₦airaland Forum

pickabeau1:
There are other issues in this relationship however and judgements were made on the basis of one side

I know but you have helped to solve at least one of them and that is something, isn't it?

This is NL, most of the time, we only have the opportunity to hear one side of the story.

To be honest, I have my doubts whether the story is true after all but ok.

carefreewannabe:
I know but you have helped to solve at least one of them and that is something, isn't it?

This is NL, most of the time, we only have the opportunity to hear one side of the story.

To be honest, I have my doubts whether the story is true after all but ok.

There may be doubts but one can only work with what's its front
Objectivity should not be dismissed however

Some posters are honest like the guy who helped his wife with seed capital
He told us his own faults
This poster was too perfect

Unfortunately a lot of people will fall for this. Smooth talker.
First ask, how did u get to me? How did u get my phone? Violence..u just can't stop. You claim u love yet u want to kill me.
U ve some enough wrong yet u storm home and throw all my things on the floor after typing I love ur wife. I can't fool me anymore. Ur accusations I accept they won't change the truth in d sight of God.

I won't continue this with u, pls take over go ahead.
- wife

thinkingbee:
Unfortunately a lot of people will fall for this. Smooth talker.
First ask, how did u get to me? How did u get my phone? Violence..u just can't stop. You claim u love yet u want to kill me.
U ve some enough wrong yet u storm home and throw all my things on the floor after typing I love ur wife. I can't fool me anymore. Ur accusations I accept they won't change the truth in d sight of God.

I won't continue this with u, pls take over go ahead.
- wife

Na wa oh. Both of you get help or one of you leave so you both can regain sanity. Your kids are watching and sadly learning this isn't healthy

So, how are you twos typing with same username almost simultaneously?

Hubby types, pushes Lappy to wife?

Film tricks

Anyway, just in case this is happening for real, I think you both are NOT ready for marriage and should seek outside help preferably a marriage counsellor.

What do u say to a man u thought was christian brings out charm pours on u says u ll bury it family one by one this year.

U know sincerely Noone instructs anyone to lock u out, pls dnt lie. Why then would I open if I didn't want to, knowing ur violent nature and what could result.
I ve no single male friends even colleague because u suspect everyone. I don't live my life by u..
I set my standards by the word of God.
So say all u want. U named ur children not me... I won't go into details. it'd been a lot and u know the truth. If I was do bad like u say, wouldn't u hate me?

Tales by the moonlight. It's becoming increasingly ridiculous.

thinkingbee:
What do u say to a man u thought was christian brings out charm pours on u says u ll bury it family one by one this year.

U know sincerely Noone instructs anyone to lock u out, pls dnt lie. Why then would I open if I didn't want to, knowing ur violent nature and what could result.
I ve no single male friends even colleague because u suspect everyone. I don't live my life by u..
I set my standards by the word of God.
So say all u want. U named ur children not me... I won't go into details. it'd been a lot and u know the truth. If I was do bad like u say, wouldn't u hate me?

Again this is not healthy. Stop fighting and destroying each other, too much hate and resentment building up here again not healthy stop it. Get help both of you

When I questioned the womans story, a lot of funny untrained women here rained curses on me! Now Una see Una life? From my little experience I knew without being there that the woman was the real monster coming here to disparage a loving father who she has done everything humanly possible to destroy. My brother dump her Asap!

ifyalways:
So, how are you twos typing with same username almost simultaneously?

Hubby types, pushes Lappy to wife?

Film tricks

Anyway, just in case this is happening for real, I think you both are NOT ready for marriage and should seek outside help preferably a marriage counsellor.

They share the same account and password,i do that sometimes when i am with my laptop and cellphone.I might log in both and go in different section at once.


My only problem with the couple is that they can not live for now under the same roof,it is becoming toxic...they need to be apart-especially the women and kids.

thinkingbee please,don't rub this further more-you both adult and social media is not where you can do that..not the right place...

Have been following this from the first page........

Please you guys should stop washing your dirty linen outside.......

Its getting complicated as both of u av started playing the blame game which is not good.

I believe you guys should sit down to talk, re-evaluate your relationship, know where all these started from cos there's always a beggining and find solution to your issues. Nobody force you on each other and i believe you can still work things out.

