₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
He has mentioned it over and over again about how tough it was when they first got married. Today she has calmed down and they now have peace in their marriage.

That's the power of prayer, especially when you sought God's mind concerning a life partner. You can always go back to Him to complain about the direction He sent you to and get a solution because He will not give us what will destroy us.

Story story, story!

Power of prayer my foot! Make hin go broke first.

Marvieduke:
Not so many people would say they have not come across the name, Pastor Jerry Eze, at least on one of the social media platforms. Regardless of whatever faith you profess, his is a name that has become almost impossible to miss on the Nigerian internet in recent years.

For those who may not know him, Jerry Eze is a Nigerian Pentecostal pastor and the founder of Streams of Joy International, a ministry that has grown enormously through its online prayer programme, NSPPD (New Season Prophetic Prayers and Declarations). His sermons, prayers and testimonies have given him a huge following both in Nigeria and among Nigerians in the diaspora.

I just stumbled on a story said to be his testimony about his marriage, and I found myself reading it a little differently from the way such stories are usually consumed online.

He said that when he got married, marriage was “hell”. In fact, he said if there was anything “hellier than hell”, that was what his marriage felt like.

According to him, the problem was largely his wife's anger.

He recalled an incident during the first week of their marriage. They were in the kitchen and he asked her a simple question. She became angry, moved the cups and plates she was arranging with one hand and sent them crashing to the floor.

He said he was shocked.

Coming from a background where, according to him, anger was not something they were accustomed to, he did not know how to process what he had just witnessed. He went into the room, packed his things and left because he genuinely feared that he might be beaten.

And this, he said, was not an isolated incident.

He found himself becoming careful about what he said and how he said it because he never knew how his wife would react. He felt intimidated. He felt that she sometimes acted as though she was the man of the house.

Eventually, he reached the point where he told God he was done.

His reasoning was simple: he had tried. They were both successful. There was no reason, in his mind, why they could not simply go their separate ways and everyone would be fine.

But apparently, that was not the end of the story.

He recalled another incident that happened while they were in London.

His wife had gone into a shop while he remained outside. At some point, he went into another shop to pick something up. When she returned and discovered that he had gone elsewhere, she became upset.

He tried to explain that she should have told him she was going to another shop so they could have gone together because he was not used to the cold.

According to him, she looked at him and asked, “What did you say? What did you say?”

And he responded with a question he said he often asked because he felt intimidated by her: “Do you want me to be afraid of you?”

She left him there.

He did not even realise she had gone home until much later.

He eventually called her friend and asked where his wife was because he was stranded and did not know where to go. The friend contacted his wife, and the response was reportedly, “Let him find his way back.”

He eventually found his way back, packed his things again, changed his ticket and left that same night.

By the time his wife returned to Nigeria so they could live together, he said things became even worse.

Then came the moment that changed the way he looked at the entire marriage.

One day, while praying, he told God that this was the end. Let his wife go her way and let him go his.

And then, according to his testimony, he received an answer that completely changed his perspective:

“This marriage is not a destination. It is an assignment.”

He said that statement changed everything.

Instead of approaching marriage primarily from the standpoint of what he expected to receive from his wife, he began to see himself as someone who also had a responsibility within the marriage.

He had to learn to love.
He had to learn to control his reactions.
He had to learn not to respond to every expression of anger with anger.
He had to stop expecting his wife to behave exactly the way he wanted.

He said the marriage did not suddenly become perfect. It was not a magical transformation.

But eventually, he says, the woman he once described in those difficult terms became one of the sweetest people one could meet.

Now, this is where Jerry Eze's story stopped being just a story about Jerry Eze and his wife for me. It raises a much bigger question about what we actually expect from marriage, and what marriage, in turn, expects from us.

Because there is something deeply uncomfortable about marriage that many people discover only after they get into it.

We often enter marriage with an invisible list of expectations.

We want to be loved in a certain way. We want to be spoken to in a certain way. We want our spouse to understand us, respect us, appreciate us, apologise when they are wrong and change the things that irritate us.

And when the marriage becomes difficult, our first instinct is often to ask:

“When will my spouse change?”

But perhaps one of the hardest questions marriage can force us to ask is:

“What does this relationship reveal about me?”

That, I think, is the strongest part of Jerry Eze's testimony.

Not necessarily the claim that God told him his marriage was an assignment, because people may interpret that according to their own faith.

The deeper point is that he eventually realised that he too had an assignment within the marriage.

