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Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by thiefnubu(m): 6:36am On Dec 06, 2014 |
1- The perpetual late comer: This one has an obsession with being noticed. She always 'majestically' dogwalks( not catwalk) into the church right in the middle of the service, swinging her small but 'standard' bumbum, head held high, and proceeds straight to the front row. Her 'long walk to freedom' most times succeeds in destabilizing the pious and godly 'Brothers in the Lord', who now have a hard time concentrating on 'Manna from above'. She is usually young, pretty, and very much a busybody. *marieolae* 2- The Extremely Gorgeous Chorister: This one is dropdead pretty, has an angelic voice, and is the church's golden girl. At times, she also leads praise and worship sessions. Her 'ministration' is most likely to lead a man to hell than heaven. Watching her 'dance to the Lord' is like watching soft porn.. It can cause a guy an embarrassing erection right there in the House of The Lord. She doesn't dress or act slutty, but her dressing and carriage is just modest enough to conceal the essentials, and revealing enough to make an aroused dude drop his whole month's salary into the offering Box. Too many brethren are seeking her hand in marriage, and she has her choice of pick among the church's most eligible bachelors. So she is a bit proud, condescending, and mostly unavailable if a guy tries to 'corner' her after church service. *Jennimma* 3- The loud ones: These girls usually come to church just to hoot, shout 'ride on pastor!', speak in tongues, and roll on the floor, during the pastor's Ministration. In my view, these are the Pastor's sycophants. They really make the Pastor look anointed, with all their psychedelic activity. They are the the ones who rush out when the pastor says that all virgins should come to the alter. They are also the ones who always fall around, breaking chairs, and alarming everyone , all in the name of being 'under the yoke of the anointing'. Stay away from these kind of girls, before them comot your eye, or cause u grave physical injury, while under their 'annointing'. *onila* 4- The 'Mummy's Girl': This one is always accompanied to church by her stern-faced mum. She is usually not older than 16, but looking very delectable and fresh. (You know that 'innocent freshness' girls usually have at one point in their teenage years, before 'everything' starts going south). A dude dare not come within talking distance of this chick. Her mum is far more interested in protecting her daughter's presumed innocence, than whatever it is the pastor is carrying on about. These are the kind of girls a guy can do nothing about, but admire from a safe distance, unless you wish to extend your investigation beyond God's House. *mzpreshie* 5- The young, beautiful and newly married girl: This one always has a permanent smile plastered on her face. Why she no go smile? She has broken the yoke of spinsterhood in grand style, and most unmarried sisters are envious of her 'progress'. Most of the time, she is married to a much older rich dude who is a member of the Pastor's inner caucus (the Church Cabal). She usually wears expensive wrappers, distracting headties (gele), and hardly stays at one place all through, and even after the service. No be her fault sha... Why she no go show herself? Husband don really scarce for town. *Kachisbarbie* NOTE: This work is mine... Not copied and pasted from anywhere ..... So please don't ask me about the source... I AM THE SOURCE 80 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by dechandel(f): 6:43am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Hmmmm |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 6:43am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Okay,i'm number 4...but my mum isnt "stern faced" na 4 Likes |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by thiefnubu(m): 6:45am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Jennimma:read it again... you are number 2 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 6:51am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Tinubu:Lolzzz...but i aint a choirster na 1 Like |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by chibwike(m): 6:52am On Dec 06, 2014 |
incase |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 6:52am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Yungwizzzy:cook? soft leaps? |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 6:54am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Tinubu: source please? 6 Likes |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 6:54am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 6:59am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Yungwizzzy:you must be mistaken. 2 Likes |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 7:06am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Tinubu:Chai!! Me, mummy's girl? Issorait... |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Chuukwudi(m): 7:08am On Dec 06, 2014 |
All these painticoastal churches sef. Such things don't happen in Anglican where I'm the organist. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by ggrin(f): 7:12am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Number one tho 1 Like |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Tallesty1(m): 7:17am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Yungwizzzy: |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by sarutobie(m): 7:24am On Dec 06, 2014 |
The ones who fall under number 3 are the most annoying! just shut up and let us concentrate on the sermon for pete's sake..dem go just dey do notice me with their "ride on pastor" ride to where exactly "yes pastor!" yes to wetin 5 Likes |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by yuncka: 7:26am On Dec 06, 2014 |
U forgot Sister.Grace, the one that comes to church when they are saying grace. And Sister.Eyerene, the one that will make U uncomfortable with constant cutting of eye. 11 Likes |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 8:01am On Dec 06, 2014 |
this op sha..... how do u manage to listen to the sermon when you are busy taking note of all these 'sisters' yaagaah.....once again I made it here on FP I dedicate this to all those who think it's over for them this year..... believe me, greater tinz are coming ur way bfr the runs out.. #dancingSHOKIwithSKELEWUbeatz# 1 Like |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 8:02am On Dec 06, 2014 |
nawa ooo But my husband no old na Hahahaha You come make am look like say I marry my ancestor... Every other thing is kinda correct except the breaking of yoke part/scarcity of husband. E no fit scarce for me ____ it just happened. I followed the instruction @my siggy......... 4 Likes |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Holywizard: 8:06am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Wot abt girls wey there breastz don fall sootee dem point to North-south direction |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by marieolae(f): 8:12am On Dec 06, 2014 |
no 1 is definitely not me. I'm always on time .. Infact, I laugh at the ladies that do this It drives me nuts. |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by chibwike(m): 8:20am On Dec 06, 2014 |
marieolae:So you actually unfollowed me coz of that...smh. |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by joseph1832(m): 8:34am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Tinubu:I love your creativity. Your "I am the source" yab is nice, could have said "I am the Force" but that wouldn't rhyme would it. |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 8:36am On Dec 06, 2014 |
I'm actually number 4. "mummy's girl" we come to church together, i don't leave her sight, she got her eyes on me 1 Like |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Dannylux: 9:04am On Dec 06, 2014 |
The number 4 category are always the prettiest, well, for me. It's quite ironic that these ones are the "no go area" since they are with their mums. You'd stare helplessly at each other with no move, Sunday after Sunday. Life. 3 Likes |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 9:18am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Jennimma: How? You wan deny me for here because you be Miss NL abi? lol Austin called me this morning ooo hmmm Abeg quick come |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Freest(m): 9:20am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Op God don catch you today... So na wetin u go dey do for church be this? Anyways good write up actually true though.. The one that hurts more is that number4... You can't do nothing about it! Just look and that's all there is to it! Hian!!! 1 Like |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by Nobody: 9:38am On Dec 06, 2014 |
I definitely need a new church! |
Re: Five Types Of Girls You Meet In Church by jvera(f): 10:14am On Dec 06, 2014 |
no 1 reminded of gal...ws invited to a church nd a gal actually wore a high waist jegens wit crop top nd heels while d pastor ws preachin she stood up goin to d offering box to sow seed catwalkin.... everyone atention focused on ha forgetin d pastor ws preachin. |
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