₦airaland Forum

No need reporting, because according to you and your brother, the woman is basically useless to him and her own family.

Best to do away with her (divorce) and know you're the one taking full responsibility of the kids.

You can't be taking full responsibilities of the kids and a jobless adult.
He has to choose one.

REPORTING TO SOCIAL WELFARE IS THE BEST DECISION ESPECIALLY WHEN CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED.
PLEASE COUPLES SHOULD BE CAREFUL IN THIS ECONOMIC BAD WEATHER. UNLESS MATRIMONIAL ABUSE, MEN/WOMEN SHOULD STOP THIS HABIT OF PUTING THEIR KIDS INTO PSYCHOLOGICAL STRESS.

SayAsSeen:
Very apt and wise comment. Please can you share the signs of a married man who the devil wants to destroy as well.

Same as the woman's own, his wife will be "the problem". Everything she does angers him, he will accuse her of all sorts, any mistakes from the past will be brought, twisted and magnified to 200%, when he runs out of legit resentment he will make up stuff, both men and women will start throwing around phrases such as "I diagnosed you with Narcissism/You abused me and the kids, you're terrible, nobody likes you!" etc

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

It depends on the country. Since they are together they might want to take the kids from them and give the kids to a family member/friend else another unknown foster family. If they were not together the man would likely get the custody of the children. The third scenario is they might want to help by giving a social worker rights to come in and give some advise. But social workers usually don't have the patience. Once they see no improvements they advise the kids to be taken away. They are usually not to be trusted.

Onegai:
That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

Wise and balanced counsel. You see that gender eh? Na only God can save men from them. I wish she could just walk away from the marriage and let our brother look after his children in peace. I tell you, it's hell to go through that experience.

gentlguruz:
I will advise him to involve the wife family in this before any other further steps so as to be clean from any other blame

That should be the first step. Her family and yours. But from personal experience, once devul takes possession of those EVE-lyns, it rarely gets better. May God help your brother and all men passing through the torment of wIKED women.

elevated2:
It depends on the country. Since they are together they might want to take the kids from them and give the kids to a family member/friend else another unknown foster family. If they were not together the man would likely get the custody of the children. The third scenario is they might want to help by giving a social worker rights to come in and give some advise. But social workers usually don't have the patience. Once they see no improvements they advise the kids to be taken away. They are usually not to be trusted.

Social workers? In Nigeria? It's like leaving a vulnerable child in the custody of Nigerian Police. Wahala dey.

Macm:
I would suggest he call his wife privately and talk to her calmly to know what the problem is. Releasing those kids to the man won't be easy though. May God help them to resolve their issues amicably.

Hahahaha. You think it's every human you can reason with right? You haven't met unreasonable devils before ni?

NaijaNaWaa:
Social workers? In Nigeria? It's like leaving a vulnerable child in the custody of Nigerian Police. Wahala dey.

Sorry then. No ideal from my side. Nigeria was not stated in the write-up.

Onegai:
That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

Perfect advice my brother, you are wonderful

You sabi the the update well. Just be the men and don't allow her sit on the right hand of the Lord. The place of your honour and dignity.

Onegai:
That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

If he has evidence that she is an irresponsible mum, he would win the case. Two of my friends have won such cases in court and guess what? The kids are females.
I would also point out that if the mum truly doesn't take care of the children now, she won't even argue the case in court because she already sees it as too stressful

osazsky:
How can u have custody of a 3 yr old child as a man ..our courts don't permit it except ur wife is indesposed or mentally not sound..oga continue with ur house boy work did u not date her before marriage did u not see that she is lazy before bedding her..some men sha where una for they see these lowlife or were u scared to go for classy women then

How do you know that?

Sir, you are talking about yourself and your wife here, not your brother. Something happened before this reaction from her; every action calls for a reaction. Abroad is not heaven or paradise. I am not a prophet, but I am gifted to know when someone is holding back the whole truth.You have made a mistake. Go and apologize before it is too late. Ask yourself, before Jehovah God, if what I am saying is true or not. Your children are yours, and she knows you can't do without them. Nairaland will not save you. Keep your head up and face reality. I don't usually comment on these situations, but you are looking for a solution that you can never find on Nairaland.Ask God for forgiveness, ask her for forgiveness, and promise her that what led to this will not happen again. You are fighting a prayer warrior. Pray with her and focus on your next journey in life. Finally, forgive yourself. You know what you did. You may think I know you, but I don't. This tells you how God works.

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

The problem of marriage starts from the first day of marriage ceremony

If a man refuse to show dominance out of uncontrolled love within first 3 months of marriage the woman will take charge and your problem starts from there until you wake up and command your woman

Woman must be commanded in a marriage in areas she neglect. The first time you notice command her with hard voice cos if you start with cool voice your problem has started and it will continue

Taking charge does not mean you don't show love. A good man understand that love and marriage must be managed equally to avoid this kind of nonsense stories

Kobicove:
What brought about this sudden change in attitude?

Did your brother just lose his source of income?

