Good nairalanders its with heavy heart am writing this piece. I will need all the good advise I can get to find a way out of this quaremire.

My wedding is fixed for the 17/03/2018 and invitations have been sent out and virtually every thing is in place

Now the problem is my mother who is bent on spoiling the occasion. I leave out town so is my fiancée though we have planned on relocating so we could close to her.

The problem all started when she introduce me to a lady. Before now I have introduced 2 wonderful ladies to her which she objected to, with no concrete reason why I shouldn't marry any of them. For peace to reign I let go of those relationship. In time she connected me with a lady, I tried but I never connected with her we were just parallels. So I called it off, after much preaching and persuasions from her pastors she allowed me. We fixed date for my traditional wedding only for mum to wake up on the trad day that she is not going.

With the white wedding my mum is always true to her word. Now what is the best way to go about these.

This is serious.

Are you the only son or the only child?

Brooke60:
Are you the only son or the only child?

Am not she did same thing to my elder siblings

Why will ur mummy give u this kind of unnecessary headache..

Man what bout ur dad, she didn't attend the trad wedding, in as much as u love ur woman proceed with the wedding, it is u that's getting married not her, but she won't make things easy for ur Lady and maybe u, but she would get tired and accept with time, only GOD knows how long.

If she had given reasons it would have made more sense.
As much as God makes us respect our parents, sometimes you just have to disobey.Why ?, they are not always right .
She is just being over protective and scared on your behalf.
Parents should learn that you should advice your children and not control them.Thats why good upbringing is important.She should let you be biko
I was faced with a life altering decision once, and my Dad tried to control me, but I knew what I wanted .I told him "You have trained me, now you have to trust me that I know what I am doing, if you don't trust me, at least trust your training and upbringing in me to do the right thing".I was like 19 then It was hard standing up to him(person wey dey throw punch anyhow), but I had to "Man Up" and I have not regretted that decision ever since .The time has come for you to "Man Up", just be sure she is good enough for you because , if you "Man up" finish and she come mess up, your Maale go talk say "Shebi I tell you". Man Up !!!!, your wife is looking up to you to fight for her, because if you don't end this Military rule now, it would follow you till Maale signs off from earth.

Donald3d:
If she had given reasons it would have made more sense.
As much as God makes us respect our parents, sometimes you just have to disobey.Why ?, they are not always right .
She is just being over protective and scared on your behalf.
Parents should learn that you should advice your children and not control them.Thats why good upbringing is important.She should let you be biko
I was faced with a life altering decision once, and my Dad tried to control me, but I knew what I wanted .I told him "You have trained me, now you have to trust me that I know what I am doing, if you don't trust me, at least trust your training and upbringing in me to do the right thing".I was like 19 then It was hard standing up to him(person wey dey throw punch anyhow), but I had to "Man Up" and I have not regretted that decision ever since .The time has come for you to "Man Up", just be sure she is good enough for you because , if you "Man up" finish and she come mess up, your Maale go talk say "Shebi I tell you". Man Up !!!!, your wife is looking up to you to fight for her, because if you don't end this Military rule now, it would follow you till Maale signs off from earth.

Bless you brother.

emeijeh:
The story is not straight forward.



Your mum seems to be your god

She's not my God but she went through a lot raising us kids. Making her happy for all the pains is the least I can do

bright0311:


Bless you brother.

You too sir

whitebeard:
Why will ur mummy give u this kind of unnecessary headache..

Man what bout ur dad, she didn't attend the trad wedding, in as much as u love ur woman proceed with the wedding, it is u that's getting married not her, but she won't make things easy for ur Lady and maybe u, but she would get tired and accept with time, only GOD knows how long.

Dad is late for a long while. I love my woman and she cares for my mum to

bright0311:


Dad is late for a long while. I love my woman and she cares for my mum to

wow, my condolences, well u are covered proceed with ur wedding man

Seriously I know how difficult this could be for you most especially your ties with your mum.
First, from your mum's perspective, it is difficult seeing you guys leaving her. She can't imagine her world outside you guys. This would take time for her to understand only if you are able to clearly define your relationship with her without hurting her and your wife. I advise you keep a cordial distance from her and tell her only important things about your marriage. She is not the one to stand as a father during your trad hence, her presence may not be that necessary if she still insist she would not attend.
However, the final decision would remain yours but remember to try and make her feel special

This is exactly what is happening to me now, same story as my mother inlaw claimed she suffered a lot to trained my wife after they lost there Dad,she initially wanted my wife to marry her friend's son base in Dubai but she go against her mother's wish . Now that our marriage is facing challenges,my mother inlaw took the advantage to make it worst and regrettable for my wife. As I write now she has moved back to her mum with my daughter.. So bro, it is not going to be easy for your wife,mother inlaw without husband always want to control there children's marriage and choice for selfish interest .

