₦airaland Forum

Jmichael1:
I don't know what else to tell my mum just to let her understand that I get bored wen ever I'm around crowd of people and I'm an introvert..
My mum is that kind of person that believes in "I do for you,you do for me....

I'm currently 26yrs,and all my life, I've been to just 1 burial and just 1 marriage.
Despite the fact I lived alone,my mum always call me wen ever there's occasion either in the village or in the neighborhood were I grew up here in yenagoa..

She don't want me to miss any occasion along I heard about it.....she will always say"Michael...my son,no forget say nah u be 1st pikin,na people wen u do for today,go do for u wen ur turn reach,dey try attend people party ooooh

I don't know what else to do oooh,I'm not into party or occasion lifestyle..

My phone has been switched off since on Thursday,bcuz I heard of burial of sum1 I knew,and I know she must call me to attend the burial and I'm not ready to go...

To cut the long story short,plz my fellow nairalanders,Wat will u do in dis situation if u were in my shoes.

Jmichael1:
I don't know what else to tell my mum just to let her understand that I get bored wen ever I'm around crowd of people and I'm an introvert..
My mum is that kind of person that believes in "I do for you,you do for me....

I'm currently 26yrs,and all my life, I've been to just 1 burial and just 1 marriage.
Despite the fact I lived alone,my mum always call me wen ever there's occasion either in the village or in the neighborhood were I grew up here in yenagoa..

She don't want me to miss any occasion along I heard about it.....she will always say"Michael...my son,no forget say nah u be 1st pikin,na people wen u do for today,go do for u wen ur turn reach,dey try attend people party ooooh

I don't know what else to do oooh,I'm not into party or occasion lifestyle..

My phone has been switched off since on Thursday,bcuz I heard of burial of sum1 I knew,and I know she must call me to attend the burial and I'm not ready to go...

To cut the long story short,plz my fellow nairalanders,Wat will u do in dis situation if u were in my shoes.

Jmichael1:
I don't know what else to tell my mum just to let her understand that I get bored wen ever I'm around crowd of people and I'm an introvert..
My mum is that kind of person that believes in "I do for you,you do for me....

I'm currently 26yrs,and all my life, I've been to just 1 burial and just 1 marriage.
Despite the fact I lived alone,my mum always call me wen ever there's occasion either in the village or in the neighborhood were I grew up here in yenagoa..

She don't want me to miss any occasion along I heard about it.....she will always say"Michael...my son,no forget say nah u be 1st pikin,na people wen u do for today,go do for u wen ur turn reach,dey try attend people party ooooh

I don't know what else to do oooh,I'm not into party or occasion lifestyle..

My phone has been switched off since on Thursday,bcuz I heard of burial of sum1 I knew,and I know she must call me to attend the burial and I'm not ready to go...

To cut the long story short,plz my fellow nairalanders,Wat will u do in dis situation if u were in my shoes.

Jmichael1:
I don't know what else to tell my mum just to let her understand that I get bored wen ever I'm around crowd of people and I'm an introvert..
My mum is that kind of person that believes in "I do for you,you do for me....

I'm currently 26yrs,and all my life, I've been to just 1 burial and just 1 marriage.
Despite the fact I lived alone,my mum always call me wen ever there's occasion either in the village or in the neighborhood were I grew up here in yenagoa..

She don't want me to miss any occasion along I heard about it.....she will always say"Michael...my son,no forget say nah u be 1st pikin,na people wen u do for today,go do for u wen ur turn reach,dey try attend people party ooooh

I don't know what else to do oooh,I'm not into party or occasion lifestyle..

My phone has been switched off since on Thursday,bcuz I heard of burial of sum1 I knew,and I know she must call me to attend the burial and I'm not ready to go...

To cut the long story short,plz my fellow nairalanders,Wat will u do in dis situation if u were in my shoes.

Jmichael1:
I don't know what else to tell my mum just to let her understand that I get bored wen ever I'm around crowd of people and I'm an introvert..
My mum is that kind of person that believes in "I do for you,you do for me....

I'm currently 26yrs,and all my life, I've been to just 1 burial and just 1 marriage.
Despite the fact I lived alone,my mum always call me wen ever there's occasion either in the village or in the neighborhood were I grew up here in yenagoa..

She don't want me to miss any occasion along I heard about it.....she will always say"Michael...my son,no forget say nah u be 1st pikin,na people wen u do for today,go do for u wen ur turn reach,dey try attend people party ooooh

I don't know what else to do oooh,I'm not into party or occasion lifestyle..

My phone has been switched off since on Thursday,bcuz I heard of burial of sum1 I knew,and I know she must call me to attend the burial and I'm not ready to go...

To cut the long story short,plz my fellow nairalanders,Wat will u do in dis situation if u were in my shoes.

Jmichael1:
I don't know what else to tell my mum just to let her understand that I get bored wen ever I'm around crowd of people and I'm an introvert..
My mum is that kind of person that believes in "I do for you,you do for me....

