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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Politics / Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi (2793 Views)
A Buharist And A Jonathanian Hug Each Other (pic) / “if APC Survive One Year, Call Me A Bastard” – Doyin Okupe / ACN To GEJ- Fire Okupe And Apologize To Nigerians (2) (3) (4)
Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by smsshola(m): 12:12am On Dec 17, 2014 |
COLUMN: PIUS ADESANMI What’s in a name? Nothing, says Western culture, for a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Everything, say the cultures of Africa, for every name is a messenger, running errands of family history and circumstances of birth for its bearer. That is why an African seldom jokes with the interjection: call me this or call me that. Self-naming is serious business, very serious business in Africa. Doyin Okupe, one of the caterwauling blights on Nigerian manhood currently littering Aso Rock, said to call him a bastard if APC survived the first year of its formation. It is time for Nigerians to obey his instruction and grant him the Chieftaincy title he requested: Bastard Doyin Okupe. I hope you understand that I did not call him a bastard. He insisted and who am I not to respect a man’s wish to be called a bastard? If you want to know how to handle a man’s calabash, watch him and study how he handles it himself. Although he is sadly in his sixties – I say sadly because his behaviour always suggests that he is trapped in a pre-teenage stage of development – the patriarchs in Ogun state need to summon Doyin Okupe and flog him in a public assembly. It is rare to see a Yoruba elder in Doyin Okupe’s station do so much damage to his culture because he either misunderstands it or his desire for stomach infrastructure stands in the way of wisdom. “Call me this if that does not happen” is a commonplace Yoruba cultural formula. Like all cultural formulas, it is not to be used by fools. Any secondary school kid in Yoruba land knows that you wield that mode of discourse only when you are absolutely certain of the results of what you are boasting about. Call me a bastard if January is not succeeded by February; call me a bastard if PHCN provides one year of uninterrupted power supply all over the country in 2015; call me a bastard if the EFCC ever prosecutes Olusegun Obasanjo, Abdulsalam Abubakar, and other beneficiaries of the $180 million Halliburton scandal. These are three contexts a Yoruba person would deem appropriate for that cultural formula because it is certain that none of the propositions would ever happen. However, call me a bastard if a political party lasts a year? Only a very foolish Yoruba person would say this. You know that this person is foolish because the more you slice off his fingers, the more he insists on wearing diamond rings. Doyin Okupe is now into the business of comparing his boss with Jesus Christ. Suddenly, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Barack Obama, and Lee Kuan Yew are no longer enough for these deranged minds in Aso Rock. Oga Goodluck Jonathan is now better than all these people put together. Trust Doyin Okupe. He did not even stop at the Pope. He went directly for Jesus Christ. He even forgot that there is no vacancy for a second Jesus Christ in Aso Rock. Evans Bipi already named Patience Jonathan Jesus Christ over a year ago. Patience Jonathan accepted the honour and returned from Germany claiming to have raised Lazarus from the dead. Which of the two Jesuses in Aso Rock will step down for the other now? There is something else I like about Yoruba culture. There is a point at which that culture determines that somebody’s behaviour has become so outrageous that you stop blaming him or holding him to account. Yoruba culture will migrate to the person’s kinsmen and ask them critical questions. The moment Doyin Okupe started comparing his Oga with Jesus Christ for the simple reason that what he will eat is standing in the way of wisdom, you are unlikely to find anybody in Yoruba land still blaming the man. Instead, questions will be asked of his kinsmen, his molebi in Ogun state. What did Doyin do? Who did he offend and what is the scale of his offence that you, his kinsmen, would fold your arms and watch him dance naked in the public square all the time? Why did you allow him to cross the market? Does he not have molebi in this town? What is his olori ebi – family head – doing about his matter? Are you his kinsmen just going to be looking at him? Won’t you do something? Ee ni jade si oro Doyin ni? I am sure these questions are being asked of Doyin Okupe’s kinsmen already. Doyin Okupe is not the only one who has suffered misadventures recently in the field of naming. President Jonathan and the career Jonathanians who worship him on social media are also suffering from a crisis of identity. One of the rules of naming is that people tend to associate you with whatever you speak approvingly of. In certain cases, it could become your sobriquet. If I speak approvingly of football all the time, people could start calling me Pele or Messi. Whatever you approve of is usually a pointer to how you wish to be called. I am not sure that President Jonathan and career Jonathanians understand this basic rule. We must therefore break it down for them to help them avoid the pitfall of poor self-naming in the future. President Jonathan went on prime time TV to proclaim that stealing is not corruption. He reprimanded those who take corruption too seriously for misunderstanding ordinary, mere, simple cases of stealing. Watching him, I told myself that he was very effective in making stealing look like the new cool in Nigeria. At first, career Jonathanians were stunned on social media. It was such a huge gaffe on the part of their Orisha that they initially did not know what to do about it. Then, like a herd, they started cutting and slicing the statement; defending it; justifying it; rationalizing it; explaining it; accounting for it; mitigating it; diluting it. As is usual with career Jonathanians, they forgot their