₦airaland Forum

What really stops u from approachin a lady?
Som say they are not intimidated. Agreed.
For those who consider a lady intimidating on her first appearance, what are your reasons?
Someone jst told me I am. And I find it hard to believe, cos I really am a warm person..
Opinions pls

No matter how intimidating a woman looks just walk to her and say your mind. Highest is am not interested.

Messilistic:
What really stops u from approachin a lady?
Som say they are not intimidated. Agreed.
For those who consider a lady intimidating on her first appearance, what are your reasons?
Someone jst told me I am. And I find it hard to believe, cos I really am a warm person..
Opinions pls

tell us more about yourself.....

I don't know what would make a man sight a woman and walk straight up to her to say his "mind". Is it love at first sight? Lust at first sight? or just irresponsiblity?
Since I don't believe in love at first sight, its either lust or he z just being randy. Anyways, am not a fan of that trend.

Richiy:
I don't know what would make a man sight a woman and walk straight up to her to say his "mind". Is it love at first sight? Lust at first sight? or just irresponsiblity?

it's called balls!

if i see a gadget i like, i walk up to the store &
make it mine without delay. if i see a woman i like, it's mandatory for me to approach her & say my mind. women love men with confidence & i mean classy women not the mgbeke breeds you often encounter in lagos with mannerless antics.

I've had a few guys tell me I have intimidating eyes. What does that even mean?
Guys answer o.

cococandy:
I've had a few guys tell me I have intimidating eyes. What does that even mean?
Guys answer o.

intimidating eyes?
don't mind them - they are too weak to admit they are scared of your ada mbaise status.

Someone ones sed its my confidence and aura. thing is I get along extremely well with almost everyone i come accross. I am very likeable on the long run. Not in first contact I guess. back in Uni days, had room mates who dint like my first appearance but till today we are best of frnds. Someone actually called me a snub and the honest truth is I dint even know who the person was. So i'm guessing its something about my first appearances

coogar:
tell us more about yourself.....

coogar:
it's called balls!

if i see a gadget i like, i walk up to the store &
make it mine without delay. if i see a woman i like, it's mandatory for me to approach her & say my mind. women love men with confidence & i mean classy women not the mgbeke breeds you often encounter in lagos with mannerless antics.

Anyways, that is not my ideal kinda display of confidence. It may be stereotypical but that does not show confidence to me.

Messilistic:
Someone ones sed its my confidence and aura. thing is I get along extremely well with almost everyone i come accross. I am very likeable on the long run. Not in first contact I guess. back in Uni days, had room mates who dint like my first appearance but till today we are best of frnds. Someone actually called me a snub and the honest truth is I dint even know who the person was. So i'm guessing its something about my first appearances

tell us more about your appearance....
height, size, and other vital stats.

Richiy:
Anyways, that is not my ideal kinda display of confidence. It may be stereotypical but that does not show confidence to me.

what's confidence to you? love letters?

coogar:
tell us more about your appearance....
height, size, and other vital stats.



what's confidence to you? love letters?

Confidence is when I see a genuinely and well thought out approach. Not something by the roadside to prove you are "man enough". Doesn't freak me Walahi.

Intimidating ke? EVERY women is my little sister.

Yes...including my mum.

Richiy:
Confidence is when I see a genuinely and well thought out approach. Not something by the roadside to prove you are "man enough". Doesn't freak me Walahi.

what's a well-thought approach is subjective!
smart guys know what to say & how to play the situation to their advantage. i have never been told off so i am 100% sure my scheme is tight!

coogar:
what's a well-thought approach is subjective!
smart guys know what to say & how to play the situation to their advantage. i have never been told off so i am 100% sure my scheme is tight!

Who is a smart guy is also subjective. Anyways, its still different strokes for different folks.

Richiy:
Who is a smart guy is also subjective. Anyways, its still different strokes for different folks.

smartness in approach, in appearance & in the choice of words. even if i agree it's subjective, the range is not that wide.

