₦airaland Forum

You'll think that a good/churchy girl, especially the born again ones should have men chasing after them

Or getting married every weekend. But that's not always the case.

I used to have a good / very churchy cousin sister like that who was unmarried till around 35 years of age.

She's good but finding a husband was extremely difficult.

The one thing I noticed from good ladies is their rude behavior.

Hear me out first. A girl can be good in that she doesn't sleep around and try to be closer to God.

But these sets of ladies tends to be rude to men who comes around.

I don't know how they think relationships happen, whether they think a man will just come around, propose to them and get married.

Or whether God will just speak out of heaven and say, you and this man are destined husband and wife, so get married next week.

But somehow, these ladies fail to understand that relationship is built, it first start with a show of interest, a flirt or a simple lust.

Those things they feel is a "sin" are what starts relationship.

And so, when a man approaches a churchy lady, her immediate response is always the rude one.

She want to display her "goodness" or make it known she's "pure" and not worldly.

And this most times turn most men away from them.

It's one thing to be good but it's another thing to constantly want to prove it to people.

Trust me, a man knows a good lady when he sees one. Most men knows how to treat a good woman, you constantly saying "I'm not one of those cheap girls" and so on doesn't make any difference, it only pushes the man away.

You might be saying "the genuine man" or "intentional man" will continue to pursue or apply pressure, my dear they will not.

And this is why most of you miss good men and then later in a hurry settle for men you may not like.

I've seen too many girls dodging potential and even men of substance and later settled for people way less than them.

Take my cousin for instance, the one man who was once genuinely interested in her, came with a big car.

He was big but she was young, beautiful and all "in the lord". She once said to people "he thinks I'll like him because of his cars"

When she started midnight prayers for marriage with fasting aggressively eh. It was not funny o.

Every prayer at midnight was filled with husband requests, how did I know this? Because she prayed loudly and everyone in the compound can hear it.

Who did she later settled for? A teacher! Way older than her.

Imagine a man probably at 45 years, with almost nothing going on for him.

See I'm not here to castigate anyone or to put anyone down or to pressure anyone.

As a lady, understand that relationship is not magical. It's not 'godly'.

I have another girl from my school. Then she was the girl every medical student wanted.

Being a good girl pays. Being a foōlish good girl trying to constantly prove a point will lead you no where.

This is also why brothers in deeper life often find it difficult to marry within the church.

I remember in one of the service the older pastor keep speaking on why brothers often go outside to marry while the sisters are 'good' and beautiful.

It's simply because these girls have become 'un-talk-to-able'.

Any guy here who have talked to a churchy girl can easily relate to this. How they constantly want to control you, and prove that they are not cheap

Wetin i wan Carry church girl do? like you said , they are very rude, bad character, they want to control you, always letting you know they are better than you, always reminding us what "pastor" said, always reminding you, you are destined for hell fire, and most importantly ,they are awful in bed, they know nothing, its like dating a big baby. Tueh!

Host78:
Any guy here who have talked to a churchy girl can easily relate to this. How they constantly want to control you, and prove that they are not cheap

You no just lie at all. I dey come make I come drop my experience.

You have said it all

Host78:
Any guy here who have talked to a churchy girl can easily relate to this. How they constantly want to control you, and prove that they are not cheap

As a self professed confirmed womanizer you and your type will always look at church girls from this biased lens. Besides I wonder where you got this shitty stats from.

It takes wisdom and God's favour to get a decent man or woman to marry and challenges are all across board be you a church girl or not.

Not only churchy girls.

Even those who call themselves water girls are worst ,more than the ones you just talked about.

The truth is that no good girl currently in Nigeria. We only have scorpion queens, and iron monkeys, parading themselves as hungry lionesses looking for men who'll spend on them

If no be say my money never reach to buy revd. Father form make I kuku go join seminary, nothing for concern me again with relationship with any Nigerian banny at all

I don't get it, what's wrong with settling for a teacher over a man with big cars? Will those big cars bring her peace and happiness?

And did you expect her to settle for a man she wasn't in-love with because he was affluent with flashy and big cars?

There are miserable people everywhere.

It has nothing to do with any church.

Escorts get married.
Some escorts aren't married.

Church girls get married.
Some church girls aren't married.


Can you understand my post?

Postulate based on empirical data, not personal experience.

Standards are high and it takes years of discipline to maintain the. Most boys just want to hit it and move on and we know this ever since girls entered puberty. Only parents and girls with brothers can relate to this. When you see the adults some people become, you will then understand what they mean by raising up a child to become a proper adult. I am talking about a good girl here. Good girls are not easy to raise and a lot of men are not serious with their lives. Ask men out there who have children and you'll understand what I mean. The way they raise their girl child, they are not raising her for one guy who is NFA to come and spoil her life.