Orisha who made the error and turned against Nigerians who dared to scrutinize it. They hounded the nation. You must accept Oga’s premise that stealing is not corruption or you’re a hater. Perhaps the most celebrated instance of Jonathanian defence of the maxim, stealing is not corruption, happened when I delivered Pastor Tunde Bakare’s 60th birthday lecture recently in Lagos. Our brother and recent convert to career Jonathanism, Governor Olusegun Mimiko of Ondo state, was on the high table with us. He kept wincing in pain and discomfort throughout my lecture. Stealing is not corruption was one of the planks of my lecture. I got a standing ovation after it. Governor Mimiko was asked to respond. He spent almost forty minutes philosophizing President Jonathan’s statement. He defended, polished, cleaned up, explained, rationalized, disinfected. He was sweating. He accused me and the rest of the country of having not taken the time to research corruption and stealing. We have not theorized it enough. We have no research archives. Once we understand the theory of stealing and corruption, we would have a deeper understanding of President Jonathan’s statement. The audience booed him. Sahara Reporters later published the video. In essence, for President Jonathan and career Jonathanians, there is nothing wrong with the statement stealing is not corruption. We got tired of their harassment and granted them their wish of calling them what they wanted to be called. Oga Jonathan went to Obafemi Awolowo University, Ife, and some students shouted “Ole! Ole! Ole! Thief! Thief! Thief!” You’d think that career Jonathanians would be happy. After all, they’d spent months on social media screaming themselves hoarse and saying there is nothing wrong with the President’s beatification of stealing on national television in broad daylight. If there is nothing wrong with that statement, why is your mental carburetor suddenly overheating because some students called your Oga what he wishes to be called? Career Jonathanians went into overdrive on social media. They screamed. They hee-hawed. I laughed really hard, reading and watching their contortions. At first, they said it did not happen. Then they said Sahara Reporters manufactured the story. Then they said that only a handful of students sponsored by APC screamed at the president. Then they said that even if it happened, it was rude and unpatriotic to call the President a thief – a president who had found a moral euphemism to rationalize stealing on national TV! As we approach 2015, we must advise President Jonathan, his handlers, and career Jonathanians on social media: self-naming is a serious business. This is no time for you to suffer an identity crisis in the theatre of naming. You cannot say, one minute, that stealing is not corruption is the greatest philosophical statement of the century and turn around, the next minute, to burst a vein when the author of the said statement is called a thief. That is called confusion break bones. Make up your minds what you wish to be called. 18 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by reporter1: 12:22am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Great piece! Always a joy to read Pius Adesanmi. Let me help Okupe too in proclaiming his real identity. Okupe you are a bastard. 7 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Nobody: 12:23am On Dec 17, 2014 |
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Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by deji68: 12:28am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Prof u don forget the word decorum calling people bastard because of their views is uncouth 2 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Jack65: 12:29am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Lol! I love Pius! This is a perfectly written piece. How can a grown man like Okupe, a public servant make such comment. Well, we will all be calling a Bastard from now or in a year. 1 Like |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Jack65: 12:33am On Dec 17, 2014 |
deji68:Did you even read the article or did you just rush to comment? Please take the time and read it and you will understand. Okupe already called himself a bastard! 17 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by deji68: 12:55am On Dec 17, 2014 |
“There are moments in life, when the heart is so full of emotion That if by chance it be shaken, or into its depths like a pebble Drops some careless word, it overflows, and its secret, Spilt on the ground like water, can never be gathered together" Henry wadsworth I read it, even if Doyin said that .....I think Prof should be mature enough to avoid using the word, the write up is too emotional, betraying his political allegiance ...He should control his emotions and remain objective Jack65: 1 Like |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by personal59: 1:01am On Dec 17, 2014 |
deji68:He said Nigerians should. Call him bastard if APC last a yr 2 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Afamdman(m): 1:12am On Dec 17, 2014 |
personal59:i guess they just did. 2 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Jack65: 1:12am On Dec 17, 2014 |
deji68: Common bros, I think you are the one being biased here, so you don't have anything to say about the way Doyin Okupe has been recklessly running his mouth lately.? 4 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by orobs93(m): 1:43am On Dec 17, 2014 |
I pity okupe blasphemy is one thing the bible detest with all its authority...and doyin was so confident and bold and crowned somebody jesus christ I know is little boy or gal knows the truth...all because of money.i rest my case. 1 Like |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by mistabiola: 1:43am On Dec 17, 2014 |