I'm currently 26yrs,and all my life, I've been to just 1 burial and just 1 marriage.
Despite the fact I lived alone,my mum always call me wen ever there's occasion either in the village or in the neighborhood were I grew up here in yenagoa..

She don't want me to miss any occasion along I heard about it.....she will always say"Michael...my son,no forget say nah u be 1st pikin,na people wen u do for today,go do for u wen ur turn reach,dey try attend people party ooooh

I don't know what else to do oooh,I'm not into party or occasion lifestyle..

My phone has been switched off since on Thursday,bcuz I heard of burial of sum1 I knew,and I know she must call me to attend the burial and I'm not ready to go...

To cut the long story short,plz my fellow nairalanders,Wat will u do in dis situation if u were in my shoes.

Jmichael1:
I don't know what else to tell my mum just to let her understand that I get bored wen ever I'm around crowd of people and I'm an introvert..
My mum is that kind of person that believes in "I do for you,you do for me....

I'm currently 26yrs,and all my life, I've been to just 1 burial and just 1 marriage.
Despite the fact I lived alone,my mum always call me wen ever there's occasion either in the village or in the neighborhood were I grew up here in yenagoa..

She don't want me to miss any occasion along I heard about it.....she will always say"Michael...my son,no forget say nah u be 1st pikin,na people wen u do for today,go do for u wen ur turn reach,dey try attend people party ooooh

I don't know what else to do oooh,I'm not into party or occasion lifestyle..

My phone has been switched off since on Thursday,bcuz I heard of burial of sum1 I knew,and I know she must call me to attend the burial and I'm not ready to go...

To cut the long story short,plz my fellow nairalanders,Wat will u do in dis situation if u were in my shoes.

Jmichael1:
I don't know what else to tell my mum just to let her understand that I get bored wen ever I'm around crowd of people and I'm an introvert..
My mum is that kind of person that believes in "I do for you,you do for me....

I'm currently 26yrs,and all my life, I've been to just 1 burial and just 1 marriage.
Despite the fact I lived alone,my mum always call me wen ever there's occasion either in the village or in the neighborhood were I grew up here in yenagoa..

She don't want me to miss any occasion along I heard about it.....she will always say"Michael...my son,no forget say nah u be 1st pikin,na people wen u do for today,go do for u wen ur turn reach,dey try attend people party ooooh

I don't know what else to do oooh,I'm not into party or occasion lifestyle..

My phone has been switched off since on Thursday,bcuz I heard of burial of sum1 I knew,and I know she must call me to attend the burial and I'm not ready to go...

To cut the long story short,plz my fellow nairalanders,Wat will u do in dis situation if u were in my shoes.

Jmichael1:
I don't know what else to tell my mum just to let her understand that I get bored wen ever I'm around crowd of people and I'm an introvert..
My mum is that kind of person that believes in "I do for you,you do for me....

I'm currently 26yrs,and all my life, I've been to just 1 burial and just 1 marriage.
Despite the fact I lived alone,my mum always call me wen ever there's occasion either in the village or in the neighborhood were I grew up here in yenagoa..

She don't want me to miss any occasion along I heard about it.....she will always say"Michael...my son,no forget say nah u be 1st pikin,na people wen u do for today,go do for u wen ur turn reach,dey try attend people party ooooh

I don't know what else to do oooh,I'm not into party or occasion lifestyle..

My phone has been switched off since on Thursday,bcuz I heard of burial of sum1 I knew,and I know she must call me to attend the burial and I'm not ready to go...

To cut the long story short,plz my fellow nairalanders,Wat will u do in dis situation if u were in my shoes.

themanderon:
Don't worry, very soon you will know the importance of attending others people's burial and parties.

davades:
Who go con attend yours as u no dey go ppl ow?

Dalohad:
Igbo people say 'Ngbe onye na akwa ibe ya, ka ona kwa onwe ya'

Na when you dey bury other people, you go know how your own burial go be..

As I dey so, if I die today I know people wey go carry cows come my burial, because I do am for them when den bury their relatives.

Even the woman wey go cook the burial rice, if I die today, I sabi am already..

psalmsjob:
Switching off your phone is a sign of not being man enough at 26 years you're still afraid of living your life as you want. Will she force you to attend or if you attend will she force you to participate in what is going on at the party?

But for sake of advice....send them money instead while you shy away in your corner but if you don't have money to give to every celebrant then that is the main issue you're afraid to admit to yourself

femi4:
When you start having your own family ...you will understand

You honor them by attending their events even if its just for 10 mins

Javid13:
Baba u no understand until e reach your turn to host party or any event. Try and attend some especially burials.

