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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Unbiased Advised Needed PLS (4529 Views)
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Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by eagleeye2: 4:30pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
@Wendy80 Maybe your cousin need to take her precious time and wait. I just hope that the stigma of being an after one will not be a stumbling block in future. 1 Like |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by okiezman(m): 4:31pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
eagleeye2: Mehn ur not from igbo please....it ain't his son.... or ur igbo is the one outside nigeria |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by eagleeye2: 4:32pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
aisha2:Thank God no be only me don see or hear this type of stop. 1 Like |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by MARKone(m): 4:35pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
In some culture, it is a taboo, marrying a woman, who is pregnant for another man. Your cousin should wait, give birth, nurture the child for at least one year, before talking about settling down with another man, while at it, your family should talk to the young man to exercise some patience, and wait till then. If he persists, that is a red flag that should be looked deeply into. |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by eagleeye2: 4:38pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
okiezman:Bro, I am from Abia, I live and work there too. Ask your elders if you are not sure. Being a sperm donor does not necessarily qualify you as a FATHER. A certain politician in Imo State became a senator there because his father didn't wife his mother, and his mother's people adopted him. When his opponent tried to use it against him, the elders clearly clarified things for them. Once again ask your elders. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by okiezman(m): 4:47pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
eagleeye2: You musnt wife someone before a kid is yours all you need do is send money for upkeep and everything money is needed for before and after pregnancy and the kid is yours simple...if he doesn't do that then he will be deprived of the kid |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by eagleeye2: 5:17pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
okiezman:Oga, the man who impregnated the lady is not ready to wife her. we weren't told, if he accepted to take responsibilities for the baby or not. But, why I quoted you was because you said my earlier assertion is not done in Igbo land. Thus am not Igbo. Assuming the man does not take responsibility for the baby, and this second man marries her with the pregnancy. Who becomes the father of the baby? 2 Likes |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by okiezman(m): 5:53pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
eagleeye2: If the man don't take responsibility in financial way at all then he will forget the child that's all |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by Nobody: 5:58pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
okiezman:In Igbo land, all they recognise is the person that pays the girl's bride-price. So, if a girl becomes pregnant, whoever comes to pay her bride-price is recognised as the father of the baby. 3 Likes |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by Nobody: 6:08pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
Wendy you have not stated the tribe of this man lets see if it correlates with what's been said. For me, i believe the answer lies with your cousin. Talk her to tell you what her heart truelly feels aside from fear of her past. If she is at peace with the guy's proposal earasing any atom of greed/selfishness, then she should go ahead at her own terms which should be readily accepted by the guy if really it is love. She should ask for like 3-4 months from now to be able to settle and be sure of things, then he can pay just her bride price in small private family gathering. That should make her his wife by right. They can then do a big wedding after the child's born say in a year's time. She can as well add other feasible terms to which both families will be witnesses so that if things go wrong, bride price can be quietly refunded. If after shifting ground like this and he is not willing to compromise, then it is not a good sign. |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by okiezman(m): 6:10pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
MarvellousGod: You musnt pay bride price in igboland to be the fathers baby, all you need do is send money for upkeep simple |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by Wendy80(f): 6:47pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
I appreciate Ur contributions. The truth is, she asked him to hold on for now. She's bidding her time to think thru it all. When I asked her what she really wants, she said She's afraid her chances of getting a Suitor is low as a single mother hence she's considering his offer now but on the other hand she feels it's all too sudden she might make a mistake again. That's whr we are now. |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by eagleeye2: 7:17pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
okiezman:Nna biko ga ju ese, iko anaghi enwe nwa. . Translation: Boyfriend doesn't own a baby. Either the baby bears It's maternal surname, or the baby bears the name of the man who paid bride price on the head of the mother. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by eagleeye2: 7:19pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
Wendy80:Marriage is a serious affair...... if she is very confused, then let her have her baby and be ready for any outcome. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by okiezman(m): 7:27pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
eagleeye2: Ok Gej till 2019 anyway |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by eagleeye2: 7:32pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
okiezman:wetin concern GEJ, with matter wey dey ground? abeg no derail this thread. 2 Likes |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by okiezman(m): 7:34pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
eagleeye2: Gej till 2019 |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by okiezman(m): 7:35pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
eagleeye2: Well the court is greater than every law in the country and it's what guides us they don't care about your tradition, and court didn't say if you don't pay bride price the baby ain't yours that's it |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by eagleeye2: 7:40pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
okiezman:Go back and read the analogy I cited. Even the court will not give an irresponsible father custody of a baby. There have been many instances where this kind of thing has happened before. You got a woman pregnant, and bailed on her and you want thew court to give you custody of her child. smh 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by okiezman(m): 7:42pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
eagleeye2: The court will only tell you to take full responsibility financially for you baby...but to deny you the baby na lie ogbeni |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by Winneygirl(f): 1:49am On Dec 23, 2014 |
As long as she is not ready, let her not be pressured into anything with the new guy. . Knowing what made U fall before will help U make a better decision next time. . She cannot proceed here if all she can say is She does not know why things went horribly wrong with the first guy. Besides, there's truly a gap in the story. Something went amiss in that first relationship. She has to find out that missing piece. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by Nobody: 8:02am On Dec 23, 2014 |
@eagleeye, you have time for blind argument. ... The guy obviously lives in France and so doesn't know shit about igbo land. . 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by Youngpo413: 10:42am On May 16, 2015 |
Abiagirl777:I wonder |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by elohorayodele: 2:20pm On May 27, 2015 |
Wendy80: are they married now? and has she put to bed? |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by Wendy80(f): 2:45pm On May 27, 2015 |
elohorayodele: He didn't marry her too many issues and yes she's put to bed. |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by elohorayodele: 2:49pm On May 27, 2015 |
Wendy80: congrats and thank God for safe delivery. |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by Youngpo413: 9:56am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Wendy80:and she is happy to be a single mum,some ladies sha. |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by Wendy80(f): 10:35am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Youngpo413: D harm has bn done already. Should she kill herself or the baby cos she doesn't wanto be a single Mum? 2 Likes |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by Youngpo413: 10:43am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Wendy80:No,what I mean is she should had married the man that impregnated her. |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by Wendy80(f): 11:27am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Youngpo413:Obviously u didn't read the OP. 1 Like |
Re: Unbiased Advised Needed PLS by baralatie(m): 11:43am On Jul 05, 2015 |
so he far naa |
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