@husband, i believe the responsibility lies on you to iron this out, so far you still love your wife dearly, call her, talk to her, plead with her (doesnt mean u are a fool) and try to settle issues with your wife.
Please and please for God sake think of your children in whatever you are doing, you might think dey are young but they can feel what is happening.

You guys should pls stop typing,sitdown and talk to yourselves.

I wish u guys all d best

edwife:
They share the same account and password,i do that sometimes when i am with my laptop and cellphone.I might log in both and go in different section at once.


My only problem with the couple is that they can not live for now under the same roof,it is becoming toxic...they need to be apart-especially the women and kids.

thinkingbee please,don't rub this further more-you both adult and social media is not where you can do that..not the right place...

I dont think the best advice is for them to be apart...........cos its their issue, nobody will solve it 4 them if they are not ready..y postpone it?
More reason why i suggest the husband should cool down 4 his wife, plead with her and sort things out. This doesnt mean he is a fool but he's d head here and he has to do what a leader will do even if it involves begging for the person to reason with u.

They should just stop typing cos its annoying reading from them

Ghen ghen.
Action movie don start again. No one called me.

* standing close to the gate in case of flying bottles *

soonest:
. I mean it o! But e be like say you like fight, see as you dey urge me on.

I'm done with you... wuss.

Me like fight ?
God forbid !

Too posh for that .

snakie86:
I dont think the best advice is for them to be apart...........cos its their issue, nobody will solve it 4 them if they are not ready..y postpone it?
More reason why i suggest the husband should cool down 4 his wife, plead with her and sort things out. This doesnt mean he is a fool but he's d head here and he has to do what a leader will do even if it involves begging for the person to reason with u.

They should just stop typing cos its annoying reading from them

Of course it is their issue and they will solve it themselves that what every couple does innit?

Why postpone it?well because there is anger,accusations,hurt,lies and no one solves issues with that mindset.They need time to cool off for now and when they are ready to drop all that then they can have a civil conversation.

thinkingbee:
Hi everyone, thanks for all your concern and advice. I feel at this point things should be made clear and spoken with truth.
I love my wife always have always will, I was really surprised she has taken our domestic difference to Naira land fully aware we some time use the same account here and I guess it's best I use same handle to clarify things. No man should hit a lady for any reason or his wife, but some women provoke men to insanity. My wife is a beautiful and intelligent lady and blessed me with two lovely kids I adore. She is still and always be the love of my life.
Synopsis: before we married I was head over hills in love with that even when I found out she had been married before (while snooping through her phone) I followed her to the court house to get an annulment and went ahead to marry her. Our issues started after we married, she kept in touch with previous boyfriends, I would wake up by 1am to see her chatting and giggling at her phone,i knew she had a lot of toasters as we call it but after 1 week I thought it would reduce then was dismayed to find out after one week no change of status on all social her social networks when I asked her reason was she didn't want her ex boyfriend mum to feel bad she married me not her son! I was shocked but over looked it I even agreed to give her time as she requested to lay them off, at this point I was asking myself if I made the right choice! Then she got pregnant and when I suggested we name our first daughter after my mum she said my mum's name Adaeze was a mammy water name and didn't want my child named after my mum.
Life continued with every challenge young couples face trying to build a home. Then I began to notice a pattern that the only time things where cool in the home was only when I did things to please her,without question. I tried to teach her things like neatness and eating healthy and being calm with me cos I knew I had temper issues which I discussed with her before we married. She was such a prayer warrior before we married and was my cold water on a hot day. All these ended after our first daughters birth under the guise of work and child bearing.
I started seeing text messages from different men she had mentioned in the past and reported the case to her family by this time things where getting bad,unfortunately this was not helpful.
Recent events:
I am a business development consultant,unlike my wife who has a regular nine to five I come home later than her. I told my wife that she should allow any nanny at home to sleep in the parlour when I'm not home so they can hear me knock severally,on this day I came home around 9.30pm knocked my knuckles for 1hr before the door was opened! This was seen as intentional cos just the previous day I had complained about always knocking for hours before getting in,the worst part is she would instruct. The house help not to open the door for me after 9pm. I got in got a cane to discipline the child and she charged at me knowing fully well I was angry and we got physical, prior to this event I kept insisting we send the Lil girl away cos I noticed truancy and a stubborn lying nature in the girl but she refused. On that very day simply because I told her the new nanny who looked 34years old but my wife said she was 19 needed time for me observe before making a decision about keeping her didn't go down well with her started raining curses on me that I will never succeed when ahead and said our children my generation would die but not her kids and I'm not the father of my children,that she will bury me and before I die I would crawl on my belly till I run mad, said a lot of things, she insults me at will threatens me to go and be with other men

