₦airaland Forum

Nairalanders, abeg, make una park well and read this. No be for weak minds.

Look around you. Single mothers are multiplying like mice. The streets are flooded with desperate ladies pushing prams, crying for child support from men who have vanished into thin air. The so-called "eligible bachelors" are disappearing—either they don hit "Japa" to Canada, or dem dey suffer poverty wey no fit pay bride price.

Yet, in the middle of this national disaster, married women are busy doing the most foolish thing on earth: fighting shadows. Tracking husband's location. Screaming at side chicks on Instagram. Crying to pastors about "spiritual husbands."

Wife, wake up! The math is simple. Too many women. Too few men. Your husband is a scarce resource. And instead of letting a strange, disease-carrying "side chick" from the club eat your husband's money, why not bring in your FELLOW WOMAN?

And before you shout, "Ah, my sister?"—hear me well.

When I say "sister," I no mean only your blood from your mama's womb. I mean your fellow lady. Your bestie. Your church sister. Your office colleague. Your childhood friend. If biological sister fit enter, na plus-plus. But the main thing na this: Bring a woman you know, a woman you can control, a woman who will respect you—instead of letting your husband pick a random street rat you know nothing about.

1. The "Side Chick" Outside is a Terrorist; The "Sister" Inside is an Ally
Let's be real. Most men will cheat. Whether you like it or not, na fact. But here is the difference:

Random Side Chick: You don't know her village. You don't know her family. She carry HIV? She carry curse? She dey plan to kill you for inheritance? You no know! She will disrespect you, call you "old cargo," and try to take over your matrimonial home.

Your Fellow Woman (Friend/Sister): You know her family. You know her secrets. She will look at you as the Senior Wife. She cannot disrespect you because you can easily call her mother or expose her dirty linen. She answers to you. If she tries to play smart, you know exactly where she lives!

A wife with sense invites her fellow woman inside. A foolish wife fights strangers outside and loses everything.

2. We Have a SURPLUS WOMAN CRISIS – Stop Hoarding Your Husband!
Let's check the statistics, my people. For every one stable, employed, sane man wey dey ready to marry, there are at least five single ladies waiting.

Because of this "one man, one woman" Western nonsense wey we copy, millions of our women are now single mothers, struggling to feed their children, doing "runs" just to survive. Some are even sleeping with married men for small change—which brings us back to the side chick problem!

Instead of judging them, SAVE them. Look at your WhatsApp contacts right now. How many single ladies dey there crying for man? How many of your friends don turn single mother? Why not bring one of them into your home?

If every financially capable wife in Nigeria decides to bring in just one fellow woman (friend or sister) into her home, we will cut the single mother population by 50% in one generation! The streets will be cleaner. Fatherless children will reduce. You are not just helping yourself; you are helping the nation!

3. Why Your Fellow Woman is Better Than Any Other Stranger
Some of you will say, "But she's not my biological sister, what if she steals my husband?"

Abeg, which one be biological? Is your biological sister not a woman too? The same blood flow. The only difference is you grew up with her. But guess what? Your bestie wey you don know for 10 years, wey you don share secrets with, wey you don weep with—she is your sister in spirit!

The point is ACCOUNTABILITY.

She is a known quantity.

You know her character.

You know her family background.

She will respect your children.

She cannot easily carry your husband's money run away because you know where she comes from.

Compare that to a strange side chick your husband picked up at a bar. That one fit poison you, collect your property, and disappear with your husband's SUV. Which one you choose?

4. Stop the "My Husband Alone" Pride – It is Destroying Our Society
I know the feminists and the "born-again" Christian wives are already sharpening their knives. "Over my dead body!" "I will not share my husband!"

Madam, calm down. Let me ask you a bitter question: Is your husband truly staying faithful now? If you check his phone today, are you sure you won't find a secret chat? If you are honest with yourself, you know the answer is NO.

So, what is the difference?

Option A: He hides, lies, spends money on strange women, comes home with diseases, and abandons you emotionally.

Option B: You bring in a fellow woman you trust. He stays HOME because his needs are met under YOUR roof. He spends his money on YOUR friend/sister's children instead of wasting it in hotels. The family wealth stays within your circle.

