₦airaland Forum

Many single men are beginning to share a similar frustration about today's dating culture. Their complaint is not about spending money on someone they genuinely like. It is about being treated like an ATM before any real connection has even started.

One common mistake many people make is rushing into a physical date after only exchanging a few messages. A phone or video conversation can reveal a lot. If the conversation has no chemistry, no curiosity, and no genuine interest while both people are still strangers, meeting in person rarely changes that.

Many men have shared experiences where they paid transport fares, restaurant bills, or entertainment costs, only for the date to end within minutes because the other person appeared distracted or completely uninterested. In some cases, the next message they received was not appreciation or a second date, but a request for money for food, upkeep, rent, school fees, or other personal expenses.

This is where many people draw the line.

There is nothing wrong with generosity in a healthy relationship. Relationships naturally involve giving, supporting, and sacrificing for each other. The problem begins when financial expectations appear before trust, affection, and commitment have had any chance to develop.

Many women also complain about men who only want casual relationships or refuse to invest emotionally. Healthy dating requires effort from both sides. Interest, respect, communication, and intentionality cannot be replaced with money.

The best first dates are usually the ones where both people leave thinking, "I would like to see this person again," not, "How much did I spend?" or "How much can I get from this person?"

Real relationships are built on mutual interest, shared values, and genuine companionship. Money may support a relationship, but it cannot create one.

What has been your experience with modern dating? Do you think financial expectations are ruining genuine connections, or are people simply adapting to today's economic realities?

The only thing I'm paying for in first date is just drinks (water or softs), I will never feed you on first date.

First date is to know each other, first date is not to know if you're hungry from home.

The attitude you display on first date will guarantee if you're coming back for the second date.

But majority of modern ladies fails woefully during first date.

Only thirsty nighas who don't know themselves proceeds with ladies that displays their hungry nature on first date.

:::


Men spoiled and encouraged women to be that way by trying to buy love and attention.


The women only took it to the next level. Talk about giving someone a yard and they took a mile.

Now the men turn around and are complaining about what they started.


Never start what you can't finish!

.
.
.
Na una dey do date for Africa. Indoctrinated souls.
.
.
.

Na who wan pay dey pay . Seun na payee

dating in the west or America is like buying mansion but dating in Nigeria is like paying monthly house rent with no water in the compound

Hungry and poor women are everywhere. Run from them

Nigeriigirls you mean

Cos here,a date is none of the description(s) in the context

What did you expect when there is hunger There is hunger in the land?

Na the man mumu na, dem go learn

Kalatium:
Many single men are beginning to share a similar frustration about today's dating culture. Their complaint is not about spending money on someone they genuinely like. It is about being treated like an ATM before any real connection has even started.

One common mistake many people make is rushing into a physical date after only exchanging a few messages. A phone or video conversation can reveal a lot. If the conversation has no chemistry, no curiosity, and no genuine interest while both people are still strangers, meeting in person rarely changes that.

Many men have shared experiences where they paid transport fares, restaurant bills, or entertainment costs, only for the date to end within minutes because the other person appeared distracted or completely uninterested. In some cases, the next message they received was not appreciation or a second date, but a request for money for food, upkeep, rent, school fees, or other personal expenses.

This is where many people draw the line.

There is nothing wrong with generosity in a healthy relationship. Relationships naturally involve giving, supporting, and sacrificing for each other. The problem begins when financial expectations appear before trust, affection, and commitment have had any chance to develop.

Many women also complain about men who only want casual relationships or refuse to invest emotionally. Healthy dating requires effort from both sides. Interest, respect, communication, and intentionality cannot be replaced with money.

The best first dates are usually the ones where both people leave thinking, "I would like to see this person again," not, "How much did I spend?" or "How much can I get from this person?"

Real relationships are built on mutual interest, shared values, and genuine companionship. Money may support a relationship, but it cannot create one.

What has been your experience with modern dating? Do you think financial expectations are ruining genuine connections, or are people simply adapting to today's economic realities?

Date ke? Come to my house straight if you dey serious. Let me examine you

I have a date next Sunday.

I initiated the date.

I won't spend more than 5k on her.

E get as we dey run am.

The highest i will give her is flying fish or bottled water. While I sip my big stout with JEKOMO .

Men behave like mumu during date.[she may even be the one to pay as I will claim my account is having issue at that point in time] most girls come prepared on the first date so they keep some funds handy.

Once we get to the location, I will blunty tell her that she ought to have cooked sunday rice and eaten before coming out.

And we will run it in the morning on sunday when people never return from church. So that the place will still be scanty.

If I see that she's getting down with me, I will quickly book short time room and tell her we should go discuss something more private and the rest will be history.

it is a good test. a man should prrove that he can sustain a woman.

A good man is eager to keep his woman happy and stress-free

Gone are those good days we meet at public water, settle one smalle to go call your baby to meet u under fruit tree./u whispered and she understand . No Mr bigg,sweet sensation, chicken REP, etc of nowadays

it is a good test. a man should prrove that he can sustain a woman

A good man is eager to keep his woman happy and stress-free

First date or Last Date,

I will not blame any woman. She has no fault in this because many guys actually lack sense of self value and they think the way to getting a serious relationship is by flashing money over and over again.

if you allow woman use your head for you, she go turn am to mop.

Really some people often see the red flags from day one when conversation begins or some days later but are not sensitive to them or ignore them because they are overwhelmed with emotions and inordinate passions.

Maisiba:
it is a good test. a man should prrove that he can sustain a woman.