Richiy:
Confidence is when I see a genuinely and well thought out approach. Not something by the roadside to prove you are "man enough". Doesn't freak me Walahi.

I think you miss his point lil' miss.

When someone acts the way he means, its honest, spontaneous, smooth and come across as very NORMAL. Well, because it's normal.

Well thought out, on the other hand, always seem contrived, mechanical and even creepy.

Flytefalls I see you!

BuddhaPalm:
I think you miss his point lil' miss.

When someone acts the way he means, its honest, spontaneous, smooth and come across as very NORMAL. Well, because it's normal.

Well thought out, on the other hand, always seem contrived, mechanical and even creepy.

you must be very intelligent....

well-thought out approach can be so mechanical & if the woman has heard the scheme before, the whole plot fails even before it takes off. nah, I can always rely on my wits to sail me through & it's never failed me.

BuddhaPalm:
I think you miss his point lil' miss.

When someone acts the way he means, its honest, spontaneous, smooth and come across as very NORMAL. Well, because it's normal.

Well thought out, on the other hand, always seem contrived, mechanical and even creepy.

I could get carried away by the clarity and conciseness of your sentences. But, I wouldn't be blown away. Lol.

Anyways, that behavior isn't always honest. Most people that act that do it either out of extreme pride or out of chance. Doesn't seem too honest to me.

It is spontaneous alright but as for being smooth, a lot of them need lessons.


And for it being very normal...to the teenage age bracket, acceptable. Otherwise, unacceptable.


Well thought out seem more mature and understanding.

Finally, all I said is my opinion about it and it is subject to personal modifications.

coogar:
you must be very intelligent....

well-thought out approach can be so mechanical & if the woman has heard the scheme before, the whole plot fails even before it takes off. nah, I can always rely on my wits to sail me through & it's never failed me.

Uh uh...well thought out isn't mechanical at all. It doesn't entail stating cliches all around.

OP, don't take these things so seriously, there is no single rule for every woman and what doesn't work with one lady may work for THE one . Just have fun with it. It's possible men who approach me aren't being serious, meaning I've never been subjected to a "proper" chat up strategy, but experiences to date have been nothing other than hilarious . Be easy, no woman you don't know should be intimidating.

BuddhaPalm:
Flytefalls I see you!

I view you too boo

coogar:
you must be very intelligent....

well-thought out approach can be so mechanical & if the woman has heard the scheme before, the whole plot fails even before it takes off. nah, I can always rely on my wits to sail me through & it's never failed me.

Yes, and to be most precise, you are are actually relying on your instincts.

It has 'never' failed you because deep down in your core, as a man, you know how to be charismatic, and how to be a pímp.

Thinking fvcks up that natural rhythm.

Richiy:
I could get carried away by the clarity and conciseness of your sentences. But, I wouldn't be blown away. Lol.

Anyways, that behavior isn't always honest. Most people that act that do it either out of extreme pride or out of chance. Doesn't seem too honest to me.

It is spontaneous alright but as for being smooth, a lot of them need lessons.


And for it being very normal...to the teenage age bracket, acceptable. Otherwise, unacceptable.


Well thought out seem more mature and understanding.

Finally, all I said is my opinion about it and it is subject to personal modifications.

That's true, its not always honest. But...it doesn't matter.

Why? Because the part of your brain that processes that sort of data is...let's say, not very smart.

We can have this logical, intellectual conversation here for as long as we want. But in real-life, your more powerful emotions and pre-programmed instincts will override your intellect.

Women are not stupid, but they still date 'jerky' guys and even guys who abuse them physically. And its for a reason they really can't control


In Biology, there's something called 'Honest Signals', and it usually has to do with mate selection. An example is the peacock's flamboyant tail feathers.

That's no accident.

A fully pímped peacock is saying to all the peahens within 'eye-shot', "despite this excess appendage, that makes it more difficult for me to escape predators; despite these bright colours that make me stand out to hunters, I AM STILL ALIVE!". "I must be shít!"

