Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,160,815 members, 7,844,645 topics. Date: Thursday, 30 May 2024 at 03:55 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. (58168 Views)
Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? / Which Is Worse? A Cheating Or Nagging Wife / Infidelity{how Come Women Forgive Easily,& Men Hardly Forgive?} (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) ... (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Tallesty1(m): 2:59pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
bukatyne:It is not............ Our great grands were not believers yet they submitted. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by cococandy(f): 3:02pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
Why it annoys me is that it fuels the main chick/side chick analogy more. Some women will start believing because they wear the ring and have kids for the man even if he's sleeping around she's the number one. That's all that matters to her even when it sometimes means nothing to the men involved. Forgetting that the amount of love a man has for his kids is proportional to that which he has for their mother(most times) Don't mind tallesty. I saw that post. I just SMH. He actually said 'forget bible here' I'm sure he'll remember bible when it's time to quote the part that favors him bukatyne: |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Godmystrength: 3:04pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
josite:na wa o my own POV is this. If you love someone, you will never want to hurt that someone (for whatever reason or with justification). I love my husband. There are things i know that can hurt him if i do them and i try my best not to do them. I expect that he also loves me and know there are things he can do that can hurt me which includes CHEATING on me (it doesn't matter to me if he doesn't love the OTHER lady, if the OTHER lady means nothing to him, if it is just for fun, if it is a one night stand, if he still assumes that he is treating me like a queen or goddess, if he thinks men are polygamous in nature, if he was seduced/tempted or whatever). In as much as he won't want me to hurt him, i don't expect him to hurt me as well regardless of what the society is saying because he is married to me and not the society.... And it will even hurt me more if he tries to find a justification for hurting me because that will only make it look like i actually deserve getting hurt or that he is doing me a favor by hurting me..... ''this thing is good'' is different from ''i love/want/desire this thing'' |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 3:12pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
,,,,,,,,,, |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by bebe2(f): 3:15pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
carefreewannabe: Google is ur frd. |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by samflex(m): 3:16pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
Feminist are on their way to devour this thread 1 Like |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 3:17pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
PStylish: First of all, you can NEVER know how a woman hurts inside as you are not the woman. (Have you got a scale to measure male and female pain?) Secondly, I don't see why it is impossible for the so called stronger s*ex to develop a thick skin. Thirdly, your statement that a man can NEVER live with a woman who cheated cannot be true as I have already seen men who forgave cheating. Unless you know all 3,477,829,638 males who populate this Earth, you cannot make such a statement. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 3:19pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
cococandy: |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by tmosco(m): 3:20pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
Cheating is not good. But the reason men cheat more because the temptation is higher than that of women, since men just need to see a beautiful lady to be tempted. So that stereotype is still in d mind of the society, just as dey say when u do something often it becomes a norm. Since when I was born 95% of cheating are from d man and some of their wife forgave dem. But women Cheating is rare so wen u hear of it, is sounds weird. So sorry 4 saying men hardly forgive dere wife 4 Cheating and ladies forgive men for d same thing. It just one of those things that has being around for thousands of year and it cannot take a few centuries to change it. But it can change. That just how our world is. |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 3:21pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
bebe2: When you refer to science, you should be able to back up your statement easily. It is not my job to find proof for the gibberish you wrote there. |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 3:26pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
Godmystrength: I can see you get the point...I wont cheat on my wife because I know it will hurt her never minding weda I give a crap about the other woman or not... I appreciate your understanding. |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by tsmatolamide(m): 3:27pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
thats fucking right man[color=#000099][/color] |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by lastpage: 3:29pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