His assignment was not to change his wife.

It was to work on himself.

And that is a lesson worth considering, whether you are religious or not.

But there is an important qualification.

Marriage being an assignment does not mean that someone must endure everything their spouse does.

Patience is not permission for abuse. Forgiveness does not mean pretending nothing happened. And taking responsibility for your own shortcomings does not mean taking responsibility for another person's destructive behaviour.

Two people have an assignment in a marriage.

You have yours.

Your spouse has theirs.

You can work on yourself. You can love more. You can communicate better. You can learn patience. You can apologise. You can change.

But you cannot do your spouse's assignment for them.

Perhaps that is where the real wisdom lies.

Marriage is not simply about finding someone who will make you happy. It is also about becoming someone capable of making another person feel loved, respected and safe.

And sometimes, the person you desperately want to change is not the only person who needs changing.

Sometimes, you are also part of the assignment.

That, to me, is the part of Jerry Eze's story worth thinking about.

https://www.facebook.com/100063752402145/posts/1643297317805333

I need to save it.

Op pastor Jerry done make money get followers, y are u still marketing him? Is he contesting for presidency or he wan be governor of him state?

A

AbdulAkpan:
There is nothing special here. Mr. Jerry has got to the level of celebrity with riches. He arms and surrounds himself with rich and super influential people.

The woman may have also got an advise from her family. Or she may have come to understand that if she makes her man to remove her from his way, all the opportunity, connection and privileges she enjoys may slip her hands.

I just pity hustling guys living with bad women. They have no remedy.

Yes, money answereth all things.

I was scrolling to see if this comment was on the first page, so I don't have to stress myself typing it.
Money made her to calm down. That's all

pocohantas:
First Naija pastor wey na the wife show am shege. Usually it is the women giving these strange testimonies.

Such a virtuous man.
Other men should learn from him. 🤸‍♀️

Well am glad your dad, brother and maybe the sons you will have are going to take this your advice very seriously and apply them

CJStarz:
Look, people tend to hide their bad sides during courtship.

yes you are right, and thats is why divorce should always be an option. and it should be placed on the marriage table at all times.

fxexperts:
Well am glad your dad, brother and maybe the sons you will have are going to take this your advice very seriously and apply them

Why is it a problem if they apply them?
Have women not been doing same for years?
Lol! You think mentioning my dad, brother and sons would make me retreat. Dey play.

😂😂😂😂

pocohantas:
Why is it a problem if they apply them?
Have women not been doing same for years?
Lol! You think mentioning my dad, brother and sons would make me retreat. Dey play.

😂😂😂😂

So your purpose in life now is to cry and fight for your great grand mothers. Weldon. You for sure will betray that cause if you have a male child, you will not train him this way you are advicing.
perfect definition of hypocricy.

fxexperts:
So your purpose in life now is to cry and fight for your great grand mothers. Weldon. You for sure will betray that cause if you have a male child, you will not train him this way you are advicing.
perfect definition of hypocricy.

Find your own purpose and stop crying in my mentions. I wonder why what women do bothers you so much. No be person train you and your kind? Abeg getaut.

pocohantas:
Find your own purpose and stop crying in my mentions. I wonder why what women do bothers you so much. No be person train you and your kind? Abeg getaut.

getaut aunty. Must you cry every time things go against a man. Nor be man born you. commenting everytime like she hate men. but she enjoys it.

fxexperts:
getaut aunty. Must you cry every time things go against a man. Nor be man born you. commenting everytime like she hate men. but she enjoys it.

If I hate you, how is it a problem?
Go quote the women that like you na.
What kind of mental issue is this?

pocohantas:
If I hate you, how is it a problem?
Go quote the women that like you na.
What kind of mental issue is this?

Who cares about your hate or like. If you like go hug monkey no one cares. but the moment you being that hate and hypocricy here on NL, i will give you by force Therapy.

fxexperts:
Who cares about your hate or like. If you like go hug monkey no one cares. but the moment you being that hate and hypocricy here on NL, i will give you by force Therapy.

You don't care and you are here crying.
I am sure you haven't messaged the women you care about tonight. Naso una go dey moomoo.

pocohantas:
You don't care and you are here crying.
I am sure you haven't messaged the women you care about tonight. Naso una go dey moomoo.

Why are you so pained na. you can't take what you dished out to others. bunch of feminist who are extremely confused. and you have you cared to messaged the man you claim to care about this morning.