₦airaland Forum

I don’t know if I should call this betrayal or what, but I’m seriously in pain. I never knew I would feel it this much 😞.

There’s this man who came for my hand in marriage. He’s very good looking, comfortable and based in Lagos. The only problem was that he wasn’t educated, and as a graduate, I wasn’t sure I could marry someone without a degree.

We met in Asaba when he came for his friend’s house opening, and even after he travelled back to Lagos, we kept talking almost every day. He told me he was single and genuinely wanted a committed relationship with me.

My closest friend knew everything. I told her about him, my fears and even the fact that I wasn’t sure I would eventually marry him. She had seen me take his calls countless times and knew how serious he was about me😕.

Last year, during Easter period, he came to Asaba again, and I went with my friend and met him.. He talked about meeting my parents and settling down with me…but I asked him to give me some time because I wasn’t ready.

A few months later, our communication reduced. Whenever I complained, he blamed it on work. Then one day, my friend told me they have been chatting for a while, that she got his friend request on Facebook..(I was like how?😳)

To think this girl had even travelled to Lagos to see him, and I knew absolutely nothing about it.

When I confronted her, she said, “You knew you weren’t going to marry him, so why do you want to keep deceiving him? You two were just friends nau.”

I wanted to run màd. I called him, and he didn’t deny it. He said he felt a genuine connection with my friend, and ended the call on me.

For two months, I didn’t answer my friend’s call or hear whatever she wanted to say. One of the WhatsApp messages she sent she said “why’re you màd at me, but you guys never dated”😳

Last month I heard from a mutual friend that she’s getting married this December. I honestly don’t even know how to process this or if I should call either of them.

Please post for me 🙏🏼

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1FKpTK8DBE/

Same old, old, old story!
If fate put something good in your hands, don't blab it to your friends!!!!

QuinQQ:
Same old, old, old story!
If fate put something good in your hands, don't blab it to your friends!!!!

Nope. Fate put something in her hands, but she told fate that it was not up to her "standard".

The only problem was that he wasn’t educated, and as a graduate, I wasn’t sure I could marry someone without a degree.

People think that being "educated" asin having a degree cannot be started at anytime - she with all her education could not see past her own small mind.

Meanwhile, for the owner of the story. Na ohgun go keel you if you hold any ill-will against your friend and the man who I wish a very happy married life.

E pain you now because what you called scrap, your friend sew potential in it and called it gold.

Meanwhile, if it wasn't your friend, it would have been someone else. JUST don't have friends like this though - i mean friends that will take an opportunity from you instead of advising you to take it by yourself.

Stephen0mozzy:
Nope. Fate put something in her hands, but she told fate that it was not up to her "standard".



People think that being "educated" asin having a degree cannot be started at anytime - she with all her education could not see past her own small mind.

She wasn't SURE!
Unless you are TOTALLY sure you don't want something don't tell your friends about it. How Nature works is that they will either take it from you or their energy will mess it up for you!

Stephen0mozzy:
JUST don't have friends like this though - i mean friends that will take an opportunity from you instead of advising you to take it by yourself.

But all friends are like that. That is human nature.
Best advice: don't blab about it!

Not everything you lose is a loss in life!!!!!!!!

God just revealed the snake you called friend, everyday is a fresh beginning and start. Forget about them, forgive your friend and the guy.


Learn from it cos there's big lesson for a better opportunity ahead of you. Whatever passes you was never meant for you.

There's no true friend except God, keep hope alive for your husband cos he's coming with dignity.

Life is a teacher of karma, what goes around comes around. Whatever energy you send betraying others will be double when receiving the results of the negative energy you sent.

In all you do as a woman, never underestimate the quality of man cos of his educational background. Except he doesn't know how to read and write cos that's the real foundation of education.

Be happy with yourself, enjoy your day more than before and never think about the past.

QuinQQ:
She wasn't SURE!
Unless you are TOTALLY sure you don't want something don't tell your friends about it. How Nature works is that they will either take it from you or their energy will mess it up for you!

You're forgetting that there's another Human being on the other side of her not wanting to choose a man because he doesn't have a degree, but finds him somewhat good enough to even have uncertainty.

A man who has declared hos intentions should not be held down by a woman who doesn't know what she wants.

You don't deserve the guy.

Go and look for a graduate

QuinQQ:
But all friends are like that. That is human nature.
Best advice: don't blab about it!

Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are.

NOT ALL FRIENDS are like that. Most friends will genuinely try to make you see reasons about a decision, but not force you to do it.

If you insist on not wanting the thing, and they go for it, then you're the wicked one for getting angry that they went for what you didn't want.

If this story is true, the lady na the illiterate and not the man...

Her friend was right

Very funny.., why mad with your friend when you don’t want anything to do with the man in the first place?

That’s if this isn’t an AI manufactured story.

Brotherhood is proud of the man. No time to waste

The guy isn't up to her standard, noticed how it's not because he is not polished, or speaks great English, but merely due to the fact that he's not educated. Probably didn't go to university. However, she wants to keep him at the stand while waiting to see if better options come in the future, so she could scream words like " But I didn't promise to marry you", "we are not even dating", etc.

Her friend clearly, as a lady knows their shenanigans and maybe, understand how the world works and decided to get on with her life, and she's angry, not because she loved the man or want to marry him, but because she wants to have and keep her option, incase life didn't send a tall dark skin 6.3 feet billionaire that will have eyes for her only.

Please, I do not want to be agitated abeg

They will still fall out at the long run,your friend is a betrayer because she knew you could change your mind at any minute and she must have told him lies about you,the guy on the other hand never loved you, he can be easily manipulated means he’s a weakling,Honestly your gain.

Congratulations to your friend. While you were still thinking on whether to play hard to get, your friend decided to play smart one you.