A good man is eager to keep his woman happy and stress-free

I agree with the boldened. Even a potential Father-in-law at the first meeting will ask you what you do for a living.

However, what I do not subscribe to is looking for a man that will be turned into an ATM.
Imagine a case where you're being billed for date transport or date clothes. Some might even want to size you up with saying "I spend xyz monthly to maintain my hair/body". I have never heard of a man billing a date for transport or asking for money to cut his hair.

The signs are always there. Date wighin your financial bracket else you would feel mad when the billings start coming in from those that can't afford to take care of themselves or those that feel your money is simply there for them to consume while theirs is simply theirs.

When you guys stop putting girls, who are not your daughter or family members on ur payroll, relationship would back to normal as it was in the olden days

Ladies only want money these days and men only want to knack. Everything is now transactional. So, pay for it of you can afford. When you are fully satisfied with what she's offering or you can no longer afford her charges, let her go. Move on to the next transaction.

altteemy:
I agree with the boldened. Even a potential Father-in-law at the first meeting will ask you what you do for a living.

However, what I do not subscribe to is looking for a man that will be turned into an ATM.
Imagine a case where you're being billed for date transport or date clothes. Some might even want to size you up with saying "I spend xyz monthly to maintain my hair/body". I have never heard of a man billing a date for transport or asking for money to cut his hair.

The signs are always there. Date wighin your financial bracket else you would feel mad when the billings start coming in from those that can't afford to take care of themselves or those that feel your money is simply there for them to consume while theirs is simply theirs.

Transport fare is a blood red flag. Anyone who will not take care of their transportation to date should be discarded. Only do it out of generosity, never on request!!! Once she puts it forward, cancel immediately! She is a freeloader!

altteemy:
I agree with the boldened. Even a potential Father-in-law at the first meeting will ask you what you do for a living.

However, what I do not subscribe to is looking for a man that will be turned into an ATM.
Imagine a case where you're being billed for date transport or date clothes. Some might even want to size you up with saying "I spend xyz monthly to maintain my hair/body". I have never heard of a man billing a date for transport or asking for money to cut his hair.

The signs are always there. Date wighin your financial bracket else you would feel mad when the billings start coming in from those that can't afford to take care of themselves or those that feel your money is simply there for them to consume while theirs is simply theirs.

Na that date clothes dey vex me

Azazyel:
Date ke? Come to my house straight if you dey serious. Let me examine you

If Uno dey come mk u shift...

Maisiba:
it is a good test. a man should prrove that he can sustain a woman.

A good man is eager to keep his woman happy and stress-free

So what should woman do to prove she can sustain a man? Why should it be one sided?

Stop looking for commitment and companionship. Don't be a wuss and get all up in your feelings and all that mushy stuff. Leave that for the woman. Be a man. Stop it!

Be explicit, upfront. You want sex, she obviously wants your money. Make a deal, everyone gets what they want and everyone goes home happy No one gets hurt and played. Easy!!

If you wanna meet up again, then fine, but on explicit consensual terms and everyone is clear on what they're getting in for.

All these buy these, pay that, dates, dinner, bla bla bla is only gonna get you played hard and you'd end up resenting and talking shit about people

NOTHING LIKE DATING OR FIRST DATE .

YOU ARE MEETING TO HAVE SEX .SIMPLE .
GET IT DONE ,SETTLE HER ,LET HE EAT WHATEVER SHE LIKES WITH THE MONEY YOU GAVE HER .IF YOU WANT TO GIST .U CAN DO MORE OF THAT AFTER SEX .

SHE SHOULD EAT IN HER HOUSE, DRINK ANYTHING SHE LIKES BEFORE SHE COMES TO U

Don't send Any Lady Tfare.
If she wants to Come ,Tell her to Come you Pay her the Tfare when She Comes .

Don't Pay for her Hair Fixing

Don't Take her to Eatery

Don't Pay for her Birthday Party

Don't Pay her School Fees .

Don't Buy Phone for Her

Don't Pay her Hospital Bills

Don't Pay her House Rent .

Don't Buy her Shoes ,Cloths ,Perfume

Don't Send her any Money

Don't Give her Feeding Money .

Broke guy talks like this ..It's Amazingly fine .

Stop being Influenced,induced or blackmailed emotionally .Her Private part is not Hold ,Don't be Trapped .Nothing is Special about her Pussy ,Sex is one of the cheapest thing now ,There are Several ladies that is interested in Guy ,Let's Have sex ,I will satisfy you ,No stupid love attached let's Enjoy ourselves,You pay me I go my way

It's interesting that someone is finally writing about this ugly phenomenon

The new culture now is "do data for me" before she allows the talking stage to move to next level

Funny but true. Dating is no longer what it used to be

Nigerian girls believe love should start in a restaurant over a plate of food which they don't have to pay for.

Because na you love them, no be them love you.

And the můmů Nigerian guys agreed to this. Na them dey even carry am for head all for a crumb of pvssy wey she dey give aboki wey dry sell fried indomie and egg

"I'm no fool, I know money can't buy me love".

50 Cent ft Olivia
Bestfriend

MaziObinnaokija:
Gone are those good days we meet at public water, settle one smalle to go call your baby to meet u under fruit tree./u whispered and she understand . No Mr bigg,sweet sensation, chicken REP, etc of nowadays

When men were boys and ladies were girls, no stress, to date go dey hungry u then. But now, we hv Jezebel, daughters of delilah, daughters of eve parading themselves as humans, but evil at heart