good money until my Fiverr account was blocked and my Upwork account was suspended. I decided to step out and find something to do rather than sit at home idle.

That was when her attitude began to shift. She started speaking to me very unprofessionally. The first incident that stood out was when she asked me to retrieve something from her fridge. I could not find it, so I went back to inform her. She told me to check again. I did, and it still was not there. When I reported back to her, she said and I quote *"Israel, once I get there and find that item in the fridge, I am going to slap you."* She said this in the presence of 12 men we were having a meeting with, including two prominent pastors. I said nothing. I simply smiled and let it go.

Not long after, my wife gave birth to our second child. I informed my boss, and she attended the naming ceremony, which I genuinely appreciated. However, to this day, she has not given us any gift.

Now, the issue is this: she employed me as an Admin Officer to manage the company, not to perform secretarial duties, run personal errands, or act as a messenger. She frequently sends me to the market for things she could easily handle herself. Beyond that, I handle all the printing, typing, graphics design using Canva, and all social media posting. I essentially do everything that needs to be done in that office.

The problem is that she has no understanding of how long tasks take. She expects designs to be completed in under 15 minutes. She would give me an instruction and say, *"I don't care how you do it, just get it done."* She never gives me the opportunity to explain timelines or constraints. Anytime I tried, she would tell me to keep quiet and leave her office. She also occasionally sent me pictures of documents and expected me to print them out as clean, professional originals which is simply not possible. I sometimes had to completely redesign documents from scratch just to make them presentable.

There is also a financial issue. On top of my official duties, I have been spending my personal money — not my salary on office expenses. She would ask me to purchase things for the office or buy food when guests visited, and I would pay out of pocket with the expectation of being reimbursed. Over time, this left me financially drained.

After my child's naming ceremony, I sent her a WhatsApp message reminding her that she owed me money, and asked if I could receive part of it so I could get home. She responded that we would talk when I got to the office. The truth was, I had no data on my phone and no transport fare. I had already told her before leaving the office the previous day that I was financially down and might not be able to resume the following day. She acknowledged it and said we would discuss it later.

She never called. The next morning, around 8:30 AM, she called me and asked why I was not in the office. I reminded her that I had explained I had no transport. She then began to yell at me. She called me "very stupid" and asked why I hadn't called my father, my mother, my sisters, or even begged my wife for transport money. Every time I tried to respond, she cut me off and told me to keep quiet, saying that when she was talking, I was not to speak.

She brought up the fact that she had paid my salary the previous month 70,000 Naira. What she does not acknowledge is that I live in Maraba and the office is in Utako. My transport costs alone come to approximately 60,000 Naira per month, which means my net gain from this job is only 10,000 Naira. Despite this, she has refused to hire any of the candidates who came in for interviews, claiming she cannot pay salaries above 70,000 Naira. As a result, I have been covering multiple roles on my own.

She then claimed she had overpaid me the previous month. When I asked how, she said it was because she had bought me food and attended my child's naming ceremony. I responded calmly, telling her that buying me food was her own decision I never approached her saying I was hungry. And attending the naming ceremony was equally her choice. Neither of those things constitutes a salary overpayment.

She has also made comments about my wife's pregnancy that I found deeply inappropriate. On several occasions when I could not complete a design within 30 minutes, she would say things like, *"Israel, you are slow. Is it because your wife gave birth? Am I the one who asked your wife to give birth?"*

After enduring all of this, I finally spoke up. I told her that regardless of my position, she had no right to speak to me in the way she had been. I told her the truth firmly, but without insults. She said no one at my level had ever spoken to her that way. I told her I was speaking to her that way because I was being honest with her. She then said she was done. I responded that I was done as well and that I would not be continuing in the role.

There is one more thing worth mentioning. I had built a landing page for the company and billed her 150,000 Naira, which covered the cost of the premium package, domain registration, and all related expenses. The day after I launched it, she brought her daughter to sit beside me and had me walk her through everything every purchase, every step of the process, and all payment receipts. I cooperated fully and showed them everything.

So I am now bringing this to Niralanders for honest feedback. I will not pretend I stayed silent throughout I did speak back. But I did not insult her. I simply refused to be spoken over and stood my ground for the first time. I told her she had never once given me space to explain myself, and that every time I attempted to, she shut me down.

My questions are simple: **Was I wrong for speaking back? And was I wrong for quitting on the spot?**

Please, no matter what happens... never ever go back to that Job.

So in reality, you were working for free?
If your transport costs 60k monthly and you were earning 70k, how were you able to sustain yourself, your wife and 2 kids with 10k?

I know there are bad employers but when you are constructing AI generated fiction, at least make it believable.

Guy, grow up

WhiteIverson:
So in reality, you were working for free?
If your transport costs 60k monthly and you were earning 70k, how were you able to sustain yourself, your wife and 2 kids with 10k?

I know there are bad employers but when you are constructing am AI generated fiction, at least make it believable.