₦airaland Forum

I'm not married but I hope to do so in the near future. A major fear that grips me is the thought of increased responsibilities that come with marriage. Many mouths to feed, increased expenses which will be spent majorly on your family than yourself, you lose your freedom to an extent, you cant just up and do whatever at any time cause you have dependants and majorly time; personal time is lost as you have to sacrifice some for your family.
Marriage is not a bad idea though but as I mulled over these thoughts on a trip recently, i started to jot down some things I know I can't do once I get married. I still have like 2 years on my clock before my proposed marriage age and I will strive to complete these tasks before then. I have a list but I feel some things are being left out.

I need married folks to open up for me here, what are those stuff you wish you did when you were still single and free? Men and women are free to contribute.

laivwire:
I'm not married but I hope to do so in the near future. A major fear that grips me is the thought of increased responsibilities that come with marriage. Many mouths to feed, increased expenses which will be spent majorly on your family than yourself, you lose your freedom to an extent, you cant just up and do whatever at any time cause you have dependants and majorly time; personal time is lost as you have to sacrifice some for your family.
Marriage is not a bad idea though but as I mulled over these thoughts on a trip recently, i started to jot down some things I know I can't do once I get married. I still have like 2 years on my clock before my proposed marriage age and I will strive to complete these tasks before then. I have a list but I feel some things are being left out.

I need married folks to open up for me here, what are those stuff you wish you did when you were still single and free? Men and women are free to contribute.

Why do you see marriage as a do or die affair?

Does choosing to remain single for the rest of your life if it suits you, make you any less of a human being?

EfemenaXY:
Why do you see marriage as a do or die affair?

Does choosing to remain single for the rest of your life if it suits you, make you any less of a human being?

Nah, Marriage isn't a do or die for me. Matter of fact I look forward to it. I don't plan to remain single till I die #PersonalChoice

You are married, no?

laivwire:
Nah, Marriage isn't a do or die for me. Matter of fact I look forward to it. I don't plan to remain single till I die #PersonalChoice

You are married, no?

How can you say you look forward to an event that causes you "major fear" when you think about it? Is that normal?

Pls where are the married members of NL?

EfemenaXY:
How can you say you look forward to an event that causes you "major fear" when you think about it? Is that normal?

Of course I can, marriage has its good and bad sides just like many other things. Can't win them all so I'm prepared for that.

Mprex:
Pls where are the married members of NL?

we are here just want to see the comments of some foolish single before comment ni



brb

I sure die dis thing go reach front page. Sorry op nothing to contribute to d topic.

moscobabs:
we are here just want to see the comments of some foolish single before comment ni



brb

tell us na. What are those things you wished you had done when you were still single

laivwire:
Of course I can, marriage has its good and bad sides just like many other things. Can't win them all so I'm prepared for that.

So you're prepared to go into something that grips you with major fear, merely thinking about it, and the responsibilities it entails.

Do you shy away from responsibilities? Why do you mention it in your initial post as an issue?

Mprex:
tell us na. What are those things you wished you had done when you were still single

OK
I wished I had bought a car and built my own house before marriage.

but all my efforts were fruitless then.but to be sincere with you guys in less than 2 yrs of my wedding I was able to acquire those assets and im leaving fine with my family.infact I wished I had married before now.

pls my bro and sister marriage is not a burden infact it makes burden more lighter, before I got married I incurred more expenses because I like been in a mist of ladies and I spend more than budgeted for my friends,my family members used to bring their problems to my head and I responsible for most of their expenses but since I married they realized that Im now a man with higher responsibilities so they expect less fm me, its only me and my spouse that understand everything about our financing .

Just be prayerful and be calm dnt just get into marriage. let ur spouse understand what u want in marriage and u guys should plan together.
marriage is the best thing that can happen to mankind, is a great achievement as far as am concern. got married at age 27 and my wife was 27 also now we are going to 31.and we have achieved more than half of what average human being are pursuing in life.