As for your friend, it may backfire on her in future depending as he was married as an option.

Stephen0mozzy:
Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are.

NOT ALL FRIENDS are like that. Most friends will genuinely try to make you see reasons about a decision, but not force you to do it.

If you insist on not wanting the thing, and they go for it, then you're the wicked one for getting angry that they went for what you didn't want.

Maybe not most friends but a lot of so called friends

That's how you will leave him hanging and finally go for the one that befits your status. Stop shedding crocodile tears abeg.

Stephen0mozzy:
You're forgetting that there's another Human being on the other side of her not wanting to choose a man because he doesn't have a degree, but finds him somewhat good enough to even have uncertainty.

A man who has declared hos intentions should not be held down by a woman who doesn't know what she wants.

That's what she told her friend (who doesn’t have any boyfriend at all) subconsciously to make her even more jealous.
Anyway, it is something thst happens a lot - the shiny new guy ends up with her friend instead of the original girl. It's all part of the evil eye!

Stephen0mozzy:
Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are.

NOT ALL FRIENDS are like that. Most friends will genuinely try to make you see reasons about a decision, but not force you to do it.

If you insist on not wanting the thing, and they go for it, then you're the wicked one for getting angry that they went for what you didn't want.

You obviously don't know the theory of the evil eye.Unless your friends are not human. If you practically introduce your new rich not-yet-boyfriend (who's talking marriage) to your best friend, nine times out of ten the relationship won't lead to marriage, and he may end up marrying her!
Anyway, it is a scenario that happens a lot

Of course! A timed, subtle nudge to solidify the connection. It’s all about the little things, really. And wouldn't it be lovely if they subtly hinted at them devotion?

ibroyal:
They will still fall out at the long run,your friend is a betrayer because she knew you could change your mind at any minute and she must have told him lies about you,the guy on the other hand never loved you, he can be easily manipulated means he’s a weakling,Honestly your gain.

This is what your gender says when a guy decides to move on and not being kept as the fall back option. You claim he never loved you and he was a weakling. Many of you don't know that most eligible men have lots of ladies on their lists and the fact that he comes for you doesn't mean he couldn't get other ladies. Real men don't have the time to keep begging and waiting for only you while you keep turning him around until you probably meet your "perfect" man and dump him with all the rude and degrading languages you use when you want to dump a man.

Kudos to the smart friend who ceased the opportunity to hook herself a good man.

Jman06:
This is what your gender says when a guy decides to move on and not being kept as the fall back option. You claim he never loved you and he was a weakling. Many of you don't know that most eligible men have lots of ladies on their lists and the fact that he comes for you doesn't mean he couldn't get other ladies. Real men don't have the time to keep begging and waiting for only you while you keep turning him around until you probably meet your "perfect" man and dump him with all the rude and degrading languages you use when you want to dump a man.

Kudos to the smart friend who ceased the opportunity to hook herself a good man.

We still have men that wait on their women of choice,it’s better that way than be with a man that will even ride your house help,sister or friend simply because they don’t have any class.

ibroyal:
We still have men that wait on their women of choice,it’s better that way than be with a man that will even ride your house help,sister or friend simply because they don’t have any class.

Only a very classless man would wait on a lady after she turns him down or not giving him a positive response. Only boys who are not ready for marriage would wait until he's chosen as plan B when she couldn't get her plan A.

Degree is not just about speaking English.
It's about mind development.
There are 3 kinds of education, and degree is just one of the three.

I can't believe you guys believe this made up cock+story

Jman06:
Only a very classless man would wait on a lady after she turns him down or not giving him a positive response. Only boys who are not ready for marriage would wait until he's chosen as plan B when she couldn't get her plan A.

But she never turned him down,they were actually vibing and she trusted him,that was why she tagged her friend along,he acted based on a hear say,my own is that, her friend will keep acting to keep up with the marriage and they will not enjoy the outcome because he did that to pepper the OP

ibroyal:
But she never turned him down,they were actually vibing and she trusted him,that was why she tagged her friend along,he acted based on a hear say,my own is that, her friend will keep acting to keep up with the marriage and they will not enjoy the outcome because he did that to pepper the OP

Didn't you read where the op said that he proposed but she told him that she wasn't ready?? Is that how to vibe with someone you're interested in?
As far as I'm concerned, the guy and the friend didn't do anything bad to op. She should continue waiting for Mr perfect while sensible girls are getting married every weekend.

Jman06:
Didn't you read where the op said that he proposed but she told him that she wasn't ready?? Is that how to vibe with someone you're interested in?
As far as I'm concerned, the guy and the friend didn't do anything bad to op. She should continue waiting for Mr perfect while sensible girls are getting married every weekend.

So she should have jumped up to accept immediately? She didn’t say No either. after all during our mother’s time men used to woo a particular woman for more than 5 years fa,any way I respect your opinion, my opinion is that her friend and the man didn’t do well.

ibroyal:
They will still fall out at the long run,your friend is a betrayer because she knew you could change your mind at any minute and she must have told him lies about you,the guy on the other hand never loved you, he can be easily manipulated means he’s a weakling,Honestly your gain.

Dey play

Wetin no go work out?

It will surprise you that the teller of this story is only a means to how her friend will meet her own hubby in life

This is exactly what they call 'LIFE DRAMA'

ariesbull:
There’s this man who came for my hand in marriage. He’s very good looking, comfortable and based in Lagos. The only problem was that he wasn’t educated, and as a graduate, I wasn’t sure I could marry someone without a degree.

The highest achievement of any Ibo person is staying in Lagos.

Wickedfacts:
The highest achievement of any Ibo person is staying in Lagos.

You are really not well. This kind of hatred for another tribe as shown by you is synonymous with someone who needs help.