The way people today treat sex, her standards cannot be much higher than before. Read the comments of the boys here on NL. After spoiling the life of another man's daughter, they still want a pure woman to marry. You even see them talking about single moms as used and condemn. They don't take them seriously. Why? Because another man has been there before. If a man gets an olosho pregnant, they insult him for wifing a community borehole wey other men de take enjoy themsleves. Can you see how they reason? I don't need to argue with them but read between the lines. Premarital sex is not good for you ladies. Life doesn't judge the man the way it judges women when it comes to sex. We are not equal. Do not be deceived. Your value is in your virginity. Check out the meaning of the word

noun. a person who has never had sexual intercourse. an unmarried girl or woman.

The only thing that is worth the effort for men is the unconqured woman and he has to pay the price for it. If he has you cheap without doing the rituals, you go ask what are we now tire. Una think say all those traditions are for fun shey? Check history and all societies, why did they preserve the women so much until marriage? It's not even about religion now. Women are the second creators of earth, if them mine that place anyhow, na disaster. Mine am well and all the gold and diamond go flow well.


https://www.tiktok.com/video/7644699735466544397


Edit: even women who are secondary virgins, serious men are carefully listening to you on how you see sex. If they see you are easy to get into, you make them doubt whether they can have you at home without problems. Men know what they are doing, don't mind them. That your bottom is the goal and we know. Ignore our double standards.

SixSeven:
Marriage Is Not an Achievement But Responsibility Is
Many young people now reject marriage as a measure of success, and they are not wrong. Marriage by itself is not an achievement but it is a social structure. Now let me educate them a bit, what deserves closer attention is not your rejection of the idea of marriage, but the growing discomfort with responsibility that often accompanies it.

In African philosophy, a human being is measured largely by character. Achievement lies in the ability to act with restraint, care, and accountability. Marriage without these qualities is empty and freedom without them is destructive.

Sex has never been treated as morally neutral in any serious society. This is not because desire is evil and we are not biological people but because sex carries consequences. It creates emotional bonds, social expectations, and the possibility of children. A culture that treats sex as casual while demanding stable outcomes is not enlightened. It is inconsistent with social order and you can see the results today. One guy is always writing on his posts here on NL that the only advice he has for men is to conduct DNA.

For women, sexual fidelity was historically preserved to protect clear lines of responsibility but the ones who think they have opened eyes said it was for control. In a world without DNA testing, fidelity ensured that motherhood, paternity, and inheritance were socially legible. It allowed men to be held accountable and children to know where they belonged. Sexual norms were less about purity and more about responsibility. This did not mean women alone bore moral burden. Female sexual discipline made sense only in societies that demanded male duty in return. When restraint was expected of women but responsibility was optional for men, the moral logic broke.

Motherhood, like fatherhood, is more than biology. To bring life into the world is to accept obligation. The woman who nurtures, guides, and forms character performs one of the most demanding social roles that exists. A society that dismisses this labor while celebrating autonomy misunderstands freedom.
The family unit matters not just because it is traditional, but because it works. It is the foundation to society. It is the first place where limits are learned, where care becomes habitual, and where responsibility becomes personal. When family structures weaken, the cost of this weakness does not go away as people think it will fizzle out. It reappears in institutions asked to do what homes once did. There was a reason we said a community raises a child and why our proverbs talk about family and lineage. For so many years, the West tried to break our hegemony, they wanted us to leave our values and ethics and be like them while secretly admiring our foundation and structure. Thank God many people have japa now, they can now see the difference between oyinbo life and our society where each child is everyone's child but unfortunately when they go back home, alas even the people back home want to be like the oyinbo man without knowing it's a sad life disconnected from our roots as a people.

Young people are not wrong to question marriage. They are right to question hollow traditions. What must be reconsidered is not marriage as a trophy, but responsibility as a value.


Sexual freedom without accountability is not progress. Fidelity without mutual obligation is not justice.

I am happy this generation is sleeping anyhow and anywhere with anyone they like. When the chicken comes home to roost, you will then appreciate the wisdom of your forefathers and mothers in preserving the institution called marriage and why society needs order, accountability and responsibility. It is what we call you go see for yourself. When you are young you question many things but with age you start to understand many things too. Your parents got married because it was a sign of responsibility. Some people asked why the opinion of a married person was more important than that of an unmarried person. Those who maintained this tradition knew that it takes a special person to live with another wo/man as husband/wife and still be normal. That's why in the past, for politicians, they used to yab themselves if anyone of them had family issues that "you that cannot take care of your home wants to take care of our country".



