₦airaland Forum

Givemejoy:
...I'm a 33 yr old lady who just started getting her life back on track again. I'm always struggle financially but always managed somehow. Infact, I was unemployed for more than 3 yrs before getting my present job as a healthcare assistant in a hospital, which i've been doing for almost a year. And i thank God and appreciate Him for the miracle he performed in that area of my life.

Now unto my love life...I've been single and celibate for over 8 years....not out of choice but simply because no man and i emphasize on that phrase...NO MAN has ever asked me during that period. I've always EXTRA struggled in this area of my life....I've never been in luck with men...over my adult years...things have always happened that dampened my relationships. From long-distance relationships that started with no signs of moving to the next stage and fizzling out, to the ones that just got what they wanted from me and just left me...I wish i had the time and space to tell you about all the relationships i've had in the past and what happened in each of those relationships.

I've always prayed hard including my lovely mother. You see...i'm the only girl and last child of the family, i've got 3 older brothers. My mum has even been C&S church member for more than 25 years, she's even a 'mama ijo'. She takes prayers and fasting seriously and has always been steadfast in this dept. Infact, i never used to attend the church until my unemployment situation changed my mind. So, she's always prayed and fasted for her children's successes like any loving mother would do.

Now back to my current situation...I've always told myself that i don't want a relationship with a black man again especially a naija man because of their wahala. I've even made it a prayer point in my prayer requests.
So...it came as a surprise to me when one of my colleagues at work, who's also a healthcare assistant started coming onto me, always text me and asked about my welfare. He's a scottish guy and very charming.

Now to the dilemma in hand....

...he's 21 and i'm 33. I've tried to talk him out of it and asked him to leave me alone but he just won't let me go. The fact that we both work together in the same department(accident & emergency) is a major wahala because our colleagues will just be gossiping about it till no end in sight. Also, i know how 'our own' people would frown on such situations and it's unheard of. We worked together last night and when we were alone together, he kissed me and re-ignited something in me. Now...I know i should be in control of my emotions. It's so WRONG and yet it feels RIGHT.

He's such a lovely guy...he kept telling me that NO MAN has ever said to me before, telling me the places he'd like to take me, he even followed me on the underground to my station this morning. It's so scary and just keep asking myself if this is real.

I know this is probably one of the most difficult dilemmas that you had to voice your opinion on but I really do need your advice. Infact, as i'm typing this, i'm in tears and my heart is heavy.

Pls i need your advice

Gboliwe:
This should be very interesting.

*spreads mat*

someone is in tears and you are spreading mat...is this how low your IQ is?

vizkiz:
someone is in tears and you are spreading mat...is this how low your IQ is?

Gboliwe:
I hope you feel a lot better now? Great!

just a question. Some guys though

Gboliwe:
This should be very interesting.

*spreads mat*

MrsGoodness:
you had to quote the whole post to type this rubbish

vizkiz:
1.you are 12 years older than this dude. Believe me, you will looking like a sugar mummy to him.

2. 21years of age isn't ready for you kind of relationship IMO...cuz i don't think what you need now i just one "normal" dating stuff

3. Considering the "age" barrier, there are gonna be "hard times" in the relationship and are you sure you wouldn't work him out because he is younger?? (Believe me, you will)

4. You also need a man to take care of you and your "needs" not a small boy that will even add to your "needs"

My advice: don't be "desperate" to have a man (this will make you use your head and not your heart). Hope this helps a little