Your pride is not worth your fellow woman's suffering. Your jealousy is not worth your husband sneaking around with a devil you don't know.

5. This is Not New – Our Ancestors Knew Better
Our great-grandfathers did this. They married multiple wives, and guess what? The wives usually brought in their friends or younger relatives. The family grew strong. The wealth stayed in the family. The children were raised by a community.

But today, we copied this Western "monogamy or nothing" model, and look at the result: High divorce rates. Broken homes. Single mothers crying on TikTok. Men running away from marriage like their lives depend on it.

We need to go back to what works. A man with a financially capable home and a harmonious compound of wives (your fellow women) is a happy man. A happy man does not go outside. A happy man provides more. A happy man builds generational wealth.

6. To the Single Ladies Reading This
Stop praying for a "billionaire bachelor" wey no dey exist. Stop dating "Yahoo boys" wey go use you run. Start looking at your married friends. If you see a sister with a good, hardworking husband, humble yourself. Approach her. Tell her, "Sister, carry me go your house. I will respect you. I will help you with the children. I will not fight you."

There is no shame in being a second wife in a structured, loving home. The shame is becoming a single mother on the streets doing "runs" just to survive. The shame is your children not knowing their father's name.

7. A Final Warning to the Husband
And to the men reading this—if your wife brings you a fellow woman (her friend or sister), DO NOT MALTREAT THE FIRST WIFE. Do not abandon her. Do not sleep in the new wife's room every night. Treat them with fairness. Build separate houses if you can. If you cannot afford two, don't collect two. Be a man of integrity inside this arrangement.

OVER TO YOU, NAIRALAND
Let the cries, insults, and heavy debates begin!

To the wives: Will you swallow your pride and bring a fellow woman (friend/sister) to your husband to save her from the streets? Or will you keep fighting shadow side chicks until you destroy your own home?

To the single ladies: Are you ready to humble yourself and join your fellow sister's home, or you prefer to keep suffering alone with your "my own husband" fantasy?

Drop your comments. Let's fight! But remember—the single mothers are increasing, the men are decreasing. We need practical solutions, not emotional crying. Oya, make we hear word!

Moderators: This is a solution-based socio-economic discourse addressing Nigeria's rising single-mother crisis. Please allow robust debate.

So in your own judgement bringing in a woman she knows is safer than a random woman shebi?

Stop pretending you don't know the wickedness in the heart of humans.

Bahamas95:
So in your own judgement bringing in a woman she knows is safer than a random woman shebi?

Stop pretending you don't know the wickedness in the heart of humans.

My dear, you just dropped a BOMB. And you are absolutely right!

I no be small boy. I know human beings are wired for wickedness. Even your own biological sister fit turn around and sleep with your husband behind your back while smiling in your face. I no dey pretend. The heart of man (and woman) is desperately wicked—who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9, abi?

But here is where your logic dey leak like basket. Let's do risk assessment, not naivety.

You are comparing "known wickedness" to "unknown wickedness." Let me break it down for you like you are five:

Scenario A (The Random Side Chick):
She is a GHOST. You know nothing about her.

Does she have HIV? You don't know.

Is she a ritualist sent to suck your husband's blood? You don't know.

Does she have a violent boyfriend who will come and burn your house down? You don't know.

Where are her parents? You don't know.
She can ghost your husband after collecting him 5 million Naira. She can put a curse on your children. She has ZERO accountability because nobody knows her village.

Scenario B (The Fellow Woman You Know – Friend/Cousin/Bestie):

You know her family house in the village.

You know her parents.

You know her secrets (the abortion she had in 2018, the man who used her in UNIBEN, the debt she is still paying).

If she tries to play wicked, YOU HAVE LEVERAGE. You can call her mother and disgrace her. You can go to her pastor. You can expose her if she steps out of line.

Now tell me, which one is safer?

"But she can still be wicked!"

Yes! And a driver can still have an accident, but you will still choose a driver with a valid license over a madman who just jumped out from the bush, abi?

Marriage itself is a risk. Living is a risk. But as a wise woman, you REDUCE the risk. You don't eliminate it completely—no one can eliminate human wickedness.