Blessedarethepe:
It's needless bro

Blessedarethepe:
She did not even know that as an introvert that you are, you did not even need the presence of all those people she forcing you to attend their parties.

femi4:
ki lomode e mo

Some doors are open by association..you wont survive office politics with this mindset

Blessedarethepe:
It's none of the business of introverted people......

davades:
Na their family dem dey brought shame to, imagine make person wan marry make ppl no dey

laivwire:
She's right. Wait until you have a party and see if anyone will attend. It's like you haven't seen people begging strangers to come full seats at their parties.

It's only when you attend people's event that they turn up at yours. If not, they will collect your IV but won't come for your party. That's why even if you attend someone's party late or didn't participate much, you still go and greet the celebrant and their parents to show that you indeed attended. Do for them, they do for you

ThaThinka:
The bold section sounds ridiculous! In this economy? Who even send them to do party?

I'm not a party person either and I don't bank on reciprocity, especially in matters of this nature. Who party help?

Many Africans just like to major on minor matters. Na parties go open the gate of heaven to the dead or make a marriage a successful one? Some people just won't cease to amaze - in a foolish way. Some will even incur debts to organise these parties and later turn around to complain that people did not gift them. 🤨

As I dey like this, if I can avoid having to organise or be the focus of a party, I will gladly do that. It's one of the (lesser) reasons this young old man isn't married yet.

Stephen0mozzy:
Hehe... You're getting worked up for nothing my brother. It's something my mum can do also 😅 ... But she knows that I don't do crowds or event things.

You need to talk to her jare. Mama is right about na who you do for, go do for you. She understands the law of reciprocity, and she wants you to also invest in time for other people so that they can also turn up for you when you need people around you too.

Personally, I'd tell her that I don't like parties, but I can send her money to spray on my behalf, atleast that way if people nor come my own because of me, dem go come because of my mama.

But... Pick up the phone and call her, at 26 you're nearing a man now, let her know that you understand why she says it, but that you can't be present for all events. Mothers understand, and from what you say, I think you have a lovely mother too.

Oldhead:
You are lucky to actually have family members that knows this about you and are okay with it . Mine that are always looking for faults already , has said that it is pride that is doing me. I’m really tired of extended family honestly.

Stephen0mozzy:
My Brother, na how you take arrange chair for parlor naim your visitors go take siddan put.

Extended family will always say what they want to say. Me, them don say I wicked, get strong head, etc.... but themselves know that when it comes to being responsible and dependable na me too, so they just accept my "boundaries".

Also, move out as early as possible if you're still living together.

Oldhead:
Brother , I actually Dey on my own , doing my thing and don’t ask for nothing. I don’t disrespect them in anyway , but they just don’t like that the fact that I don’t do crowds and attending functions and party cus it’s not my thing. I get panic attacks easily. Funny thing is, they’ ve actually witness some episodes. My anxiety always kicks in when I stay longer, when a function just starts , I’m good and all calm and even vibing sometimes, but after 2hours max. The anxiety kicks in and I make a move to leave. then I go greet my uncles and aunts to say my goodbyes, the next thing i will hear is” everyone is still here, why is it only you that always leaves first, you are too proud blah blah. How do one start to explain to a Nigerian that about mental illness called anxiety disorder and that people actually suffer from it? Especially illiterates like them? If only they know the amount of mental courage I have to summon to be there alone. I will exercise , meditate do all sorts just to prepare myself mentally, but still yet my anxiety gets the better of me. And my family is a very large one , I’m not even lying when I say no month goes by without someone celebrating something. I’m happy about the milestone been celebrated, but those occasions are always hell for me. And I can’t even boycott them. I must attend because I’m the first son of my mother, the first grandson from my mother’s side too. Sorry for the long post man, I just needed to vent. Thanks.

Oldhead:
Brother , I actually Dey on my own , doing my thing and don’t ask for nothing. I don’t disrespect them in anyway , but they just don’t like that the fact that I don’t do crowds and attending functions and party cus it’s not my thing. I get panic attacks easily. Funny thing is, they’ ve actually witness some episodes. My anxiety always kicks in when I stay longer, when a function just starts , I’m good and all calm and even vibing sometimes, but after 2hours max. The anxiety kicks in and I make a move to leave. then I go greet my uncles and aunts to say my goodbyes, the next thing i will hear is” everyone is still here, why is it only you that always leaves first, you are too proud blah blah. How do one start to explain to a Nigerian that about mental illness called anxiety disorder and that people actually suffer from it? Especially illiterates like them? If only they know the amount of mental courage I have to summon to be there alone. I will exercise , meditate do all sorts just to prepare myself mentally, but still yet my anxiety gets the better of me. And my family is a very large one , I’m not even lying when I say no month goes by without someone celebrating something. I’m happy about the milestone been celebrated, but those occasions are always hell for me. And I can’t even boycott them. I must attend because I’m the first son of my mother, the first grandson from my mother’s side too. Sorry for the long post man, I just needed to vent. Thanks.

laivwire:
It's not just about parties...and the law of reciprocity is very much in effect. A single tree won't make a forest.