Marriage is a school.
Freedom is a mirage.
Marriage is not an achievement.
Becoming a responsible adult is.

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7203755082138209582

LOL

I have known a lot of church girls who got married...fast.

My mother was the quintessential church girl. So much so that they even mocked her behind her back for being holy holy...and she got married after her NYSC.

Stereotypes much?

One of the things I have seen is that, they are quite bossy and tends to control the men as though they are commanding demons

There is no such thing as good person talkless girls...we are all managing our bad attributes and character overtime.


Shout-out to all chess players on nairaland earning big bucks via the game.

Because most of them are very judgemental because of their over religious attitude. One church girl once told me that she can't date me because she saw a picture of me in a swimming pool with some friends and I was only on tight shorts. According to her am very carnal.

Host78:
You'll think that a good/churchy girl, especially the born again ones should have men chasing after them

Or getting married every weekend. But that's not always the case.

I used to have a good / very churchy cousin sister like that who was unmarried till around 35 years of age.

She's good but finding a husband was extremely difficult.

The one thing I noticed from good ladies is their rude behavior.

Hear me out first. A girl can be good in that she doesn't sleep around and try to be closer to God.

But these sets of ladies tends to be rude to men who comes around.

I don't know how they think relationships happen, whether they think a man will just come around, propose to them and get married.

Or whether God will just speak out of heaven and say, you and this man are destined husband and wife, so get married next week.

But somehow, these ladies fail to understand that relationship is built, it first start with a show of interest, a flirt or a simple lust.

Those things they feel is a "sin" are what starts relationship.

And so, when a man approaches a churchy lady, her immediate response is always the rude one.

She want to display her "goodness" or make it known she's "pure" and not worldly.

And this most times turn most men away from them.

It's one thing to be good but it's another thing to constantly want to prove it to people.

Trust me, a man knows a good lady when he sees one. Most men knows how to treat a good woman, you constantly saying "I'm not one of those cheap girls" and so on doesn't make any difference, it only pushes the man away.

You might be saying "the genuine man" or "intentional man" will continue to pursue or apply pressure, my dear they will not.

And this is why most of you miss good men and then later in a hurry settle for men you may not like.

I've seen too many girls dodging potential and even men of substance and later settled for people way less than them.

Take my cousin for instance, the one man who was once genuinely interested in her, came with a big car.

He was big but she was young, beautiful and all "in the lord". She once said to people "he thinks I'll like him because of his cars"

When she started midnight prayers for marriage with fasting aggressively eh. It was not funny o.

Every prayer at midnight was filled with husband requests, how did I know this? Because she prayed loudly and everyone in the compound can hear it.

Who did she later settled for? A teacher! Way older than her.

Imagine a man probably at 45 years, with almost nothing going on for him.

See I'm not here to castigate anyone or to put anyone down or to pressure anyone.

As a lady, understand that relationship is not magical. It's not 'godly'.

I have another girl from my school. Then she was the girl every medical student wanted.

Being a good girl pays. Being a foōlish good girl trying to constantly prove a point will lead you no where.

This is also why brothers in deeper life often find it difficult to marry within the church.

I remember in one of the service the older pastor keep speaking on why brothers often go outside to marry while the sisters are 'good' and beautiful.

It's simply because these girls have become 'un-talk-to-able'.

most of this church girl you see are pastor's play toy

I grew up in the church I go tell you for free
Na now I don spoil self ,
Most of those people you call churchy girl like preeq pass you, I remember one for my church dat year she got married around 39-41
I see many shall Dem like church boys and church boys nor really get mind to dagger them well

This is fact! Try to strike a convo with them, that is when they will start acting like angel Mary

Because they think regularly going to church and praying is enough, they don't work on some of their relationships related traits that need improving on.

In fact in my experience, they are the worst prepared for relationships and marraige.

Many of them are boring, religiously brainwashed and can’t make good freaky wife

Most of them are overly selective, judmental and most times rude to male toasters and advances in the name of religion

this is a myth you all love to spread

Church girl or no church girl, ladies marry late cuz they are looking for rich men to marry them

Hypocrisy started and ended with dem wey de claim religious piety.(Not just Christianity & Islam )
Am never moved by those yeye values.
99% are wolves in sheep's clothing.

avoid church girls o. Those set of people can be very wicked and rigid.
They can pretend to be nice until u get entangled

thrillionaire:
As a self professed confirmed womanizer you and your type will always look at church girls from this biased lens. Besides I wonder where you got this shitty stats from.

It takes wisdom and God's favour to get a decent man or woman to marry and challenges are all across board be you a church girl or not.

Your wisdom too much. I salute my general.