smsshola: Standing Ovation for PIUS, I never get bored while reading. #goodPiece 3 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by karlmax2: 1:56am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Quarter system prof.Bihari also told Nigerians that abacha never stole.if the prof is not a fool he would know that a Christian mean Christ like. If the prof is not a fool he would have told us the dictionary definination of stealing and corruption . no wonder we have so many ignorant and halfbaked graduates in Nigeria .when we have fools and illetrates as professors 1 Like |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by edesumpitor: 2:52am On Dec 17, 2014 |
I am very happy.That Bastard Okupe can even promote Jonathan 'shit' as the best food. 2 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Nobody: 4:39am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Jack65:bros, do not mind the yeye guy. He is a Jonathanian and the article affects him. 2 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by NinaD: 5:45am On Dec 17, 2014 |
mistabiola:I'm with u 3 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by RockMaxi: 6:15am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Okupe have used his own mouth to turn his career to an abysmal dysfunctional one. He has assumed the uncomfortable state of "the head must carry a load to be able to feed the mouth". If Okupe is not threatening the Citizenry, he will be comparing his master to a messiah. What a pity. Thank you PIUS ADESANMI for this great piece. 3 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by mistabiola: 6:38am On Dec 17, 2014 |
YOU DONT NEED TO BE A GRADUATE TO KNOW THAT; *Am not going to vote for someone who once had no shoes and school bags as a student but now has lots of shoes and bags but made students go on strike for about Eight ( months. *NEVER, am not going to vote for someone who could not rescue about 230 school girls but still has plan to rule a country of about 200million people. *NEVER, am not going to vote for a grown up man who took advice from a 17year old girl (pakistan little girl) before he could make his own decision. *NEVER, Am not going to vote for a black commander of Army who brought white marine soldiers to do his job for him and still yet nothing was done. *NEVER, Am not going to vote for a government who could not provide job for my elder sister who has a Master Degree. *NEVER, am not going to vote for a man that Boko Haram are killing his own people everyday and has no plan on how to stop the killing but can’t wait a minute when military took over power in Burkina Faso, he went there to stop the killing over there in Burkina Faso but could not stop the killing in his country. *Finally am not going to vote for anybody who needs One Billion American Dollar to solve an Insurgency (Boko Haram) while the ordinary man on the street no even get (#100) hundred naira to eat. You can scold me for speaking the truth, dont forget the truth is bitter. All we need is CHANGE and nothing else…. Please we all need to get our (PVC) Permanent Voters Card to vote this Clueless, Visionless and Wicked Government of Goodluck Ebola Jonathan (GEJ) out power. Another four years of Jonathan will be doom for us. Please dont sell your vote cause the money they will offer you can not sustain you for another four years. We should all stand up and say Capital NO to Jonathan. 8 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by kokoA(m): 6:38am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Okupe reminds me of that minister of justice during yaradua era, Michael Andokaa who once said according to the constitution, Yaradua embodies the presidency so he can govern from anywhere.. 1 Like |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by jacabi(m): 6:44am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Doyin don suffer. "Ee ni jade si oro Doyin ni". 3 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Nobody: 6:44am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Jack65:You spoke my mind. 1 Like |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Yazmin: 6:45am On Dec 17, 2014 |
karlmax2: At least we can recognize Bastards and appropriately call them as such based on their approvals. Mr. Educated, kindly copy and paste your comment on Ms Word. If you don't see up to 3 errors in spelling, call me B*s....d.... 7 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by 9jii(m): 6:47am On Dec 17, 2014 |
PDP RUMOUR MONGERS AND LIES PEDDLERS ARE ON THE MISSION TO CORRUPT THE MINDS OF GULLIBLE ONES. 2 Likes |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Nobody: 6:59am On Dec 17, 2014 |
He went directly for Jesus Christ. He evenWe have two Jesus in Aso Rock. Jesus of Evans Bipi and Jesus of Jonathanians 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Nobody: 6:59am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Hahahahahaha!! Mr Pius,no need for long talk. Here on Nairaland, Doyin Okupe has been endorsed,stamped,sealed and certified a SUPER BASTARD . Omo Ale jati jati ni Doyin Okupe. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Caseless: 7:14am On Dec 17, 2014 |
karlmax2: 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Caseless: 7:17am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Okupe, u are a bastard! Where are the career jonathanian like phockphockman and sincere9igerian? 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by sheymoni(m): 7:22am On Dec 17, 2014 |
I'm not surprised at all, okupe has been a bastard since 2011. His family need to go spiritual to help him out 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Jimwalex(m): 7:25am On Dec 17, 2014 |
i enjoy every bit of this article.i think is high time somebody called that old man to order..i just hope that the Jonathanians would allow it to hit FP 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by lakpalakpa: 7:26am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by smartigo: 7:35am On Dec 17, 2014 |
Caseless: Lol. Correct him naa. Quota system. @karlmax2, you even have the effrontery to call a professor a fool while u can't spell correctly. Take note: definition, illiterate |
Re: Bastard Doyin Okupe And Other Jonathanian - By Pius Adesanmi by Caseless: 7:43am On Dec 17, 2014 |
smartigo:he was calling a prof an illiterate. How do u correct such person? |
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