Bostin:
This is exactly what is happening to me now, same story as my mother inlaw claimed she suffered a lot to trained my wife after they lost there Dad,she initially wanted my wife to marry her friend's son base in Dubai but she go against her mother's wish . Now that our marriage is facing challenges,my mother inlaw took the advantage to make it worst and regrettable for my wife. As I write now she has moved back to her mum with my daughter.. So bro, it is not going to be easy for your wife,mother inlaw without husband always want to control there children's marriage and choice for selfish interest .

That's really sad.God dey your back

Pusyiter:
Seriously I know how difficult this could be for you most especially your ties with your mum.
First, from your mum's perspective, it is difficult seeing you guys leaving her. She can't imagine her world outside you guys. This would take time for her to understand only if you are able to clearly define your relationship with her without hurting her and your wife. I advise you keep a cordial distance from her and tell her only important things about your marriage. She is not the one to stand as a father during your trad hence, her presence may not be that necessary if she still insist she would not attend.
However, the final decision would remain yours but remember to try and make her feel special

Thanks man

Bostin:
This is exactly what is happening to me now, same story as my mother inlaw claimed she suffered a lot to trained my wife after they lost there Dad,she initially wanted my wife to marry her friend's son base in Dubai but she go against her mother's wish . Now that our marriage is facing challenges,my mother inlaw took the advantage to make it worst and regrettable for my wife. As I write now she has moved back to her mum with my daughter.. So bro, it is not going to be easy for your wife,mother inlaw without husband always want to control there children's marriage and choice for selfish interest .

I will need more of your input.

To he'll with ur mum Na she won live ur life for u?

Old age doesn't automatically confer wisdom. The most enlightened and "in-form" between/among people will always be wiser than the other party's.

OP, if you observed that in all sincerity you're wiser than your mother, kindly ignore her small-minded acts and carry on with your plans. And create emotional, psychological and physical distance with her - but don't alienate yourself from her, remain thoughtful towards her - I assure you that in the near future she'll come to you for sincere reconciliation and accord total respect to your independence.

so many things involved.if u go ahead ur mom will make sure u never enjoy ur marriage spiritually and physically.she will feel u disrespected and betrayed her.she will think back how she raised u.a woman's mind is very very deep.when they want to revenge nothing will stop them.ur mom sorry her hands are.not clean.a woman whose hands are not clean fear no authority,she might have signed a pact that is why she wants to give u a wife.ur mom will control u unconsioucly and that will affect ur marriage.some go as far as tying d wife"s womb.u only know ur heart.my advice go ahead and do not marry whom she wants.be very vigilant.and prayerful.why wait till d traditional day amd white.hmmmm.i am a mom.no tangiable excuse why she says no.becareful bro.any woman that does not put d happiness of her kids befre her's is a selfish woman.

Hello all please I am here to solicit for your likes on my post on this thread. Just scroll to my comment where I wrote INTERESTED and click like. Thanks

https://www.nairaland.com/971395/new-born-babies-u-new/1556#65364939

That is the link.

I married the lady my parents wanted me to and i dumped my loyal girl friend cos of thier tribal sentiments , selfish reasons and threat of no support. After spending close to 6m. I am seperated now about to divorce. In just 1year. If only i follwed my mind and maned up. Now everyone is quiet and full of regret. Pls be good to your self and please less of parents...dey can be evil atimes. I learnt the hard way. Man up!!!!

What is her reasons for not allowing you marry those girls and what is also her reason for insisting on the one she finds for you
This your story no straight at all and your mum is really very angry over something.
Try to find out before your wedding.

bright0311:

I will need more of your input.

Bro you need to be strong man to deal with two different woman i.e your wife and your mum. Thank God is your mum's issues not your mother inlaw,that will be hell because your wife will be easily manipulate by her mum when taugh time comes. Now hold on to your wife and also be your mum's best friend, never allow your mum see your marriage weakness even when things go wrong between you and your wife,tell your wife to be treating your mum like her own mum with gifts and cares,help her buy gifts to present to your mum regularly and tell her never to keep enmity with your mum until she finally confuse. Good luck

Donald3d:
That's really sad.God dey your back

Thanks