₦airaland Forum

When a man brings a young bride from Nigeria to the U.S. through traditional or arranged channels, the culture shock is often explosive. She steps into the freedom of America and begins demanding her rights, while the man still expects old-school subservience and control. When communication collapses and resentment builds, it too often triggers a fatal descent into ego and rage—leaving a trail of shattered families and prison sentences.

One academic paper discussing these cases stated that **nine Nigerian women were murdered in the United States by their spouses between 2005 and 2008**,](https://www.jstor.org/stable/41421415)

Another report noted that community leaders became concerned after **10 Nigerian women, eight of them nurses, were killed by partners between 2006 and 2008**. [4](https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2017/7/21/the-hotline-trying-to-stop-men-murdering-their-wives)

Our short film: Murder In Dallas: The Killing of Angela is based on a true story that happened about 17 years ago.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVrmqWJeTuQ?is=TmtXqCIlRIpO53fX

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This is testament to the fact that when a man makes money he wants to take care of his family but when a woman makes money she wants to be independent! African woman are mostly like this, the become arrogant and uncontrollable when they have small change. Examples are everywhere not just in Dallas.

Rhozabeth:
This is testament to the fact that when a man makes money he wants to take care of his family but when a woman makes money she wants to be independent! African woman are mostly like this, the become arrogant and uncontrollable when they have small change. Examples are everywhere not just in Dallas.

Oga abeg point of correction!

NIGERIAN WOMEN ARE THE ONES WITH THESE ISSUES!

KENYAN WOMEN, GHANAIAN WOMEN, ETHIOPIAN WOMEN AND THE REST OF THEM AFRICAN WOMEN ABROAD DONT BEHAVE THAT WAY!

They all have decent respectful homes and live peacefully and respectfully with their husbands both in Europe and America!

In fact, Nigerian men abroad don dey turn their attention to these other African women over there and they are honestly giving them peace! Go verify.

obiekunie01:
Oga abeg point of correction!

NIGERIAN WOMEN ARE THE ONES WITH THESE ISSUES!

KENYAN WOMEN, GHANAIAN WOMEN, ETHIOPIAN WOMEN AND THE REST OF THEM AFRICAN WOMEN ABROAD DONT BEHAVE THAT WAY!

They all have decent respectful homes and live peacefully and respectfully with their husbands both in Europe and America!

In fact, Nigerian men abroad don dey turn their attention to these other African women over there and they are honestly giving them peace! Go verify.

Easy for you to say because you are not current. True Nigerian women that do this are many but women from other African countries are not left out. But you can only say as much as you know!

Most +234 bannies no dey respect man when they're in the country, na when man pick them go US wey them go listen to man?

Don't take your wife abroad, but finished men won't listen.
Make dem sit for English Test: PTE, IELTS, TOFEL

What ever u do, don't let ur wife live permanently in the usa,
I know someone with kids, paid all expenses for wife and kids to travel and live permanently in the USA,
He has a business here in Nigeria he can't abandon, the wife is now a working over there,
She has refused to send a letter of invitation to the husband to come over for more than 8years now,
She doesn't answer his calls, the kids are now over 20year and above and don't call their father and don't answer their father's call,
Weda u like it or not, te woman don dey fnck another man there and no send him husband, this same husband that struggled sold a house here in Lagos and sent money there for them to buy a house,
If u have money, allow them only go on holiday and return, no pay for permanent stay or u go hear am

If u must bring a woman through to the white man's land..marry and bring in only ladies from rich background..never poor ladies..

All but a scanty few poor ladies will disappoint...

These soft boys will never learn. The one area islam didn't get it wrong. They know how to treat women.

By nature, women can't handle certain things. Be it your sister or your caring mother you see from the eyes of her child. Only your father truly knows your mother's true nature.

It might be a poverty thing but it gets worse with Nigerian women. Indians women and even other African women do not behave like our women.

Well, it's your life and your money, you are free to carry her to the US, train all her family generations because you "love" her. Continue, you will learn.

What a shame

See what poverty has caused

Thank God for UK's strict gun-control laws and enforcement, na Nigerian UK-based women for hear am pass. Who knows wetin the count for be in London!


