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confused help - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyconfused help (1582 Views)

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confused help by Nobody:
My husband praises me at home ,but goes outside telling people how bad I am .that am evil that he regret marrying me just last last month I lost my pregnancy, we shed tears together ,to my surprise he called some family members telling them I did abortion .has been like this since six years we got married. Whenever I confront him he start begging me saying he is sorry ,that it cant happen again telling me am a good woman,he love me so much,that he is ready to give his life for me ,but goes around painting me black in front of people. Pls help me ,am afraid of the future with him :
Re: confused help by elantraceey(f): 5:55pm On Feb 11, 2015
How did you know that he speaks ill of you to people?
Re: confused help by Nobody: 5:57pm On Feb 11, 2015
Do you have a child for him yet?
Re: confused help by crackhaus: 6:01pm On Feb 11, 2015
Should we come confront your husband for you?

What should I bring along, a Bible or stick?
Re: confused help by Nobody: 6:01pm On Feb 11, 2015
Like the last one that happened, they were calling me saying that they disappointed in me how can I abort my child,I told them is not true.
Re: confused help by Gboliwe: 6:02pm On Feb 11, 2015
Vessi:
Do you have a child for him yet?
Exact question I was going to ask
Re: confused help by Nobody: 6:05pm On Feb 11, 2015
Yes we have two children ,a boy and a girl
Re: confused help by dytbabe: 6:28pm On Feb 11, 2015
Mr chisom101 is a chameleon
grin grin grin

In some NLers world
Divorce him for he can kill his children and say its u *no be my opinion be that o*
grin grin grin
Re: confused help by mutter(f): 6:41pm On Feb 11, 2015
My dear I honestly believe that your husband loves you but it doess appear he has a problem.

Self -pity

You see we are so used to using this word that it has become harmless and indeed a bit of self pity does one good but
Pity for oneself; especially exaggerated or self-indulgent pity where you believe that you are the victim who has done no wrong and is deserving of condolence from everyone.
Self-pity is the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is v addictive and easily becomes chronic.
You end up pitying yourself and believing you have done no wrong and someone else is responsible for you problems. You also loose thouch with reality of the situation.

This is also one condition that is largely ignored and most people would never admit the have this problem.

I think you need to observe it more and ask an expert, he might need help.
Re: confused help by baby124: 7:51pm On Feb 11, 2015
Mental health is very important in your choice of partner. If it does not make sense, it does not for a reason. And if the person cannot help how they behave, then maybe they need mental help. He has to admit he has a problem and you both should seek help. I am serious. A lot of the spousal abuse that is verbal, physical and emotional stems from deep mental health issues and unresolved problems of the abuser
Re: confused help by anthoniaz(f): 8:07pm On Feb 11, 2015
shocked unbelievable!
Re: confused help by Nobody: 8:54pm On Feb 11, 2015
baby124:
Mental health is very important in your choice of partner. If it does not make sense, it does not for a reason. And if the person cannot help how they behave, then maybe they need mental help. He has to admit he has a problem and you both should seek help. I am serious. A lot of the spousal abuse that is verbal, physical and emotional stems from deep mental health issues and unresolved problems of the abuser
. Very true
Re: confused help by Jorussia(m): 8:59pm On Feb 11, 2015
Be a little bit more patient with him,and just try to give deaf ear to rumours.
Re: confused help by soulglo: 9:02pm On Feb 11, 2015
mutter:
My dear I honestly believe that your husband loves you but it doess appear he has a problem.

Self -pity

You see we are so used to using this word that it has become harmless and indeed a bit of self pity does one good but
Pity for oneself; especially exaggerated or self-indulgent pity where you believe that you are the victim who has done no wrong and is deserving of condolence from everyone.
Self-pity is the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is v addictive and easily becomes chronic.
You end up pitying yourself and believing you have done no wrong and someone else is responsible for you problems. You also loose thouch with reality of the situation.

This is also one condition that is largely ignored and most people would never admit the have this problem.

I think you need to observe it more and ask an expert, he might need help.
baby124:
Mental health is very important in your choice of partner. If it does not make sense, it does not for a reason. And if the person cannot help how they behave, then maybe they need mental help. He has to admit he has a problem and you both should seek help. I am serious. A lot of the spousal abuse that is verbal, physical and emotional stems from deep mental health issues and unresolved problems of the abuser
I agree with both posts. It's either an emotional or mental issue or it falls somewhere in between. I have seen were a man obviously cares for his wife and they live well together but his sisters are in bad marriages. When they start bad mouthing his wife he does not defend her. In fact he feels bullied to agree. I think it comes from years of having two overly pushy older sisters and a dad not being around but what the heck do I know.
Re: confused help by Nobody: 9:57pm On Feb 11, 2015
World worst husband's day on Nairaland. My sister endure your husband is a saint compared to the one that asked his wife to swallow his fluid to prove her love.
Re: confused help by soulglo: 11:36pm On Feb 11, 2015
brito:
World worst husband's day on Nairaland. My sister endure your husband is a saint compared to the one that asked his wife to swallow his fluid to prove her love.
ROTFLMAO
1 Reply

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