Osanobuaaaaa, see gobeee, choice this gist sweet die, erm but oga, how have you taken over you madam nairaland, I hope she is ok

Mr Man, pls don't kill that woman oh. We will locate you and break your limb.

Better separate now, calm down and sort your ish out.

Violence is never the way.
Btw, How did you get her phone

edwife:
Of course it is their issue and they will solve it themselves that what every couple does innit?

Why postpone it?well because there is anger,accusations,hurt,lies and no one solves issues with that mindset.They need time to cool off for now and when they are ready to drop all that then they can have a civil conversation.

Man way flog 12yrs old "housemaid" wouldn't know what civility is.

Violence and night crawling is in his dna

Chillisauce:
Mr Man, pls don't kill that woman oh. We will locate you and break your limb.

Better separate now, calm down and sort your ish out.

Violence is never the way.
Btw, How did you get her phone ??

Violence

It is well with you both and I pray God restores peace into your home.

Most of the problems we face in our homes can be avoided/solved with PATIENCE. Trust me on this, I learnt the hard way. It just takes one of you to give that ultimate sacrifice. Try it.

thinkingbee:
Hi everyone, thanks for all your concern and advice. I feel at this point things should be made clear and spoken with truth.
I love my wife always have always will, I was really surprised she has taken our domestic difference to Naira land fully aware we some time use the same account here and I guess it's best I use same handle to clarify things. No man should hit a lady for any reason or his wife, but some women provoke men to insanity. My wife is a beautiful and intelligent lady and blessed me with two lovely kids I adore. She is still and

I don't believe this story. Somebody is bored.

Chillisauce:
Mr Man, pls don't kill that woman oh. We will locate you and break your limb.
?

First and foremost break your own cursed limbs before you dream of ever going near a properly married man! What effrontery! I totally abhor women like this whose crass tongue and total lack of the minutest sense of decorum gets exposed each time the exceed themselves to utter their putrid advice on public forums like this. Is this the advice you should be giving to these couple?

thinkingbee:
Hi everyone, thanks for all your concern and advice. I feel at this point things should be made clear and spoken with truth.
I love my wife always have always will, I was really surprised she has taken our domestic difference to Naira land fully aware we some time use the same account here and I guess it's best I use same handle to clarify things. No man should hit a lady for any reason or his wife, but some women provoke men to insanity. My wife is a beautiful and intelligent lady and blessed me with two lovely kids I adore. She is still and always be the love of my life.
Synopsis: before we married I was head over hills in love with that even when I found out she had been married before (while snooping through her phone) I followed her to the court house to get an annulment and went ahead to marry her. Our issues started after we married, she kept in touch with previous boyfriends, I would wake up by 1am to see her chatting and giggling at her phone,i knew she had a lot of toasters as we call it but after 1 week I thought it would reduce then was dismayed to find out after one week no change of status on all social her social networks when I asked her reason was she didn't want her ex boyfriend mum to feel bad she married me not her son! I was shocked but over looked it I even agreed to give her time as she requested to lay them off, at this point I was asking myself if I made the right choice! Then she got pregnant and when I suggested we name our first daughter after my mum she said my mum's name Adaeze was a mammy water name and didn't want my child named after my mum.
Life continued with every challenge young couples face trying to build a home. Then I began to notice a pattern that the only time things where cool in the home was only when I did things to please her,without question. I tried to teach her things like neatness and eating healthy and being calm with me cos I knew I had temper issues which I discussed with her before we married. She was such a prayer warrior before we married and was my cold water on a hot day. All these ended after our first daughters birth under the guise of work and child bearing.
I started seeing text messages from different men she had mentioned in the past and reported the case to her family by this time things where getting bad,unfortunately this was not helpful.
Recent events:
I am a business development consultant,unlike my wife who has a regular nine to five I come home later than her. I told my wife that she should allow any nanny at home to sleep in the parlour when I'm not home so they can hear me knock severally,on this day I came home around 9.30pm knocked my knuckles for 1hr before the door was opened! This was seen as intentional cos just the previous day I had complained about always knocking for hours before getting in,the worst part is she would instruct. The house help not to open the door for me after 9pm. I got in got a cane to discipline the child and she charged at me knowing fully well I was angry and we got physical, prior to this event I kept insisting we send the Lil girl away cos I noticed truancy and a stubborn lying nature in the girl but she refused. On that very day simply because I told her the new nanny who looked 34years old but my wife said she was 19 needed time for me observe before making a decision about keeping her didn't go down well with her started raining curses on me that I will never succeed when ahead and said our children my generation would die but not her kids and I'm not the father of my children,that she will bury me and before I die I would crawl on my belly till I run mad, said a lot of things, she insults me at will threatens me to go and be with other men