A lot of aggrieved Naija men out here frustrated because local wifey ain't wifing like she used to do back home

Una dey find slaves bah

Don't bring in poor or low income women to abroad. If u must carry woman abroad carry the already rich once or better still you will see other women over there

Igbo women Mainly has this threat once they see small money and success their heads blow up like balloon, ask Igbo husbands what they see when their money finishes in the home or when you go broke in a relationship, u go chop disrespect, bad behavior and insalt tire

If you marry a woman from a poverty-stricken background and take her abroad anything you see you take it

Edusouls:
Igbo women Mainly has this threat once they see small money and success their heads blow up like balloon, ask Igbo husbands what they see when their money finishes in the home or when you go broke in a relationship, u go chop disrespect, bad behavior and insalt tire

This thing goes beyond tribe or ethnicity, once a man goes broke the respect his woman has for him will just fly out of the window in over 80% of cases.

Ain't we supposed to be wise now?

Wealth and power of the law brings out the monster in them!

obiekunie01:
Oga abeg point of correction!

NIGERIAN WOMEN ARE THE ONES WITH THESE ISSUES!

KENYAN WOMEN, GHANAIAN WOMEN, ETHIOPIAN WOMEN AND THE REST OF THEM AFRICAN WOMEN ABROAD DONT BEHAVE THAT WAY!

They all have decent respectful homes and live peacefully and respectfully with their husbands both in Europe and America!

In fact, Nigerian men abroad don dey turn their attention to these other African women over there and they are honestly giving them peace! Go verify.

I have been around those other countries females. The difference is that we raised our girls with a certain level of independence and drive that the other ladies lack. Ironically we do that within our cultural limits. However, when they move abroad those limits are no longer there and their range are way beyond what these Nigerian men can tolerate.

On the other hand, Nigerian men have huge egos and most of them are raised to believe that their worths lie in money and how much control they have over their women.

I have witness at least two cases, these men brought their women from Nigeria and ensure that the women used their husbands' account as their salary accounts. One of the ladies after nine years had to open her own personal account and that led to trouble and they got divorced. The other thing I observed, is that these couples never loved each other, and were total strangers. In fact it is a marriages of convenience, he wants a young Nigerian lady that he will bring abroad so she can earn a lot of money for the family. The lady in return needs someone to sponsor her abroad so she can make money and live her life.

My advice to those men, why dont you go back to school? Become a nurse, marry a lady bring her over and let her become a teacher. She is less likely to earn more than you and your "respect and control" stay intact and she would have enough time to take care of the family and directs the kids future.

One of the point I keep reading in the comments section is men advising others not to bring their wife

obiekunie01:
Oga abeg point of correction!

NIGERIAN WOMEN ARE THE ONES WITH THESE ISSUES!

KENYAN WOMEN, GHANAIAN WOMEN, ETHIOPIAN WOMEN AND THE REST OF THEM AFRICAN WOMEN ABROAD DONT BEHAVE THAT WAY!

They all have decent respectful homes and live peacefully and respectfully with their husbands both in Europe and America!

In fact, Nigerian men abroad don dey turn their attention to these other African women over there and they are honestly giving them peace! Go verify.

Human behaviors are almost the same, so you can't rule out such from other women.

funsho75:
One of the point I keep reading in the comments section is men advising others not to bring their wife

I am not saying that those ladies are saints but those men aint either. If the men are as good as they claim, why not divorce her and move on with your life? Yes you brought her abroad and trainned her, count it as a business gone bad. Moreover, she is still the mother of your kids and will spend her income one way or the other on the kids.

dettolgel:
I am not saying that those ladies are saints but those men aint either. If the men are as good as they claim, why not divorce her and move on with your life? Yes you brought her abroad and trainned her, count it as a business gone bad. Moreover, she is still the mother of your kids and will spend her income one way or the other on the kids.

Divorce on that side is kinda different from Nigeria

The process is exhausting, it favors women

That's why it difficult for men to just do it

dettolgel:
I am not saying that those ladies are saints but those men aint either. If the men are as good as they claim, why not divorce her and move on with your life? Yes you brought her abroad and trainned her, count it as a business gone bad. Moreover, she is still the mother of your kids and will spend her income one way or the other on the kids.

The big problem am looking at is.

This issue that keeps trending only happens to less than 30% of people that travel, same number divorce in Nigeria.


But most men will now think twice b4 they bring their spouse abroad which now limit opportunities for wife with good intentions.