The question is not, "Will she be wicked?"
The question is, "If she turns wicked, can I fight her?"

With the random side chick, you are fighting a phantom. You cannot find her. She has no address. She will sleep with your husband, collect his money, and disappear into the Lagos traffic. You go dey cry for nothing.

With the woman you know, if she tries nonsense, you will call a family meeting. You will embarrass her in church. You will tell her siblings. You will cut off her supply. She has everything to lose—her reputation, her family name, her friendship with you.

The random side chick has NOTHING to lose. That makes her 10 times more dangerous.

Final word to you:

Stop pretending that "all wickedness is equal." It is not.
A known devil is ALWAYS better than an unknown angel. At least with the known devil, you know which demon to cast out. The unknown angel might be a witch in disguise.

So yes, bringing a woman she knows IS safer. Not perfect. Not without risk. But SAFER.

If you still doubt, go and ask any police officer—when there is a crime, they look for people with motive and connection. They don't look for random strangers. Because the person who knows you is easier to catch than the person who doesn't.

God Abeg. Pushing for polygamy in 2026??

Nigerian Men that can barely feed themselves.

The only thing you lots want to do is marry multiple wives and have children you cannot take care of.

Because you carry tiny Biro cover for waist, you think you have what it takes to handle polygamy?

God forbid 🖐️

Devonelle:
God Abeg. Pushing for polygamy in 2026??

Nigerian Men that can barely feed themselves.

The only thing you lots want to do is marry multiple wives and have children you cannot take care of.

Because you carry tiny Biro cover for waist, you think you have what it takes to handle polygamy?

God forbid 🖐️

See this one o! You just woke up and chose violence! 😂😂😂

But before I wipe this tears of laughter from my eyes, let me address your points one by one. Because clearly, you read my post with your village people's glasses on.

1. "Nigerian Men That Can Barely Feed Themselves"
Ah, my dear, you just exposed yourself as someone who didn't read my original post properly.

Go back and check. I clearly said: "This solution is ONLY for men who are financially buoyant." I no send broke men. If a man cannot feed himself, he has no business taking one wife, let alone two.

But since you brought it up—if Nigerian men are so broke, why are there still millions of single mothers? If men are broke, they are not marrying anyone. So the single ladies remain on the streets. Abi you want them to keep suffering while the few capable men are hoarded by jealous wives?

Your argument is like saying, "There is no food in the market, so nobody should eat." Make it make sense!

2. "Tiny Biro Cover for Waist" – Omo, You Dey Try! 😂
This one nearly finished me. But let me school you small.

If a man has a "tiny Biro" as you claim, why would he want two wives? Na to die of exhaustion? Abeg, a man with small equipment will run away from polygamy, not run toward it. Na the man with "stamina" and "capacity" wey dey consider this arrangement.

And let me ask you—how do you know about tiny Biro? You don turn inspector of men's waists? Abi you don see am for yourself? 🤣 Leave that one jare. The size of a man's Biro does not determine whether he can feed a family. Na brain and hard work dey feed people, not waist size. If na waist size dey pay bills, all the "Yahoo boys" with big Biros for club would be billionaires.

3. "Marry Multiple Wives and Have Children You Cannot Take Care Of"
This is where your argument really collapses like a pack of cards.

The whole point of bringing in a fellow woman is to REDUCE the number of fatherless children on the street!

Right now, single mothers are having children OUTSIDE marriage with broke men who run away. Those children are suffering. Nobody is taking care of them.

If a capable, stable man takes in a fellow woman (who is already struggling), he gives her children a father, a roof, and a future. Instead of her kids becoming area boys and runs girls, they grow up in a structured home.

You are angry about children who are not taken care of, yet you are fighting the very solution that puts them under a responsible man's roof? Wahala for who get brain but refuses to use am.

4. "God Forbid 🖐️"
Ah, the classic "God forbid."

My dear, the same God you are calling to forbid this arrangement is the same God who gave Jacob two wives and two concubines. The same God who blessed Abraham with multiple women. The same God who never once condemned polygamy in the Old Testament.