Gudluck to you all!!!

ok

moscobabs:
OK
I wished I had bought a car and built my own house before marriage.

but all my efforts were fruitless then.but to be sincere with you guys in less than 2 yrs of my wedding I was able to acquire those assets and im leaving fine with my family.infact I wished I had married before now.

pls my bro and sister marriage is not a burden infact it makes burden more lighter, before I got married I incurred more expenses because I like been in a mist of ladies and I spend more than budgeted for my friends,my family members used to bring their problems to my head and I responsible for most of their expenses but since I married they realized that Im now a man with higher responsibilities so they expect less fm me, its only me and my spouse that understand everything about our financing .

Just be prayerful and be calm dnt just get into marriage. let ur spouse understand what u want in marriage and u guys should plan together.
marriage is the best thing that can happen to mankind, is a great achievement as far as am concern. got married at age 27 and my wife was 27 also now we are going to 31.and we have achieved more than half of what average human being are pursuing in life.

Gudluck to you all!!!

thanks for sharing say me hy to wifey

I wish I spent more of my time sleeping .

Try committing suicide before marriage

moscobabs:
OK
I wished I had bought a car and built my own house before marriage.

but all my efforts were fruitless then.but to be sincere with you guys in less than 2 yrs of my wedding I was able to acquire those assets and im leaving fine with my family.infact I wished I had married before now.

pls my bro and sister marriage is not a burden infact it makes burden more lighter, before I got married I incurred more expenses because I like been in a mist of ladies and I spend more than budgeted for my friends,my family members used to bring their problems to my head and I responsible for most of their expenses but since I married they realized that Im now a man with higher responsibilities so they expect less fm me, its only me and my spouse that understand everything about our financing .

Just be prayerful and be calm dnt just get into marriage. let ur spouse understand what u want in marriage and u guys should plan together.
marriage is the best thing that can happen to mankind, is a great achievement as far as am concern. got married at age 27 and my wife was 27 also now we are going to 31.and we have achieved more than half of what average human being are pursuing in life.

Gudluck to you all!!!

This post has given me motivation. Infact i am getting married tomorrow sef.

i wish i had MILKED Bill gates before settling down....#sadface#

#seconded#fellow comrade in the marriage business.

moscobabs:
we are here just want to see the comments of some foolish single before comment ni



brb

Frankly nothing.

I did it ALL already. Good, bad, badder, baddest.

No regrets ooo. Nothing would move or wow me again cos i've either done or seen or heard it.

Hopefully

Depends on the kind of life you lived as a single.

Met hubby first year in University so there was no opportunity to do/try anything if I was inclined to do so (which I am not)

I cannot think of anything I am missing (not interested in clubbing/drinking/messing about) etc.

When kids come, I believe I would miss sleep and me time for a while.

That something grips u with fear does not mean u can't do it if u want... that's probably called boldness. It's like d OP imagines that being married is going to be very scary, he highlighted his fears, but like moscobabs seemed to be saying, d joy outweighs d fear.

Apart from an education and growing into me, many of my acheivements happened while married
Marriage shouldnt stop you from doing anything . . . .I am refering to good things here.
So if you want to womanise or club 7 days a week, then I beg do all that before you marry

Yes marriage comes with a lot of responsibilty and a lot of time will be spent on growing and nuturing your family
But everything is a phase in life and even in marriage. You wont be changing diapers, helping with homework and cleaning runny noses forever
There will also come a time when you wont have to work so many hours to put food on the table
But once crucual thing is to remember to enjoy the marriage when you are going through all those phases cos that is what will keep you going.

Mprex:
thanks for sharing say me hy to wifey

I will show her your post..thanks very much

I believe before you venture into marriage,you must have conditioned your mind and ready to embrace anything that comes with it.Do away with fear and enter it with an open mind to avoid regrets which will only cripple you and make you miserable.Looking at it religiously God instituted marriage for a good course so evaluate yourself well whether you are ready and matured enough to endure whatever may come out of it which i believe will most atimes be the positive ones.

byvan:
I wish I spent more of my time sleeping .

.... Guess you have kids...


Op, you should derive joy from doing those things you mentioned above except maybe you're a selfish person or ain't mentally ready for marriage. .. who counts spending time with his family, spending on his wife and kids, etc as burden? ?

MarvellousGod:
.... Guess you have kids...


Op, you should derive joy from doing those things you mentioned above except maybe you're a selfish person or ain't mentally ready for marriage. .. who counts spending time with his family, spending on his wife and kids, etc as burden? ?

I have been so sleep deprived that I now find hard to sleep .