₦airaland Forum

Am just an amateur poet who wants to improve, so don't crucify me because of my mistakes.
Suicidal
So I sat on the sands
thinking of suicide
reminiscing on the past
I wish the day never passed

I couldn't help but ponder
Is life even worth living?
or am just being naive
to figure the real purpose of living

I'm suicidal now
but I want to fly high
high up in the sky
away from the world's fangs

Then I remembered her
She used to be my oxygen
but now my enemy
what a world I thought

Am smiling outside
but am crying inside
nobody knows what am going through
a seer can't even tell

Time to take my life
and leave this cold world
and be the free man I dreamt of
for am a gonner

Girl on veil

Her beauty is eye catching
Her calmness is alluring
Her gait is unrivalled
Her charm is unmatched

The way she sashays
The way she saunter
I can't help but wonder
If she's human or superhuman

The way her skin glows
The way her eyes shine
Has made me ponder
That she's beautifully created

Her well accentuated curves
Her disarming smile
Her mesmerizing elegance
Can make any man gasp
Oh Girl on veil your beauty has held me captive.

Laykorn purity1 ayozainy dre11 noble4d texanomaly rate me please.....

Awesome. Remember to post it in the NPC chatroom. Someone might do an extensive criticism on it.
Ayamlaykorn

I must say you did well keep trying dear you'll get there

Purity1:
I must say you did well keep trying dear you'll get there

Purity I saw your mention. I did a mental note to help you arrange it in verses and, I'll do that today. Apart from your structure you did a great job in every other thing. More ink to your pen Ma... Your choice of words are awesome. You can check the NCP Assignment thread and check if you'll be able to do this week's assignment. I'll get you registered if you will. Ikeola6,please check too.
Ayamlaykorn

ikeola6:
Girl on veil

Her beauty is eye catching
Her calmness is alluring
Her gait is unrivalled
Her charm is unmatched

The way she sashays
The way she saunter
I can't help but wonder
If she's human or superhuman

The way her skin glows
The way her eyes shine
Has made me ponder
That she's beautifully created

Her well accentuated curves
Her disarming smile
Her mesmerizing elegance
Can make any man gasp
Oh Girl on veil your beauty has held me captive.

Laykorn purity1 ayozainy dre11 noble4d texanomaly rate me please.....

I like the poem, u really tried but as Noble4d once told me, u need to punctuate your poem. It is very important

@ikeola6
I like ur style of writing and ur creative ways of bring out a poem

Ur second poem did speak to mah soul and I can relate with it

Keep it up


u can check this thread up for more brush up and style of writing poems
https://www.nairaland.com/1958923/rudiments-poetry

Okay Sirs and ma,I will try to improve and watch out for punctuations.