The only thing God forbids is HYPOCRISY. He forbids a man pretending to be a "one-woman man" while secretly sleeping with side chicks in hotels. He forbids children crying for fathers who abandoned them. He forbids single mothers doing "runs" just to survive.

If God forbid polygamy in 2026, then tell me—why are the churches full of married men with secret girlfriends? At least my solution is TRANSPARENT, HONEST, and STRUCTURED.

5. "2026?? cheesy cheesy"
Yes, 2026! Because in 2026:

The divorce rate is higher than ever.

The Japa syndrome has drained the country of good men.

The cost of living is choking everyone.

Single mothers are crying on TikTok every day.

So if not now, when? In 2030 when the single mother population has doubled?

Stop pretending that 2026 is too "modern" for practical solutions. The West is already legalizing polyamory, open marriages, and all sorts of arrangements. At least our traditional African polygamy has rules, respect, and family structures.

Final Word to You
You came with insults, "tiny Biro," and emotional outbursts, but you forgot to bring a SOLUTION.

So let me ask you directly:

What is YOUR solution for all the single ladies and single mothers in 2026?

Should they keep suffering? Should they keep waiting for a "billionaire bachelor" that does not exist? Should they keep getting pregnant by broke men who will run away?

If you have a better answer, drop it. If all you have is "God forbid" and jokes about men's waists, then park well and let the adults discuss.

Oya, bring your solution! I dey wait. 👇🏾

Janadozz:
See this one o! You just woke up and chose violence! 😂😂😂

I don’t argue with people who do copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Type out your points exactly as it is in your Head, only then can we discuss.

Devonelle:
I don’t argue with people who do copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Type out your points exactly as it is in your Head, only then can we discuss.

See this one o!

My dear, you don finish me. ChatGPT? Abeg, make we rest. If I type my points with my own fingers, you go still say na AI. If I talk in Yoruba, you go say na Google Translate. If I use Pidgin, you go say na predictive text. Make up your mind!

But since you want the raw, unedited, village-square version of my thoughts—here it is, straight from my head, no filter, no grammar check, no assistant.

Let Me Break It Down for You Like You Are 5
First of all, I no be bot. I be human being wey wake up this morning, drink garri, and decide to say the truth wey many of you are too scared to say. Na my brain produce that post, whether you believe am or not.

Now, let me address your real issue. You are not angry about ChatGPT. You are angry because the TRUTH inside the post pricked your conscience. If the post was nonsense, you would have ignored it. But because it hit a nerve, you are now attacking the MESSENGER instead of the MESSAGE. Classic deflection!

Now, Let Me Type It Exactly As It Is In My Head—No Sugarcoat
Point 1: The streets are full of single mothers

Walk through any market in Lagos, Port Harcourt, or Abuja. Look at the number of young women pushing prams with no husband in sight. Look at the number of women doing "runs" just to feed their children. Look at the number of fatherless children roaming the streets.

Who will save them?

The government? No.
The church? They are busy collecting offerings.
The NGOs? They are busy taking pictures for Instagram.

The only people who can save them are US—the families, the communities, the married women with stable homes.

Point 2: There are not enough men to go around

Let's do simple arithmetic.

Men are dying younger than women.

Men are relocating abroad (Japa) in droves.

Men are refusing to marry because bride price is too high and divorce laws are punishing.

So if there are 10 single ladies and only 3 marriage-ready men, what happens to the other 7?

Option A: They become side chicks to married men.

Option B: They become single mothers.

Option C: They end up in "runs" and prostitution.

Option D: They join a stable, structured home as a second wife.

Which one is better? Tell me!

Point 3: Wives are fighting a losing battle

Every wife knows—deep down in her heart—that her husband is not 100% faithful. Check his phone today. Check his WhatsApp. Check his call logs. You will find something.

So instead of fighting shadows and crying every night, why not control the narrative?

If you bring in a fellow woman you know and trust, you:

Stop strange women from entering your home.

Stop diseases from coming into your marriage.

Stop your husband from wasting money in hotels.

Give a struggling sister a roof over her head.

Keep your family wealth within YOUR circle.

Tell me where the logic is wrong.

Point 4: Nobody is forcing broke men

This is important. I am not telling a man who cannot feed himself to take a second wife. That is madness.