That is what I'm thinking, when a woman suddenly changed, there is something she is no more getting from the man

osazsky:
How can u have custody of a 3 yr old child as a man ..our courts don't permit it except ur wife is indesposed or mentally not sound..oga continue with ur house boy work did u not date her before marriage did u not see that she is lazy before bedding her..some men sha where una for they see these lowlife or were u scared to go for classy women then

After reading the thread this is your contribution ...it is indeed finished.

Would have been better not to have commented.

Your first paragraph isn't very correct, any parent can get custody of the children regardless of the sex of the children.

Onegai:
That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

in as much humanly i don't support divorce or separation in a family with children some women can drive men crazy, in this case the woman will also deny him s*x in a marriage

who says Court or welfare can't grant him custody to the children? he definitely will have access. Let your brother quietly be gathering evidence in print, audio and video i can assure you there's a man outside there convincing her based on infidelity and neglecting d children the Court will grant him custody and he must prove to always be in d same house with d children and have a blood sister or good person to take care of d children when not around.

the woman will regret big time they all do. she doesn't knw that the man bathing d children, feeding, taking them to school is making d children really close to d man

Jesuschild:
Your first paragraph isn't very correct, any parent can get custody of the children regardless of the sex of the children.

To everyone questioning my first paragraph:

But I said:

"Most (not all) Judges will not give custody to a single father over a single mother, especially if the child is female."

And also if the child is young.

The man has a 3 year old and a 6 year old and a 9 yr old, it is usually 11 or older that custody can go to the father. Or in Sharia court and again, it will be for boys rather than girls.

If the father is remarried and can prove he's a better parent, yes he can get custody.

Some times, when the Welfare Officer says one thing (after investigation) but the Judge rules otherwise (something fit happen).

The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.


So what's stopping hum from taking those steps.

As to your question with respect to the possible outcome, the marriage wld either wither off or the bond wld become renewed. 😊

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

Sure you saw my earlier opinion

Onegai:
To everyone questioning my first paragraph:

But I said:

"Most (not all) Judges will not give custody to a single father over a single mother, especially if the child is female."

And also if the child is young.

The man has a 3 year old and a 6 year old and a 9 yr old, it is usually 11 or older that custody can go to the father. Or in Sharia court and again, it will be for boys rather than girls.

If the father is remarried and can prove he's a better parent, yes he can get custody.

Some times, when the Welfare Officer says one thing (after investigation) but the Judge rules otherwise (because something fit happen behind closed doors).

I hope the closing part of your statement does not inadvertently give off the impression that you are casting aspersion on the court?.

Hussein035:
The problem of marriage starts from the first day of marriage ceremony

If a man refuse to show dominance out of uncontrolled love within first 3 months of marriage the woman will take charge and your problem starts from there until you wake up and command your woman

Woman must be commanded in a marriage in areas she neglect. The first time you notice command her with hard voice cos if you start with cool voice your problem has started and it will continue

Taking charge does not mean you don't show love. A good man understand that love and marriage must be managed equally to avoid this kind of nonsense stories

Reading this your perspective brought involuntary smile across my face. If I may ask, are you married?. If yes, for how long?.

peacenow:
Sir, you are talking about yourself and your wife here, not your brother. Something happened before this reaction from her; every action calls for a reaction. Abroad is not heaven or paradise. I am not a prophet, but I am gifted to know when someone is holding back the whole truth.You have made a mistake. Go and apologize before it is too late. Ask yourself, before Jehovah God, if what I am saying is true or not. Your children are yours, and she knows you can't do without them. Nairaland will not save you. Keep your head up and face reality. I don't usually comment on these situations, but you are looking for a solution that you can never find on Nairaland.Ask God for forgiveness, ask her for forgiveness, and promise her that what led to this will not happen again. You are fighting a prayer warrior. Pray with her and focus on your next journey in life. Finally, forgive yourself. You know what you did. You may think I know you, but I don't. This tells you how God works.

@gentlesil, what's your reaction to this post by oeacenow

Danzuba:
REPORTING TO SOCIAL WELFARE IS THE BEST DECISION ESPECIALLY WHEN CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED.
PLEASE COUPLES SHOULD BE CAREFUL IN THIS ECONOMIC BAD WEATHER. UNLESS MATRIMONIAL ABUSE, MEN/WOMEN SHOULD STOP THIS HABIT OF PUTING THEIR KIDS INTO PSYCHOLOGICAL STRESS.

👍

Onegai:
Same as the woman's own, his wife will be "the problem". Everything she does angers him, he will accuse her of all sorts, any mistakes from the past will be brought, twisted and magnified to 200%, when he runs out of legit resentment he will make up stuff, both men and women will start throwing around phrases such as "I diagnosed you with Narcissism/You abused me and the kids, you're terrible, nobody likes you!" etc

Thank you very much.

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

See how concerned and passionate you are about your brother's marital happiness. If it were a Yul Edochie or Tuface you would have quickly switched to women-support-women mode and start bringing up postulations that are at best immaginary. This confirms the theory that women always have two sets of contrasting opinion or advice on every issue - the one they advance depends on who is the subject of the matter meqns to them. Very funny