I was trying one recently but she always use the word I must obey her if i want to marry her.. Imagine that strong word Obey then again as a catholic i am serving in the wrong church i should give my life to christ and then worship in all these their new developing under zinc church they over obey their pastor.. Lastly she caught me taking just a bottle of beer once if you see the way she shouted in public saying when I said hello to her! She shouted.. Get behind me satan 😄😄😄
Laslas i reason say this lady na even baby mama why am I stressing myself when sweet ladies i can control one or two are out there.

It is often better to be alone or as a single and capable parent than to be with an affliction of a pathner. Be it for a man or a woman.

A girl is not rude if she vehemently reject sexual elements in acquaintances and relationships.

Host78:
You'll think that a good/churchy girl, especially the born again ones should have men chasing after them

Or getting married every weekend. But that's not always the case.

I used to have a good / very churchy cousin sister like that who was unmarried till around 35 years of age.

She's good but finding a husband was extremely difficult.

The one thing I noticed from good ladies is their rude behavior.

Hear me out first. A girl can be good in that she doesn't sleep around and try to be closer to God.

But these sets of ladies tends to be rude to men who comes around.

I don't know how they think relationships happen, whether they think a man will just come around, propose to them and get married.

Or whether God will just speak out of heaven and say, you and this man are destined husband and wife, so get married next week.

But somehow, these ladies fail to understand that relationship is built, it first start with a show of interest, a flirt or a simple lust.

Those things they feel is a "sin" are what starts relationship.

And so, when a man approaches a churchy lady, her immediate response is always the rude one.

She want to display her "goodness" or make it known she's "pure" and not worldly.

And this most times turn most men away from them.

It's one thing to be good but it's another thing to constantly want to prove it to people.

Trust me, a man knows a good lady when he sees one. Most men knows how to treat a good woman, you constantly saying "I'm not one of those cheap girls" and so on doesn't make any difference, it only pushes the man away.

You might be saying "the genuine man" or "intentional man" will continue to pursue or apply pressure, my dear they will not.

And this is why most of you miss good men and then later in a hurry settle for men you may not like.

I've seen too many girls dodging potential and even men of substance and later settled for people way less than them.

Take my cousin for instance, the one man who was once genuinely interested in her, came with a big car.

He was big but she was young, beautiful and all "in the lord". She once said to people "he thinks I'll like him because of his cars"

When she started midnight prayers for marriage with fasting aggressively eh. It was not funny o.

Every prayer at midnight was filled with husband requests, how did I know this? Because she prayed loudly and everyone in the compound can hear it.

Who did she later settled for? A teacher! Way older than her.

Imagine a man probably at 45 years, with almost nothing going on for him.

See I'm not here to castigate anyone or to put anyone down or to pressure anyone.

As a lady, understand that relationship is not magical. It's not 'godly'.

I have another girl from my school. Then she was the girl every medical student wanted.

Being a good girl pays. Being a foōlish good girl trying to constantly prove a point will lead you no where.

This is also why brothers in deeper life often find it difficult to marry within the church.

I remember in one of the service the older pastor keep speaking on why brothers often go outside to marry while the sisters are 'good' and beautiful.

It's simply because these girls have become 'un-talk-to-able'.

You are a good observer and your points are very valid.
They may be beautiful, claim virginity but most often have attitudes issue and uncouth with their mouth in talking down on genuine and reasonable suitors trying to woo them. I have someone very close to me who exhibited all you mentioned above and more.

To be frank

They is a big difference between a church girl and a religious girl

As a lady, I have noticed this right from when I was 16 years.
I saw my beautiful religious Aunt who spend 99% of her time jumping from one church activities to another.
But she is currently 46 years and had never married in life till date, While my bigger cousin (42 years currently) who was a premium certified escort girl is married for almost 15 years with 4 children to a very rich man.

This is the definition of what we call in Nigeria , LIFE NO BALANCE

One thing I noticed about religious girls not church girl are
1. Majority are Hypocrites (pretenders)
2. They easily judge people (Holier than thou attitudes)
3. They have no ambition or drive in life (Only thing that drive them is to go to church activities)
4. They have no mind of their own (Their pastors can even choose the color of their underwear for them)
5. Anything that don't look religious to them is ungodly (Even swimming pool or watching sports looks ungodly to them)
6. The have one way thinking and mentality (They are not rational in reasoning)

I CAN GIVE 100 REASONS WHY WISE MEN AVOID THEM\

NOTE: Marry a church girl guys but not a religious girl

I am a certified, card carrying church girl


May God help us

Getting married is require more than being just a 'church' girl

This stereotype is not realistic.
How are bad girls getting married more than the good ones?

I remember when they invented this quote while I was still in the university.

Bad girls are bad girls,wether married or not.