₦airaland Forum

Pootle:
first choice dont always end up being the best

After devour every every, there is God oooo

Noo. I neva marry. Make I test all the oloshos in my area then i will think about marriage

Samantha125:
But I have a question, why do traditional wedding ceremonies as Christians when you claim not be a traditionalists? Because traditional wedding ceremonies are accompanied by traditional practices and customs.

Thank you for this wonderful question. I know you’ll not get any reasonable answers 😂

I grew up to understand that there is no first choice. So I'm not emotionally attached to any first choice.
I will go on to enjoy myself, life is too short.

Samantha125:
You're not answering my question... Why have traditional wedding ceremonies if you don't believe in tradition?

Most traditions are not inherently devilish or ungodly (with respect to the Christian faith). So long as the tradition doesn’t involve idol worship or occultic rituals it may be compatible with Christianity. There’s a difference between traditional religions and traditional practices.

Samantha125:
Did I?😅😅😅... Well, there were two potential guys before my husband, I was after the first one while the second one was after me, but he too was my spec, I mean he was educated, tall, yellow, and handsome with a beautiful smile, perfect for making babies, the type of a man whereby even if he dumps you, you'd be grateful that he at least gave you beautiful babies.

I never got a chance with the first one, all thanks to his mother and even though I also liked the the second one, he was a junior pastor in my friend's chapel and due to some circumstances I was going through at that time, I didn't want to be linked to any pastor or even become a pastor's wife... My friend and I used to take turns in visiting each other's churches and he always looked forward to my visitations because he'd grab the opportunity to get to know me more after the service, apparently he'd also be just staring at me throughout the service, but I eventually stopped visiting... Then there was my husband, who was in a relationship with someone else while pursuing me.

You mean tall, dark, and handsome

Am tired to listen to some reply can you Google culture and traditionalist to know the difference? So if you pay yam and goat does that one make you idol worshipper? Hahahah how did I find my self in this country self

Samantha125:
Did I?😅😅😅... Well, there were two potential guys before my husband, I was after the first one while the second one was after me, but he too was my spec, I mean he was educated, tall, yellow, and handsome with a beautiful smile, perfect for making babies, the type of a man whereby even if he dumps you, you'd be grateful that he at least gave you beautiful babies.

I never got a chance with the first one, all thanks to his mother and even though I also liked the the second one, he was a junior pastor in my friend's chapel and due to some circumstances I was going through at that time, I didn't want to be linked to any pastor or even become a pastor's wife... My friend and I used to take turns in visiting each other's churches and he always looked forward to my visitations because he'd grab the opportunity to get to know me more after the service, apparently he'd also be just staring at me throughout the service, but I eventually stopped visiting... Then there was my husband, who was in a relationship with someone else while pursuing me.

Lesson to girl, please read her last line carefully

A man being in a relationship and pursing you may work out

Growing up, I thought I would marry the woman I had chosen to remain faithful to - We never kissed talk more of s3x. I gave that relationship my trust and believed I was her one and only, only to later discover there was someone else in the background.

When I eventually raised the subject of marriage, she surprised me with reasons why we shouldn't get married. She said we were too young, but I often felt that my family's financial struggles played a significant role in her decision.

Life, however, has a way of working out differently than we expect. Today, I am married to an amazing, beautiful woman. Together, we have traveled the world, built a successful life, and created opportunities not only for ourselves but also for the family that once had very little.

Years later, she told me she regretted her decision and wished she had chosen differently, explaining that she had been influenced by her sisters. By then, I had already learned one of life's greatest lessons: sometimes rejection is not a setback—it is redirection toward something far better than you could have imagined.

No.

First choice was toxic, we threw punches, would start fights w everyone and insult anyone.

Second one cheated on me w visiting ex from Dubai

Third choice and now wife was the one that saw through me, worked and walked w me. 7 years in now. Still grateful.



Can’t stop thinking about second though

doctore212:
Noo. I neva marry. Make I test all the oloshos in my area then i will think about marriage

Just didn't also test AIDS and other STDs

Samantha125:
Did I?😅😅😅... Well, there were two potential guys before my husband, I was after the first one while the second one was after me, but he too was my spec, I mean he was educated, tall, yellow, and handsome with a beautiful smile, perfect for making babies, the type of a man whereby even if he dumps you, you'd be grateful that he at least gave you beautiful babies.