Tallesty1: Please indulge me to ADD a few lines to what the Op above posted above though l think he did a brilliant job already! Dont forget, we are just x-raying why men find it more difficult to forgive a cheating partner (not the justification of cheating!) 6.) Physiological make-up: A man's anatomy is different form that of a woman. The man has an "external, protruding organ" that can act outside his body, get cleaned-out after the act and maintain its original state without leaving a trace behind. The woman's anatomy on the other hand, is a "receptacle" that is "invaded deep down and DNA is deposited inside", during the act! No matter the amount of "after-cleaning" that is done, the offensive liquid cannot be completely eliminated and thus a man remembers that the area of his partner which he considers most private, secluded and hidden deep inside her body, has just been offered to another competitor and in his brain, that DNA will always be there since there is no way of bringing it outside her body and cleaning it completely. He sees her own form of cheating as being "more involved". If we also add the fact that it is a woman that carries the result of some of those illicit acts (as in pregnancy) while the man does his job and walks away, then we can understand why the burden of guilt is heavier on the woman's side. (perception-wise) Again, we might wonder why it is that from time immemorial, not just a Nigerian thing as some are implying, a man is allowed to marry multiple wives (spiritually approved cheating!) while a woman is not allowed to marry more than one husband concurrently? It has to do with our physiological make-up as l explained above and the weight attached to it. Mind you, this is just an "analysis" as cheating is cheating and is no less acceptable for any of the gender in a relationship 7.) Sense of Invasion and Conquer: Like a Virus which invades its host, the shexual act by a man consist of invading another living host (woman), injecting 'DNA' into it and taking-over the host, so to speak. Thus, a man sees the woman as "conquered and dominated" after the act so much so that in some cases, the "host" is damaged and deformed (as in cases which leads to pregnancy, swollen boobs and tummy).. and eventual expulsion of another alien (birth). This is the "context" in which a man sees shex with his partner, by another man! Now imagine a situation where a husband wakes up everyday to run it through his mind that another "invader" has injected, invaded and conquered that which is supposed to exclusively belong to him? Most men just cant live with that and that thought wont just go away no matter how much he tries to wish it away....and most women know so! This is another reason why such wound is deep-seated and forgiveness seems so far away! 8.) Emotional stability: Most people will agree with me that women are more "emotionally stable" than men, though men try so much to "mask' their emotions (since it is very unstable in the first place) thus for a man, shex is more of an 'Adventure' with less of emotional attachment. A man is more like the male chicken, he struts, chases and pounce on the fowl and after he has "downloaded", ... he is so disinterested and detached, as if nothing ever happened! It is now in the past! He can go back to his 'real love/wife' where his heart really lies and its as if nothing ever happened. He was not emotionally attached to the "shex act". Some "honestly dont even think" they have done anything wrong, to warrant all the fuse! They still love their wife as much as before, all they did was "conquer a seeming challenge"! I know for a woman this is not acceptable and l am not even advocating that it is but l am just painting a picture of "WHATS ON A MAN'S MIND" For a woman, they are more emotionally stable and dont get aroused that easily.... (if they do, they do a god job at containing it initially, unlike men!) ...but when they do, it has taken a lot of thought, incubation and conviction... and like a volcano, its eruption would not spare any "obstacle"! Men know that when she goes for 'it', its not just out of some adventure or some impulse.... it is a conscious decision that is laden with a 'solid backing of emotions". She has actually given out her heart. and men don like this at all! Actually, there is a school of thought that says when a wife cheats, she has thought it over seriously and concluded that her marriage is over and done with,....its just a matter of time, ..till when she is found out. Men understand this position and hence forgiveness may be difficult, knowing the above. Thus, one would understand when some women want to punish their hubby, they go lure and sleep with, his best friend! A man does not forget or forgive such act because he knows what was behind the act itself. Its like Murder, some kill for no reason, spontaneously (man) while some other murders, ....(yes, same result of death of another humanbeing as in the first case.... are so gruesome and calculated (woman) that the court Judge wishes he has a way of hanging the culprit first, then put him on an electric chair after that, before asking that he be[b] injected[/b] and finally be beheaded! ofcourse, the hanging alone would have done the job! In all, as unfair as it may sound, it is the truth that men dont cheat because they no longer love their wife or their marriage, to them, its an "act of adventure with no emotions attached" (Hit and run!) but for a woman, its signals a deeper problem and shows that "her soul has left the husband she is with, for the other man". We need not apportion blame here, but we can say instead of cheating on your spouse, have self control ....but if you cant, for whatever justification you want to put forward, be bold enough to accept responsibility and opt out of the marriage, instead of causing heartache to a loved one and the children. Lastpage! 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 3:32pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
Tallesty1: i see |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 3:33pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
Let's not just talk too much over this. A pusssy or let me say "a committed pusssy" is meant for one dicck, but a dicck, even a committed dicck is meant for or can access many pusssies without any issues. Take it or leave it, that is the truth. |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Grendel(m): 3:35pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