I am talking to:

Men who are financially stable but cheating secretly.

Men who have the capacity but are wasting resources outside.

Wives who have friends/sisters suffering while they are comfortable.

If the man is broke, he should not even marry ONE wife. He should go and hustle first. So stop bringing up "broke men" as if that is my argument. Read before you type!

Point 5: The West is failing, why are we copying them?

Our ancestors understood something we have forgotten: marriage is a community project, not a lonely prison.

In traditional Africa, polygamy was not about "sex madness." It was about:

Taking care of widows.

Taking care of single women.

Building large families.

Spreading wealth within the family.

The West came with their "one man, one woman" model, and look at them now:

50% divorce rate.

Children growing up in broken homes.

Women dying alone with cats.

Open marriages and polyamory becoming legal.

So why are we copying a failing system? Make it make sense!

Now, to Your Excuses
You said "Nigerian men can barely feed themselves."

If that is true, then why are there side chicks everywhere? Why are men spending money in hotels? Why are men paying for "hookups"? If they cannot feed themselves, where is the money coming from?

The truth is: some men have money, but they are wasting it on strange women. My proposal redirects that money to a known woman who respects the first wife. It is ECONOMICS, not emotion.

You said "Tiny Biro cover for waist."

This one is just insults. But let me tell you—no woman has ever died because of a "tiny Biro." Women die because of poverty, abandonment, and lack of support. Give a woman a stable home and a responsible man, and she will be happy. The size of the Biro is between him and God. Mind your business!

You said "God forbid."

God forbid what? God forbid a woman having a roof over her head? God forbid a child knowing his father? God forbid a man being responsible for more than one family?

If God forbid those things, then God must also forbid the current situation where:

Millions of children don't know their fathers.

Thousands of women are sleeping with married men secretly.

The streets are full of abandoned babies.

So which one is worse—a structured polygamous home or a chaotic, secret-filled, fatherless society?

Final Word to You
Madam, stop hiding behind "ChatGPT" and "copy and paste." Nobody sent you a bot. Na real human being wey get brain and eyes dey talk to you.

Now, I have typed exactly what is in my head. No assistance. No AI. Just pure, uncut, village-market logic.

Now answer me directly:

What is YOUR solution for the millions of single mothers?

What is YOUR solution for the shortage of marriageable men?

If a man is going to cheat anyway (and we know many will), would you rather he cheats with a stranger or with a woman you know and can control?

No more excuses. No more "God forbid." No more "tiny Biro." Just simple answers.

Oya, I dey wait. Defend your position.

Mr Janadozz despite you having a point in this epistle of yours, I doubt you have a job at hand right now, except you are a writer. Because I wonder how you have all the time in the world to type and reply Devonelle.

sorosoke101:
Mr Janadozz despite you having a point in this epistle of yours, I doubt you have a job at hand right now, except you are a writer. Because I wonder how you have all the time in the world to type and reply Devonelle.

The Real Issue is Still Waiting
Since you are so concerned about my time, let me remind you what this thread is actually about:

The surplus of single mothers.

The shortage of marriageable men.

How wives can help struggling fellow women.

The failure of the current "one man, one woman" model.

You have contributed NOTHING to this discussion.

No solution. No counter-argument. No meaningful input.

Just: "Do you have a job?"

Oga/madam, if you have nothing to add to the topic, you can quietly exit. No one will miss you. 😊

The Funny Thing Is...
If I had typed a short, lazy reply, you would say: "See this man, he has nothing to say."

But because I typed a detailed, well-reasoned response, you are now saying: "See this man, he has too much time."

So which one do you want? Short or long? Shallow or deep? Empty or meaningful?

Make up your mind before you come for me next time. 🤣

Final Word
My dear random commenter, I appreciate your concern for my employment status. But rest assured, I am doing very well. No wahala.

Now, if you have something to say about the actual topic—the single mothers, the shortage of men, the solution I proposed—I am all ears.

But if all you have is "do you have a job?" then respectfully, park well. The adults are discussing.

Oya, bring your contribution or bring your exit. I dey wait. 👇🏾

Janadozz:
Oya, I dey wait. Defend your position.