Regarding the knocking part
Is it impossible to get a spare key in Nigeria?
Get your own key to let yourself into the house instead of knocking
Or get a door bell installed
Ring the bell and anyone sleeping will hear it
There are always solutions to things and this is a small one
Your behavior that day was out of control and would have cost you a jail time in civilized countries

Babymama1:
Regarding the knocking part
Is it impossible to get a spare key in Nigeria?
Get your own key to let yourself into the house instead of knocking
Or get a door bell installed
Ring the bell and anyone sleeping will hear it
There are always solutions to things and this is a small one
Your behavior that day was out of control and would have cost you a jail time in civilized countries

Gbam!

dinachi:
F[s]irst and foremost break your own cursed limbs before you dream of ever going near a properly married man! What effrontery! I totally abhor women like this whose crass tongue and total lack of the minutest sense of decorum gets expcosed each time the exceed themselves to utter their putrid advice on public forums like this. Is this the advice you should be giving to these couple?[/s]

Shuuush..
You talk too much!
Mostly gabbage. Quote me when u have taken your meds

thinkingbee:
Unfortunately a lot of people will fall for this. Smooth talker.
First ask, how did u get to me? How did u get my phone? Violence..u just can't stop. You claim u love yet u want to kill me.
U ve some enough wrong yet u storm home and throw all my things on the floor after typing I love ur wife. I can't fool me anymore. Ur accusations I accept they won't change the truth in d sight of God.

I won't continue this with u, pls take over go ahead.
- wife

I suggest you don't trash each other here anymore
Seek out an older couple you love and admire and go to them for counseling
It takes a man who loves you to be this open and tell you he has anger issues,that tells me he is willing to work on it
In all his post he recognizes he made some mistakes
I am sure you also have yours
He is willing to work this out and you should give it a try
Yes you are angry
If a husband beats me up I would be mad as hell too and will want someone to beat him up mercilessly.
He sounds remorseful in that post
Men have a hard time showing emotions but I could read the emotions in his post
Humble yourself and determine to work this out
Every young couple goes through trials
That's the reason you are spending time chatting with old flames
Do you know how much that can infuriate your husband?
This is not the time to dig into who is right or wrong or who is more right or more wrong
You can make this work
Good marriages don't just happen,they are built by the people concerned and there are tools you need to make your marriage successful
I speak to you as a married woman raising children,who has passed through challenges as no marriage is perfect, it can work
Believe me when I say so
Be determined in your heart to make this work
It looks like your husband also wants this to work and it's a big plus
I wish you well

If you think I could be of help to talk to you woman to woman you can email me babyosisi@hotmail.com

Wow...
This is serious..

Story for the gods

Now the story is complete

Anyway nothing excuses you beating her.
As you agree that no man should lay his hands on his wife, it means you've realized your own wrong doing. Hopefully it won't happen again.