That's an honest signal that cannot be easily be faked. So the hens line up to receive his seed. They are programmed to respond in that manner. Keyword being programmed.


Humans too, like all other animals, also have automatic, pre-programmed responses to these 'honest signals'. Think about 'make-up' and surgical implants for a minute.

Why are they so effective?

Because they mimic honest signals (that indicate youth and fertility), which in a primitive, ancestral environment were very hard or near impossible to fake.

That's why, we're still powerfully drawn to women with implants, even though we intellectually know they are fakes.


Everything Obama does is 'fake'. His gestures, speaking pattern, volume, smile, etc are all engineered for you to perceive him in a certain way - and it works flawlessly.

Wow, already a long post.

Let's just say that when a guy who behaves like cooger meets you in real life. You will just perceive him as warm, friendly and masculine.

I'm not intimidating enough and it pains me eh.

Richiy:
Confidence is when I see a genuinely and well thought out approach. Not something by the roadside to prove you are "man enough". Doesn't freak me Walahi.

What is your idea of 'well thought out approach'.
Sending kids with well branded T-shirts to sing a love song to you and present you with flowers and a card, going to your parents to enquire about your dowry, sending a brand new car as birthday gift?

You go wait tire joor. Too much romantic film is affecting you, walahi.

cococandy:
I've had a few guys tell me I have intimidating eyes. What does that even mean?
Guys answer o.

Picture or.............

jnrbayano:
Picture or.............

google it

coogar:
intimidating eyes?
don't mind them - they are too weak to admit they are scared of your ada mbaise status.

mabise girls don't bite. Especially the ADAs

BuddhaPalm:
Intimidating ke? EVERY women is my little sister.
Yes...including my mum.

Lol. Shey u dey call her "small girl come here quickly"

Messilistic:
Someone actually called me a snub and the honest truth is I dint even know who the person was. So i'm guessing its something about my first appearances

you must be a kindred spirit.
I get that more from females anyway. Because I'd rather sit in my corner and read or browse than talk about what Beyonce did last,they labeled me a snob. Besides I'm not good with faces so I don't remember people unless I have had a personal and impressive encounter with them. So if someone says hi expecting me to remember them and I don't,the next thing is to think I'm a snob.

It used to bother me until I figured out that there's nothing I can do about it. It's just me and I made peace with that part of me.

You just have to do the same than live your life trying to be who you're not in order to please some other folks.

@Op I have the exact same problem, alot of people think am a snub and unfriendly but in my case am very shy and find it hard to look someone in the eye. I think its affecting my love life because I don't get approached by men I only get stared at alot, it's funny because almost everyday am told how pretty I am and all of that and I dress well, am not fat I even workout. I guess I send a wrong vibe. How do I change this??

Fxwarrior:
What is your idea of 'well thought out approach'.
Sending kids with well branded T-shirts to sing a love song to you and present you with flowers and a card, going to your parents to enquire about your dowry, sending a brand new car as birthday gift?

You go wait tire joor. Too much romantic film is affecting you, walahi.

Firstly, am not a big fan of romantic movies. And that is most certainly not my idea of well thought out.
And what you listed above is not bad at all. If you cant do it, some people can. Though it doesn't really matter to me.

havilla:
@Op I have the exact same problem, alot of people think am a snub and unfriendly but in my case am very shy and find it hard to look someone in the eye. I think its affecting my love life because I don't get approached by men I only get stared at alot, it's funny because almost everyday am told how pretty I am and all of that and I dress well, am not fat I even workout. I guess I send a wrong vibe. How do I change this??

You can start the change by putting up your pic in your profile.
Then we can help tell you if anything needs to be changed and what.
Besides, I can almost guarantee you'll start getting a million approaches everyday, at least online....trust randy Nairaland guys

Only looser are intimidated by a lady's appearance.

She carry fire for head,worst she can do,or say "am not interested",then I go my way.