But the worse part of it is the fact that women keeps supporting those women who travels abroad and distroy their marriage.


My question is.
Are those women happy that the marriage breakdown.
because she found freedom

funsho75:
The big problem am looking at is.

This issue that keeps trending only happens to less than 30% of people that travel, same number divorce in Nigeria.


But most men will now think twice b4 they bring their spouse abroad which now limit opportunities for wife with good intentions.


But the worse part of it is the fact that women keeps supporting those women who travels abroad and distroy their marriage.


My question is.
Are those women happy that the marriage breakdown.
because she found freedom

I know men that brought their wives and only face the normal marrital challenges.

As regards your question, people will always push you to do that which they are too chicken shit to do themselves. For instance most people and most likely including you are calling for revolution but will never partake in one.

Were they happy that the marriage didnt work out I dont know. I am certain that they are happy they those men are getting what they "deserve". Not for the love of the women but for pain of the men.

ceejay80s:
What ever u do, don't let ur wife live permanently in the usa,
I know someone with kids, paid all expenses for wife and kids to travel and live permanently in the UK,
He has a business here in Nigeria he can't abandon, the wife is now a working over there,
She has refused to send a letter of invitation to the husband to come over for more than 8years now,
She doesn't answer his calls, the kids are now over 20year and above and don't call their father and don't answer their father's call,
Weda u like it or not, te woman don dey fnck another man there and no send him husband, this same husband that struggled sold a house here in Lagos and sent money there for them to buy a house,
If u have money, allow them only go on holiday and return, to pay for permanent stay or u go hear am

This is sad. Can we please tell this story?

funsho75:
Divorce on that side is kinda different from Nigeria

The process is exhausting, it favors women

That's why it difficult for men to just do it

You are right. Isnt it better than going to jail and ruining their children lives?

Kennyfancy:
Don't bring in poor or low income women to abroad. If u must carry woman abroad carry the already rich once or better still you will see other women over there

No be just inly overseas o... upgrading a woman is a bad business... just leave her with her itel phone or torchlight. No even dey give her pass wetin she no fit provide herself. Las las oko-ko go learn .

dettolgel:
I am not saying that those ladies are saints but those men aint either. If the men are as good as they claim, why not divorce her and move on with your life? Yes you brought her abroad and trainned her, count it as a business gone bad. Moreover, she is still the mother of your kids and will spend her income one way or the other on the kids.

Pls re read everything you wrote and see if it likeable. If you are a mother or sister and such happens to your son or brother. Will you give him such advice? Yes some men less than 15% still messes up but 90% women are terrible. So men should keep divorcing because of some women.

dettolgel:
I have been around those other countries females. The difference is that we raised our girls with a certain level of independence and drive that the other ladies lack. Ironically we do that within our cultural limits. However, when they move abroad those limits are no longer there and their range are way beyond what these Nigerian men can tolerate.

On the other hand, Nigerian men have huge egos and most of them are raised to believe that their worths lie in money and how much control they have over their women.

I have witness at least two cases, these men brought their women from Nigeria and ensure that the women used their husbands' account as their salary accounts. One of the ladies after nine years had to open her own personal account and that led to trouble and they got divorced. The other thing I observed, is that these couples never loved each other, and were total strangers. In fact it is a marriages of convenience, he wants a young Nigerian lady that he will bring abroad so she can earn a lot of money for the family. The lady in return needs someone to sponsor her abroad so she can make money and live her life.

My advice to those men, why dont you go back to school? Become a nurse, marry a lady bring her over and let her become a teacher. She is less likely to earn more than you and your "respect and control" stay intact and she would have enough time to take care of the family and directs the kids future.

It is actually foolishness for you to want your wife to come and earn more than you do so that she can be the pillar of the house.
That is not the Ego of an African man.
And point of correction, Nigerian women are not properly trained.
We love to tell ourselves lies. Nigerian women are trained to be a liability, dependant, which make some an irrepentantable gold 🪙 digger.
Their method is to rely on "boyfriends, husband, fiance, male friends" when climbing their way to success.
People trained with such a default liability mentality are entitled and feel no sense of remorse or indebtedness to their pillars.
They see everything as a stepping stone to their greatness or goal in life.
That is why you don't sacrifice to help people. Do the barest minimum you can.