Violence is never a good reaction to provocation.
You might hit her in anger and she slumps and passes out. at that point, whatever she did to provoke you becomes immaterial as you will rightfully be labeled a wife killer. Is that ok by you?

You started beating your 12 yr old ward because she did open the door on time for you. Come on dude

Better be careful and seek help with your anger issues. At least you've recognized you have anger issues. That's a step forward. Seeking help for it is a more definite step in solving your problems.

@madam thinkingbee, I hope you're ready to acknowledge your part in this and make amends.
If possible both of you should consider serious counseling.leave those guys. They are not your husband and they don't mean well for you whether you believe it or not.
Don't be wrecking your own home with your own hands.
He says he loves you and he still thinks you're beautiful.
Maybe you guys can work it out if you're both ready to own your faults,forgive and work together

thinkingbee:
Hi everyone, thanks for all your concern and advice. I feel at this point things should be made clear and spoken with truth.
I love my wife always have always will, I was really surprised she has taken our domestic difference to Naira land fully aware we some time use the same account here and I guess it's best I use same handle to clarify things. No man should hit a lady for any reason or his wife, but some women provoke men to insanity. My wife is a beautiful and intelligent lady and blessed me with two lovely kids I adore. She is still and always be the love of my life.
Synopsis: before we married I was head over hills in love with that even when I found out she had been married before (while snooping through her phone) I followed her to the court house to get an annulment and went ahead to marry her. Our issues started after we married, she kept in touch with previous boyfriends, I would wake up by 1am to see her chatting and giggling at her phone,i knew she had a lot of toasters as we call it but after 1 week I thought it would reduce then was dismayed to find out after one week no change of status on all social her social networks when I asked her reason was she didn't want her ex boyfriend mum to feel bad she married me not her son! I was shocked but over looked it I even agreed to give her time as she requested to lay them off, at this point I was asking myself if I made the right choice! Then she got pregnant and when I suggested we name our first daughter after my mum she said my mum's name Adaeze was a mammy water name and didn't want my child named after my mum.
Life continued with every challenge young couples face trying to build a home. Then I began to notice a pattern that the only time things where cool in the home was only when I did things to please her,without question. I tried to teach her things like neatness and eating healthy and being calm with me cos I knew I had temper issues which I discussed with her before we married. She was such a prayer warrior before we married and was my cold water on a hot day. All these ended after our first daughters birth under the guise of work and child bearing.
I started seeing text messages from different men she had mentioned in the past and reported the case to her family by this time things where getting bad,unfortunately this was not helpful.
Recent events:
I am a business development consultant,unlike my wife who has a regular nine to five I come home later than her. I told my wife that she should allow any nanny at home to sleep in the parlour when I'm not home so they can hear me knock severally,on this day I came home around 9.30pm knocked my knuckles for 1hr before the door was opened! This was seen as intentional cos just the previous day I had complained about always knocking for hours before getting in,the worst part is she would instruct. The house help not to open the door for me after 9pm. I got in got a cane to discipline the child and she charged at me knowing fully well I was angry and we got physical, prior to this event I kept insisting we send the Lil girl away cos I noticed truancy and a stubborn lying nature in the girl but she refused. On that very day simply because I told her the new nanny who looked 34years old but my wife said she was 19 needed time for me observe before making a decision about keeping her didn't go down well with her started raining curses on me that I will never succeed when ahead and said our children my generation would die but not her kids and I'm not the father of my children,that she will bury me and before I die I would crawl on my belly till I run mad, said a lot of things, she insults me at will threatens me to go and be with other men

ifyalways:
So, how are you twos typing with same username almost simultaneously?

Hubby types, pushes Lappy to wife?

Film tricks

Anyway, just in case this is happening for real, I think you both are NOT ready for marriage and should seek outside help preferably a marriage counsellor.

soonest:
Story for the gods

2CatWoman:
I don't believe this story. Somebody is bored.

And I'd finished typing my epistle before I saw their follow up drama.
What a waste of time
Bored kid on the loose most likely

Chillisauce:
Shuuush..
You talk too much!
Mostly gabbage. Quote me when u have taken your meds

Just as predicted...she panders to the gutter digs up filth and pours on herself again. Are you addicted to idiotic ramblings?