I never got a chance with the first one, all thanks to his mother and even though I also liked the the second one, he was a junior pastor in my friend's chapel and due to some circumstances I was going through at that time, I didn't want to be linked to any pastor or even become a pastor's wife... My friend and I used to take turns in visiting each other's churches and he always looked forward to my visitations because he'd grab the opportunity to get to know me more after the service, apparently he'd also be just staring at me throughout the service, but I eventually stopped visiting... Then there was my husband, who was in a relationship with someone else while pursuing me.

Madam Samantha Samantha!


So, How Did You Make Him Leave The Lady He Was Dating Before You ?

Did He Hide It From You While Pursuing You ?

kakaG:
I was too adventurous that I missed her

Take heart. Hope you find someone better

NwaliE01:
Growing up, I thought I would marry the woman I had chosen to remain faithful to - We never kissed talk more of s3x. I gave that relationship my trust and believed I was her one and only, only to later discover there was someone else in the background.

When I eventually raised the subject of marriage, she surprised me with reasons why we shouldn't get married. She said we were too young, but I often felt that my family's financial struggles played a significant role in her decision.

Life, however, has a way of working out differently than we expect. Today, I am married to an amazing, beautiful woman. Together, we have traveled the world, built a successful life, and created opportunities not only for ourselves but also for the family that once had very little.

Years later, she told me she regretted her decision and wished she had chosen differently, explaining that she had been influenced by her sisters. By then, I had already learned one of life's greatest lessons: sometimes rejection is not a setback—it is redirection toward something far better than you could have imagined.

Wasere!


Life Is Life!

pocohantas:
What is first choice? Years ago I wanted to attend UNN as my first choice. In 2026 I wouldn't choose any public university. So first choice can change over time and can be replicated to even be better. I think the topic here is many didn't marry someone they are genuinely attracted to.

Smart Direction For The Directive!

Wifie was the first and only babe I dated in the university.

Met her Year 2, second semester.

We don't even know when we started dating.

We were a popular couple in the College of Health Sciences that year.

3 lecturers attended our wedding.

Come August 23rd, we'd be 12 years - 4 kids: 2 boys, and a set of twin girls. Oldest child will be 11 by September, youngest and the last will be 4 by August.

In these 12 years, a lot has happened. We both went on to get master's degrees in our fields (I, Human Physiology, she, Public Health). After my MSc, I went to medical school earning a degree as a medical doctor in 2023.

Wifie has been my strongest support system. If not for her, I would have failed out of medschool. God really used her to guide me.

Today, I'm the luckiest man alive!

Your first choice may not be your best choice.

Samantha125:
You're not answering my question... Why have traditional wedding ceremonies if you don't believe in tradition?

There is no sane adult who doesn't believe in traditions. Every society has traditions and the people who make up the society are expected to follow the traditions which often aren't always fetish or demonic or evil. Marriages, family pattern and structures, respect for elders and leaders, worship systems, farming systems, market systems, educational systems, dress patterns etc form part of traditions.

Overtime, traditions change and evolve with enculturation and acculturation. It's normal.

There is no culture anywhere that has not been directly or indirectly diluted by another.

To your question, traditional marriage doesn't mean fetish or religious marriage. It means marriage according to the customs of the people like bride price or dowry payment, settling of the inlaws and all parties involved, seeing everyone involved, fulfilling all demands or almost from the village etc. It has nothing to do with deity but more to do with the way of life of the people.

Christians are from a place and when they follow the pattern of their culture in this, that is what is called traditional marriage.


"an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (such as a religious practice or a social custom"

BarrElChapo:
Thank you for this wonderful question. I know you’ll not get any reasonable answers 😂

Reasonable answer? As how now?
Do you think the question is reasonable? Lol.
Why is the question reasonable to you? Let me hear your thoughts please.

Samantha125:
Did I?😅😅😅... Well, there were two potential guys before my husband, I was after the first one while the second one was after me, but he too was my spec, I mean he was educated, tall, yellow, and handsome with a beautiful smile, perfect for making babies, the type of a man whereby even if he dumps you, you'd be grateful that he at least gave you beautiful babies.

I never got a chance with the first one, all thanks to his mother and even though I also liked the the second one, he was a junior pastor in my friend's chapel and due to some circumstances I was going through at that time, I didn't want to be linked to any pastor or even become a pastor's wife... My friend and I used to take turns in visiting each other's churches and he always looked forward to my visitations because he'd grab the opportunity to get to know me more after the service, apparently he'd also be just staring at me throughout the service, but I eventually stopped visiting... Then there was my husband, who was in a relationship with someone else while pursuing me.

