₦airaland Forum

Date outside your race or nationality and see the difference. Even in Nigeria, there are women who go out of the norm. When you come across these, ignorant females will make your skin crawl.

Bendeco02:
Most women, even if they have millions they don't give.

True.
I find it awkward giving a man gifts till now .. I hardly give anything to my husband..
I just feel he is a man and will be fine

Lol this could not be truer but I think men need to speak out to be honest. Strong people need love and care too.

To think among the number of people who commit suicide yearly roughly 80% are men speaks volume. We are deserving of all the love that we attract in a world that strongly frowns on men to be vulnerable.

I just got my first leather jacket and no I didn't buy it. I demanded my woman buy it for me.

Story of my life...the first time I received a gift felt like I was visited by an angel

The most cherish gift I have so far is a fan I was given on my 28th birthday and I still dey keep am as my most treasured gift till date.

spiceadole:
True.
I find it awkward giving a man gifts till now .. I hardly give anything to my husband..
I just feel he is a man and will be fine

It's not actually a good.

Just Imagine it's the other way round and a husband publicly saying:
"I find it awkward spending money on my wife. I hardly buy her gifts."

Most people would immediately see a problem.
Questions would start flying.
"Does he love her?"
"Is he stingy?"
"Why is he not taking care of his wife?"
Yet when the situation is reversed, many people move on as though nothing unusual was said.
The issue is not really about gifts. The issue is about mindset.
The error is being raised to believe that giving flows naturally from men to women, but rarely from women to men. As a result, some women take it further by not expressing appreciation through gifts, financial generosity, or thoughtful gestures.

We are humans. Do it because you care not with the mindset of men not needing appreciation because they are the providers.

SixSeven:
What was it like back in the days? Care to describe?

The women didn't expect too much from men and could also share the little they had with men. That is the summary. Standards were different though, no human hair and stuffs, so getting a babe a snacks or food (no need to take out) was good enough.

elevated2:
The women didn't expect too much from men and could also share the little they had with men. That is the summary. Standards were different though, no human hair and stuffs, so getting a babe a snacks or food (no need to take out) was good enough.

Okay I see. I think people understood gender roles too. Material things have taken control over us that a woman would fall for you back then for your oratory than your money because....


https://www.tiktok.com/video/7203755082138209582

spiceadole:
True.
I find it awkward giving a man gifts till now .. I hardly give anything to my husband..
I just feel he is a man and will be fine

A prime example of why men feel lonely even in marriage. Most females are naturally selfish. I just hope you don't raise your daughters this way.

Omo, see how men still don't know that women know to give but that they are just keeping it like a secret weapon. Namaster, come and tell them.

elevated2:
The women didn't expect too much from men and could also share the little they had with men. That is the summary. Standards were different though, no human hair and stuffs, so getting a babe a snacks or food (no need to take out) was good enough.

That was in the good old days and men called women mum_ for it and used and dumped them. So now the woman are wise and now men are the m_m_

Ihebu4chelsea:
what sort of story is this?

He's trying to let you know that men are used to not receiving that merely receiving biscuits from a girl was worth remembering, even though he bought the biscuits.

Dpsychologist:
I tell you. Dude just made up waste our time reading that.

He didn't. You should remove the psychologist in your name if you didn't get his drift

.
.
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She got me a 15k headset for my birthday in 2016.

I pampered that headset until it finally succumbed in 2024 thanks to a female cousin that just likes going through my things. She has since relocated to Europe with her family but I still have the headset till today.

Never gotten anything from the f gender since then. Even my grandkids will hear this story.
.
.
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The first girl I dated was a white girl. That girl completely set the bar very high for other girls that came after her.

That girl is an epitome of a giver.

She can buy weekend trips and pay for hotel for us, all on her pocket. One day I mistakenly sat on an expensive headphones I bought, I almost cried that day.

Few days later, she bought a new one and surprised me. She practiced true feminism. She does to me the very thing she wants me to do to her.

The definition of a good man to her was not monetarily defined. Just have sense, be fine, speak well and be responsible. She liked me for me, not because of money (we were both broke students).

Thankfully, all the girls I’ve dated are giver. From day one if you request for transport, or I get a slight feeling that your interests in me are material calculations, I end it there.

Dtruthspeaker:
That was in the good old days and men called women mum_ for it and used and dumped them. So now the woman are wise and now men are the m_m_

Hehehe. Are the women want to give it back double?

Julibet:
A prime example of why men feel lonely even in marriage. Most females are naturally selfish. I just hope you don't raise your daughters this way.

too late. She's already doing that.

elevated2:
Hehehe. Are the women want to give it back double?

Dem don give men already wotowoto.. see how men are wailing about women na

Nigerian men's problem ...

Dpsychologist:
A recent discussion online in a relationship group exposed something many people rarely talk about.

Many men are so accustomed to spending money, planning dates, buying gifts, paying bills, and making sacrifices for women that the moment a woman does something thoughtful for them, it becomes a memory they never forget.

Think about that for a second.

A woman receives money and gifts regularly, and nobody thinks twice about it. A man receives a birthday gift from a woman once, and he remembers it for years.

One man said a woman once gifted him ₦30,000 on his birthday. The money itself was not life changing and probably could not even last long in his account, but years later he still remembers the gesture like it happened yesterday.

Another said no woman had ever taken him on a date before. His dream date was not a luxury restaurant or a five star hotel. He said a movie ticket and popcorn would have been enough to make his day.

Several others admitted that a simple suya date, shawarma outing, haircut appointment, shirt from a boutique, or even buying them a drink would genuinely make them happy.