Mr Polygamist… is this how you want to be quoting ChatGPT for your Wives and battalion of Children?

Why did the biro cover part trigger you?
Well, If the shoes fit

I wish you well in your polygamy. Bye

Devil, is that you cooking?

voortrekker966:
Devil, is that you cooking?

Wahala dey o!

See this one o! So because I am saying the truth that nobody wants to hear, I have now become the devil? Abeg, make we rest. If the devil is cooking, then the devil must be a very good chef because this meal is making a lot of sense!

Let Me Ask You Something
If I am the devil for suggesting that wives should bring in struggling fellow women, then what do you call:

The men who secretly cheat on their wives?
The women who secretly sleep with married men?
The single mothers abandoned by the fathers of their children?
The children growing up without knowing their father's name?
The pastors who preach "one man, one wife" while having three girlfriends?

If I am the devil, then who are these people? Because my suggestion is at least HONEST and TRANSPARENT. Theirs is hidden, secret, and destructive.

The devil is the one who:

Promotes LIES and DECEPTION. ✅ That is what happens when men hide side chicks.
Promotes BROKEN HOMES. ✅ That is what happens when fathers abandon children.
Promotes LUST and DESTRUCTION. ✅ That is what happens when women do "runs" just to survive.
Promotes SECRETS and SHAME. ✅ That is what happens when wives cry in silence.

My proposal is the OPPOSITE of all that.

I am promoting:

HONESTY instead of secrets. ✅
COMMUNITY instead of isolation. ✅
STABILITY instead of chaos. ✅
FAMILY instead of abandonment. ✅
STRUGGLING WOMEN having a roof instead of the streets. ✅

If that is the devil's cooking, then let the devil keep cooking! Because this meal is saving lives! 😂

The real devil you should be worried about is the one who:

Convinces wives to fight strange women instead of helping struggling sisters.
Convinces men to waste money outside instead of building the family.
Convinces single mothers that suffering alone is better than structured help.
Convinces people to call truth "devilish" while embracing lies.

That devil is already cooking. And the meal is called DESTRUCTION.

So before you point fingers at me, check the pot in your own kitchen. What is cooking there?

You called me the devil, but let me remind you of what the Bible says:

"Test all things; hold fast what is good." — 1 Thessalonians 5:21

So test my proposal. Is it good? Does it help struggling women? Does it reduce fatherless children? Does it bring honesty instead of secrets?

If the answer is YES, then hold fast to it. Even if it comes from someone you call "devil."

And Another Thing...
You know the devil's favorite trick? Division.

He loves to make people fight each other instead of solving problems. He loves to make women fight women. He loves to make men fight women. He loves to make Christians fight Muslims.

My proposal is about UNITY. It is about women helping women. It is about family building. It is about reducing suffering.

If the devil is cooking, why is his food so full of PEACE and SOLUTION? 🤔

My dear, you can call me devil. You can call me madman. You can call me anything you like. But the truth remains:

Too many single mothers are suffering.
Too few men are available.
The current system is failing.
Something must change.

If you have a BETTER solution, bring it. If all you have is "Devil, is that you cooking?" then respectfully, go and find a real argument.

Because while you are busy shouting "devil," the single mothers are still crying. The fatherless children are still roaming the streets. And nothing is changing.

How does a wife bring in another wife for me stop the husband from still going out out to get a strange, disease-carrying "side thing" from eating him?

voortrekker966:
Devil, is that you cooking?

Na im ooo! This time his strategy is that he is doing it because of the discarded, rejected abandoned o.s and their children.

Like if those ones were good they would have been discarded.

Op proves that dev dey real

voortrekker966:
Devil, is that you cooking?

Na im true true

Janadozz:
Wahala dey o!

See this one o! So because I am saying the truth that nobody wants to hear, I have now become the devil? Abeg, make we rest. If the devil is cooking, then the devil must be a very good chef because this meal is making a lot of sense!

Let Me Ask You Something
If I am the devil for suggesting that wives should bring in struggling fellow women, then what do you call:..

Why don't you lead by example. Let your wife start taking in struggling fellow men as her husbands, then we would know that you are serious for God Said "Do unto others what you want done to three".