I stopped reading when you said yellow .You are a hater of your skin color. I dislike such people

Samantha125:
You're not answering my question... Why have traditional wedding ceremonies if you don't believe in tradition?

The problem with a lot of Nigerians is that they don’t they are doing the tradition of a white man when they say “White Weddding”

I would rather have an African traditional wedding than the crap people do in the name of white wedding.

Samantha125:
Did I?😅😅😅... Well, there were two potential guys before my husband, I was after the first one while the second one was after me, but he too was my spec, I mean he was educated, tall, yellow, and handsome with a beautiful smile, perfect for making babies, the type of a man whereby even if he dumps you, you'd be grateful that he at least gave you beautiful babies.

I never got a chance with the first one, all thanks to his mother and even though I also liked the the second one, he was a junior pastor in my friend's chapel and due to some circumstances I was going through at that time, I didn't want to be linked to any pastor or even become a pastor's wife... My friend and I used to take turns in visiting each other's churches and he always looked forward to my visitations because he'd grab the opportunity to get to know me more after the service, apparently he'd also be just staring at me throughout the service, but I eventually stopped visiting... Then there was my husband, who was in a relationship with someone else while pursuing me.

So in other word, you snatched your husband from his girlfriend?

Samantha125:
Did I?😅😅😅... Well, there were two potential guys before my husband, I was after the first one while the second one was after me, but he too was my spec, I mean he was educated, tall, yellow, and handsome with a beautiful smile, perfect for making babies, the type of a man whereby even if he dumps you, you'd be grateful that he at least gave you beautiful babies.

I never got a chance with the first one, all thanks to his mother and even though I also liked the the second one, he was a junior pastor in my friend's chapel and due to some circumstances I was going through at that time, I didn't want to be linked to any pastor or even become a pastor's wife... My friend and I used to take turns in visiting each other's churches and he always looked forward to my visitations because he'd grab the opportunity to get to know me more after the service, apparently he'd also be just staring at me throughout the service, but I eventually stopped visiting... Then there was my husband, who was in a relationship with someone else while pursuing me.

Very jobless person can never be a first choice...

pocohantas:
Good question.

There is also the part that bride price payment is a prerequisite to other marriages in Nigeria. Not sure of your country, but in Nigeria no sane pastor would wed you knowing bride price hasn't been paid. We see this part as CULTURE and it is only a problem when a "traditional god" is being worshipped.

Bride price payment is not limited to Yoruba or Nigerian culture
It's also in the Bible

Samantha125:
How is it culture when you don't believe in cultural customs? Do you now see how confused you are with your double standards?😂😂😂

But where did Christians claim to not believe in cultural practices?? I'm a Christian and I've never heard that

So are you saying there is a difference between Christian religion and Christian practice? Please enlighten me

Most traditions are not inherently devilish or ungodly (with respect to the Christian faith). So long as the tradition doesn’t involve idol worship or occultic rituals it may be compatible with Christianity. There’s a difference between traditional religions and traditional practices.[/quote]

BarrElChapo:
Thank you for this wonderful question. I know you’ll not get any reasonable answers 😂

Maybe because it's not a reasonable question
If you studied the Bible well, you'll understand that Christianity is not against tradition and culture as far as it's not fetish or idolatrous
More importantly though, bride price payment which she was referring to is also practiced in the Bible as well, the first recorded being Isaac's marriage to Rebecca.

SmartMen:
The problem with a lot of Nigerians is that they don’t they are doing the tradition of a white man when they say “White Weddding”

I would rather have an African traditional wedding than the crap people do in the name of white wedding.

The problem with you is that what you call "tradition of a white man" is actually "church wedding". It is not tied to any tradition. Today the white man gets married without necessarily visiting the four walls of a church. White man does not have any strict tradition when it comes to weddings
Go read up history

The post reminds me of something but I won't tell you in case my wife by any chance reads my comment.

Gbam

pocohantas:
What is first choice? Years ago I wanted to attend UNN as my first choice. In 2026 I wouldn't choose any public university. So first choice can change over time and can be replicated to even be better. I think the topic here is many didn't marry someone they are genuinely attracted to.

Balogun
You should just have chang moniker and let it out
Don't take it to grave some life may depend on it

israelmao:
The post reminds me of something but I won't tell you in case my wife by any chance reads my comment.