Why?

This is because many men are raised with the belief that their value comes from what they can provide. Society expects them to spend, protect, solve problems, and carry burdens. Very few people ever ask what they need emotionally or financially .

Many women do not realize how uncommon it is for men to receive thoughtful gestures.

Some men have spent years paying for dates, buying gifts, settling bills, sending transport money, and showing up for people. Yet nobody has ever thought to do something similar for them.

This is why what may seem small to a woman can feel massive to a man.

The gift is rarely the point but the effort is. The money is rarely the point. The thought is. Many men are not starving for luxury. They are starving for appreciation.

Perhaps one of the most misunderstood truths about relationships is that men are often easier to impress than people think. Not because their standards are low, but because genuine acts of care directed towards them are surprisingly rare.

A lot of men are carrying memories of simple gestures because those moments reminded them of something they do not experience often which is, "what it feels like to be appreciated instead of expected"

Lols.

And here am I buying stuffs and gifts for my man he will not only refuse but get angry.

His last birthday I bought him a Fairly use PS5, because I didn't have enough to get him a new one that period.
He gave it out to his cousin and told me never to get him any gift again. That he is a man and I am his own responsibility to take care of,
not the other way round

MEN and their yeh yeh EGO eeehhh.

I wish I can screenshot some of the response here and send to him so that he can see how some men have never gotten
even a tooth pick from their wife or girlfriend.



May God help us

DickenClarq:
Lols.

And here am I buying stuffs and gifts for my man he will not only refuse but get angry.

His last birthday I bought him a Fairly use PS5, because I didn't have enough to get him a new one that period.
He gave it out to his cousin and told me never to get him any gift again. That he is a man and I am his own responsibility to take care of,
not the other way round

MEN and their yeh yeh EGO eeehhh.

I wish I can screenshot some of the response here and send to him so that he can see how some men have never gotten
even a tooth pick from their wife or girlfriend.



May God help us

no vex but na akpamu you dey date.

pansophist:
The first girl I dated was a white girl. That girl completely set the bar very high for other girls that came after her.

That girl is an epitome of a giver.

She can buy weekend trips and pay for hotel for us, all on her pocket. One day I mistakenly sat on an expensive headphones I bought, I almost cried that day.

Few days later, she bought a new one and surprised me. She practiced true feminism. She does to me the very thing she wants me to do to her.

The definition of a good man to her was not monetarily defined. Just have sense, be fine, speak well and be responsible. She liked me for me, not because of money (we were both broke students).

Thankfully, all the girls I’ve dated are giver. From day one if you request for transport, or I get a slight feeling that your interests in me are material calculations, I end it there.

Why didn't you marry her then? Why do you people do this. Don't you think this experiences break people. Do you think she will be able to give her best to the next man in her life?

Nah question I ask o.

CorrectionFLuid:
He's trying to let you know that men are used to not receiving that merely receiving biscuits from a girl was worth remembering, even though he bought the biscuits.

Thank you for explaining these to them. I didn't know I needed to explain, my bad for thinking everyone on this forum is smart.

True, very true.
But me I'm a different breed.
My girls dey give me money steady, joy wan wound me! Lol

She gave me her ATM card and said to me "My money is your money, everything I have is yours". The thing shock me mhen.

While it is true that I have helped her in the past by being there for her when no one was, I have zero attraction for her, but Omo, I'll end up marrying this girl. Her good qualities are topnotch. I'm indeed a very lucky Man

Pootle:
after that you guys fornicate ba

Yeah, but I wouldn't say fornicate, because that's sounds like it's a sin. We made love to make our bond stronger.

fattprince:
Thank you for explaining these to them. I didn't know I needed to explain, my bad for thinking everyone on this forum is smart.

weyre you no see my response ba. I just replied to thin air ba

dontrulee:
True, very true.
But me I'm a different breed.
My girls dey give me money steady, joy wan wound me! Lol

How!!!!

dontrulee:
She gave me her ATM card and said to me "My money is your money, everything I have is yours". The thing shock me mhen.

While it is true that I have helped her in the past by being there for her when no one was, I have zero attraction for her, but Omo, I'll end up marrying this girl. Her good qualities are topnotch. I'm indeed a very lucky Man

she still dey available? Drop her contact abeg.

What's this one saying?

fattprince:
One day I left my babe at home to collect phone. I left her with my siblings. But as it would happen I returned very late, and she was angry that she would not talk to me after I apologized and explained to her why I was late. I had to go outside to meet my sister to know if she had eaten, as I've eaten from where I went to collect the phone. I was told she hasn't eaten, I thought that's why she was angry so I went back to her to ask her what she would like to eat, she still didn't reply. But one of my sisters suggests I give her money to buy snacks for my babe, I gave her the money she went to buy the snacks. So I started trying to patronise my babe again but she just wouldn't talk. I was not feeling too well due to boil I had, then my sister came back and gave her the snack which she thanked her for on top say na me drop money o. As I saw she was not going to succumb, I left her lied down turning my back( as I was not feeling sick, I wanted to sleep then I know she wouldn't be angry by morning) but the way i turned my back she thought I was angry so she immediately pulled me back and ask if i was angry, i told her i wasn't that the boil is really inconveniencing me and i just want to sleep off. Next thing she did was offering me out of the snack (just two pack of that WAO cake) she cut out of it and put it in my mouth. I was so happy even though I bought it for her, and she offered me because she thought I haven't eaten and she heard when I told my sister all I had on me was #400 to buy the 2 snacks for her.

kimjessey2019:
What's this one saying?

Abeg we have moved on from there?