MzMariah: You don't know how powerful sex is? sex can solve so many problems when given at a right time . |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 3:46pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
bebe2: Stop corrupting my ears! |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by poik(m): 3:49pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
For those people screaming gender equality, the woman lost any such thing the day she lay with that serpent to bear Cain. Its there in Genesis 3. So cut the argument, there will be nothing like that till Jesus comes. I am sorry but its the clear, unclothed and saving truth. I don't subscribe to cheating from whatever sex in the maRriage, but even the Scripture is harder on women than on men. That's the way God made it. That's also the reason a woman CANNOT preach, that's in the church of the saints o. In balancing it also, the only Biblical reason a man can put away his wife is for fornication, and NOT adultery. Cheating is bad and punishable, and causes a whole lot of damage to the emotional, physical and psychological backbone of that institution. But while we are at it supposing the person who has calculated, analysed and thought over sleeping with an alien, dies in the process? Where will the person end up? Or has it not happened before? |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 3:49pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
,,,, |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by ifoundmyperfect: 3:51pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
missberrypop5: Just coz something is widely practiced doesn't make it rait. You are right about the perception of most nigerian men towards a woman. It started off from the days of our fore-fathers. This has been corrected to a large degree when folks saw the need to educate their girl child too. Its only a feeble illiterate woman that lacks orientation/enlightenment that would allow herself to get trampled on. The examples you cited are common amongst them. Some of una sef don't help matters n forcefully make ursef look like a rag-doll or more like a madam-easy-life. You lazy around with little or absolute no contribution to assist d man. As for me, I don't like that perception u raised, datz y I saw d need to correct you. We are product of the decision we make. Stand for what is right, not necessarily comforming to what is widely practice. There r still sane men out dere. |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Tallesty1(m): 3:51pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
cococandy:You sef............... I was very careful while writing this to ensure that I don't drag Christianity into it............at least not much because it will confuse everything. And I have been doing my best not to quote bible for anybody here(although I did to one guy who quoted many verses) That's why I told her to forget bible............ It will get worse if we should start quoting bible because it is harsh on women. Especially in the old testament. I won't quote it when it favours me. |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Orikinla(m): 3:53pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
Those who don't know how to forgive will never know how to love. The most unfaithful spouses are also the most jealous and the most unforgiving too. |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by lastpage: 3:57pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
faceURfront: Lagos no send o! I guess its as a result of all those vehicular fumes that tradition like that stop working in Lagos! Lastpage! |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by lastpage: 4:03pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
Grendel: ..And has caused many problems, when wrongly denied! I hear it in divorce cases everytime...even the LAW recognize it as a valid reason for divorce! Lastpage! |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Tallesty1(m): 4:03pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
cococandy:It is possible............ Maybe rare. I know a man that cheats on his wife, the wife is a lawyer by profession but she is not working presently. The man loves him to bits, he really do and if he spend 5k on/for his mistress he must take his wife out and spend 10 or 15k on/for her. A generous man I tell ya, Very Generous. |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Theblessed(f): 4:04pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
[size=16pt]You are asking why? It's simple - "A Head-cutter never likes his own head cut" and why? Because, he knows the implications that's why.[/size] |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Godmystrength: 4:04pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
Grendel:And did you bother to find out why she denied you? Human beings do not want to have sex EVERYTIME. And have you bothered to find out what she feels on those days when you are not around and she wants SEX? Maybe she was already anticipating the day you were coming only for her to be disappointed with the news that you will be away for four months as if the twice a month is even enough..... |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Mjjordan(m): 4:05pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
bebe2:chai!!!walai i don phall inlope witi dis yarinya alredy...you just pinched the nail on its head!!! |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by sucrev: 4:09pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
Tallesty1:just see what is happening in the entertainment industry. |
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by acada111(f): 4:22pm On Oct 08, 2014 |
timawoku: Na d fasting and prayer de make una fall for d pit na |
(1) (2) (3) ... (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (Reply)
Wife Dumps Her Son, Empties Husband's Shops, Elopes With School Boyfriend / Ekiti Man And His Oyinbo Wife Step Out In Style (Photos) / Why Do Girls Add Weight Or Get Fat In Their Huuby's House.
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 124 |